Deep Despair

Title: Deep Despair
Type: FPS
Author: Lady Mírfain (ladymirfain@earthlink.net)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Legolas/Rumil, Haldir/Boromir
Disclaimer: The characters you recognize belong to Tolkien. I am just borrowing them to play with. I promise to return them with smiles on their faces.
Beta: Priestess Vesta and Synfull Legend
Notes: This was written for a secret santa fic exchange for Pet. I hope you like it sweetie. This was the first non-elf fic ever for me.
Summary: Legolas looks back upon the fellowship’s time in Lorien..


Deep Despair


The sound of an explosion rocked the keep and the pain that flooded his system made Legolas freeze. “RUMIL!” he screamed and turned, searching frantically for a sight of his husband. But there was no sight of him. And worse yet, their bond was silent, eerily silent. Legolas fought his way towards where he had last caught sight of his beloved Rumil and felt his heart clench at the sight that greeted him. The wall, where Rumil had been standing with his battalion, was gone. All that remained were piles of rubble. Forcing himself not to panic, Legolas returned his attention to the fight, even more bloodthirsty than before. He spied Haldir and began to fight his way towards him.

Hearing Aragorn shout retreat, telling them to fall back to the keep, pulled his attention slightly, but then he cried out. “NO! HALDIR!” In horror, he watched his husband’s older brother brought down. Rushing towards the scene, he fought as if possessed, only to be beaten to Haldir’s side by Aragorn. Watching as one friend cradled the other, he smiled ferally, until Aragorn lay Haldir down, and then his smile turned into a ferocious scowl and the uruk hai fled from him in fear. //Dead? Haldir cannot be dead. How can I ever face Orophin, if we have lost both his brothers?// The only thing that kept Legolas from total despair was that he had not felt Rumil’s death. He was positive that his husband lived. He would know if he did not.

The coming of Eomer heralded the end of the fight, a victory for the Rohirrim, and one sorely needed. As soon as the keep was cleared of all danger, Legolas ran to where he had seen Haldir fall, only to meet a few of the remaining Galadhrim reverently cloaking the body of their fallen leader. They stepped aside to allow him to approach and he knelt. With tears dripping from his face, Legolas placed a gentle kiss on the cold brow of the once proud and arrogant warrior. He vowed to find his husband. //Rumil, you must be alive. I could not go on, knowing I have lost you!//

Legolas rose from his position and looked at the other elves. Nodding to them, he turned and made his way to the collapsed wall, joining other elves in clearing the rubble. As he searched for his husband, he let his mind wander, looking back on the time of the fellowship’s arrival in Lorien.

“The dwarf breathes so loud, I could have shot him in the dark,” had been Haldir’s arrogant words and Legolas could not help put grin as he agreed with his brother in law. Gimli’s breathing was harsh and loud and grated on his elven senses, but the dwarf had rapidly become a good and welcome friend. Legolas had spent much time in Lorien with his husband. The days were spent wandering the woods in the company of the dwarf, whom Rumil had welcomed with open arms. They had shown him the beauty of the elven realm, both the city and the surrounding woods and the words of awe and reverence that Gimli had spoken had filled both their hearts with joy.

But the nights were spent wrapped in Rumil’s arms. Often, they would sit wrapped in a blanket on the balcony of his husband’s talan, watching the city as it slept. It was from there, they had watched the budding relationship between Haldir and the human, Boromir. Legolas had felt misgivings, realizing that Boromir had been attracted to Haldir, but when he noticed his brother in law returning the looks filled with lust and want, he had kept his tongue.

On their third night in Lorien, Legolas and Rumil had gone to sit and watch, after having re-affirmed their love with torrid lovemaking. Looking down on where the fellowship lay sleeping, Legolas nudged his husband and pointed. A ghostly figure, that of Haldir, had approached the encampment and woken Boromir with a hand over his mouth. Then, Haldir had led Boromir into the woods and out of their sight.

***

Boromir struggled as Haldir led him into the woods and away from the sleeping fellowship. How dare this upstart dare touch him, the son of the steward? Yes, he wanted this elf and wanted him badly, but he wanted the elf beneath him. And that is what would happen, Boromir was determined at this.

“Do not struggle, mortal,” Haldir growled arrogantly. “I will not harm you this night….” With a ear-splitting grin, Haldir huskily whispered, “Much” Dragging the reluctant warrior behind him, Haldir pulled them into the small hut that enclosed a hot spring. His eyes flashed as he noted the pile of blankets and the towels placed in the building. Releasing Boromir, Haldir pushed the door closed and flipped the lock with a click, a feral smile on his lush lips.

