Straight

Disclaimer: I don’t own Orlando Bloom. (Wish I did but I don’t.) I don’t even know the guy. Furthermore I know nothing about his sexual preferences or private life activities, nor do I claim to. So please don’t sue. Also I’m not lucky enough to know Mr. Mortensen or any other person mentioned herein.
A/N: My first RPS fic, yay me! Please let me know if this is any good. That means read & review, please. :)


Straight


Orlando is straight, a heterosexual. He loves women. He fucks women. Men are just mates. He’s never kissed another bloke, nor does he intend to. Female kisses are more than enough, thank you very much.


It’s Friday night and he’s out clubbing with the Hobbits – nothing unusual about that. He hasn’t met anyone interesting so far, the chicks are either too drunk or not pretty enough to catch his fancy or spoken for or whatever. Orli’s prepared to go home alone tonight. But that’s just fine; he can have a good old-fashioned wank while watching some porn.

He smiles at a beautiful girl who dances near him. The girl smiles back and Orlando’s grin broadens. Maybe here’s some entertainment for the evening… and for the night… Just when he is about to approach her, her boyfriend (?) comes and kisses her. Orli shrugs his shoulders and keeps on dancing. He turns around and notices that Beanie and Viggo have arrived and are just ordering some drinks. “Hey Vig, Beanie”, he shouts and waves his hand. “Glad you could make it!”

Beanie grins and takes a sip from his beer. Viggo looks at him with that weird poet-artist- expression on his face before he smiles, too and raises his hand in salute.

Orli’s sweaty and thirsty so he leaves the dance floor and makes his way to Mr’s Mortensen and Bean. “Nice to see you mates. Didn’t think you were going to come”, he says and steals Beanie’s pint. He takes a long swig and sighs in contentment. “Cheers mate. I was thirsty as hell.”

“Hey, mate”, Beanie says grumpily, “that was one helluva swig. You should really buy me another one.”

“Sorry, don’t buy drinks for guys”, Orli grins. He then turns to look at Viggo. “I thought you were going to do some painting today.” It’s a question as much as a remark.

“Yea, I did some”, Viggo says. “Then Beanie called and asked if I was interested in joining him for a beer. I didn’t know that you’d be here as well.”

“And the Hobbits are here, too”, Orlando enthuses. “Look, Sean and Elijah are dancing right there and Billy and Dom… Where the hell are Billy and Dom?”

Sean points at a secluded corner. “I think Billy and Dom are there. Looks like they’re making out.” He grins.

Viggo smiles a secret, little smile.

Orli is horrified. “Making out? Why should they be making out?! They’re both guys for fuck’s sake!”

“Yea, we’ve noticed”, Beanie says dryly and smirks at Viggo. “What’s with you, Elf? It’s no secret that those two are smitten with each other.”

Orlando is panting. “Does this mean that they’re gay?” He finally manages. To his humiliation his voice is a notch higher than usually. Luckily neither Viggo nor Bean seem to pay attention to it.

Beanie shrugs casually and takes another sip. “Dunno… Is that of importance?”

“Well, they have both seen me naked!” Orli nearly shrieks. “I can’t believe they haven’t told me!”

“You disapprove of homosexuality, then.” That’s Viggo’s voice. Very neutral.

Orlando looks surprised. “Well, yea. I don’t think it’s natural for two guys to get it on… I mean, isn’t that why there are two sexes and not just one?”

Beanie glances at Viggo and raises subtly an eyebrow. “Sorry, need to go to the loo. Be right back.” With that he places his pint on the table and leaves them alone.

Orli looks at Viggo, too and asks in a confused voice; “So what was that about?“

“It was nothing”, Viggo says loudly and fixes his blue-eyed gaze on the dance floor. “Should we go and say hi to Sean and Lij? Looks like they’re having fun.”

Orli nods and the men make their way to their friends. Lij and Sean are indeed having fun; they’re dancing with some girls and each other, Sean’s a bit drunk and Lij is – once again – energetic and bouncy and surprisingly sober. Soon enough Orlando loses himself to dancing and doesn’t even notice when his friends leave the dance floor. A lot later he finally wakes from his trance and starts looking around. His friends are nowhere to be seen. Orli frowns and goes to search for them – surely they haven’t left him here alone. He sure as hell hopes they haven’t.

In the gents he runs into Viggo who is washing his hands. “God, Vig, I thought you had all gone home”, he sighs in relief. “So where are the others?”

“They left”, Viggo replies curtly. His stare is intense and Orli begins to feel a bit self-conscious. “I stayed because I didn’t want to leave you here all by yourself.”

Orlando’s expression brightens and he smiles his patented Orli-smile. “Ta mate, that’s considerate. I think I’m going home alone for a change, don’t feel like shagging any bird tonight.”

“Orlando…” Viggo says and then hesitates. “About what you said earlier.”

Orli raises one of his eyebrows. “What did I say? Don’t pay attention to my ramblings, you know I have a big mouth and sometimes I talk too much.”

“About what you said about homosexuality. That in your opinion it’s not normal. Is that really what you think?” Viggo’s expression is unreadable as is his tone of voice.

“Can’t really say”, the Brit shrugs. “I don’t know any gay guys… or bisexuals, for that matter. I just think that it’s weird that a man can be attracted to another man when there are so many pretty gals around. I don’t understand it.”

“You mean that you have never found another man attractive?” The Dane pursues. His eyes never leave Orlando’s.

“Not that I know of”, Orli says lightly and smiles then. “Why all these questions? If you’re thinking about Billy and Dom, don’t worry, I’ll keep my opinions to myself. After all it’s their business who they fuck with. I just wish they would have told me.”

Viggo looks a bit awkward. “I didn’t ask those questions because of Billy and Dom”, he says. “I asked because…” He cannot find the words to explain himself – despite his poetic talents – so he just steps closer to Orlando, pulls him to his arms and presses his lips against the younger man’s.

Viggo’s lips are soft and yet hard; demanding and seeking dominance – not yielding and pliant as girls’ lips mostly are. He tastes of cigarettes and beer and of something else that Orli cannot define. The taste is unfamiliar to him.

Orlando is shocked; he really didn’t see the kiss coming. He’s so shocked that he doesn’t push the Dane away but lets the kiss continue instead. Viggo’s a skillful kisser, his lips are moist but not wet and he applies just the perfect amount of pressure. When his tongue seeks entrance, however, Orlando realises what is happening and withdraws. His breathing is heavy and his cheeks flushed.

“What the hell was that?” He all but squeals.

“Gods Orli, I’m sorry”, Viggo mutters barely audibly and doesn’t look him in the eyes. “I just…” Again words leave him. He murmurs something, it could be Danish, hell, it could be anything, for Orlando doesn’t hear his words. Viggo strides out of the gents and leaves a bewildered young Brit behind. Orli touches his slightly swollen lips with his fingertips. He can still feel Viggo. He can still taste Viggo.

Orli’s straight, no doubt about it. But why is it that he now has an erection?

A/N: Interested in a sequel? Please let me know. :) *hugs and kisses*