Breadcrumbs and Broomsticks

Breadcrumb Challenge: Breadcrumbs and Broomsticks
Author: Foofy
Rating: NC17
Challenger: KMazzy
Summary: Karl answers a plea for help, and decides to assist Sean and Dave in their voyage of discovery.
*
Original challenge: S phones K in a drunken panic after getting a beer bottle stuck up D's butt. K proceeds to demonstrate on all and sundry what are good items for sticking into butts. The following should feature: a slippery floor, pink underwear, an action man, seventeen bruises and hangovers for all.
*

It was half one in the morning. Half one. And the damn phone was ringing endlessly, as though some bastard was simply trying to annoy him. Every time the answer phone kicked in, it stopped, waited for the message to run, then rang again.

Karl was getting to the stage where he was about to kill someone. ANYONE.

Finally he seized hold of the phone and all but ripped it from the holder.

“ What?” he snarled.

“ Karl?” there was obvious surprise on the other end at the sheer anger that was being directed at him. “ You okay?”

“ No, Sean, I’m not okay. I have just had to put up with some tosser - and that’s you just in case you didn’t notice - ring me constantly at half one in the fucking morning. Now, someone better be dying otherwise you are seriously dead next time I see you,” Karl slumped into a chair which was next to the phone and sighed heavily. “ What the fuck do you want?”

There was a pause. “ Well, it’s kinda… delicate,”

“ Delicate?” Karl echoed. “ You phone me at this time of night with delicate news. Brilliant,”

“ I wouldn’t say it’s news as such,” Sean was definitely edgy, as well as faintly slurring his words. “ More.. I’m after some advice. David said you were probably the best one to ask,”

Karl sighed again. David Wenham, Karl’s ex and Sean’s current partner, always had high expectations of what Karl could actually do, often mistaking previous acts of sheer luck with actual judgement.

“ Does he? And what’s the problem,” Karl had already decided this was probably going to be one of those times when it was better to assist and get it over with that have the damn thing hanging over him for the rest of the week. Sean hesitated again.

“ Well, we were kind of ... experimenting, and we hit a problem.”

“ Experimenting,” repeated Karl slowly. There was a noise of confirmation on the other end. Karl settled himself even better in his chair and raised an eyebrow, mostly for his own benefit. “ And what experiment were you doing, Sean?”

A pause filled with sheer embarrassment suddenly raced through the phone. Karl waited patiently, filling a moment with a wide yawn. Sean was new to the bisexual market, and there were still a lot of things he wasn’t sure about. This was probably going to be something about rimming. Or possibly they had used too much of a lubricant which in fact wasn’t designed for the use they had put it to. Or even they had misplaced the handcuff keys, which was a surprisingly common occurrence with David.

“ Sean?” Karl pressed. “ I’d really like to go to bed, you know,”

“ Dave’s got a bottle shoved up his arse and I can’t get it out again,” The words when they came were all in a rush, as though it wouldn’t be half as embarrassing should it be forced through quickly. Karl paused, trying to assess this information. Finally he shook his head and leant forward in his chair.

“ Sorry? You’ve shoved *what* up David?” he was unable to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice. He could already imagine what colour Sean’s face would be turning on the other side of the phone.

“ A bottle,”

“ Glass or plastic?”

“ Plastic,” There was another pause. “ One of those small coke bottles with the ridges,”

Karl shook his head slowly. On the plus side it wasn’t the glass ones. He’d read about the few occasions where the unfortunate man had clenched so tightly with his muscles that a weakened bottle had smashed inside him. Mind you he would probably be hearing a hell of a lot more urgency in Sean’s voice and possibly the art of screaming in the background should this have happened.

“ I assume you’ve tried to pull it out,”

“ I’m not that thick, Karl. It hurts him trying to get the thing out, and I don’t want to pull harder than necessary,” There was a pause. “ Don’t suppose you’d mind if you could come over and-”

“ It’s half one in the morning, Sean!” protested Karl, although knowing in his heart he was going to be over there in less than half an hour.