Boromir eyed Haldir lustfully and growled. “Why have you brought me here, March Warden? I am no minion, forced to do your bidding.”

Haldir moved faster than Boromir thought any creature could. The elf had the man pinned to the wall, face first, he hands caught behind his back and the elf’s raging erection pressed against Boromir’s cleft. Groaning into Boromir’s ear, Haldir nipped it then asked him, “Why do you think I brought you here?”

Boromir hissed and spun, pinning the surprised elf to the wall and crushing their chests together. “You will not take me,” he spat. “No one takes me.” Burying his hands in the silken tresses, Boromir ground their mouths together, silencing the arrogant beast.

Haldir purred into the hot mouth ravishing him, one hand locked behind Boromir’s head, the other trailing down the warrior’s chest, to cup his erection, squeezing and kneading through the fabric.

Boromir bucked into the hand, unable to control his body. Groaning, he let his hands begin to roam, trying to find a way through the barrier of clothing. “I want you. I want to bury myself inside your hot body. I will make you scream for me. Now strip.” With that command, Boromir took a step back and waited.

Reaching out, Haldir grasped the neck of Boromir’s tunic and ripped it open. “Oh, no. You will not have me.” Pushing the tunic off Boromir’s shoulders, Haldir began exploring the furry chest revealed to his eyes. “I will have you, Boromir, son of Denethor. I am in control here, not you.” Twining his fingers in the curly hair on the man’s muscled chest, Haldir leaned in and nipped at the hard nubs begging for attention.

With a cry, Boromir grabbed the front of Haldir’s tunic and ripped it, shoving it down his arms, effectively tying his arms. He then ravaged the arrogant, hot mouth, plundering within. His hands were roaming everywhere they could reach and he was losing all sense of his surroundings. Until suddenly, he was grabbed, spun and his arms tied behind his back. “What?” he cried in surprise. “No! You cannot!” Panicking, Boromir fought and struggled, but could not break his bonds. Realizing he could not win, terror flooded his system and he seemed to shrink in fear. “Please,” he whispered. “Do not do this.”

Haldir froze at the change in the man. Looking deep into Boromir’s hazel eyes, he saw fear and terror there. Gently stroking the bristly cheek, Haldir ghosted a kiss across the man’s lips. “What is it? Why are you afraid?” The fire in his blood had cooled and he tenderly wrapped his arms around the warrior.

Boromir had started to tremble from the tenderness Haldir was showing him. “I have not…..” Blushing beet red, he dropped his eyes. “I know not what to….” Growing silent, Boromir tried to pull away, forgetting his arms were bound.

Haldir did not respond with words, instead, he stripped Boromir of all his clothing, then led him to the hot springs and helped him to lower himself into the water. Turning away, he rapidly removed his own clothing before joining the man in the water. The timidity and fear evident in Boromir’s eyes and manners tugged at Haldir’s heart and he paused. //I am not falling for a mortal! I will not fall in love with a mortal!// Haldir lectured himself. He could not afford to lose himself. Slowly, he joined the man in the water, sighing as the warmth caressed his body. “This is nice,” he whispered, turning to look into the hazel eyes surveying his form. Noting the lack of fear, Haldir leaned in to trace his tongue around the lush lips, begging entrance.

Groaning, Boromir turned and buried his hands in Haldir’s hair, holding him close and opening to duel with his tongue. “Hmmmm,” he moaned into the questing mouth. He was melting and he knew in that moment he would submit. “I have never let anyone have me,” he whispered into Haldir’s kiss. “But…. But I would let you.”

Pulling back, he looked into Boromir’s eyes and Haldir was amazed. “You would let me? Without a fight? You would gift me with letting me be your first?” Amazed that Boromir trusted him enough for this, Haldir ravaged the man’s mouth. When the need to breathe caused them to part, Haldir rose, pulling Boromir with him from the water. “Lie down on those blankets on your stomach,” Haldir commanded, grinning as Boromir complied as if in a trance. “Trust me. You will enjoy this and find great pleasure.” Haldir found the bottle of oil kept their for bathers and then followed Bormir down, stretching out beside him, and kissing him deeply.

