Elf Panties
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,679
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,679
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Elf Panties
Title: Elf Panties
Author: Anu (anubeta@lycos.com)
Pairing: Fellowship/Fellowship, Elrond/Glorfindel/Erestor.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Elf panties, humpy hobbits, and naked tag with Glorfindel.
Warning: My very first challenge and humor fic. Scary. Written around the same time as 'Moon Shadows' and 'Windows and Birthdays'.
Author's Notes: And there you have it. Several challenges rolled into a squicky fellowship ninesome, dashed with humor, and spiced with one naked blonde elf running around imaldris chased by an elf lord and one of his chief counsels. :)
--------------
Challenges curtoesy of Least Expected:
--------------
*Someone saying "Get out of my way, you imbecile!"
* Legolas's underwear.
13. aragorn orgy -everyone loves him!
* Someone getting hit in the head with something heavy
18. explaining "Elfhood"
20. The "Ninesome" challenge. The whole Fellowship, doing it.
____________________________
“Move over Pippin, I want to see them.” Merry gave Pippin’s soft rump a shove.
“See who?” Frodo asked, going over to stand behind them at the window, Sam dogging his heels.
“Why, the Mirkwood elves, Frodo.” Pippin said without taking his eyes from the leather legging encased, chiseled buttocks of the elves that stood in the courtyard, exchanging greetings with Lord Elrond. “Oh my.” Frodo said softy. Merry tittered. “Look at what that one’s packing.” He said and gestured obscenely. Pippin giggled and elbowed him.
Sam could already tell that those two were planning to start trouble. “Oh, no, Mr. Frodo, I’m not letting you get involved with this.” Frodo turned to him. “Involved with what?” He asked innocently. “Why, Mr. Frodo sir, whatever it is those two are plannin’.” Pippin and Merry gave one another ‘a look’ then discreetly glared at Sam. With an injured sniff, Pippin left the window and strutted out, his whole posture radiating offence. Strangely enough, Merry followed and towed Frodo along. Sam didn’t like this whole business, not one bit, and chased after the three impish cousins.
****
“Oh LOOK.” Pippin popped out of ransacking the closet in the empty room, holding his trophy high. Merry laughed, rummaging in a chest full of elf-clothes. “Look, Frodo, Sam, Pip’s found elf panties!”
“Underwear, Merry. Women wear panties.” Frodo corrected, ogling the drawers all the same, joining Pippin and Merry and the panties. “Look, they have something embroidered in the waistband.” Merry pointed, showing it to Frodo, who could read elvish. Frodo read it aloud. “Property of Legolas.” Merry hooted with laughter, and Pippin squealed, “They’re the Prince of Mirkwood’s!”
Boromir, unable to control himself any longer, crawled laughing out from under the bed where he had been waiting to ambush a few particular elves. “Get out of my way you imbecile!” He said gruffly, shoving Merry and aside and snatching the panties. Merry and Pippin and Frodo leapt up uselessly, trying to get them back, but Boromir held them well out of reach and sniffed the crotch teasingly. “Damn, clean.” He mumbled, dangling the lacy unders just out of the hobbits’ reach.
“Ew he SNIFFED them!” Pippin exclaimed, whining jealously. “Don’t worry little one. There’s been no elfhood in them recently unless elves naturally smell like laundry soap.” Boromir assured, but Pippin sulked anyway. “Elfhood?” Frodo asked hesitantly. Boromir struggled to explain. “Um, like manhood for a man, only elfhood because he’s an elf…I’m REALLY not good at explaining things. Faramir still thinks that chickens court like royalty to decide who gets to ‘marry’ whom.” Boromir took pity on the hobbits’ plight and relinquished the panties.
Suddenly, voices in the corridor alerted them that the room’s owner was returning. Boromir dove under the bed and the four hobbits fought and tripped over one another to hide.
When Aragorn and Legolas entered the room, nothing out of the ordinary could be seen, other than Aragorn had obviously lost his tongue somewhere in Leola’s mouth and Legolas was desperately trying to help him find it again, searching Aragon’s mouth for the missing tongue. When they fell onto the bed, still kissing, Merry and Pippin and Boromir were crushed beneath it as the soft elven mattress sank. The only thing stopping Boromir from betraying them with his laughter were the panties shoved in his mouth, gag like. He seemed happy enough with that, and shut up to listen.