“ Yes, I know the time, Karl,” Sean was beginning to get impatient. “ Look, I wouldn’t be calling if I thought this was easy, okay?” There was another pause. “ We’d make it up to you,”

“ Oh yes? And how will you be doing that, Sean?” Karl was fascinated despite himself. Sean wasn’t one of those people who appreciated a mixture of partners, still green enough to require a little more privacy than usual. This was probably the reason for the bottle itself; Sean didn’t seem the man to happily wander into one of the sex stores and buy something machine designed for the purpose. When you bought a coke bottle, people still assumed you wanted to drink the contents rather than stick the bottle up your partner’s rear. Traditionalists that they were.

Sure enough, there was another long pause. “ Well, it’s up to you,” Sean said finally. “ Whatever you prefer.”

Oh, it was too hard to resist. “ And if I wanted something more than just you buying me a drink?” Karl purred, knowing he was being evil and failing to stop himself.

“ Well… yeah… if you wanted to get a little more… personal, I guess that would be okay,” the embarrassment was almost painful.

Karl grinned to himself.

“ In which case,” he said calmly. “ I think we might have a deal,”

*

Dave wasn’t looking too happy to see him, but Karl thought this was probably reasonable enough. It had taken him most of the journey over to the flat to work out how not to start sniggering as soon as he stepped through the door, which at least was proving its worth. Sean was looking shifty, as though expecting to be criticized as soon as Karl had gazed upon the current problem that was Dave.

Well, it wasn’t too bad at least. Karl put his bag on the floor and knelt by the bed. Sean hovered nearby like an expectant father who knew damn well he was only going to get in the way. The smell of alcohol was strong in the air. Sean wasn’t quite falling over, but he wasn’t quite standing straight either.

“ Got any more lube?” Karl asked matter of factly. Sean looked momentarily baffled.

” Bathroom cabinet, second shelf,” came Dave’s muffled response. Sean nodded and disappeared on the quest for slippery goodness. Karl took the opportunity to grin at Dave, who was watching him with a wary expression.

” Okay, get on with it,” he groaned.

“ On with it?” Karl moved the blanket back a little bit to clear his work space. “ Give me some time, Dave. Just got here. Can’t just yank and go,”

“ Not that. The smirking. The told you so. The taunts. *That* part,” Dave had obviously been thinking about this. Karl looked a little astonished.

“ Hey Dave, whatever you get up to with your partner in your own home isn’t anything to do with me, okay?” he put his hand on the rise of Dave’s buttocks, the man shifted uncomfortably as he did so. Karl stopped his movements immediately. “ Anyway, I don’t gloat,”

” Bollocks,” responded David with feeling. “ You are a master gloater. You’ve always wanted Sean to fail,”

“ I have not!” Karl was stung by the accusation. “ I *like* Sean, for fuck’s sake! Stop being so paranoid!”

“ Paranoid?” Dave was incredulous.

“ Paranoid!” repeated Karl heatedly.

“ Am I interrupting?” Sean had returned brandishing a tube of lubrication cream and a cautious expression. “ What’s going on?”

“ Nothing,” they accidentally managed to chorus. Dave scowled into his pillow. Karl busied himself with the bag and held his hand out for the tube. After a pause, Sean passed it to him.

“ Fine. Don’t tell me,” Sean grumbled. Even Karl could hear the hurt in his voice. The blonde walked to the nearby chair and sat down, watching the bed with an expression that suggested that he was a 10 year old who hadn’t been chosen for the football team. Karl sighed.

” Dave seems to think I would find amusement in this. I don’t, incidentally,” Karl smeared almost the majority of the tube onto his hands and shifted his position to be able to apply it. Despite having some warmth from his hands, Dave still yelped as cold cream smeared itself over warm flesh and sensitive private areas. Sean was swift to sit up a little straighter. In his current state, this almost meant he fell off the chair.

“ Dave? You okay?” his voice was anxious.

” He’s fine. He’s just being a wimp,” came Karl’s contribution.

“ Fuck you, Urban,” growled Dave, shifting on the bed. “ That was fucking *cold*,”

“ Isn’t love hard?” agreed Karl cheerfully, and continued to smear. Wiping his fingers briefly on the bedding that was in serious need of a change anyway, Karl carefully took hold of the bottle. With a hand in the small of Dave’s back, he carefully started to pull it out with a series of slow twists, almost rocking the bottle out of its current home. Each whimper Dave made caused a further pause to be inserted; at another yelp and even more lubrication was added to the mix, Karl’s heart thudding in his chest at the startling noise. Dave was obviously attempting to give him a heart attack.

