Melancholy Melody

Disclaimer: Not mine, not true, all made up!

Melancholy Melody

Dom’s POV

My heart contracts painfully as I close my fingers around the guitar and carefully strum a few melancholy chords. Damn him. Damn Viggo for wanting to make me sing. He thinks he means well, so what? I don’t care, I don’t feel like singing. But he has forced me to take the cursed instrument and the others are gazing expectantly at me now. I can already feel a lump forming in my throat. Damn him! Damn Viggo and his Dom-is-mopey-let’s-make-him-join-the-fun-and-cheer-him-up attitude. I don’t want to be cheered up! I hate him! A bit. But only for today. Hopefully I’ll be drunk enough later to forgive him but for now I just try to put all my hatred into the glare I’m giving him.
He laughs. Cheeky bastard. Meant with the utmost respect of course. I’m not drunk enough to insult and hate him in public. Yet. Great. Now he’s telling me to just sing what I feel. Yeah, sure. That’s the last thing I would do – or maybe I could. A quick glance around confirms my suspicion. Christopher Lee’s not here. Good. As far as I know he’s the only one besides myself who speaks German. Good. I hum softly along as I strum the first accords of the melody that fills my mind, trying to ignore Viggo’s triumphant smile. Bastard. Sing what I feel? Give them the song the bastard asked for? I will but they won’t be able to understand it. Ha. Serves them right. It’s all their fault anyway. Why can’t they let me be? Slowly my voice lifts into the air.

