Hold my hand.

Title: Hold my hand.
Author: Fishy (fishyz9@yahoo.com)
Pairing: Erestor/Glorfindel.
Rating: NC17.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: Un-beta’d, Slash, AU.
Summary: Glorfindel foolishly lets love pass him by, but he will risk his untried faith to have it again, and protect the one he loves.

Hold my hand.


He closed his eyes and licked his lips nervously as Glorfindel continued to kiss and gently nuzzle his neck whilst deftly unhooking the clasp to his shirt; pulling it free of where it had been tucked neatly into his leggings. He couldn't help but gasp when the shirt slid effortlessly off of his shoulders and onto the floor. Glorfindel wasted no time in working the laces to his leggings as still he stood statue like as he was undressed by another for the fist time.

"Undress me Erestor," was whispered gruffly into his ear, it was then that he realised that he was yet to participate in any way.

Shakily he raised his hands to the warriors own shirt and began to release the fine golden buttons. Apparently this was not fast enough for Glorfindel as the warrior impatiently shrugged the shirt off and then began to work on his own leggings. Looking down Erestor noticed with a deep blush that he was now completely naked; standing in a pool of his own clothing. His deep blush intensified however when he noticed that Glorfindel to, was bare. And aroused. Looking up to meet blue eyes he felt some small relief as Glorfindel smiled at him adoringly, Glorfindel would not hurt him.

Wordlessly Glorfindel took one step closer so as to press their bodies together. His hot with long repressed desire, and Erestor's trembling with anticipation and fear. Not fear from Glorfindel himself, but from what they were about to do. And in his case, what he was about to do for the first time.

Glorfindel swept him into a deep and probing kiss, growling deeply in his throat when Erestor whimpered into the kiss.

Erestor shyly ran his hands over the warriors muscular shoulders and arms as two large hands moved slowly down his slim back to cup and gently squeeze his behind. He knew Glorfindel had wanted to do that for a long time. They had been courting, or Glorfindel had been courting him now for a while now. At first Glorfindel of course had no idea as to how inexperienced Erestor actually was. The warrior had been used to his casual lovers; who had all been experienced, ready and willing to do whatever it was the blond had wanted. But it had been after their first shared evening walk in the gardens when Glorfindel had tried to kiss him that the warrior had learned that Erestor would not simply give him what was expected. And that there would be a long wait between them, before they would give into their hearts desires. He cringed now, just thinking of it.

~*~*~Flash back*~*~*~

"This is a lovely spot, why do we not tarry here a moment?"

"Aye, if you wish."

They stood now in a secluded spot, surrounded by beautiful flowers that had closed whilst the sun was away, beneath an ancient willow tree that stood tall and proud. When Erestor came to a stand still, Glorfindel took the opportunity to lean against the tree closer to Erestor, closer than the advisor felt comfortable with.

Erestor had been mostly quiet the whole evening, walking beside Glorfindel but at a safe and respectable distance. Nervously wringing his hands in the folds of his elegant and long sleeves. Glorfindel had mostly monopolised the conversation that night, where he would simply nod and smile shyly in reply. But now silence hung between them, obviously Glorfindel was determined to make Erestor speak.

"Glorfindel?"

"Yes?" The blond replied immediately with a pleased tone.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, ask me anything, anything at all."

"Why...why am I here?"

"What do you mean?" Glorfindel had asked with a trace of disappointment, to him, it sounded as if Erestor did not want to be there with him at all.

"I mean, why me? I do not understand why you have asked...I have seen you with others before."

"And?"

"And, they are nothing like me. They are all...all like you. Warriors, so very open and merry...nothing as I."

"Have you never heard of the saying 'opposites attract?''"

And without warning Glorfindel swooped down for a stolen kiss. Erestor had been taken by complete surprise and furrowed his brow whilst backing away, but found himself pinned to the bark of the tree. He had opened his mouth to protest but had not had the chance as a tongue delved into his inexperienced mouth. At the same time he had felt a hand snake down between their bodies to clutch harshly at his groin, rubbing and then attempting to find away beneath the robe and into his leggings.

"Glorfindel!" Erestor had cried out when managing to pull his lips free, desperately he pushed away the hand from his groin and looked at Glorfindel in disbelief and slight fear.

"What?" The warrior asked slightly amused and with half hooded eyes.

"What, what are you.."

"Do not play with me Erestor, you can not honestly stand there and tell me you do not want this." Again the warrior moved closer, pinning Erestor against the tree, not noticing the advisor’s fearful look.

"I have seen the way you look at me, as you have undoubtedly seen the way I look at you. Do not tell me that you have not fantasised of me taking you. For I have long dreamt of you writhing beneath me." Was huskily spoken into Erestor's ear.