There wasn’t a ‘pop!’ noise when the bottle did finally pull free, but there was a gasp of relief from David which was almost as good. Karl grinned, moving off his knees to head towards the kitchen and the nearest bin, noticing that Sean had taken his place almost immediately. When he emerged, they were engaged in an embrace that was broken off as soon as Karl appeared back into the room.

Sean stood back up, a sheepish expression on his face.

“ Cheers, Karl,” the man was obviously resisting the urge to shuffle his feet. “ Sorry you had to come over so late.”

“ That’s okay. I had to get up anyway. The phone was ringing endlessly,” Karl had developed his tone to a drawl. Sean flushed slightly, and looked at Dave who was currently giving Karl an evil look.

“ Leave him alone, Karl. He was worried,” David was obviously defensive about Sean, as though their ages were reversed. Karl shrugged and moved to sit down on the bed again, David having to move his feet out the way.

“ Well, in that case perhaps he would like a teacher?” His voice was still casual but the other two reacted as though he had shouted it. Sean stared at him, then stared at David as though expecting the Australian to confess to speaking about their love life to Karl on a constant basis. Dave was just looking stunned.

“ Teacher?” Sean echoed. “ Look, it was one mistake and it isn’t happening again, I swear!” The embarrassment was only too clear in the Brit’s voice.

“ What exactly are you suggesting here, Karl?” Dave wasn’t much better. Karl shrugged again and opened the bag, Sean’s next words dying in his throat as one of the largest dildos Karl had found was carefully placed on the bed. It was big and smooth. It was also, for no apparent reason, bright green.

Two shocked pairs of eyes rose to settle on Karl’s casual expression. Karl waited a few moments before speaking.

“ Well, while I was here I thought you might like me to .. well, give a few tips,” he gave them a cheerful, friendly smile which was completely missed by the audience. Dave was looking at him as though Karl was about to break out a machine gun and kill them all. Sean’s eyes had returned to the green dildo in shocked fascination.

” Please tell me you’ve never used that thing,” Sean’s voice was cracked.

” Well, it wasn’t on me, certainly,” came David’s response. “ You have that huge bag for *that*?”

“ Not exactly,” Karl smiled at him again. Dave’s suspicion radar started to beep again. Blue eyes fell on the bag as though expecting something incredibly nasty to make an appearance. Dave was, in fact, far too paranoid. This was proved by the fact he almost hit the ceiling at Karl’s touch on his blanketed leg.

Karl sighed and released him. “ You can calm down now. I’m not about to roll you over and stick this up you,” he said reproachfully. Suddenly the paranoia passed to Sean, who was looking extremely uncomfortable.

“ Then why is it here?” he asked, sitting back on the edge of the bed next to David. It was an almost literal action of saving your own arse, there. Karl sighed and shook his head.

” For a pair who have just explored the joys of one of the coke manufacturer’s products in their sex life, you two aren’t that experimental, are you?” A few more toys were taken out the bag. By the expression on Sean’s face, Karl wasn’t entirely sure the blonde wasn’t about to faint. However, after a moment, the green eyes rose again with a little more feistiness than before.

” This is your repayment suggestion?” he asked.

Karl paused. “ Well, it hadn’t been, but it’s an idea isn’t it?” he commented after a while. Sean was lucky not to get bruised for that little suggestion; the look that Dave shot at him was distinctly evil. Karl grinned and lounged back on the bed.

“ How long have you two been drinking?” he asked idly. Sean gave Dave a quick glance as though to check approval for speaking, then looked back at Karl.

“ Not that long,” he said cautiously. “ There’s still plenty out in the kitchen. Just some beer. Why, did you want some?”

Karl considered it thoughtfully, his eyes resting on Dave. “ Yeah, why not,” he said finally and with a grin that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a wolf spying a field of sheep. “ You two have a sofa bed I can use, don’t you?”

“ Sure- OW!” Sean looked back at Dave sulkily, rubbing his arm. Well, it was unlikely Sean was going to get out of this with some bruises, anyway. Karl grinned again, and got off the bed, sauntering towards the doorway. He paused and glanced back at the other two, Sean still rubbing his arm as though it would ward off any future Dave attacks.