*Unsere Liebe ist am Boden, läuft langsam aus…* (Our love has reached the bottom, fades slowly away…)
Not that it had ever started. Our love, I mean. I try to tear my eyes from Billy but somehow I can’t help but stare at him. If he only knew.
*dreht noch ‘ne Ehrenrunde, bis sie stillsteht….* (just one more round till it’s over…)
Just like his love with Melissa. I hate her. I’ve never really hated anyone – apart from my maths teacher in ninth grade and that’s another story – but I hate her. She took the most important thing in my life from me before I even had it. Took him from me.
*Und du ich geh am Stock, will nie wieder schlafen, solange du mich Nacht für Nacht in meinen Träumen besuchst….* (and hey, I’m really down, never want to sleep again as long as you visit me every night in my dreams…)
You are always with me in my dreams, no matter what. She broke my heart by breaking yours. Does she know that? I don’t think so. And there she is, throwing herself at Beanie. The pox on her!
*Jetzt lieg ich neben dir wir haben uns alles gesagt, haben uns ausgesprochen uns Luft gemacht…* (Now I’m lying next to you we’ve told each other everything, talked this through, let it all out…)
Oh no, we haven’t. We never talked this through, because I never found the courage to tell you.
*Ich fühl mich wie ausgekotzt mir geht’s nicht viel besser, seh ich es in deinen Augen glitzern…* (I feel totally fucked up, not any better when I see your eyes glitter…)
I really feel like shit. Seeing you cry, when you broke up with her tore my heart apart. A single tear slid down your cheek as she walked away. A tear was enough to crash my world.
*Sag mal weinst du, oder ist das der Regen, der von deiner Nasenspitze tropft? Sag mal weinst du oder ist das der Regen, der von deiner Oberlippe perlt?* (Tell me, are you crying or is it the rain, dropping from the Tipp of your nose? Tell me, are you crying or is it the rain, running over your lips?)
But I know that it wasn’t the rain. I know you were crying. For her.
*Komm her ich küss den Tropfen weg, probier ihn ob er salzig schmeckt.* (Come on, I’ll kiss the drop away, will taste if it is salty.)
I would love to. Would love to kiss away he tears she caused but I know that you would recoil from me if I were to touch you in that way. I am quiet for a few seconds before I start the second verse of my song.
*Jetzt sitz ich hier und schreibe nur noch blinde Liebeslieder* (Now I’m sitting here, writing nothing but blind lovesongs)
Well, more poems than songs but yes, that’s what I do. That’s exactly what I do.
*Von Herz und Schmerz und Schmalz und so was Tolles kommt nie wieder* (Of heart and pain and sap and something that good won’t come again)
Not that I ever had it but I know that it would have been great. I just feel it.
*Hätt ich nie gedacht noch vorn paar Tagen lagen wir uns Nacht für Nacht im Arm* (I’d never have thought, just a few days ago we embraced each other every night)
At least in a friendly way. I finally tear my gaze from Billy and my fingers and look up as the last sounds of my song echo through the room. Viggo smiles and tells me that it was beautiful while he slaps and the others start to applaud. I cannot help but give them a sad smile in return. Would he still think it beautiful if he knew what it meant? Somehow I don’t think so. My song’s over and they scatter again, throughout the living room, some of them into the kitchen to get more beer and I am left alone again in my corner. Great. Just what I wanted. Now I can mope all I want without anyone trying to cheer me up. Then why do I feel so lost and empty? “Why do I feel like talking to someone?
And why for fuck’s sake did I agree to go to this party in the first place? Orli and Beanie are dancing to some awful Hip-Hop thing now and I try to ignore their drunken smiles and loving eyes shining from their glowing faces. Damn them for being happy. Though luck, Melissa. Seems like you’re not getting any tonight either. But it was fun seeing you embarrass yourself because of Beanie. Damn them for being so totally and utterly in love. Just like I am. With the difference that my love is unrequited and shall never be returned. Why do I always fall for guys who are either taken or straight?
That’s life, they say. I say life sucks. Plain and simple. I almost fall over an empty bags of crisps as I make my way to the kitchen to get something to drink. Something stronger than beer. I need it . At once. Stupid crisps. Stupid party. Stupid me. Drink. Definitely. As much as I can.
“Are you sure that you should be drinking that much?” I ignore the concerned female voice behind me and curl my fingers tighter around the bottle of vodka I have just found. “And why shouldn’t I?” I snarl much more aggressively than I intended before turning around and glaring at her while I take a long swig from the bottle. She of all people!
“It’s not healthy.” She says. Pah! “But maybe you are willing to share. There are other people here who need it too.” No, actually I’m not willing to share but I grumble an affirmative and hand her the bottle in spite of my urgent need to throttle her. Love thy enemy, I keep repeating to myself as I watch Melissa take a few sips. “Walk?” she asks. I want to say no, to tell her to get lost but instead I grab the lone bottle of Dooley’s from the counter and follow her into the garden. Great. I’m going for a moonlight walk with the person I hate most. The only person I truly hate.
I think I need something more to drink. The Dooley’s burns nicely in my throat. Vodka-Toffee, the best thing since sliced bred. Definitely. For a while we sit quietly on the steps which lead from the terrace to the garden, staring at the grassy alley between the firs and the beeches. Never noticed Vig’s garden is that beautiful. Could be because I’ve never been here at night. And I’ve never been here while drunk.
Melissa – oh God, am I really sitting here with Melissa? – takes another swig from the vodka bottle and then hands it back to me. Maybe she’s not so bad after all. Very nice. I’ve got a bottle for each hand now and they fit there perfectly.
“It’s Billy.” She says in a choked whisper, as though that’s enough to say everything. And maybe it is – or at least should be – but I still want to know. Not that I’m curious. I need to know why. Yeah, I’m a masochist, hadn’t you guessed that by now?
“What did he do?” I ask, afraid of what I might hear. “It wasn’t him.” She still sounds almost bereft of any emotion. “It was me. I was the wrong one.”
“What do you mean?” A spark of hope starts to blossom in my heart. Maybe, just maybe? “I was the wrong one for him.” She continues. “He’s in love with someone else. Has been for quite a while now and never noticed it. Can you believe that? He just didn’t notice that he’s in love with someone else!” “Oh…” I start to stutter something unintelligible but comforting and somehow end up with my arms around her shoulders, which are shaking with suppressed sobs. I don’t hate her anymore, I can’t. O know how she feels. “So who’s the other one?” I ask softly, finally emptying the bottle of Dooley’s.
“I don’t know. He never told me… I made a few guesses… but nothing more. I just don’t know…” “Hmmm….” We stare ahead into the darkness in silence, the empty bottle rolling down the stairs with resounding thuds. Stupid bottle. A squirrel runs over the lawn and our eyes follow it up into the boughs of a beech as we use our quiet solitude to wallow in self-pity. Stupid squirrel. Stupid self-pity. Stupid world.
“Are you still in love with him?” I know I won’t be able to make a play for him if she still is. Strange as it may be but I don’t want to hurt her. Not because of Billy. I know what it’s like to hurt because of Billy and I don’t want to increase anyone’s suffering. I don’t know what to say anymore and she seems loath to leave and so we continue to just sit out here, passing the vodka bottle between us from time to time.