Erestor had had enough, and with a great effort pushed the much larger elf away from him. He moved away from the tree and straightened his robes. Glorfindel however was confused, never had he been pushed away before. He had thought Erestor had wanted what he had, sex.

"What is wrong?" The blond near shouted, making Erestor jump slightly and back away further. "I thought you wanted this!"

"You thought wrong!" Erestor had tried to shout back; but sounded shaky and not as fearsome as he had hoped it would.

"Well, what are you doing here then? Why did you come?" He replied defensively, embarrassed at how the course of the evening had turned out.

"I...I thought that, perhaps you ..you..."

"What?!" Glorfindel had shouted, he regretted it a moment later when Erestor backed away in surprise, blinking rapidly with a look of shock and hurt on his fair face. The advisors mouth had opened and closed a few times before he was actually able to speak.

"I...I am sorry, I think I will retire now." He had stammered, a moment later he turned, and quickly left.

Glorfindel had began to walk after the quickly retreating form of the advisor, but then stopped; cursing as he ran a hand through his hair with frustration. What had just happened?

Erestor shakily closed his door behind him, and a moment later locked it. It was only now that he realised how ridiculous his hopes had been. He felt like nothing more than a young and foolish she elf, he should not of agreed to the walk, it had done nothing but tarnish his fantasies. It had not been romantic as he had hoped it would be. It had not been magical or even pleasant. Glorfindel had not even once asked him a question, he had simply babbled about anything; not even truly caring himself about what. Now, not only had his own fantasies and dreams been crushed, but he had made an absolute fool of himself, what would Glorfindel think of him now?

He sat on the edge of his bed; shoulders slouched and dreams extinguished. He wiped angrily at his eyes, he had been so excited to; taking extra care with his appearance that night, and smiling uncontrollably all day after receiving the unexpected invitation to join the warrior in a midnight stroll. Perhaps he could pretend it had not happened, and still dream of a more gentle, loving Glorfindel; romancing him and….caring for him.

~*~*~End flash back~*~*~

“The bed Erestor?” Was whispered into his ear. Nervously he nodded and allowed the imposing elf to lead him to and lay him down on the soft mattress.

He lay there feeling inadequate, and not knowing what to do with his hands. Though seeing his helplessness and floundering, Glorfindel again took charge and guided him. The blond laid beside him and began to softly run his hands over the lithe body beneath him as he kissed the advisor gently. Erestor sighed and soon enough, was mimicking the warrior’s actions. Glorfindel always made it better, always took charge ; unwilling to let any matter go by unnoticed. Erestor remembered another time, that despite the incredible awkwardness, that Glorfindel had again come to him, and had inevitably, brought about the beginnings of everything.

~*~*~Flash back~*~*~

Erestor glanced up at the doorway when hearing a shuffling of feet come from its direction. He immediately flushed and froze on the spot. Glorfindel stood there, looking uncertainly at him, but standing his ground non-the-less.

“Can I come in?”

Glorfindel had been unable to find rest that night. The image of Erestor so shocked and even fearful, ever playing in his mind and denying him reverie.

Erestor tried to answer, but his senses were to hazed by fearful anticipation, so he settled for nodding. Glorfindel let himself in, and to Erestor’s dismay, closed the door behind him. The warrior seated himself comfortably in a chair opposite the councilor’s desk, casually and with a sigh.

“W-what can I do for you?” Erestor managed after clearing his throat.

“Well, I wanted to speak with you of last night of course.”

Erestor swallowed and nodded before slowly taking his seat. He laid his hands in his lap, nervously he glanced up at Glorfindel and waited for what was to come, whatever it was.

“I am sorry” the blond began flatly. “I am sorry I over stepped my bounds,” he shrugged, “I misinterpreted your signals.”

“Signals?” Erestor asked with a frown.

“Oh don’t do that, do not try and blame this all on me. You gave me all the signals, the small smiles, the avoidable bump of the shoulders, you lead me on Erestor, do not deny it.”

“Lead you on?” Erestor asked with a small voice; utterly confused.

Just then Glorfindel stood from his seat and leaned forwards across the desk. Instinctively Erestor stood and moved away to one of his book shelves; trying to give the impression of passive and mild interest as he apparently ‘searched’ for a tomb of no particular kind. With a sigh the warrior followed, and leaned against the shelf as he regarded the advisor’s odd behaviour.

“You know, I may have gone to far to fast. But you gave the impression of wanting it. Now I am sorry for what I did,” he said as he held his hands up, “but I am not completely to blame.”

“I …really do not follow you,” Erestor answered as he flushed yet again, from merely being so close to the protagonist of his dreams.

“Erestor, I see the way you look at me, have been looking at me, I know you want me.”

Erestor’s lower lip trembled as he searched for something to say, anything!

“And I know what it is you want from me”

“You do?” Erestor whispered; fear and hope warring inside of him.