“ Sean,” Karl grinned as the blonde forgot to look sulky at Dave and looked up at him in surprise, obviously having expected Karl to have vanished already. “ do you know that you’d look really cute in lace knickers?”

Sean’s hand froze. Green eyes stared at him incredulously at the suggestion of women’s underwear turning up in their sex life. Karl looked at him critically.

“ Pink ones, I think,” he said thoughtfully, and then disappeared off to the kitchen, leaving a very paranoid Sean in his wake.

*

Beer was plentiful in the kitchen. However, Karl wasn’t in the mood for beer. He had managed to get through his fifth cupboard on the search for something a little harder when he was alerted to an apologetic and half drunken Sean by the doorway. The older man glanced down the corridor, then back at Karl. It was the type of urgent expression you’d expect to see on Lassie when a boy had fallen down the well.

“ What are you looking for?” Obviously this wasn’t what Sean had come out here to say but on the plus side it was beneficial.

“ Whisky. Or vodka. Or anything spirit based to be honest,” Karl eyed him. “ What’s the matter? You look … flushed,”

“ Yeah, well, that bag of yours will do that to people,” muttered Sean. “ Top cupboard, to your far left,”

Karl opened the cupboard door and relieved it of the half full bottle of Jack Daniels. He looked back at Sean who was still looking a little flushed and a little sick. Hmmmm. No further drink for him.

“ So you looked?” he asked idly.

” I looked. You’re a sick fucker, you know that?” Sean shook his head in bewilderment. “ I mean you have an *Action Man* in there, for chrissakes.”

“ I think he’s a GI Joe, actually,” Karl paused to think. “ but yeah, I do. Want to know what for?”

” *NO!!!*” Sean looked even more startled than Bambi’s mum would have looked faced with a load of hunters.

“ Okay,” Karl shrugged and investigated more cupboards for some glasses. Sighing, Sean stepped further through the doorway and obtained a glass from the correct cupboard, taking the bottle from Karl and beginning to pour it.

Karl watched him thoughtfully.

” So, I take it you’re not up for the lacy undies then?” he asked casually and then jerked backwards as Sean’s hand suddenly jumped at the image, baptising the kitchen floor with whisky. Karl shook his head, carefully avoided the slippery patch on the floor and relieved Sean of the bottle. Sean was looking miserable.

“ Karl,” he started, then stopped again. Karl raised an eyebrow and took hold of the glass, topping up the drink and putting the bottle a safe distance away from the edge of the counter.

” Yeah?” Karl made his way to the freezer. “ You mind if I grab some ice, incidentally?”

“ What? No. Sure…,” Sean thought about this and stared back at him suspiciously. “ On the condition it *is* for your drink,”

Karl grinned to himself as he opened the fridge door. “ You have me down as some huge pervert, don’t you Sean?”

“ You’re the one with the pink underwear and the Action Man doll!” protested Sean. “ Not to mention half a dozen plastic toys of some description or another. And that’s what I’ve come out here to ask you,” The blonde cast his gaze around the kitchen as though trying to find something to focus on, before grudgingly coming back to Karl who was popping a few ice cubes into his drink. “ I’m the one who agreed the payment, and therefore if you want to do any of … *that*… do it to me. Not Dave. It’s not his fault,” Anxious green eyes looked at him.

Karl casually sipped the whisky and considered the matter thoughtfully.

“ Hmmmm,” he said finally. Obviously Sean was hoping for something a little better than hmmmmm as he drifted between looking angry then nervous then anxious then back to angry.

“ Hmmmmm?” he echoed. “ *Please* Karl! I’m begging you,”

“ Pink underwear?” asked Karl softly. Their gazes met. Finally stubborn green eyes were the first to fall.

“ Fine,” he growled. “ Just leave Dave out of this,”

“ Well, I can’t exactly do that can I. It’s his bed,” Karl said patiently, and suddenly had to grab hold of Sean’s arm as the blonde stormed forward, slipped in the split whisky and almost ended up on the floor. As it was, his hip thudded into the side cupboard with a hefty slam. “ For fuck’s sake, Sean, watch out!” Karl was rattled. “ You break something Dave’ll kill me, not to mention Peter and the others on set,”

Apparently it had shocked Sean just as much, as the anger had obviously disappeared.

“ How about bruises?” he groaned. Karl shrugged, eyed Sean and decided he was probably safe, and released his arm again.

