A Best Kept Secret

The shadows were catching up with him. His legs were tired from an all day's run, but he couldn't stop now. He couldn’t fail. If he would stop just for one second the shadows would catch up with him and then…He didn't dare to think of what might happen. No matter what, he can't give up. But they were so close. He could feel their cold hands on his shoulders, dragging him down. He tried to push them away, but they were stronger. Much stronger then he was. His legs felt heavy and his breath came in gasps as he struggled to go on, but his legs refused to cooperate. He fell down and the burning pain was enough to tell him that he scraped his palms and his elbows. He tried to get up, but the shadows were already closing in on him. He tried to scream, but a cold hand closed over his mouth, effectively muffling his screams. The hand was cold like death, and three times as deadly. His weak attempts to free himself were met with laughter that would freeze seas. His eyes frantically searched for something, anything that would help. Something freezing started to creep up his lower body, but he couldn't see anything that would tell him what exactly caused the cold to wash over him. Suddenly white pain erupted behind his eyes. Blood started to seep through his shirt, the crimson a dark contrast against the white. Three deep scratches, blinding him with pain. He clutched with his free hand on his chest and the hand came away sticky with blood. The coldness started to creep higher and seemed to freeze his heart as it rose above his chest. He couldn't breathe as he struggled to escape. But the freezing sensation crawled up his throat and his vision began to blur as he started to suffocate. His eyes flew wide as he fought for his last breath, which left him too early…

He sat up straight in his bed, panting for breath. His hand flew to his throat and slid to his chest. Covered in sweat he sat there for several minutes, unconvinced that it was all a dream. A nightmare more like it. A nightmare that fell only too real to his likening. Shakily he stood up and slowly walked to the bathroom connected to his room. Turning the knobs he watched as hot water slowly filled the tub. Shedding his clothes he threw a handful of herbs into the tub and stepped into the steaming water. It was almost hot enough to burn him, but the heat was what he needed. He closed his eyes in bliss, trying to forget about the nightmare.

This wasn't the first time he dreamt of the coldness, the haunting ghosts of death. Not even the hot bath seemed to sooth his senses. He wrapped his arms around his waist and squeezed his eyes shut. Why? Why did he have to be haunted by these nightmares? For centuries he tried to make them go away, but no amount of sleeping potions or tiredness made them disappear. He tried to focus on his work, yet from time to time his mind drifted off to his nightmares.

No one except for Elrond noticed this and the Lord of Imladris worried about his friend. The Advisor was growing more and more quiet. Not even Elladan and Elrohir were able to get him to talk to them the last days. And to say the last, Elrond feared that his friend would fade away. But he was too precious to him. Over the centuries the stoic and seemingly cold advisor became a part not only of Elrond`s household, but a part of his family too. And more then often he saved the Lord with his wise words.

Slowly he rose from the bath and started to prepare for the new day. He dried his skin and his long raven hair, which reached, below his buttocks. Arien started to rise and her warm rays warmed the lands. The dark haired Elf hoped it would warm him too, but he had lost hope a long time ago. As he opened his closet, dark robes were all he found. He selected a black robe and slipped into it, the soft material caressing his skin. He braided his hair so it wouldn't fall into his face. For some reason, he couldn't remember the last time ho wore his hair loose among his fellow Elves. Speaking of which, breakfast was to be served in a few minutes in the Hall of Fire and he was supposed to attend.

Sighting, Erestor opened the door and left the comforting sanctuary of his rooms, heading for the Hall of Fire to face another day.

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Glorfindel was laughing at a story Elladan was telling. The Elfling grew into a great and strong warrior, while his twin followed in the steps of the aloof advisor. Spending most of his time studying in the library under the watchful eye of Erestor, Glorfindel wondered why would someone as cheerful and full of life like Elrohir would want to spend his free time in the company of Erestor. Elrond`s Chief Advisor radiated coldness and his words were always carefully chosen, never speaking of personal matters. All Glorfindel knew about the dark haired Elf was his name and the high position he held in Imladris. They talked to each other only when required, and even them the words were polite and on Erestor`s side, cold even. The blonde warrior was always glad when the meetings were over. The presence of the advisor made him nervous.

Erestor chose that moment to enter the Hall of Fire. Many eyes flew to him, some of them filled with admiration, some with lust. Unaware of the stares delivered to his form, Erestor walked over to the table and sat on his usual place. Elrond`s right. The Lord of Imladris smiled at him, but the smile wasn't returned. The dark haired advisor stared in front of him, the food on his table untouched. Because of his robes, nobody noticed the otherwise worrying amount of weight he had lost. The dark eyes lost their sparkle a long time ago and the once so shiny hair seemed dull. Barely registering the food, Erestor focused on the miruvor the cook served him.