“Aye, and I am not adverse to a tumble in the hay…”

“A…a tumble in the hay?” Erestor asked, with his hopes, for the second time in as many days, completely dashed.

“Indeed, you are…” here he stepped closer and licked his bottom lip as he looked Erestor’s slender body over, “…..you are beautiful, very much so. As I said, I would of loved to see one of such fine quality, writhe beneath me…”

Erestor could only stare as his heart felt as if it were being crushed in a vice; stretched and compressed with every passing second. Yet, to his shame, he noted how his heart still hammered in his chest at being so close to Glorfindel.

“But you at the last moment change your mind, you lead me on and then act like some blushing maid on her wedding night!”

“I…I never meant to, to…”

“Oh no of course you didn’t,” he replied sarcastically, “I mean what did you expect?”

“I, I…Ahm…”

“No really, I would like to know. What had you expected to happen?” He asked as he stepped forwards and peered down at the petite elf.

“I don’t know! I…I had though perhaps…”

“Perhaps what? Really Erestor, I would like to know what it is you thought…”

“I though you would hold my hand!” Erestor blurted out, silencing the warrior before him.

“What?” Glorfindel asked gently after a long silence.

“I, I don’t know…” Erestor drifted off as he turned away from the warrior, embarrassed beyond any reckoning.

“You…you act as if you have never been faced with such a situation,” Glorfindel stepped forwards with a frown. When incredibly embarrassed dark brown eyes flickered up at him he raised his brow and probed further in a soft tone.

“No one has ever, asked for your company, intimately?”

“I have been asked!” Erestor was quick to rectify that wrong assumption, “I have just never….never accepted before.”

“Why did you say yes to me?” Glorfindel stepped closer, and asked again, when no reply was forthcoming. “Erestor?”

“You know…” Erestor began as he avoided the warrior’s eye line and ran his fingers along the edge of the book shelf, “..I have this one dream, where you….you twirl me in your arms, and you laugh at something I say, and, and….” he would of continued that way with his dreamy expression if Glorfindel had not interrupted him.

“Erestor?” Glorfindel asked tenderly, “do you have feelings for me?”

“I,…yes, I am sorry, I do” he whispered shakily.

Glorfindel closed his eyes and groaned, Erestor swallowed hard and again tried to turn away. He could not of felt worse at that moment, not after seeing the utterly put out expression on the warrior’s face, he felt like nothing more than a nuisance.

“Oh damn it, I am such a fool. I had no idea Erestor…Oh Valar I groped you!”

Despite himself Erestor managed to smile weakly, “I can pretend, if you can. I do not wish to make you feel…I don’t want you to feel you must avoid me or…”

“What are you getting at, Erestor?”

“If you can forget what I said to you, I can forget….or ignore, what it is I feel for you.”

“Perhaps…that would be best.” Glorfindel stepped away, and for the first time in longer than he could remember, felt utterly helpless.

Had he even been in such a situation? He had had his fare share….and many other elves fare share of lovers. Well, not lovers. Trysts, for none had been there to greet the morn with him. But that was how he liked it, that was all he had ever known. But certainly, none had ever wanted to do anything as cliché as hold his hand. He glanced then at Erestor, and frowned unconsciously at the almost stricken expression in those dark eyes. Sad, that was how Erestor looked, there was no other way to describe the base emotion that lay as heavily as stone across his usually floorless features. Though he tried valiantly to hide it, the disappointment was all to obvious as his chin trembled, even as he tried to smile.

“You don’t love me, do you?” Glorfindel inwardly groaned after speaking before thinking. And he watched as Erestor tried, tried to think of a lie, to let the warrior off easily, to make it easier for the both of them, a sinking feeling enveloped him, and he suddenly wanted to be no way where near Erestor. He waited for an answer, but did not need one, the silence was all to telling.

“I, I will try not to. I will ignore….”

“Well you had best ignore those feelings!” Glorfindel closed his eyes when Erestor flinched, and even choked back an ominous sound in his throat. Muffling it into nothing but a small sound of hurt that he was desperately trying to smother in the blond’s presence.

“Love, Erestor, is a word used all to often. I have seen friends, great warriors, and great minds, destroyed by love. Love is a weakness.”

Again Erestor flinched as the word was spat out. “Have you ever been in love?” He dared ask after finding his voice.

“Nay,” the warrior replied with a frown. “And I am thankful for it, I am content to love my friends, to love natures gifts and to love the stars and the dawning sun. I do not need more love.”

“Do you hate me now?” he whispered, and did not bother to hide his tears.

“Erestor,” he stepped closer, “I do not even know you. You are but someone who is…highly attractive, and that I had hoped to while away a night with.”

“That was all I was to be for you? A lay?”