“ Bruises are okay. Just no more than… seventeen, right?”

“ Why seventeen?” Sean’s suspicion was making a return. Karl grinned and shrugged.

“ It’s a nice number. Now, out you go,” he gave a gentle push to Sean’s shoulder towards the right direction. Sean looked at him a little harder.

” Dave?” he queried. Karl sighed.

” Okay. I won’t use any of the toys on Dave unless he requests it. Happy?” Karl took another sip of his whisky and watched the indecision cross Sean’s face. Finally the older man nodded, although a little more reluctantly, and turn to walk back towards the bedroom. Karl seized hold of the bottle of the whisky by the neck, and prowled after him.

*

“ No,”

“ No?”

“ No,” Sean shook his head. “ I feel like an absolute idiot,”

The other two were watching him from their positions on the bed. Sean was a beautiful golden colour, apart from the flush to his face. The pink lace underwear was actually a good fit on him, a delicate contrast against the hard, lean muscles of the man’s body. However, Sean really wasn’t in the mood to hear this by the expression on his face. Anyone would have thought they had threatened to castrate him.

David leant forward, his eyes fixed on his lover.

“ I dunno. I think it does actually suit you,” he mused.

“ You take that back otherwise we’re through,” Sean folded his arms and went into sheer sulk mode. Karl grinned and poured some more whisky, which he and Dave had been sharing.

“ You look cute, Sean,”

“ What am I, a bunny?” Sean scowled. “ And why aren’t I getting any of that drink?”

Karl grinned and sipped from the glass. “ Because you’d only fall over. Time for lesson two?” he passed the glass to David. Sean watched them suspiciously.

” Lesson two?” he echoed. “ If that doll makes an appearance I am out of that door, lace undies or no,”

There was a patient sigh from Karl, who simply leaned over the bed and obtained the bag. David, who had managed to enter the world of Quite Pissed Indeed, watched him indulgently as he fished out a few items. Sean’s skin tone managed to get paler. Any more of this and he was going to be mistaken for Casper the friendly ghost.

” What,” he managed. “ is that?”

Karl whirled the toy in his hand.

“ This,” he said. “ is apparently the ultimate anal experience,”

“ You have to be fucking kidding me. That is not going anywhere near my arse, trust me on this,” Sean looked from the toy, which was what appeared to be a quite solid stick with 3 balls placed strategically along it. One of the balls was glittering. The other two looked like they were solid metal. “ That looks like it’s half a metre long!”

“ It’s twenty centimetres. Stop being a drama queen,” Karl rolled his eyes.

” I repeat –* fuck off!*” Sean had a slightly wild look in his eyes. David leant closer to Karl.

” He’s not that experienced yet,” he murmured. “ Something a little smaller and a little less solid, perhaps? And pass me that bottle,”

Sean took a step backwards as the whisky bottle was picked up by Karl. Karl looked a little baffled, then glanced at the bottle in his hands. A glimmer of understanding twinkled in Karl’s eyes.

“ I’m not going to shove a Jack Daniels bottle up your backside, Sean,” he said patiently. “ I’ve got better things to be doing with it. Besides which,” the bottle was passed to Dave and the hand swiftly dived back into the bag. “ I was planning to do things with these,”

‘These’ turned out to be a string of anal jelly beads, again brightly coloured in green. Sean looked slightly less panicked, but not entirely calm, eying the toy in Karl’s hand like it was a snake about to bite him.

“ And that’s supposed to be pleasurable is it?” he asked suspiciously.

“ Yep. Deep penetrative pleasure. And they enhance orgasm when you remove them at the point of ejaculation as well,” Karl was full of handy hints. Sean worked this one out in his mind.

” So, what? I yank them out when I come?” There was a distinct look of disbelief on Sean’s face. Karl shrugged.

” Or someone else can. Swift tug and there you go. Want to try?”

“ Do I get a choice?” Sean looked like he was happier with more ladies underwear than further exploration into Things That Fit Up Your Back Passage.

” If the answer is ‘yes’, then of course you get a choice,” Karl smiled at him. “ Payment, remember?”

“ Come on, Sean. You can do it,” David had taken two large mouthfuls of whisky directly from the bottle and was lounging even lower on the bed. There was a sleepy innocent grin on his face that suggested that the alcohol had gone straight to the brain. “ For me. I allowed you to poke that bottle up me, didn’t I?”

