The gender thing

Disclaimer: Not mine, not true, all made up!!
Notes: Inspired by the following quote by Dom Monaghan himself:
“We (Dom and Billy) spend so much time together. We enjoy each other’s company. We’re constantly walking up and down the red carpet with an arm around each other and chatting and all that kind of stuff. So the rumors are rife! (...) We do fit like a jigsaw. Still now, three or fours years down the line, we’ll manage to make each other crack up in tears of laughter...and fascinate each other, which is the perfect relationship. Maybe we get married in a couple of years! If he was a girl, I’d marry him today! I’ve been suggesting to Billy a sex change, but he really feels quite manly about things.” Billy: “I love women!” Dom: “Yes, he’s really passionate about women, as I am.”
Can’t tell why they don’t marry though... ;P


The gender thing


Dom’s POV

I think somewhere deep inside of me I’ve always known that this door exists. I just ignored it whenever I walked past it. It’s an old door, spiderwebs are hanging all over it. It creaked horribly when I pushed it open, just out of curiosity. The door should’ve stayed shut. I knew it the moment I saw what was hidden savely in the darkness of the room behind it. And now I can’t close it again, although I push with all my might.

Some things you just don’t do. Like fall in love with your best friend.

He’s male.

And I am straight.

My whole body is shaking, my eyes widened in fear as the door opens wider and wider and I’m frozen, unable to stop it. But it isn’t dark in the room as I thought before. Warm shining light wraps around me comfortingly, pressing down on me firmly. I am still fighting it with all of my being and the light is not comforting anymore, its weight now seems to crush me. The trembling becomes harder, my body is wracked by painful shocks.

I am scared by the warmth, more afraid than ever before in my life, but still I reach out for it, the craving for it already in my very blood.

Hesitantly I start to walk and finally enter the room, tears of despair finally rolling down my cheeks without me even realising it. The hard trembling is reduced to softer tremours and I sink down on the surprisingly warm floor, curling up into a tight ball of supressed emotions.

I’m in love.

There’s no denying it. Terribly and wonderfully in love with Billy Boyd, the one person I will not allow myself to be in love with.

I am by no means a homophobe or a narrow minded person, there’s nothing I hate more than that kind of thinking. Hell, most of my best friends are gay and it never bothered me. I am touching my - male- friends all the time, I may even kiss them if I feel like it, but I never go hoem with them afetrwards. Never ever in my life have I been disgusted by homosexuals. Being gay is just something I never could quite imagine for myself. Why miss out half of the world’s population? Just because they are male? Well, touching somebody else’s cock just doesn’t seem to feel right.

Not even Billy’s.

I adore women, their soft breasts and beautifully curved bodies. A smile from moist female lips makes my heart beat faster, makes me want to please her.

So does Billy’s smile.

I have never before met a person whose smile was so addicting, whose laughter was a sound more beautiful to my ears. Without ever realising I have always tried to make him laugh on purpose, just because I wanted my heart to make a happy jump once more. Whatever I do when he’s around, I do it to please him. I keep wearing some clothes just because Billy once mentioned he liked them on me.

A groan escapes my lips when my heart starts beating faster and faster at the thought of Billy and again tears sting in my eyes. My whole body is tingling now, the feeling reaching from my fingers to my toes. I hold my breath, biting my lower lip when I realise that my cock is slowly but steadily hardening in my pants. Arousal. I have felt it before but never that intense. My whole body is screaming for release, is yearning to be touched.

By Billy.

I know I should resist. But I am so tired. Too tired. I moan softly and embrace the thougth, deciding to give up fighting for now as I can’t think with my throbbing erection at hand. Experimentally I reach out and touch myself for the first time with Billy’s name upon my lips. And nothing has ever felt so right before. I imagine his hands and not mine are stroking me steadily to completion and I come harder than ever before in my life. The trembling and the tears are gone, but the tingling remains. And I don’t want to miss it ever again.

I am feeling tired now and I close my eyes, darkness covering me like a warm blanket as I finally fall asleep on the floor of the secret chamber I visited.

In the morning when I wake up I am lying in my bed, but there’s no doubt that I am really in love with Billy. I did not dream, although I wish it was so. The trembling and the tingling are still there and I feel more satiated than ever before as if I was still in the afetrglow of my orgasm after hours of sleep. Somehow I feel terribly alive, better and worse than ever before at the same time. Slowly I get out of bed and into the shower, trying to scrub it from my body with soap and water.

Doesn’t work. Yuk.

I dress myself, nearly moaning when the soft material of my clothes slides over my heated body, creating a delicate friction on my skin and I swear that my nipples are hard under my pullover when I leave the house, warm summer air filling my lungs. Where am I going? To Billy, of course. Where else.

He’s already waiting for me on the beach, I can see him from far away sitting on the white sand, staring into the blue sea ahead. Walking closer I examine him with my eyes, trying to look at him in a way different than before. Slim male body, white, in its mid thirties. No breasts, no female curves. Billy’s body still does nothing to me.

Relieved, I let myself fall down into the sand next to Billy. So I’m not gay. “Hi Bills,” I greet my friend and freeze when Billy turns his head into my direction, looking deeply into my eyes. I stare...and get hooked. 10 seconds pass...20...

“Dom?” Billy asks, smirking and I have the feeling as if a thousand of butterflies are doing the moonwalk in my stomach.

The trembling is back. “What?” I force the word out of my mouth.

“You seen a ghost?” Billy’s eyebrows curve in question. “You look so pale suddenly...”

I shiver at the sound of the Scottish lilt in Billy’s voice, my heart starting to beat faster and faster and I know I am lost. Lost in Billy. “Nothing,” I lie. “It’s nothing...”

~*~

Hours later Billy and I sit cuddled on Billy’s couch, eating raw chocolate cake mix as we couldn’t figure out how Billy’s oven works and share one drink afetr the other while we are watching a bad horrorfilm on TV.

“I wonder if we get married one day,” I mumble drunkenly before I take another sip of my beer. The thought had suddenly crossed my mind and I curse myself for thinking aloud.

Billy snorts in response and glances at me. “You’re drunk,” he says.

“No!” I sit up slightly and put my beer onto the table. “I mean, what we share is the perfect relationship!” I glare at Billy who is rolling his eyes. “Really! I mean you can make me crack up in laughter when all I want to do is cry, I enjoy your company and I can talk with you about anything.” I point at the bottles of beer on the table in front of us. “And we drink on the same level, that’s essential!” I add and now Billy has to laugh, too.

“That’s true,” he smiles amusedly, reaching out for the crisps on the table.

“The only problem is,” I continue, lowering my voice a little to sound more earnest. “The problem is that I’m straight and you are no woman... If you were a girl, I’d marry you today!” I say and Billy laughs at my joke, except that I’m not joking. “So you would have to go through a sex change...” I suggest, forcing myself to keep a light tone.

Billy snorts at that. “Yeah, get breats and a cunt and all that...” He shakes his head amusedly and then starts laughing his manic laughter I love so much. “You’re insane, Dom!” he giggles, opening a new bottle of beer. “Me going through a sex change... I love women!”

I nod slowly and turn to face the television again. All the butterflies in my stomach are sick at once. From now on I think there’ll always bea certain fluttering in my stomach whenever I see Billy, but the fact that I’m in love with my best friend will not change anything. The door simply remains opened.

Because he is still male.

And I am still straight.

Finis