The old ways

THE OLD WAYS


Haldir glared at the fellowship, all of Lorien had known that they would approach sooner or later but no one was very happy about this fact. Galadriel had agreed to protect and help them in their cause, ignoring various complaints and angered faces. 'So', Haldir mused, 'I am the lucky one to bring them into the depths of the woods'. He furrowed his brow and sighed. Surely now, he would have to watch over them for as long as the fellowship stayed within their realm. 'Great, why me?'
He scanned the little group of people again. They looked tired and worn, desperate and full of sorrow. Not at all like the great heroes he had been expecting. No sign of them being overeagerly proud or cocksure. A sudden wave of pity washed over the Lorien guard and he smiled a little as he addressed Aragorn to welcome them, when suddenly an all too familiar face showed a little further away. Haldir sucked in his breath hard.
The fine featured face was full of distress and paler than usual. The skin had a waxy sheen to it ,traces of dirt and scratches marred the natural beauty of it. Long, usually perfectly groomed and braided hair, hung matted and tangled over the strong shoulders. But to Haldir it still was the most fair and desirable person. Bright and luminous blue eyes stared back at him, showing recognition and joy, but also traces of fear.
Haldir tried to stay calm and turned back to Aragorn, asking them to follow him to the Lady of the woods.
On the way up the long and winding staircase, Haldir thought of nothing else but the young elf following him.
'Ha, young.' Neaone one millennia had passed since they last saw each other. One couldn't call that one young anymore. He must have nearly reached his three thousands birthday by now. Haldir tried to glance back at the elf without causing any suspicion.
He was glad when Galadriel released him of his duty as soon as they had reached her and he hurried back down again.

Night had fallen in Lorien and the fellowship rested beneath the comforting branches of the Mallorn trees. Haldir had not returned to the outposts again, knowing he wouldn't have reached them before it grew dark and it would become to dangerous on the borders of the woods. He wasn't very comfortable being around the strangers, but tried not to show it too openly. Leaning his broad back against one of the trees, steadying his left hand holding a chalice with wine on his drawn up knee, he contemplated on his situation. Usually Haldir would have heard the soft steps of her naked feet on the ground but his mind was too occupied to filter out the sounds and little noises of the night, so it was rather surprising for him he ahe addressed him.
"You should rest, Marchwarden." Galadriel's voice spoke of soft cushions and peaceful silence.
Haldir's head came up in a quick motion, but he relaxed instantly seeing her warm smile upon him.
"Nay, my lady. I cannot. Too many thoughts and questions are on my mind.\aladaladriel nodded and seated herself beside her guard on the ground, studying him closely.
"Thoughts about you and him, no doubt. Have you talked to Legolas?"
Haldir shook his head and took another sip of his wine.
"You should, you know. So much time has passed and I can see that you are still troubled by your actions of the past."
"We were too eager and he was too young then. I should have known better. It was all a mistake. One I would gladly forget." Haldir sighed.
Galadriel chuckled a little. "Oh no, my faithful Galadrim. I know you better. Your heart was always with him, was it not. You have been yearning for him over the last ten centuries and it was your own pride that kept you from going to him, asking him to come back to you. You choose freely to be bonded to him, it was you who initiated it and now that he is back you hide and pretend not are.are. Go to him, talk to him. Try to sort things out."
Haldir's eyes shone with the brightness of unshed tears listening to the Lady's speech. "Maybe. Maybe I will go to him, but maybe I won't. I cannot promise anything my Lady. We hurt each other badly, we said things that are not easy to forgive."
Galadriel rose from the ground and patted him lightly on the shoulder, "What you two have is always worth forgiving. You belong together, not apart. I have watched you over the last years. Your heart is growing heavier with each day that passes without the one you love. It is not getting any better, is it? Are you willing to loose him forever?" she turned and headed back to where she had come from.
Haldir stayed beneath the canopy of trees and stared into the night.

Merry had woken to the sound of clattering dishes and the smell of fresh food. He wrinkled his nose, sat up and met Aragorn's smile "Good morning, Merry." As Aragorn got up and turned to leave, Merry shot a quick glance at the food. "Aren't you having any, Aragorn?"
"I already ate a bit. Don't worry it's all for you. Legolas has already left and Gimli..., well you can hear what he is doing, can't you." Aragorn inclined his head a little and left the clearing.
Merry turned to his left side to wake Pippin, who was still snoring soundly.
"Hey, Pip! Wanna miss breakfast?" He shook the sleeping form firmly.
"What?" Pippin drowsily opened his eyes and tried to focus on his surroundings. "Is it that late already. First or second brekkie?"
Merry snickered "Elves only have one you dummie."
Pippin got up and beamed at the dishes that were sat on a pedestal near their sleeping area. "Goodie, but I don't think there is enough for all of us." He started loading food on a plate.
Merry glanced at the growing mountain of food on Pippin's plate and frowned. "Don't worry Pip. Gimli is still sleeping, Aragorn already had his and Legolas is off into the woods somewhere. Probably chewing on some nuts he finds."