The tall, thin wardrobe was becoming a bit crowded as Frodo began to hyperventilate while Sam desperately attempted to calm him. The whole thing broke loose about the time Legolas got Aragorn’s pants off.
“Is that your hand on my ass, Legolas?” Aragorn asked, pausing.
Legolas’s hands were busy with other things, one in Aragorn’s hair, and the other on his chest. Aragorn turned to look at the hand, following it up the arm to find the owner.
Boromir grinned sheepishly around a mouth full of…Legolas’s underwear? Legolas looked at him around Aragorn and chuckled. No, snorted is more like it, most un-elflike. Boromir took this as an invitation and jumped up on the bed to join the fun. Not wanting to be left out if Boromir was getting some, Merry and Pippin also appeared. The wardrobe fell open and two intertwined hobbits appeared, happy to have found a way to keep from hyperventilation and glad they no longer had to hide with their little ‘cure’.
Gandalf watched through a crack in the door, Gimli breathing heavily at his waist not helping much with his current staff-balancing issues. When everyone came out of hiding, Gimli laid his hand on the e door as if he would go in. Gandalf stopped him. “Where are YOU going?” He whispered.
“To join them. ‘And you have my axe’ and all.”
“Nobody wants us Gimli. We’re supposed to just stand out here and breath heavy.”
“I did not come all this way just to watch an elf and four hobbits shag two men silly. I’m going in.” Gimli argued.
Gandalf sighed, and did the most logical thing he could in the situation. He hit Gimli over the head with his staff. His magical one.
Not five minutes later Sam and Frodo joined the two-man, two-hobbit, one-elf orgy on the bed. Frodo heard dimly a thud out in the hallway, but paid it no attention.
****
Two amused elves watched from their balcony, stifling giggles, their faces warped into permanent smirks as they watched through room window that someone had forgotten to close. A third elf joined them, and the three of them fought together to keep from laughing. The laughter issue was effectually solved when Glorfindel stripped naked and Erestor and Elrond chased him inside Elrond’s bedroom.
Author: Anu (anubeta@lycos.com)
Pairing: Fellowship/Fellowship, Elrond/Glorfindel/Erestor.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Elf panties, humpy hobbits, and naked tag with Glorfindel.
Warning: My very first challenge and humor fic. Scary. Written around the same time as 'Moon Shadows' and 'Windows and Birthdays'.
Author's Notes: And there you have it. Several challenges rolled into a squicky fellowship ninesome, dashed with humor, and spiced with one naked blonde elf running around imaldris chased by an elf lord and one of his chief counsels. :)
--------------
Challenges curtoesy of Least Expected:
--------------
*Someone saying "Get out of my way, you imbecile!"
* Legolas's underwear.
13. aragorn orgy -everyone loves him!
* Someone getting hit in the head with something heavy
18. explaining "Elfhood"
20. The "Ninesome" challenge. The whole Fellowship, doing it.
____________________________
“Move over Pippin, I want to see them.” Merry gave Pippin’s soft rump a shove.
“See who?” Frodo asked, going over to stand behind them at the window, Sam dogging his heels.
“Why, the Mirkwood elves, Frodo.” Pippin said without taking his eyes from the leather legging encased, chiseled buttocks of the elves that stood in the courtyard, exchanging greetings with Lord Elrond. “Oh my.” Frodo said softy. Merry tittered. “Look at what that one’s packing.” He said and gestured obscenely. Pippin giggled and elbowed him.
Sam could already tell that those two were planning to start trouble. “Oh, no, Mr. Frodo, I’m not letting you get involved with this.” Frodo turned to him. “Involved with what?” He asked innocently. “Why, Mr. Frodo sir, whatever it is those two are plannin’.” Pippin and Merry gave one another ‘a look’ then discreetly glared at Sam. With an injured sniff, Pippin left the window and strutted out, his whole posture radiating offence. Strangely enough, Merry followed and towed Frodo along. Sam didn’t like this whole business, not one bit, and chased after the three impish cousins.