” Yes, but…,” the blonde looked from Karl to David then sighed heavily. “ Give me the whisky bottle,”

“ You’ve had enough,” Karl shook his head. Sean looked outraged, probably because he was.

“ I’ve had enough?! You two are all but falling over and you’re on *the fucking bed*!” Sean looked at David for support. A puppy dog element entered his eyes. “ Please, give me the bottle!”

Dave hesitated in the face of such pleading. Karl shook his head.

“ No,” his tone was decisive.

“ Well, fuck you then. I’ll go to the kitchen and get some more,” Sean moved towards the doorway. Karl sat up straighter and almost dislodged himself.

” No you fucking well won’t, Sean!”

“ WOULD THE PAIR OF YOU STOP FUCKING SWEARING!!” snapped David. The other two stopped and stared at him. Regaining his humour, Dave smiled at them innocently, borrowed the glass and began pouring. “ One glass, Sean. That’s it,”

“ What? But-“

“* ONE GLASS,*” David apparently had had training in using the scary voice. Sean hesitated, grumbled, and took the glass which was offered to him. It was drained in one gulp. Karl sighed and slid off the bed, gesturing to it with a hand.

“Hands and knees, Sean,” Karl wobbled a bit in standing, but his stare didn’t wobble at all. Sean glared at him, the mutters unsaid but still present.

” Can I get rid of the knickers yet?” he asked finally. There was a noise of disappointment from Dave at this. Karl grinned.

“ I guess. But they go back on afterwards,”

“ Fuc-,” Sean caught Dave’s glare and stopped himself in time. “ Drat,” he offered. David grinned at him, and watched as Sean reluctantly got onto the bed, resting on his hands and knees and staring grimly over his shoulder. Karl had dug a pot out of his bag and was busy scooping cream out of it, running the lubrication all over the toy and smearing his hand. Sean watched suspiciously.

Karl paused as Sean tensed when a hand was on his backside.

“ You’re going to have to relax a little more, Sean,” he said, tracing a finger across the blonde’s opening. Sean shivered.

“ I’m here. That’s the best you’re getting, mate,” he growled. David sighed and gave Sean’s hip a push.

” Look, Karl can do me instead, okay?” he offered. Sean’s head shot up.

” No! You can’t!”

“ What? Why not?” David was honestly baffled by this, and tried to focus his memories. “ Was I banned?”

” Because it’s not your fault he had to come over, and it’s my payment, and therefore you can’t pay for my mistake, okay?” Sean glared over his shoulder at Karl again. “ Come on you bastard, shove it in!”

David’s expression set. “ Excuse me? Who’s the more experienced here? If I don’t get to do something, it’s because *I* decided I’m not doing it. Keep this up, Sean, and I’m going to insist he uses that large metal one he has in the bag on you instead of the small jelly ones,”

Sean glanced back at him uncertainly. Dave purred at him and petted his head. Well, that was the plan anyway. What with the over balancing and the sudden shifts in weight and the blanket slipping off, what position they actually ended up with was another matter entirely. Dave recovered and glanced over at Karl.

“ Come on then!” it was the voice of a commander. Sean, who had sunk back onto the bed, grumbled something. Karl grinned.

“ Sean, you could put that mouth of yours to work you know,” he hinted. Sean looked at him baffled. Karl sighed inwardly. Obviously hints might need big bold lettering as well.

“ Dave, kneel. Sean, suck him off. Clear?” Hey, words of one syllable too. Dave had a sleepy grin on his face about this, and Sean didn’t look too bothered about protesting either. When the pair had found positions they were happy with, Karl slowly added the beads. Dave hissed a bit at the start which was a little surprising, but then Karl remembered about the bottle which had previously explored these depths. Ah, happy times.

Dave fidgeted slightly as the beads were inserted.

“ This isn’t normal lube is it?” he asked slowly. Karl grinned in the privacy of the rear, deciding not to comment on the special ingredient of cinnamon. However, Dave’s attention was soon diverted by Sean’s mouth on his cock, accompanied by a few slurps which suggested Sean was putting his full effort into it. The light moans that Dave was giving went straight to Karl’s groin. David was shifting, his head tilted back, his moans progressing to groans, which swiftly progressed to whimpers and sobs. Sean obviously knew what he was doing with the whole blow job situation.