“Good morning Erestor.”

“Morning, my Lord.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? It has been millennia and you still do it just to annoy me, don't you my friend.” Erestor attempted to smile at Elrond`s remark, but his face muscles didn't cooperate. “There is a meeting scheduled for the afternoon. You should tell Elladan and Elrohir to attend. It concerns them as well.” But the twins heard their father speak and Elladan frowned.

“But Adar, I am supposed to go on a patrol today.”

“Glorfindel can take your place.” Elrond spoke up, but Erestor shook his head.

“The Captain need to be present too, Elrond. He will have to send a substitute.” Glorfindel frowned. He didn't like the fact that it was the advisor who told Elrond that he is supposed to send his substitute. He might be the advisor, but Elrond was the Lord. The warrior was about to object, when Elrond nodded.

“You will send your second in command, Glorfindel. If Erestor says that you have to be present then so shall be it.” Glorfindel nodded and looked at Erestor. The Advisor returned his stare for a second, then stood up.

“I will be in the study.” Elrond looked at the table and then at his friend.

“You didn't eat a bite of your food.”

“I am not hungry. As I said, I will be in the study.” With a small bow, he left the Hall of Fire. Glorfindel stared after him, his gaze burning into Erestor`s back. The Advisor felt those blue eyes on him, but paid the feeling to attention. After all those millennia, he got used to people staring at him.

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Glorfindel wasn't exactly happy. He was looking forward to spending the day on the training grounds with his men. Now he was stuck and with no way out. Sighting, he started to toy with the food on his plate, not really seeing it. Ever since he met Erestor the dark haired Elf had kept his distance. At first he was tempted to find out more about him, but his attempt at forming something like friendship between them, failed. The Advisor radiated coldness and distance. Everyone kept their distance from him, except for Elrond, Elrohir and Melpomaen. Glorfindel tried to befriend Erestor, but only received the cold shoulder. After a while he stopped trying and let the dark haired Elf do as he pleased. But he still felt sorry when he saw him alone all the time. No one deserved to be alone. But what could he do?

“Glorfindel? You seem troubled, meldir. What is troubling you?” Elrond`s voice interrupted his thought and he turned to the Lord with a tired look on his face.

“It is Erestor. Why does he act so…cold? When I tried to make friends with him he pushed me away. Sometimes I think that the only ones who get along with him are you and Elrohir. Even Elladan prefers to spend his time outside rather then with the Advisor.” Glorfindel sighed.

Elrond smiled. “Glorfindel. Erestor does not make friends easily. He is not an easy person to befriend either. Winning his trust costs time and patience. Without those two qualities, you will not succeed. It took me almost a century to gain his trust. Elladan, like you, prefers to spend his time outside. But Ever since Elrohir was a small Elfling he preferred to spend time with Erestor.” Elrond smiled at his sons. “Erestor might seem cold, but when the twins were born he took them in his arms and vowed to protect them with his life. He rocked them to sleep when Celebrían and I wanted some time alone. He even sang to them, a lullaby his mother sang to him when he was a child. Glorfindel, “ Elrond leaned closer to the Elda, “when Erestor loves, he loves with his whole heart. There is no way he can split his heart in two. Because in that case it would shatter.”

Glorfindel frowned. “What are you trying to say?” Elrond could be really confusing at times.

The Half-Elf smiled. “You will figure out soon, mellon. We should finish soon. I do not want to keep Erestor waiting.” They finished their breakfast and together with Elladan and Elrohir they went to join Erestor in the Study.

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“More Orcs were sighted near the Northern border. We need to double the patrols. Lord Celeborn offered his help in keeping Imladris safe. He wants to send one of his trusted men and a few archers. They would train with our men, both sides benefiting from each other. They would train under The Lord's seneschal's command as well as under Lord Glorfindel's.” The coldness in Erestor's voice made Glorfindel flinch.

“Did he say who exactly will he send?” Elrond was reading Celeborn's letter, but the Lord of Lothlórien didn't mention any names.

“Nay. The party from Lothlórien will arrive in six days. I have already assigned them rooms with out men. The seneschal's room is situated next to Lord Glorfindel's, as they are both warriors and captains.” Erestor regarded Glorfindel with a brief look. The blond Elf nodded and as Erestor turned away, Glorfindel took his time to study the raven-haired Elf.