“Yes.” Glorfindel admitted freely. “As I was meant to be for you.” Then he turned, “just forget about this, about what you ‘feel’ for me, it will pass,” and finally he made to leave.


“Glorfindel!” Erestor called out, and the warrior paused in the doorway, to look back at angry tears, and a painfully new and cold light that was now set in the advisor’s eyes. “You are lucky as you say, to not be afflicted by love. I will do as you say, and never love another.”

“That is your choice, I have only to look after my own heart.”

And he left.

~*~*~End flash back~*~*~


“Erestor? What is wrong?” Glorfindel whispered as he noted the tears in the dark elf’s eyes. He paused in his exploration of the precious body that housed the soul he so loved, and looked into the dark eyes that had only recently again become warm after their lengthy period of frost.

“I was, just remembering…”

“Please don’t,” Glorfindel pleaded, “I was foolish, to turn away the love you so innocently offered me. Do no go back to your distant ways, just… live in the moment with me now, because I am here, and I love you.”

“You love me,” Erestor breathed in reminder as he closed his eyes. When opening them again, they were warm, innocent and full of the adoration Glorfindel had so foolishly missed and overlooked all those years ago.

Glorfindel continued his exploration, his path of discovery, as his lips brushed soft skin, never before unveiled to him. He could not help but think back on how Erestor had changed in the past years, because of him.

~*~*~Flash back~*~*~


How long had it been now? Years, that was how long! So why could he still not rid his mind of Erestor? He spent so much of his energy as to not catch the advisor’s sad and icy gaze when in public or the councilor room, so why was it then, that when no others could see, he watched the dark elf’s every move? Why did he overanalyse every movement made by him, every word spoken by him? Was it guilt? No, at first maybe, but no longer. He was fascinated, that’s what it was, he still could not wrap his mind around what it was Erestor had wanted from him. Erestor had not wanted only his body; an empty capsule to spill his pleasure in. He had wanted more, and it had been the ‘more’ that had scared him. And now, after all this time, Glorfindel found himself obsessed over this one elf who had become so listless, so detached from others.

His eyes still followed his lithe fit little body, and he still fantasised about him, nothing had changed there. But now, now he caught himself trying to read the dark elf’s mind, he found himself watching his small pale hands as they delicately fiddled with the paper or quill they held; wondering if they felt as soft or delicate as they looked. He found himself, drawing small sketched of him, he found himself sighing his name in release, despite whomever may be sharing his bed at that moment. He found himself, dreaming of him. And the more obsessed he became, the more he resented Erestor for it.

He didn’t want this, he did not want to become a victim of the heart. But everything was becoming so hard. Food, had lost its taste, the sunrise no longer moved him, his bed partners were inadequate and infuriating in their imperfections. He felt trapped, he yearned, he craved, he needed. His palms would sweat when close to the advisor, he would fall silent, and if ever their eyes did meet, he would before thinking, glare. He would catch a brief flicker of something, as if he had just struck out at Erestor, and then his icy countenance would return and they would both look away. Compared to how he felt now, he would give anything to be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

He continued to tell himself that it was only a quick tangle of the bodies he wanted from him, a simple and common tryst, but the delusion was quickly wearing thin. How could he carry out the pretence of simple lust, when he dreamed of whispering words in the dead of the night into the shell of Erestor’s perfect ear. Only to see him smile and laugh, he could never make out what it was he whispered, but it always made Erestor look at him with such warmth that was now devoid of his flat gaze.

How could he continue to tell himself it was lust, when he replayed that fateful walk in the gardens over and over again in his mind. Only, differently. He would not simply babble until finding a suitable place to grope and fondle Erestor. No, in his dreams he would listen and smile as Erestor would tell him things about himself that no others knew. And then, he would pull the advisor into his arms and off of his feet, and twirl him around beneath the light of the moon. He would look on and smile as Erestor laughed, and stretched out his arms to the stars. And finally, he would walk the advisor back to his rooms, where Erestor would pull him into a soft and gentle kiss; before going their separate ways. That, out of all of his sordid fantasies of Erestor, was his favourite. And he realised that Erestor’s dream, damn him, had become his own.

When it all became to hard to bare, like now, when he needed whatever it was he needed so very badly that he would wake with tears in his eyes, he would seek out anothers cold and affectionateless embrace. That was what he was now, he scanned the hall, knowing he could have any he wished, but was searching for only one in particular. Gallian.

Gallian was a warrior he would often turn to, he felt no affection for him, as Gallian in return felt no real affection for him. But he would drive Erestor away from his thoughts for a few hours. He was large, muscular and extremely well endowed. They were physically, perfect matches. And at times like these, Gallian would be the only one who could possibly help him.