After a minute or so, Karl could see the tension in Dave’s body, see the slight tremble in his shoulders which were oh so familiar. He grinned, and took hold of the string, his other hand tracing a pattern down the man’s back. Dave’s panting was soon the most important noise in the room; both of the other men were attuned to it, focused solidly on the man’s pleasure. Finally Dave’s back arched.

“ Now!” he hissed, and Karl was swift to obey, removing the beads as quickly as he could. The desperate cry that accompanied Dave’s orgasm managed to fill the room, and probably make them on the hit list for their neighbours. Sean drank down every drop and moved to sit up; Karl took his opportunity. Pushing Dave forwards, Karl carefully slid into the man, feeling Dave’s relaxed muscles allow him entry without any worries whatsoever apart from the initial push. Dave groaned again, and moved into a better position for Karl to move.

Hazel eyes met steady green ones over Dave’s shoulder. Sean was not a happy bunny.

“ That wasn’t part of the deal,” he hissed.

Dave moved back onto Karl’s length and moaned, rotating his hips. Sean’s fierceness softened a little at the sight of his lover obviously not objecting to this new situation, but not all of it went. Karl didn’t bother to answer him. That would, after all, require oxygen, and Karl needed all the oxygen that he possessed.

“ Karl, I’m warning you-“ Sean’s warning died on his lips. A hazy, unfocused look crossed into his eyes as Dave ran his tongue over Sean’s erection and flickered it over the head of his cock. The warning turned into a gasp as his length was taken as far as Dave could take it in his mouth.

Karl patiently waited for a few moments, but it was clear that Sean’s attention was completely distracted. Which was just as well, really. Karl didn’t think he had long to wait, and by the way Dave’s muscles were clenching around him it was clear that the Australian really wasn’t in the mood for taking the long way round either.

Damn. Should have put the nipple clips on him, thought Karl through a haze. The way Dave whimpered always managed to go straight to his groin, and it was so easy to get a whine when there was an easy access chain between the nipples to give a tug at.

Dave clenched his internal muscles again in a manner that would have got him disciplined should they still have been together. But they weren’t, and this whole situation probably wasn’t fair on Sean, the new boy, having to cope with his partner’s ex boyfriend getting in on the act. But hell, Sean was old enough to cope. He knew how the land lay, and, when all was said and done, Karl really didn’t think he himself would have a problem if he had a willing Sean Bean under his body. Dave did pick them well.

Karl continued to thrust into Dave, picking up speed, power and vocal stimulation. Obviously the coke bottle had done nothing to soothe Dave’s lusts, and at least there weren’t any signs of internal damage that a little bit of lubrication couldn’t solve. He was being medically beneficial as well as managing to get one of the best fucks he had had for some time. Obviously Sean managed to bring out the beast in Dave, although Jack Daniels might have had a little something to do with it.

Sean whimpered his need as Dave’s head continued to bob at his groin. Karl grinned to himself, and winked at Sean who had turned desperate and frustrated eyes towards him. Sean growled, a low primitive growl that suggested that all meals were going to be ones personally hunted, and had to bite his lip again as David continued to work with an artist’s skill.

Speaking of continuing, Karl was getting very close himself. His hand had crept between Dave’s thighs slowly, grinning to himself again at David’s surprised jerk at the touch of Karl’s hand on his sensitive areas. And this only served to increase the Australian’s determination, it seemed. Dave thrust back hard on Karl’s length to an almost painful extent. Sean gasped again as tongue and mouth worked on him still, his hands gripping Dave’s shoulders as though to let go would cause the man to stop. And Karl had to recite the alphabet backwards in his head, trying to allow the others to get there first, not to pressure them.

Dave, incredibly, was the first to go. Karl felt the man stiffen around him, felt every single muscle freeze as though shot by some type of science fiction ray gun, before Dave gave a gasp that was obviously felt from the bottom of his heart, almost having the intensity of a death call. David shuddered forwards, his breath fast, his actions paused on Sean until the harsh, frantic gasping died down to a mere pant. And then it was obvious Dave had it in for Sean’s composure. The blonde arched his back, his mouth open slightly in shock and sensation as Dave worked him with a hand and his mouth, urging him to completion without any regard to whether Sean wished for the speed. And, by the look on Sean’s face, Karl was willing to bet that he didn’t care. The cry that Sean made was probably going to wake up the neighbours again. Karl really hoped they weren’t corrupting any children.