Long, midnight black hair that reached past his buttocks was neatly braided into a single plait that flowed down the Advisor’s back. Even tightly braided the hair shone as Arien's rays fell on it. Rimmed with long lashes, Erestor’s large brown eyes seemed to radiate only coldness, but Glorfindel could remember that once or twice he saw warmth radiate from those beautiful pools. The pale complexion of Erestor's skin made the hair and eyes stand out even more. Sometimes the Elda wondered what the Advisor looked like beneath those robes. Not once had he seen him wear anything else. But then again, he was an advisor. There was no need for him to wear leggings and a shirt, as most did when training on the grounds.

Yet he had to admit, the dark haired Elf was a beautiful sight to behold.

“Lord Glorfindel will need a substitute for the next few days so he can design a training plan for the newcomers.” At this The Elda frowned.

But before he could speak, Elladan and Elrohir spoke as in one voice. “We can fill in for him.”

Elrond nodded his approval. “Be careful. Report anything suspicious to the Captain and to Erestor.”

“We will, Ada.”

“My Lord, -“

“Please, do not address me like that. There should be no titles between us.” Elrond still had to remind both his seneschal and his Chief Advisor that he didn't want them to use titles when they were alone. “Titles are meant to be used in public, not in private.”

“Elrond then, I am capable of both, completing my duties and devising a training plan.”

But Elrond shook his head. “Nay. My sons will fill in for you and you and Erestor will develop a training plan. The letter says that Celeborn's seneschal puts his trust in your abilities and wisdom. Do not disappoint him.” Elrond stood up. “I think that's all.” But Glorfindel wasn't the only one who disliked the arrangement. Erestor stood up as well.

“Elrond, Glorfindel can continue his duties while I can design the training plan. I do not see a reason for him to be confined in a study when it is so obvious that he prefers the outside.” But Elrond only smiled and shook his head.

“It has been centuries since you wielded a sword or shot from a bow. And it will do both of you good to spend some time in each other's company. Now if you would excuse me, I have o reply to Thranduil's letter.” With that Elrond left the study.

“We will go and inform the guards.” Offered the twins and disappeared after their father.

Glorfindel stared after them, wondering if he should leave too. But no. He decided against it. Instead he stood up and walked over to Erestor's desk. “Where shall we start?”

Erestor frowned at the *we* Glorfindel used, but said nothing. “The library.” With that he stood up and strode past Glorfindel, without even looking at the blond. If the Elda decided against following him, then fine. He didn't need his help. He was perfectly capable of forming the training plan by himself. He didn't need anyone's help! And just as well he was capable of wielding a sword. It might have been a few centuries since he used one, but because of his memories, he would never forget this particular skill.

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The library was deserted as Erestor entered. The Elda didn't follow him and he was relieved that he didn't have to deal with him. Looking around he tried to locate the book he needed.

“Strange…” It wasn't in its proper place. Some of the books were in completely different placed and that made Erestor's mood darken. He hated it when something was out of order. Carefully he started to put the volumes and scrolls into their proper places, hoping that the one he needed would appear. But it didn't.

Looking around Erestor frowned. Someone obviously placed the volume he needed on top of the highest shelf. He wouldn't be able to get it without the library ladder, which he hated. But it was unavoidable. Sighting he moved the ladder where he needed it and climbed up. Whoever put the book there would get to feel his anger.

Suddenly the ladder shook and Erestor lost his footing. He felt himself fall and closed his eyes, waiting for the hard impact with the ground. But it never came. Instead he found himself held tightly in strong arms. Slowly he opened his eyes and found himself staring into pools of blue sea.

“You almost took a nasty fall there. Good thing I was here to prevent it.” Glorfindel's voice rang in his ears and he realized that the Elda was still holding him. The warmth of Glorfindel's body seeped into his own.

“T-thank you. But, would you put me down? This is hardly appropriate.” Complying, the Elda set him on his feet. Erestor swayed a bit, butt he next second there was a steadying arm around his waist.

“Easy there. Maybe you should go and see Elrond.” Offered Glorfindel, worried about the Advisor's state. The Elf felt too thin in his arms and hardly weighted a thing. The fact hat he swayed when Glorfindel put him on his feet again didn't make the worry go away either.