It was at times when the more helpless he felt over his situation with Erestor, the harder and rougher he needed to take or be taken. And Gallion, a fearce warrior on the battle ground, was even more so in the bedroom. Gallion pounded into his lovers, and had aquired tastes. It was only because he knew Gallion had a sound respect for him that the warrior would not go to far with him, would not dare cross any lines. And after dreaming of weaving flowers into Erestor’s hair the previous night, he needed Gallion to chase away any remaining residue of sweetness and longing of gentle touches.

He spotted his elf, and made his way across the hall, wordlessly seating himself next to the warrior who sat with a peculiarly smug expression and a glass of wine.

“Gallion” he greeted flatly.

“Glorfidnel” the warrior replied, his expression unchanged as he took another sip of his wine.

“If you have no other plans, my rooms, in one hour.”

“I am sorry my Captain, but I do. Perhaps tomorrow night?” He asked as he turned to Glorfindel with barely disguised lust, Glorfindel knew then that the warrior had quite a night planned ahead of him.

“Very well, can I ask what, or who you are doing later this eve?” Glorfindel raised a brow as the warrior grinned lecherously and bit his lip.

“You know of that dark councilor? The beauty?”

Glorfindel’s heart stopped.

“Erestor?” He breathed.

“Aye, that is it Erestor. Well, he approached me earlier this eve and….Ai, the things he whispered into my ear Glorfindel.”

“What, what did he say?” His hands shook with, with he knew not what.

“He practically begged me to ‘distract his aching heart by finding my pleasure in him.’ He spoke of the things he wished me to do to him, and oh, am I going to do them.”

“But, he…he…”

“Is the finest thing to walk Arda, Ai I can not wait to pound into that tight rear of his, I am going to make him scream Glorfindel, scream with pleasure.”

“But, I…you, you know he is untouched don’t you? He is untouched.”Glorfindel stated helplessly.

And that was how he felt, helpless. Helpless as the situation spiralled out of control, he had no claim over Erestor, and he had no right to object to the tryst. He knew what kind of elf Gallion was, and although he was brave and virtuous on the field, in the bed, in *his* bed, Erestor was not safe. Erestor didn’t know what it was he had set himself up for.

Taking a moment, he surprised himself some, as he realised that yes, he was ragingly jealous and protective at that moment. But mostly, he worried for Erestor. He could not bare the thought of his Erestor, who was so soft and gentle, being brutally used in such a way. He swallowed hard however, when seeing a fire flare within Gallion’s eyes.

“He is?” The warrior whispered huskily.

“Aye, so you could not possibly…”

“Thank you for the warning Glorfindel. Though I look forward to having him, I would not wish to hurt him. We will take care in preparing him before we take him.”

“We?” Glorfindel asked in a low voice.

Here Gallion grinned, and leaned over to speak quietly into his Captains ear.

“I have invited a couple of friends over, after I have him, so will they. And if he is as tight as I think he will be, I just may have him a few more times after that.”

Glorfindel seethed, he saw red, he could find no words as his fists clenched open and closed. Gallion, frowned at this, then smiled as an understanding seemed to dawn on him.

“You are welcome to join us, though I lay claim to his virginity you may have of him after me, if Erestor permits it himself of course.”

“What makes you so sure he will?” Glorfindel ground out between his teeth.

“You know I would send away my friends if he so wished it, I would never force another into what I have planned for him. But, I will have him in such an erotic frenzy that he will be begging for more, you know that as well as I do” he stated with a knowing smirk.

Indeed Glorfindel did know that, for Gallion had done so to him before. But he had never allowed one after another to take him, only Gallion. But Erestor…Erestor was, innocent, he wouldn’t know what to do. His sweet Erestor would be afraid, would they talk him into it? He knew first hand the power of a wicked tongue.

“Of course….” Gallion interrupted his panicked thoughts, “he did seem a little drunk when he approached me, so there is a slim chance he may not show. But I am optimistic that he will.”

“And why is that?”

“Because, any fool can see that his heart bleeds.”

“It does?” Glorfindel breathed.

“Aye, I know not why exactly, but he has either lost, or been denied what his heart yearns for. If I can ease his suffering, if but for one night and experience the tightest rear I’ve even sheathed myself in at the same time, then who am I to deny him in his need?”

Glorfindel fell silent, he could not argue with that. For he saw now that Erestor suffered as much as he, and was simply craving a way to alleviate the pain for a few hours as he had done an uncountable amount of times before. What was he to do?


~*~*~End flash back~*~*~


Erestor gasped as the warm and wet heat left his painfully hard length.

“Glor…I, I…”

“What, what is it sweet heart?”

“I, I don’t know” Erestor admitted with a bashful smile.

Glorfindel chuckled at Erestor’s adorable confusion. He knew that Erestor had never experienced pleasure such as this, and he knew that the advisor was placing bountiful trust in him to allow him such access to his body, and heart.

“I’m going to prepare you now, I will be as gentle as possible, but it will hurt a little, it always does your first time.”