His hand stroked Boromir’s back in soothing circles as he ended the kiss reluctantly. Kissing a trail across Boromir’s shoulder and down his back, he popped the stopper out of the oil bottle and dipped his finger into the viscous liquid. Suckling hard on the junction of neck and shoulder, Haldir dipped his finger into the dark cleft, tracing the outline of the puckered opening. “Relax,” Haldir whispered, as he bit down hard on the flesh he had been suckling, slipping his finger inside as Boromir cried out from his bite.

Boromir bucked back against the invading finger, tensing up once more. Haldir kissed a trail up to Boromir’s ear, nipping at the lobe. “Easy, now. Just relax. It will get better, I promise you.” Working his finger, he crooked it and found what he was looking for.

“What…. What was that?” Boromir panted, his hips thrusting back again as Haldir his something deep with in. “Do it again,” he pleaded, his body heating rapidly.

Haldir grinned and withdrawing, returned with two fingers, stretching the passage and brushing the knob inside, he chuckled as Boromir thrust his hips hard. “Easy. Have patience. I would show you the world.” Slipping a third finger in, he worked hard to stretch passage to cause as little pain as possible.

Judging Boromir to be prepared enough, Haldir lay on top of him and whispered in his ear, “There will be discomfort at first, but it will get better. I promise you this.” He then kissed Boromir passionately as he slowly began to enter him. His body was taught and trembling as he slipped inside inch by inch and he wanted nothing more than to sheath himself in one final thrust and begin to pound into the hard body beneath him.

Boromir felt as if he was being split in two. “It… it hurts, Haldir.” He bit his lip, trying to keep from crying out, then screamed as Haldir brushed that spot once more. All thoughts of pain fled his mind and he thrust back once more, firmly sheathing Haldir deep inside.

Grunting, Haldir began to thrust furiously. His body was wound like a spring and he knew he would not last long. With a shaky hand, he reached beneath their bodies to grasp Boromir in hand and stroked him in time with his thrusts. “Come for me, beautiful,” he whispered in the man’s ear before biting the lobe harshly.

When Haldir bit his ear, Boromir cried out, then his body convulsed and he shot streams of hot liquid over Haldir’s hand. He repeated Haldir’s name over and over as his body twitched and jerked and then finally relaxed into a spent heap.

Feeling Boromir pulsing around him, Haldir bit down on the man’s shoulder, marking him and filled him with his burning essence. Once, twice, three more times, he thrust, then collapsed on Boromir’s back, panting breathlessly.

Slowly regaining a small amount of coherency, Haldir eased out of the tight backside and dropped onto the blankets next to Boromir, pulling the man tightly into his arms and kissing him tenderly. “I wish you could stay with me forever,” he murmured against Boromir’s lips. “That was like nothing I have felt before.”

Boromir looked into the bright blue eyes and blinked at the emotion he saw there. “You…. feel this way as well? You, l…..”

Haldir placed a finger against Boromir’s lips silencing him. “Shhh, yes, I feel it as well. But let us not speak of it. Let us wait until the war is over and we can be together.” Haldir replaced his finger with his mouth, kissing Boromir reverently.

***

In the remaining weeks which the fellowship spent in Lorien, Haldir and Boromir spent all of their time together. If you were looking for one, you found both. Boromir spent his nights wrapped in Haldir’s bow-strengthened arms in the march warden’s talan. All of Lorien smiled to see Haldir happy finally. For millennia, they had watched the arrogant elf and despaired of him ever finding love. For many, worry creased their brow as they wondered at the fate of Haldir when the mortal passed on. But they decided to wait and comfort him when that eventuality occurred.

When the fellowship continued on their way, Haldir moped and returned to his arrogant ways and many wondered where the bright happy creature they had come to know had disappeared to. And it came as no surprise to anyone, when Haldir volunteered to lead the elven forces to Helms Deep. They only hoped the reunion was a joyous one.

***

Rumil went looking for his brother. Legolas had just told him of Boromir’s death and the bravery of the man and Rumil took it upon himself to let Haldir know of Boromir’s demise. He knew the timing was not the best, but the news would be better coming from him than for Haldir to hear it in passing. Heading out to the ramparts, he spotted Haldir and hurried to his side, his face going white when he noticed what Haldir held, one of Boromir’s vambracers. “He was defending the hobbits,” he said, placing his hand on Haldir’s shoulder.