Legolas wandered aimlessly through the woods and not having found any rest last night he felt worn out and tired. He had promised himself not to come to these parts of Middle earth again, but with the quest he had no choice but to follow the others.
He felt a wave of self-pity as he encountered places he had been before under much more pleasant circumstances. He quickly dismissed those feelings, squared his shoulders and quickened his pace, when he suddenly very nearly bumped into someone resting against a tree, obviously sleeping. Legolas glanced down and felt his pulse quickening. It was Haldir, who was half lying on the ground there before him. The younger elf tried quietly to retreat but the rustle of leaves beneath his feet was enough to wake the other elf.
Haldir looked up and stared at Legolas.
"I am sorry. I didn't know you were here. I will leave immediately." Legolas turned quickly and moved back the way he came.
"Wait!" Haldir's voice stopped him but he didn't glance back.
Haldir got up from the ground and moved behind Legolas putting a hand on the shoulder of his companion. The familiar, yet long missed, tingling ran up his arm as Haldir felt the bond between them flaring back into life again. He felt Legolas shoulder muscles trembling and he turned him around wanting to look into the face of the other.
Gods, how he had missed him. Galadriel had been right. His heart had bleed every single day. He had scolded himself for his actions in the past, but it had not only been his fault. Both had not been as understanding as they should have been. Maybe it was time to set things right.
"Legolas, meleth nín. Don't leave. Not again. Please, let us at least talk. Come, sit with me."
Legolas shivered underneath Haldir's touch, but he tried not to show his anxiety and nodded slowly. Haldir removed his hand and made an inviting gesture towards the tree he had been sitting under. They sat down in silence and both looked everywhere except at the other. Seconds passed by, seconds became minutes and minutes became hours. The fading light of the sun bathed the woods in a dark golden tone when Legolas finally addresses Haldir. "You wanted to talk. So why don't you".
Haldir glanced carefully at Legolas' features before answering. "I wanted to tell you so many things, but now I am at a loss for words."
"Maybe it is better if I leave then," Legolas pushed himself up and brushed leaves and dirt off his leggings "since you obviously have no words for me."
"No! Wait!" Haldir jumped up and grabbed Legolas' elbow, not allowing him to move away. "I am sorry. It is not that I have no words for you, I am afraid that anything I will say will not be the right thing to say."
Legolas glared at Haldir's hand holding onto his elbow. "It seems to me, that you have lost you wits along with your words, Galadrim."
Haldir visibly flinched at those words and Legolas regretted his temper immediately. They had separated fighting and now they met again fighting. Heuld uld have learned to control his temper. He could see the hurt in Haldir's eyes, it pained him, as it always had, to see his beloved troubled or sad. His 'beloved'. He mused a second or two about this word. Was he still his beloved. No, certainly not. Yes they had bonded themselves to another well over a millennia ago, but at what prize. Elves, once bonded were true to each other no matter what. With that they had denied themselves the chance to take another par or or bonded for good. But had he ever desired another? No, of course he hadn't. He had always only desired Haldir, dreamed of him and cried about the loss. If Haldir just hadn't been so stubborn, maybe then.....
Legolas was pu out out of his thoughts when he felt Haldir move away from him, letting go of his elbow. He couldn't let this happen again, he was older now, more mature, more calm and yes, more forgiving. "Haldir, melme. Don't leave. Forgive my cruel words. I should keep my temper in check, I should have learned that by now, but you know that has always been my flaw, hasn't it." Legolas tried a little smile and now it was his turn to stop the other from leaving. He softly laid his hand an Haldir's arm and waited for the reaction of the older elf.
Haldir felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but his pride got the better of him and he swallowed hard tilting his head back to Legolas.
He saw the shy smile and all his pride and frustration burned to ashes. That smile, it had been that smile in the first place, that made him fall for the young and inexperienced prince from the northern regions. He turned to face his love and took a breath to answer him, but he never had the chance. Warm, soft and soothing lips claimed his own and the world around him started spinning. Legolas tasted of the beech wood trees of Mirkwood, of freedom and spring rain, of everything he so clearly remembered. He lost himself in this kiss, never wanting it to end. A probing tongue, carefully stroked between his lips, parting them, asking for entrance. A blinding flash hit his body as his tongue met his lovers and the kiss grew deeper and more demanding.
Haldir clung to Legolas' tunic as if it would save him from drowning and keep him sane. He didn't notice going down to his knees pulling his beloved with him, he didn't feel being lowered to the ground and the weight of another body on his own, so lost he was in the long forgotten feeling of this kiss.