“But you will make it better, I know you will.”

Glorfindel took a moment sigh, and thank the stars for this second chance.

“Aye, my sweetling. I will make it better, and then you will feel my love for you.”

He kissed the inside of Erestor’s thigh, and allowed his slick fingers to circle, and then gently enter the tight puckered entrance. He knew Erestor was trying to be brave, and not cry out. And he knew it was all for him to. But Erestor was tighter then he had anticipated, and knew that he was causing the smaller elf discomfort. It was when a small pained whimper escaped Erestor’s lips that he stilled his two fingers that probed deeply inside of him.

“Erestor, I can stop, really it is alright…”

“No, no please don’t…”

“I would give you my body, so that you can see the pleasure that can be had first before…”

“Glorfindel, no. I need you inside me, I need to know…need to know..”

“What?”

“That you love me as you say,” Erestor spoke up again before the warrior could protest at the doubt the advisor felt. “I know, I know you love me, but I need to, to *feel* it. Please don’t stop.”

“Alright, I’m going to use three fingers now my sweetness.”

Erestor nodded, and closed his eyes as three large digits slowly entered him. He bit his lip as they rotated inside of him, and finally let out a small cry as the digits pushed in past the knuckles.

“Glorfindel..” he rasped out and held out his arms, Glorfindel readily went into the outstretched and pleading embrace. He lay on his side wrapped his free arm around Erestor, whilst his other hand still lay between the advisor’s legs.

“Shh, I’m here. You want me to stop? I will stop…” his fingers slowly began to leave the body, but paused as Erestor desperately grasped his wrist.

“No!”

“I can not bare to hurt you Erestor,” he pleaded.

“’tis but a small amount of pain to bare in return for my greatest desire. Do not stop, I just, need you close.”

Biting his lip with worry Glorfindel slowly allowed his fingers to sheath themselves back into the tight and burning entrance. Gently he scissor them and stretched the velvety softness surrounding them, all whilst he kissed the advisor slowly.

Erestor felt more at ease and was able to accept the strange sensation in his lower body, now that he had Glorfindel close. He felt safe, as the warrior spoke loving words and endearments to him and nuzzled into his cheek and neck. Glorfindel would not hurt him, or let any harm come to him. Glorfindel, would always be there, to save him, just as he had before…


~*~*~Flash back~*~*~

Glorfindel rolled his shoulders back once again as he waited. He had been standing concealed, amongst the shadows in the hallway leading to Gallion’s rooms for some time now, yet there had been no sign of Erestor. However, just as he was beginning to hope that Erestor had simply been under the influence of wine when approaching Gallion, he heard the soft footfalls that he recognised all to well.

He sighed as he saw Erestor approach, but frowned also, it was plain to see the uncertainty in his stride. He watched, as Erestor wrung his hands, stopped, and shook his head, and then turned back around. Only to again pause, and turn back to Gallion’s room with a more purposeful stride. This went on for a few minutes, at one point Glorfindel had held his breath as Erestor had made his way to Gallion’s door and had even raised his hand to knock, before thankfully turning back around, and starting the pattern over.

Glorfindel watched and listened as Erestor seemingly began to speak to himself in what he thought to be a deserted hallway.

“He does not want you, he will never want you..” and again he headed towards Gallion’s door, but paused and turned again only a moment later. “But he will never want you if he finds out you are tarnished in such a way. He despises you enough already, wait for him, he, he might love you, in time…”

Glorfindel closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cool stone wall, he knew Erestor spoke of him, and it stung his heart that he was putting Erestor through such pain. Such unnecessary pain.

“No, no he will never want you, he will…never…” his voice broke, and dejectedly, he slumped his shoulders and covered his face with his hands.

Glorfindel; wearing a sorrowful expression left the shadows and hesitantly stepped towards Erestor, who was now leaning against the wall, sobbing quietly.

“Erestor”

Quickly Erestor lowered his hands and stared wide eyed at Glorfindel, a defiant expression crossed his hair face and his straightened his shoulders.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have come to stop you Erestor, to stop you from making a huge mistake. Do not go into that room Erestor.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because, you will not find what you seek, trust me, I know.”

“And what do you think it is I seek?”

“Comfort, you seek to forget the ache in your heart for a few hours. As I have done so over the past few years.”

“You are wrong, I do not seek comfort” Erestor tilted his chin up.

“Oh no? what is it then that you seek?”

Erestor stalked forwards, hiding his fear of what lay in that room awaiting him, and the pain in his heart caused by the one before him.

“I seek, heartless, and meaningless copulation. A lay, lusty sex. What you would have had from me. And I can handle it…”

“No, you can not..” Glorfindel stepped forwards and spoke in a low yet careful voice, not wanting to scare Erestor off or alert those that waited for the advisor only a few feet away.