“Leave me,” Haldir croaked, his voice full of unshed tears. “Please, head our troops. Give them encouragement. Be the leader I cannot be.” Haldir would not meet Rumil’s gaze. As Rumil started to turn away, Haldir called, “Rumil, wait!” When his brother turned, Haldir hugged him tightly. “I love you, brother. Never forget this and tell Orophin that I love him as well. Now go!” Turning away, Haldir looked out over the mass of moving darkness that approached and made his peace with the Valar.

***

A shout from one of the Galadhrim pulled Legolas back to the present and seeing the wild gestures, ran to investigate. “What is it?” he started to ask, when he stopped dead. With a cry, he dropped to his knees next to the crumpled form of his husband, gently stroking the matted, bloody and muddy hair back from the fine face. “Rumil, my love,” he whispered. “Open your eyes. Please, come back to me.” Legolas begged and pleaded with his husband, worry causing a lump in his throat.

Rumil heard Legolas calling to him and tried to respond. He desperately needed to see his husband again. He was so cold. So very cold. He tried to open his eyes, but it was as if his body was not his own. “Le….g….las?” he whispered in a pained and scratchy voice.

“RUMIL!” Legolas shouted, joy flooding his heart. “You are alive! Oh, praise the Valar!” Legolas bent and carefully and gently placed a kiss on his husband’s lips, then pulled back and allowed several of the Galadhrim to help him carry Rumil into the healing hall. A wide smile spread across his face. His husband was alive and all was right in his world once more. And then….

Memories assailed him. He saw once more the horror of Haldir being hewn in two by the uruk hai. He saw his law brother’s lifeless form being laid down by Aragorn. He saw the Galadhrim paying homage to their fallen Captain. //Oh, how will I ever tell Rumil that Haldir is gone? Please, give us both the strength to deal with this.// Legolas shook himself and brought his attention back to his injured husband.

Three days later, Rumil grasped Legolas’ arm and stopped him from fussing over him. “I will be fine. You must continue on the quest. Please, do not fuss.” Legolas was driving him mad. He was planning on giving up the quest to return to Lorien with him and he would not allow it. “Legolas, where is Haldir? Why will no one tell me how he fairs?” he asked quietly, fear filling him as he saw his husband stiffen. When Legolas finally turned towards him, he was shocked to see tears streaming down Legolas’ cheeks. Holding out his hand he beckoned him closer and waited.

“Haldir…. Haldir is gone,” Legolas whispered quietly, chocking on the words. “He took an axe to his back. I am so sorry.” He then pulled Rumil into his arms, offering what comfort he could. But Rumil surprised him.

“He is happy then,” Rumil said, smiling sadly through his tears. His grief at losing his older brother was fierce. “Haldir did not want to live after learning of Boromir’s death. His heart was broken asunder. Haldir loved him, Legolas. He did not want to survive this war and so he did not.”

***

“It is time, Haldir” Mandos said, coming up to the warrior residing in his halls. “It is time to rejoin your family.” Placing his hand on Haldir’s shoulder, however, he paused. “We have decided to grant you one request for your faithful service to your Lord and Lady and your total dedication to the preservation of the realm in which you had abided. Tell me, child. What is your greatest desire?” The tall form of Mandos waited patiently for the still seated guardian to state his request, already knowing what it would be.

“I…. I would have Boromir at my side once more. I love him still.” Haldir let his tear-filled gaze drop to the floor as he waited for Mandos to laugh. “I know this is impossible, my lord. But it is truly my heart’s sole desire.” Haldir had long ago resigned himself to spending the remainder of his life alone.

Suddenly, he was no longer sitting in Mandos’ halls. He was standing in a garden surrounded by his family. He hugged and was hugged, until suddenly a movement caught the edge of his vision. Turning his head, Haldir froze. “Boromir?” he whispered, knowing he was not seeing what he thought. Or that was until the elf… the elf? “What….?” Haldir did not get to finish his question before he was gathered into strong elven arms and kissed soundly. When he could finally speak once more, he looked up into familiar eyes. “Boromir?” he asked in awe, stroking a strand of the same dirty blonde hair behind a delicate, leaf shaped ear. “You are an elf….”

Boromir threw his head back and laughed. “It would seem that some one made a request of the Valar and since they could not allow a mortal to be reborn, they gave me this form. I love you, Haldir. I have never stopped loving you!” Boromir picked Haldir up and swung him around, laughing with joy.

Haldir, finally regaining him voice, whispered, “And I love you, Boromir. I have never stopped loving you, either.” He then wrapped his arms around Boromir’s neck and screamed out his thanks to the Valar, joy and happiness flooding his being once more.