****
“Oh LOOK.” Pippin popped out of ransacking the closet in the empty room, holding his trophy high. Merry laughed, rummaging in a chest full of elf-clothes. “Look, Frodo, Sam, Pip’s found elf panties!”
“Underwear, Merry. Women wear panties.” Frodo corrected, ogling the drawers all the same, joining Pippin and Merry and the panties. “Look, they have something embroidered in the waistband.” Merry pointed, showing it to Frodo, who could read elvish. Frodo read it aloud. “Property of Legolas.” Merry hooted with laughter, and Pippin squealed, “They’re the Prince of Mirkwood’s!”
Boromir, unable to control himself any longer, crawled laughing out from under the bed where he had been waiting to ambush a few particular elves. “Get out of my way you imbecile!” He said gruffly, shoving Merry and aside and snatching the panties. Merry and Pippin and Frodo leapt up uselessly, trying to get them back, but Boromir held them well out of reach and sniffed the crotch teasingly. “Damn, clean.” He mumbled, dangling the lacy unders just out of the hobbits’ reach.
“Ew he SNIFFED them!” Pippin exclaimed, whining jealously. “Don’t worry little one. There’s been no elfhood in them recently unless elves naturally smell like laundry soap.” Boromir assured, but Pippin sulked anyway. “Elfhood?” Frodo asked hesitantly. Boromir struggled to explain. “Um, like manhood for a man, only elfhood because he’s an elf…I’m REALLY not good at explaining things. Faramir still thinks that chickens court like royalty to decide who gets to ‘marry’ whom.” Boromir took pity on the hobbits’ plight and relinquished the panties.
Suddenly, voices in the corridor alerted them that the room’s owner was returning. Boromir dove under the bed and the four hobbits fought and tripped over one another to hide.
When Aragorn and Legolas entered the room, nothing out of the ordinary could be seen, other than Aragorn had obviously lost his tongue somewhere in Leola’s mouth and Legolas was desperately trying to help him find it again, searching Aragon’s mouth for the missing tongue. When they fell onto the bed, still kissing, Merry and Pippin and Boromir were crushed beneath it as the soft elven mattress sank. The only thing stopping Boromir from betraying them with his laughter were the panties shoved in his mouth, gag like. He seemed happy enough with that, and shut up to listen.
The tall, thin wardrobe was becoming a bit crowded as Frodo began to hyperventilate while Sam desperately attempted to calm him. The whole thing broke loose about the time Legolas got Aragorn’s pants off.
“Is that your hand on my ass, Legolas?” Aragorn asked, pausing.
Legolas’s hands were busy with other things, one in Aragorn’s hair, and the other on his chest. Aragorn turned to look at the hand, following it up the arm to find the owner.
Boromir grinned sheepishly around a mouth full of…Legolas’s underwear? Legolas looked at him around Aragorn and chuckled. No, snorted is more like it, most un-elflike. Boromir took this as an invitation and jumped up on the bed to join the fun. Not wanting to be left out if Boromir was getting some, Merry and Pippin also appeared. The wardrobe fell open and two intertwined hobbits appeared, happy to have found a way to keep from hyperventilation and glad they no longer had to hide with their little ‘cure’.
Gandalf watched through a crack in the door, Gimli breathing heavily at his waist not helping much with his current staff-balancing issues. When everyone came out of hiding, Gimli laid his hand on the e door as if he would go in. Gandalf stopped him. “Where are YOU going?” He whispered.
“To join them. ‘And you have my axe’ and all.”
“Nobody wants us Gimli. We’re supposed to just stand out here and breath heavy.”
“I did not come all this way just to watch an elf and four hobbits shag two men silly. I’m going in.” Gimli argued.
Gandalf sighed, and did the most logical thing he could in the situation. He hit Gimli over the head with his staff. His magical one.
Not five minutes later Sam and Frodo joined the two-man, two-hobbit, one-elf orgy on the bed. Frodo heard dimly a thud out in the hallway, but paid it no attention.
****
Two amused elves watched from their balcony, stifling giggles, their faces warped into permanent smirks as they watched through room window that someone had forgotten to close. A third elf joined them, and the three of them fought together to keep from laughing. The laughter issue was effectually solved when Glorfindel stripped naked and Erestor and Elrond chased him inside Elrond’s bedroom.