“I assure you that I am fine. Somebody messed around with the volumes and scrolls and the one I needed was on the top of that shelf.” Erestor straightened his robes, willing his heart to stop its wild thudding. He could still feel the lingering warmth of the blonde Elf. “Shall we start working on the training plan, or do you wish to do something else while I work on it alone?”

Glorfindel scowled at the Advisor. The dark haired Elf was still visibly shaking and a training plan was the last thing on the seneschal's mind. “I think you should rest. Maybe eat something too, seeing that you didn't eat any breakfast.”

Erestor didn't like that and suddenly became aware of the arm that was still around his waist. “I am fine. Release me so I can start to work.” He regretted a bit that his voice sounded so cold and commanding.

Glorfindel just shook his head. “No. You are obviously in dire need of rest. So are you going to comply or will I have to carry you to your rooms myself?” The prospect of holding the lithe body in his arms again looked very tempting.

The brown eyes widened and Erestor tried to step back, but the Elda's arm was holding him in place. “You wouldn't dare…“ But the light that shone in those blue eyes told him differently. “I have work to do.”

Glorfindel sighed. “The I have no other choice.” For a second Erestor felt relieved, though a bit disappointed when the seneschal's arm left his waist. But a moment later he found himself lifted into those strong arms again.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I am doing? I am carrying you to your rooms so you can rest.” The blue eyes twinkled and Erestor averted his gaze. He tried to struggle, but in his nightmare-weakened state he presented no challenge for the warrior.

“Put me down! This is hardly dignified!” Protested the Advisor. But Glorfindel pretended not to hear any of it and continued his way to Erestor's rooms. That baffled the dark haired Elf. /How does Glorfindel know where my rooms are?/

Standing before the door Glorfindel encountered a problem. He couldn't open the door because his arms were full of a struggling Elf. And he couldn't let go of Erestor either, for he feared that the dark-haired beauty would flee. His problem was solved when Melpomaen, Erestor's assistant appeared around the corner.

“Right on time, meldir. Would you open the door for me? I seem to be a little shorthanded here.” Glorfindel gave the Elf a stunning smile.

Melpomaen slowly nodded and opened the door. Erestor didn't even have the time to protest as he was laid on his bed. He simply stared at the warrior in wonder and confusion. No one had ever done anything like this before. /What possessed him? Not even *he* did something like this and we were lovers for centuries./ Suddenly overwhelmed with memories of his lover, Erestor softly whimpered. Images were flashing before his eyes and the awareness from those brown orbs slowly disappeared. The small sound went unregistered by the assistant, but not by the warrior.

“Is there anything else I can do?” Offered Melpomaen.

Glorfindel, heard the faint whimper that came from the Advisor and wanted to check on him. But not with the assistant around. “Would you tell the cook to prepare a light meal and have it send to Erestor's rooms?”

“Aye, sir. Anything else?”

“That is all. Thank you.” Melpomaen bowed and left the rooms.

Glorfindel slowly approached the bed. Erestor was staring at the ceiling, his features relaxed. /He fell asleep so quickly. He must have been exhausted./ The Elda sat on the edge of the big, four-poster bed and looked around. Erestor's rooms were nothing what he expected them to be like.

He would have never expected that someone like the Advisor would sleep in such bed. It seemed perfect for sleeping and absolutely made for love-making. Made of dark oak and with dark red covers it seemed warm and inviting. The rest of the room was also furnished with dark oak. A bookshelf was filled with books that were too precious to the Elf to be put in the library. A desk filled with papers, quills and a bottle of ink stood in front of the door that led to a balcony. A table and two chairs stood near the centre of the room. A fluffy carpet was spread out in front of a big fireplace. A closet, probably filled with dark robes, mused Glorfindel, stood in the corner. A door to his left led to the private bathroom.

What surprised him was the family crest of Gil-Galad that hung on the wall next to the bed. Also, twin pair of Elven swords decorated one of the walls, along with long hunting knifes. One look told Glorfindel that not long ago they were used in a battle, their blades still as sharp as ever. A trunk was hidden beneath a black cover and sat right under the crest. But Glorfindel knew better then to go through Erestor's personal belongings. /But why the High-King's crest?/ Thinking, Glorfindel observed the delicate features of Erestor's face.

A servant knocked and entered, carrying a tray filled with fruits, cheese and freshly baked bread. A carafe filled with fresh spring water was also there and the Elda motioned for her to put it on the table The She-Elf bowed and left the rooms.

Glorfindel was about to wake the Advisor up, when awareness returned to those dark eyes. Erestor woke up.