As soon as Sean had withdrawn from his mouth, Dave slammed back on Karl’s erection like a man with a death wish. Karl, taken aback, reached desperately for thoughts of the alphabet. The alphabet failed to heed his cries for help. Bastard! Dave was far too good at this, far too tight, far too *determined* and far too-

*Fuckinghellthat’sgood-*

Karl’s self control left the building entirely. At David’s next slam back, Karl felt himself explode within him, realising that the desperate sob came from himself as he did so. Fucking hell… just … well, *fucking hell*

Karl had to grope to reclaim the working parts of his brain. He felt himself slide out on automatic pilot, meeting Sean’s suspicious eyes as he did so. He tried a grin that was weak and shaky through muscle effort. Dave himself seemed to be completely satisfied and curled on the blanket like a kitten.

“ That,” he said sleepily. “ was good,”

Karl snorted weak laughter. “ Only good?” he echoed. Sean watched Karl a little longer, then curled up on the bed as well, his blonde head resting on his arm as though using it as a pillow.

“ You okay there Sean?” Karl decided to meet the dragon face on. Why this was a good idea was anyone’s guess. The amount of knights that were roasted in their tin armour probably numbered in their thousands. Sean lifted his head slightly to allow that brilliant green gaze to fall on him again. Dave looked up sleepily and a little surprised.

“ Sean?” he echoed, worriedly. Sean’s eyes flickered to his lover and softened. Dave lifted his arm and gently stroked the man like he was some super large house cat, even tickling behind the ears. Karl was impressed that Sean wasn’t purring already.

” You haven’t answered me, Seany boy,” God, he must be drunk. ‘Seany boy’? Good grief, as Charlie Brown would say. “ Come on. Am I going to expect to be punched tomorrow for this?”

“ Bit late now, lad,” growled Sean, the housecat growing to a lion before his eyes. Karl shrugged.

“ You want to punch me now? Can do. See? All yours,” Karl put his arms behind his back and made a pose. “ If it makes you feel better,”

Sean was giving him a thoughtful look. Dave stared at him as though he had gone mad.

” Karl, Sean doesn’t want to punch you,” the Australian paused as he caught the look Sean was giving Karl. “ Do you?” he added hesitantly.

“ He made me wear pink knickers and took you in front of me!” complained Sean, but in the whining voice of the schoolchild or, indeed, the drunk. David opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, and managed to find the words.

“ Yeah, but it was all for science’s sake,” he tried. Sean gave him a look that clearly told him to pull the other one, it had bells on.

“ You really don’t like those panties do you?” Karl commented in amusement. “ Don’t know why. They suited you, sweetheart,”

Sean flushed uncomfortable. “ Lace is not me,” he growled.

“ I beg to differ!” Karl grinned. “ You’re so sweet with pink lace. So innocent. So *virginal*. Why, I bet if you wore those under Boromir’s costume you’d be flushing like a schoolgirl all day-“

Sean pounced. Incredibly, he actually pounced with accuracy. Both men crashed to the floor with a hefty thump and it was clear the whole seventeen bruises thing was going straight out the window. Dave peered over the edge of the bed, his blue eyes wide in shock at the tussling match that was happening. Because a tussling match was all that was going on; the pink underwear looked like it had zapped Sean’s strength entirely.

Finally they finished, panting, exhausted, lying on their backs on the bedroom floor rug.

“ I should smash your face in,” Sean said in an exhausted voice that stated quite clearly this was simply the script.

“ Why don’t you then?” panted Karl.

“ Can’t be arsed,”

“ Sounds okay to me,”

“ Would the pair of you stop acting like children?” grumbled Dave from above. Karl glanced towards Sean in amusement.

“ Dave thinks we’re acting like children,”

“ Terrible,” agreed Sean. There was a heavy sigh from Dave.

” You two coming back up here or am I going to have to come down there and get you?” the Australian protested. Karl grinned.

“ Darling,” he said. “ you can come whenever you like,”

In the end Dave slid to join them, bringing the blanket with him. And this, obviously, was why you should always have a large enough rug on the bedroom floor. You never knew when you were going to need it, and with how many people.

END