Vodka lime and soda

Discliamer: I wish it was true! But it isn’t. *pout*

Autor’s notes: Ioan is Ioan Gruffudd, the guy that played Lancelot in “King Arthur”. I just want to explain why I think he could know Beanie...
Ioan could’ve met Orli. They were together in “Wilde” plus Ioan was on one of the Ned Kelly premieres. And being one of Orli’s friends he could’ve met Beanie.
Dedicated to my little sisters! Happy birthday, sweeties!! Love ya!
And no, I’m not obsessed at all with Lotr and Ioan a.k.a. Vince in my other fic “Such is life”. Not at all!

Vodka lime and soda


I can see him sitting in the dim light of the bar, tracing the rim of his glass with his index-finger. Vodka lime and soda. I don’t bother to ask anymore, some things never change. One of them is Ioan. It feels good to know that not having seen him for a long time I can come back to him and it is as if I had never parted. I think he’s heard a movement behind his back for he suddenly turns his head and faces me, a warm smile that I have missed for so long spreading on his lips, enlightening his face.

“Hey...” I close the gap between us with two steps, putting my arms around him, hugging him only a little longer than necessary. The scent of tea and honeyed toast fills my nostrils. Ioan always smells like home. “You look good, mate,” I say, meaning it as I sit down next to him at the bar. He still hasn’t said a word, occasionally sipping at his vodka, waiting for me to speak. Ioan looks happier than he used to, the worried lines that I thought had edged themselves into his face have vanished, his smile has returned.

“You’re so quiet today...” I tease him, the drink I’ve ordered burning nice warm trails down my throat. “Anything special?”

His eyes are sparkling over the rim of his glass. “Maybe...”

So he doesn’t want to tell me. Alright. I’ll keep guessing then. I glance at the empty glass in front of him. Making him drunk is no option. Ioan drinks that stuff like water. I tell you, never go out drinking with a Welshman, cause he’ll drink you under the table in no time. When Ioan’s tongue starts to loosen, I’ll be too far gone to even notice.

“So...” I bite my tongue. What could be the reason for Ioan’s sudden change of mood? “You got your dream part in some movie?”

Ioan shakes his head, sipping at his freshly ordered drink.

I frown. “It’s your birthday?” Please not! I always tend to forget things like that. Relieved, I let go of the breath I didn’t even notice I held when he shakes his head again.

“No.”

Then I suddenly know it. It was really obvious. Too fucking obvious. Groaning inwardly I curse myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Sometimes I just wanna smack myself, because of my own stupidity. I down my drink my drink in one long gulp instead, not wanting to see Ioan’s reaction to me banging my head against the bar.

“You’re in love,” I finally mutter, flinching at the accusing sound of my voice. I dread his answer, I really do. For the first time in my life I’m afraid to lift my head and meet his gaze.

Finally I find the courage to do it, surprised that the big happy smile doesn’t really rip a bleeding hole into my heart, cause it feels like it. His smile tells me all I have to know: It’s a yes, a definite yes.

“Oh...” I try to keep the pain out of my voice. You’re an actor, mate, I try to tell myself, you can do it. It isn’t right to feel like that when your best friend is head over heels in love. I should be happy for him. “That’s...um...great.”

Wow, that sounded really great. If you go on like that he won’t ever believe me. What was it again? Oh, yes. Acting... “Who is the happy one?” I ask overly cheerily with a fake smile on my lips. “Do I know her?”

Ioan arches his eyebrows slightly, his grin widening impossibly. “Him...” he replies softly, his pink tongue darting out to lick his lips.

I choke on my drink, not able to believe what I just heard. “He...I mean you’re gay?!” I cough, the alcohol burning in my throat.

Ioan snickers softly at my behaviour. “I swing both ways,” he replies, a mischievous smile on his lips.

Fuck. I’ve always thought my mate was straight, straighter, straightest. If I just had known! But now I’m sitting here, cursing my misfortune.

Ioan is observing my every move. Fuck, but that guy can read my body language too well. “You are okay with that, aren’t you?” he asks softly, his eyebrows curving ever so slightly.

He doesn’t really believe I’m a homophobe, does he? “It doesn’t change anything,” I reply, a brave smile on my lips. Liar! It changes everything. Everything!

“Good.” Ioan looks relieved. “Didn’t think you were narrow minded...” He orders another drink, tracing the line of its rim before drinking from it.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” I say more out of politeness than curiosity. “Who is he?” I don’t want to know. “Do I know him?” Please not!

“Actually you know him quite well...”

What’s that? He’s not getting shy, is he? Hiding those wonderfully warm brown eyes under dark lashes... But still no name. Doesn’t really matter, does it? I won’t push him. “And what is he like? Does he treat you well?” I hope the question didn’t sound too sharp, but I care about him and I don’t want to see him hurt.

He’s laughing, showing white teeth. “Do you really think I could love somebody who doesn’t worship the ground I walk on?” he jokes, slender fingers combing through dark hair. “No, really,” he continues, his grin turning into a shy smile. “I feel my strongest when he’s around, he makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry...” He sighs, hiding his face in his hands. “I can’t believe I’m saying all this... It’s...I’ve never felt like that before.” He looks up at me again and I can read in his eyes that he’s telling the truth.

The raw honesty in his eyes scares me and I close my eyes. That’s it, you’ve lost him. I bite back a pained groan, turning my grimace into the mask of a happy face. “Then of course I’m happy for you...” I say softly, taking his hands into mine. This time it sounds real. Of course it does, because I mean it. I want him to be happy – with or without me.