“You really think me some mousy little librarian don’t you? Well you are wrong. I will have that elf in there moaning my name…” he hissed.

“Elves.” Glorfindel corrected.

“What?” Erestor asked shortly.

“There is more than one elf waiting for you in there. And each one of them…” he stepped closer, and spoke in a harsh whisper. “….each one of them, intend on riding your tight little untried rear, until you are too raw to move.”

“You…you lie! I do not know why you do this but you lie!”

Glorfindel grasped Erestor’s upper arms, seeing that he was about to bolt, and held him firmly until Erestor had no choice but to listen to his words.

“They will use you, ride you, one after another, over and over. They will bring you no comfort, they will not touch you gently as you deserve but roughly. They will use your very hair….” here he took a moment to stroke the silky darkness that was Erestor’s hair, “…they will use your precious hair as reins as they lay into you, again and again. They will manipulate your innocence with their sweet tongues. Letting you think that you can forget about me so as only to spill inside of you. That’s all they want from you Erestor, to come inside of you.”

A chocked cry left Erestor’s lips, as tears began to spill down his cheeks.

“Just like you..” he whispered.

Glorfindel faltered, aye, the elves that waited in that room, were no different from what he had been only a few years ago. He swallowed hard and lowered his head, when next he spoke there was a slight hitch in his voice.

“I wont let you do that to yourself, you’re coming with me” He tried to pull Erestor along with him, but the petite, and surprisingly strong elf resisted.

“No! I will not have your pity! Let them use me, all of them I do not care! If it will ease the pain in my heart for a few hours, then let them pass me around…I….I don’t care anymore, I don’t care about anything…”

Finally he dissolved, he crumbled before the warrior, weeping. He struggled weakly as Glorfindel hauled him into his arms; hooking one arm beneath his knees and another behind his back. But it was useless, he silently wept, only hiccupping every now and then as Glorfindel carried him through the deserted halls, to where he knew not.

He only opened his eyes when he felt himself being lowered onto a soft mattress, and saw Glorfindel‘s back as the blond was locking the door they had just come through. He felt something akin to panic as he realised he was in the warrior’s rooms, on the warrior’s bed. He took a shuddering breath as he watched Glorfindel turn back around, and after placing the key in a shirt pocket, head towards the bed, and him.

“W-what are you going to do?”

“Tuck you in.”

And with that, Erestor watched in confusion, as Glorfindel pulled his upper and exhausted limp body up, and pulled back the covers. Only to again gently hook his arms beneath his knees and lift them, so that he lay now on the bare mattress. The warrior stayed true to his word, and after pulling off the advisor’s house shoes, pulled the cover up and around him; tucking it around his sides.Erestor stared up at the warrior, waiting for something bad to happen. But Glorfindel simply stroked back his hair, ran a thumb over his red and dampened cheek, and leaned forwards to gently whisper to him.

“Rest now, I am here. I will guard your sleep, in the morning we will talk. Just know that, all will be well. Sleep for now my sweetness.” And with a kiss to his brow, Glorfindel left Erestor in the centre of the large bed, and sat himself in an arm chair opposite him, guarding him, as he said he would. To confused, and drained to fight or question the blond’s actions or words, Erestor gave in, and rested his Head upon the soft pillow. Allowing reverie to take him.

When he awoke, he felt briefly disorientated as he tried to figure why his ceiling was a different shade of blue. Then remembering what had happened last night, he glanced to he armchair opposite the bed, and sure enough Glorfindel sat there, unmoved. He watched as Glorfindel silently left his seat, for the first time in hours, and approached the bed; perching on the side as he gently stroked back mused black hair.

“You will stay here today, I will go now and see that your duties are taken care of. I will make sure Gallion does not seek you out, and you will rest your weary head and heart. Tonight, when I return, we will go for our walk in the gardens, and it will be how it should have been, the first time.”

He leaned down and gently touched his lips to Erestor’s.

“I know now that love is not a weakness,” he whispered, “and I am sorry it took me so long to see that. And I am sorry for the pain I have caused you. It has taken me far to long, to realise, and admit, that I love you too.”

“Love…me..” Erestor repeated dazedly.

“Aye, love…you.” He affirmed with teary smile and leaned their brows together. “I will spend the rest of my days, proving to you just how much, if you can ever forgive my late blooming common sense and heart.”

“I forgive you” Erestor whispered, and reached out to reverently touch the cheek of the dreamlike creature before him. He let out a small exhale of breath and dared to smile himself, when he felt soft skin beneath his finger tips. “You are real, this is real.”

“Aye,” Glorfindel whispered, and took the hand that touched him so hesitantly, and kissed the tips of those slim precious fingers. “I will be back, sleep now.”

