Waking Nightmares

Disclaimer: Don’t own it, never have, never will. ::sigh::

A/N: This is set a little before FotR. Warning: Rape, but not graphic.

Waking Nightmares

Faramir lay in his bed with the curtains drawn tight and the door soundly locked. All he wanted to do was shut the entire world out. How could he have let something like this happen to him? He was the son of the Steward of Gondor, the brother of the Gondor’s courageous Captain-General, the Commander of the Ithilien Rangers of Henneth-Annun. How could he let this heinous act be forced upon him so?

He could still feel the groping hands of his attackers, still feel them pounding into him while he fought fruitlessly beneath them. His world was crumbling underneath him, and he had no one to turn to for fear of being seen as shameful. What would his family think of him now?

Oh, gods, his family, he could not tell them. His fragile relationship with his father would shatter, replaced by Denethor’s disdain at his weakness. And Boromir, his loving brother, would be shamed. Sure, he would stand by Faramir, but it would be out of pity, not of love. How Faramir would hate to see the love in those green eyes replaced by pity! Not to mention Boromir’s thirst for justice would see that vengeance was enacted, which would bring Faramir under the scrutiny of all of Gondor, something he could never bear.

He had to get out of the Citadel and away from Minas Tirith; he wanted to be back with his company in Ithilien. However, it would not be allowed. The stupid shoulder that had gotten him sent back to Minas Tirith, the wound that his attackers had exploited, had not yet healed. It was his own fault. He should’ve avoided that thrice-damned arrow. He also shouldn’t have ignored the fact that it could’ve been poisoned. If he had done so, he might never of had to leave Ithilien.

However, he had not done so, and he had to be sent to Minas Tirith in a feverish state. Then, he had to have been confined to the Citadel to rest until fully healed. Now, he didn’t think he’d ever be fully healed…

Was life even worth living anymore?

Tbc…