“Thank you,” he whispers back, something glistening in the corner of his eye. That’s it. I’ve always had a soft spot for crying men, so I pull Ioan into the circle of my arms, resting my chin on his shoulder. Can’t let my mate cry alone, right? I think as I feel the first tears running down my own cheeks. Other as Ioan’s tears are not cried out of joy, but out of despair as something darker than death takes hold of my heart.

Ioan feels the twitching of my shoulders and he pulls back, wiping hot tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. “Stupid!” he laughs shakily. “Why are you crying? I’m the one supposed to be all girly and sentimental!”

“Feel like it,” I reply honestly, thinking he has never looked more beautiful to me than now. Stupid crying men with their stupid effect on me!

“Sentimental idiot...” he smiles and leans forward, kissing the tears from my cheek.

Whoa! He has never done that before, I think before reason is erased from my brain. Electric jolts curse through my body as his lips brush mine ever so softly. That’s another thing he has never done before, I think after he has pulled back, acting normal as if the world hadn’t just been turned upside down. Ioan is officially bisexual now. He’s allowed to act gay now.

“When will you see him again?” I ask, trying to step out of the centre of is attention.

Brown eyes blink excitedly. “Tonight,” he answers. “At least I hope so...”

“You gonna meet him here?” The question is posed in an innocent tone, but I’m already making plans of how to escape before the other one arrives.

Fortunately Ioan shakes his head. “No, I’ll go to his place and surprise him!” He can’t keep the excitement out of his voice, probably doesn’t even bother to hide it. “And when he opens the door, I’ll kiss him and let him fuck me against the wall...” Ioan continues, his voice dropping to a lower level, a dreamlike expression on is face.

I’m feeling sick now, images of Ioan writhing against a strange male body filling my mind. Didn’t want to know that much about my mate. “What are you waiting for then?” I ask, not being able to look into his eyes.

“I’m shy,” Ioan says quietly. “What if he doesn’t want me?”

“If you could see yourself...” I mutter too quietly for him to understand.

“What did you say?” he frowns, suddenly looking much younger than he is.

“Why should he not want you?” I reply gently.

“Dunno... I’m just all nerves!”

All I want to do is cry, but Ioan’s my friend, meaning I have to support him. Grabbing his hand I stand up, pulling him with me. “I’m sure you’ll be fine,” I try to reassure him, although my heart is bleeding. “Now move your ass and show him what you have to offer him!”

Ioan laughs. “Alright!” He searches his pocket for money and pays for both of our drinks. “I’m a victim of daylight robbery,” he mumbles as we walk out of the pub. “It’s expensive to be a free-time alcoholic...”

I shrug and he hugs me one last time before getting into one of the waiting cabs. “See ya!”

I wave after the cab until it vanishes. Has he always been that touchy? Seemingly I can’t remember. Of course you shouldn’t drink and drive, but what do I care?

The drive home goes surprisingly well, considering the amount of alcohol running through my veins and well...Ioan. Now that he’s gone, I can admit it: I’ve been secretly in love with my best mate, admiring him from far away for years now. Nevertheless I’ve never made a move, cause I always thought he was straight and had no interest in men at all. I mean you don’t just go to your friend, have a drink and ask him “By the way, are you gay?”

Hysterical laughter ripples through my body as I finally enter my apartment, slumping against the closed door. Isn’t it ironic? I’ve always feared opening my heart to him out of fear that I might lose him, but now I’ve lost him, because I didn’t do anything.

Tears are running down my face freely and I wipe them away angrily. A faint knock at the door distracts me. Perhaps if I wait long enough whoever it is will go away, I think, wanting to be alone with my pain.

“I know you’re there, mate! Open the door!” I suddenly hear Ioan’s voice and automatically get up, oblige. “Ioan...”

He stands there on my porch, staring at my wet face with wide eyes. “Sean...” Ioan breathes, his foreign accent seemingly turning my name into something more ancient, primal.

A shiver runs down my back.

He lifts his hand and then lets it fall again to his side, not knowing what to do. “I’m sorry...”

I ignore his words, wiping the tears from my eyes with my sleeve in an angry gesture. “Why are you here?” I ask. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere else? How did your date go?”

The corner of his mouth twitches. “I hoped you could tell me,” he replies tenderly and walks forward, capturing my lips in a passionate kiss.

I sigh, melting into his touch. He wraps his arms around my body, pulling it against his and a low moan rises in my throat. I tremble back against the wall and he’s the only support I have.

So strong... So much stronger than I would have imagined him to be... Till today I always thought of myself as the strong, very male character, but in Ioan’s arms I feel myself melt away like butter. Unfortunately my tears keeps flowing like nothing good, too.

Ioan flinches when he feels the wetness, pulling immediately away. “What’s wrong?” he asks, worry showing on his beautiful features.

A nervous smile spreads on my lips. Please no more hysterics! I’ve had enough of that for one day. “You shouldn’t be here,” I answer quietly, brushing too long strands of blonde hair from my eyes. “Why are you here?” Now I look up and stare directly into his beautiful eyes I so love to get lost in.

“No, Sean,” Ioan looks sad now, he takes my hand into his. “I’m here, because I want to,” he breathes, looking deeply into my eyes. “I’m where I wanted to be all day.” Hot breath caresses my skin as Ioan leans closer and his lips brush over mine.

“But...” I stammer. “I thought you were...”

Ioan silences my words with a kiss. “Stupid,” he moans. “It’s you...”

And finally I understand.


Finis.


Please be so kind and tell me what you think of it! Love a lot!