Erestor had laid in that bed, feeling safe and warm. He soon drifted back to sleep, and caught up on all the nights spent lying awake and alone, when he should have been lost to reverie. When next he woke, it was when the matress dipped beside him. Glorfindel had returned.

They went on their walk, Erestor spoke of everything, every little detail of his life and past. And Glorfinel listened; asking him questions when the advisor paused to take breath. Glorfindel had laughed when hearing of some of the antics the surprisingly mischievous councilor had gotten up to in his younger days. And beneath the full glowing moon, he had taken Erestor by surprise, lifting him matter-of-factly into his strong arms. So that they were hooked behind his knees and Erestor’s hands rested on his shoulders. He twirled the dark haired elf around, making him giggle helplessly and clutch his shoulders for stability. And he felt tears, prick his eyes, when he watched Erestor with an endlessly joyous smile, reach with arms spread out, for the stars.

He had walked Erestor back to his own rooms, holding his hand. He had answered the advisor’s personal questions without preamble, whilst holding his hand. And after a sweet lingering kiss and a promise of another stroll through the gardens the next night, he had raised the hand he held to his lips, and kissed it; his lips lingering across the pale knuckles.

Every night for months to follow, they had followed this routine. Until finally, holding hands, had become arms around each others waists. Until dancing in the moonlight had become kissing in the moonlight. Untill a gentlemanly kiss upon the hand, had become a wordless beckon to the bed….


~*~*~End flashback~*~*~

“Are you ready Erestor? I can stretch you no more”

“Aye” he breathed, and watched as Glorfindel slicked his own length, and leaned above him.

“I will go slowly,” the warrior whispered, before breaching the untried entrance.

Erestor had closed his eyes, and held his breath as the hard heat entered his body, but he did not cry out. When Glorfindel stilled above him, completely inside of him, he opened his eyes, and smiled up at his lover. Giving a small nod to the warrior, he resisted the urge to hiss when the engorged rod inside of his began to slowly move, in and out, in, and out. He opened his eyes however when something inside of him was brushed. His vision was momentarily blinded and he, with a moan, arched onto the shaft that was retreating form his body.

Glorfindel paused and looked down at Erestor.

“There?” He panted.

“Oh yes” Ersetor breathed.

Watching Erestor’s every reactoin Glorfindel aimed his next gentle thrust at that exact same spot, and was rewarded as Erestor again bucked up, counter meeting his efforts. He finally relaxed, and allowed himself to enjoy the most blissful pleasure he had ever experienced in his up until now, worthless life.

And then suddenly, it came to him. The words. What he had always dreamed of whispering to Erestor, and that had made him smile so warmly in his dreams. The words he had never been able to remember or hear, came to him in a flood of desperate need to be told. And it seemed the most natural of things, as if the words had been there all along. They were owned by his lips, and belonged to Erestor’s perfect shell like ear, between those lips and that ear, those words, the mindless bable of love and confused passion, were between two homes. Where they had always meant to lay.

“…will always love you, keep you safe…protect you…keep you warm…love you always, forever…guard you, heal you…be yours, only yours….forever….forever.”

And there came the smile, the smile that could crumble worlds to ash and rubble, and remake them whole and new in a heartbeat. The single smile, that repeated his jumbled vows, the smile that told him everything he would ever need to know.

He bagan to groan and pant wildly as he thrust at the leisurely pace into Erestor, chanting his name again and again.

“Glorfindel….oh Glorfindel…” Ersetor moaned helplessly as his head lolled from side to side.

He had never felt anything so perfect as this union, as the feel of Erestor’s legs wrapped tightly around his waist, as the feel of Erestor’s warm breath brushed against his neck. And was almost saddened when feeling his climax rapidly approach.

“Glorfindel please….hold my hand,” Erestor begged.

And he knew then that Erestor to, was close. He grasped the delirious elf’s hands, and laid them either side of Erestor’s head; their fingers entwined.

Glorfindel cried out helplessly, though all the while controlled his careful and not to forceful thrusts.

“Oh Glorfindel!” With his mouth open in shock Ersetor bucked and splashed his hot seed between them.

Glorfindel, closed his eyes tightly; a tear squeezing its way out of the corner of his eye as he came with a loud and gruff cry of Erestor’s name. His come splashed violently against Erestor’s insides, making the advisor gasp and whimper in pleasure. Utterly spent, he reluctantly, and with the last ounce of energy he retained, gently pulled out of Erestor. He collapsed onto his side, and pulled Eestor close.

“Worth it, worth it, worth it…” Erestor continued to gasp into the warrior’s neck as he was held close, to keep from falling in his to intense to orgasmic oblivion that Glorfindel had created for him.

They stayed that way untill dawn, whispering soft words into the shell of each others ear, and earning soft sighs and delightfully warm loving smiled in return. And all the while, their fingers remained entwined.

The End.