~ ~ ~

I’m dizzy. That’s the first thing I notice as I gradually awake. And my head aches. A lot. And, come to think of it, the rest of my body hurts as well, though not as much. Hm… I’d better stay in bed and sleep this off. What the fuck did I do last night? Last night… oh no! I groan and, slapping my forehead, almost knock myself out in the process. Pain thunders through my head and down the rest of my body. It was a mistake to move. A big mistake. Very big.
Where am I? I’m lying on something soft and a blanket is neatly tucked around me, so I can’t be in the garden anymore, can I? I let my left hand gingerly drop to the side and feel the ground. Nope, not grassy at all. Maybe Vig or someone was kind enough to carry me inside once the party was over. Party? It was more like a drunken gathering of the fellowship and some other co-actors and workers and I missed the best part of it. Though luck. At least I got enough alcohol to forgive Viggo. I think. I would like to know where I am but I would have to open my eyes to have a look around and I don’t want to do that right now. Would only increase my headache anyway. Rats!
“Dom? Are you awake?” a concerned voice asks me. Oh shit! My eyes fly open and I stare into two bottomless pools of green . Oh Fuck! Billy! Hangover, unable to move and Billy standing in front of me. Could the day have started worse? “Dom? Can I get you anything?” Billy again. He’s still there so I suppose he isn’t a dream after all. “No, thanks.” I manage to croak. “I’m just thirsty.” “Okay.” He says and I slowly look around. Billy’s gone. So he was a dream after all. No, wait. Black curtains in front of the window… oak table… blue carpet… fuck again! It could have some worse. And it did. I’m at Billy’s, no doubt of that. It really can’t get any worse now.
“Here!” Billy grins at me as I stare suspiciously at the glass he offers me. “Come on, drink it.” He encourages me. “It’s a special morning-after remedy from Scotland. Old family recipe.” Did he really wink at me? Dad William “Billy” Boyd just wink at me? I can’t help but stare. Billy never winks. At anyone. “Sorry.” He says, pressing the glass with the reddish-brown liquid into my hand. “The phone’s ringing.” And gone he is. I sit up, slowly and cautious not so spill any of the stuff he gave me to drink. I continue to eye it suspiciously, trying not to stare at Billy, who’s walking through the room now, still speaking to whoever might call him this early. How early is it anyway? Doesn’t really matter since it still feels too early for anything but sleeping.
I give in to temptation and stop trying not to stare at Billy. Fuck. I must have stared too obviously. Billy’s staring right back at me, a curious expression in his eyes while he still listens to the phone. “Really… yeah, thanks Vig.” He says and I quickly hide my groan behind a big yawn. Viggo of all people is talking to Billy! The bastard. What is he telling him? I think I should continue to hate him. At least for a week or so. With the utmost love and respect of course. Wouldn’t do to hate a co-actor I’ve still got to work with for almost two years. “Yes, Dom’s still here.” Billy says, his brows furrowing as he listens to whatever Viggo replies. “Yeah, I’ll see what to do about him. Thanks for telling me. Bye.”
I gulp as he switches off his mobile and stares at me inquiringly in a very strange way for quite some minutes. “Breakfast” his green eyes twinkle mischievously all of a sudden as I dumbly nod. “Yes, thanks.” But he is already out of the door and into the kitchen. For a moment I consider getting up and following him, asking him what Viggo wanted but I already managed to sit up and the thought of additional movement makes my head hurt even more.
What the fuck happened yesterday? I only remember sitting in the garden with Melissa, talking. We did nothing but talk, didn’t we? “Oh God!” I groan once again as an image of me hugging Melissa surfaces from deep within my memory. Billy.. what if he saw us? But no, he would be acting differently if he had. Had anything worth fussing about happened? I don’t know, I barely remember yesterday evening! Damn! Hell and Damnation!
“Bloody fucking hell!” “What a way to talk! You could make a sailor blush!” Billy suddenly interrupts me, reappearing with a tray of delicious-looking toast. “Oh fuck! Did I say that out loud?” “I’m afraid you did.” He grins “Having a bad morning?” I feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I mumble something unintelligible in response. Just how much did I say out loud?
“Here.” Billy says awkwardly and puts the tray down on the table in front of me. “Eat. And drink that stuff. It’s better for you.” I frown, quickly hiding it as I down the stuff – which tastes as awful as it looks – and start to munch the toast. Why is he acting so strangely this morning? What happened to make him act this way? It wasn’t this bad before Viggo called. Viggo! That must be it! I don’t know what he could have said or done but I’m sure he’s got something to do with this. The bastard!
“Dom?” Billy’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “Is everything okay? You look.. angry…” “No.. no” I shake my head, hating the way my voice sounds. “I’m okay. I’m not angry with you.” Another half-lie. I’m getting too good at this. If only I could tell him the truth! Fuck!
“Shower?” “Wha?!?” I squeak, incredulously staring at Billy, images of water running over his skin running through my mind. “You look as though you could use a shower…” he says, while I gulp furiously to banish the strange dryness from my mouth.
“Oh… shower. Yes…. Um okay…” I manage to stutter and get up, allowing Billy to take my hand and lead me to the bathroom as though I were a small child. With everyone else I would have withdrawn my hand but this is Billy and I love the feel of his skin against mine. Even if it’s only his hand.

~ ~ ~

“Fuck!” I moan as the hot water hits my face. Billy was right, a shower is just what I needed. “Billy…” I whisper, tears stinging my eyes as I rub the shower gel into my skin, my fingers teasing every inch of flesh they touch till they finally wrap themselves around my painfully throbbing erection. “Oh Billy…” I close my eyes, steam rising and water falling around me as I slowly start to stroke myself.
I shudder as a wave of cold air suddenly hits my skin. I am too focused on myself to worry about a broken window now. I let go of my erection and start to tease my nipples, which are painfully hard, before circling lower again, my stomach contracting with arousal where I gently caress it.
I know that I’m not going to last long and I imagine Billy being here with me, naked and wet, green eyes darkened with desire as his hands travel over my body. My eyes fly open as demanding lips suddenly capture my mouth and a hard needing body presses its arousal against mine, rubbing the tips together.
I want to protest but as I open my mouth he takes the chance and slides his tongue inside. Oh God, who could have known that Billy’s such a god kisser? I try to fight him, to gain control of the kiss but my knees almost buckle beneath me and I fall limply against his chest, unable to notice anything but the two of us.
My whole world shrinks into this shower cabin, into the feeling of his arms holding me, his hands roaming my body and his kisses setting my skin ablaze. “Please…” I whimper without even noticing it. “Need you… need you so… need to feel you… inside… please?” Is that whining and begging voice really mine? Fuck it! No, fuck me, it doesn’t matter any more as he kisses me again, lips hot and firm against my own, taking and yet giving as well.
A moan rises from deep within my throat as his fingers enter me moving around till they finally brush my spot and I slump forward unable to do anything else besides getting closer to Billy. I’m practically crawling into him. Does he know how much I need him? Does he?
“Love you, Bill…” I whisper, turning around and arching into his touch. “Please…” “Love you too, Dommie.” He whispers and while I stare incredulously at him over my shoulder finally enters me in one swift move. I want to tell him, want to tell him how long I have loved him, how much I need him, how I long for him, but small moans and whimpers are all I am capable of uttering.
I close my eyes again, holding onto Billy’s arms around my waist, arching back as he starts to thrust into me, filling me completely. I am unable to hold back any longer and digging my nails into his arms urge him to speed up the rhythm of his thrusts. My head is spinning as my whole body burns with pleasure. Billy. Billy in me. Making me feel this way. Unbelievable but all that matters. Billy making love to me. All I need. All I ever wanted.
I groan as I finally come, the impact of my orgasm almost knocking me off my unsteady feet. If it hadn’t been for Billy holding me. I shudder, unable to control my body as a warm afterglow spreads through me. Love him so much…
A few thrusts later Billy is over the edge too and I hold him close, moaning in protest as he wants to withdraw. I can feel his essence within me, burning and yet all I ever wanted. Always wanted so much. I barely notice him lifting me into his arms as I pass out the smile still on my lips.

~ ~ ~

It is warm and I’m lying on something wonderfully soft and comfortable as I wake. My head has stopped aching and I doze off again, relishing in the feeling of being warm and contented.
“Dom…wake up…” a voice whispers into my ear and a hand slowly starts to trace circles around my once again hardened nipples. “Come on,” Billy urges me “I know you’re awake… we have to talk…”
Talk? But about what? I had the most wonderful dream and.. or hadn’t I? I slowly open my eyes and stare into the most bewitching green eyes I have ever seen. “Billy…” my voice is flat. “I’m sorry…I….” I stammer. How could I? He must hate me! “I don’t know how this happened but…”
“But I do.” He smiles, shushing me. “Making love takes two, doesn’t it?” I nod dumbly, unable to grasp what he is saying but he continues anyway. “I love you, Dominic Bernard Patrick Luke Monaghan.” He declares sincerity shining from his eyes. “And now that I’ve got you in my bed, I’m not going to let you out of it again. It took Melissa and Viggo to make me see but I truly love you.”
“I love you too.” I smile. “But what have Melissa and Viggo got to do with that?”
His voice is incredibly soft as he answers my question after pondering it for some time. “Melissa left me because she noticed that I was in love with someone else, with you. She also told me that said someone returned my feelings and that I should find that someone and act upon those feelings.” “And Viggo?”
“Viggo translated your song for me and told me how you had looked at me while you sung.” “Oh..” I manage. “Was I that obvious?” “Seems so.” He shrugs and I love even this little gesture of his. “Viggo claimed that Melissa made you drunk on purpose after talking to him and then he asked me to take you home since you were too drunk to take care of yourself.”
“They set us up?” “Well, yes.” “That arrogant cheeky bastard!” In consider calling Viggo and telling him what I think of him but decide against it. Would be too much work.
“They were right,” I say instead, turning to Billy once more.
“You are the love of my life.” “And you mine.” Billy answers before pulling me into a kiss I never want to end. Ever.

~ Finis ~