Forgotten and Forsaken

Title: Forgotten and Forsaken
Author: Erik LeBeau
Contact: eriklebeau@hithanaur.net
Fandom: LOTR
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or any characters, lands, or items from the Tolkien world. They belong to their respective copyright holders.
Archive: LoM, OEAM, AFF.net, Melethryn
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Ilye
Cast: Elurin/Elured
Warnings: Implied underage sexual situations, twincest
Summary: The untold fate of Elrond's twin uncles, told at last.
AN: Thank you to Orchyd and Ilye for all their help. This is one of three pieces all revolving around a song Ilye infected Orchyd with. Once the stories of Elros/Elrond and Elladan/Elrohir were written, the last of the Peredhil twins needed to be told, Elured/Elurin. Look for "The End of Everything" by Orchyd Constyne and "Lay in the Key of Melancholy" by Ilye. The song can be found: http://www.hithanaur.net/keane.mp3

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"I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and i need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and i need somewhere to begin..."
Somewhere We Only Know - Keane

We were never supposed to survive.

They chased us into the woods and left us for dead. At least we were spared the sight of our parents being slaughtered. Many of our playmates were not so lucky. Or perhaps they were the fortunate ones after all; they not not have to live with those images seared into their minds. My brother and I, though, could barely see the trees through which we ran, for the memory of so much death stayed imprinted on our eyes, like staring at the sun for too long.

We ran for days, never knowing how many, or noting the boundary of one to the next. The forest was so thick that the sun barely penetrated, and all around us lay lodged in perpetual twilight. We knew little of the ways of survival: which berries could be eaten and which could kill, or how to find water when our lips were blistered with thirst. When we happened upon a stream, we drank until our stomachs were bloated. The pain of hunger drove us finally to watch the small animals around us, noting which plants they avoided and which they consumed.

We were weak and drowsy from hunger and exposure when the sound of footsteps pulled us back to alertness. These were not the gentle forest sounds of deer or squirrel. They were the harsh discordant crunching of Elven boots. I had to carry my brother, so weak was he, but I pulled us both into a thicket to hide.

He came into the clearing a moment later -- the oldest one. I never learned the story of how he came to be without his hand, but I silently praised whatever virtuous soul had struck him such a blow. This was the Elf who orchestrated the death of everyone I knew, after all. He called our names then, cried out for us with a voice made ragged from overuse. And how I hated him in that instant! Our torment in the forest was not enough for the monster; he'd returned to destroy us utterly. Had I been of age and strong, I would have faced him with blade in hand, though it meant my death.

I had to hold my hand over my brother's mouth, and I bit down on my swollen tongue to keep from crying out, but we remained silent. Though the brambles pierced our flesh, we dared not move until the tall one moved on. Only when his footfalls no longer echoed against the trees did we venture out from our refuge.

Why do these thoughts return to me now, so many long years later? I know it is only because I have come once again to the woods of my youth after the absence of centuries.

Much has changed, and nothing has changed. The trees still stand, stronger and broader; the animals scurry about, heedless of my presence. A fo's 's memory is long, and this one remembers me and welcomes me as an old friend. The canopy of leaves, once oppressive, now comforts me like a blanket. We spent many a year here, my brother and I, among these trees.

I still remember the clearing by the stream where we first moved beyond childish fumbling. The sun was hidden behind a veil of clouds and my twin lay beside me, nude and golden in the dappled light. We were not far from our majority, but in the wilds, age took on a new meaning. I reached out to cup his face, drawing my younger brother's lips to mine. Slowly I plundered his mouth, eagerly drinking his whimpers and coaxing him into arousal.

We were inexperienced, and there was no one for us to ask, and on the bank of that river I first took him. I knew enough to find something to ease his pain, but the gel of the water plants could not stop his pained cries as I entered his body, the tears on his cheeks like a knife in my chest. I moved carefully within him, teasing his lips and stroking him as I had so many times before. He was perfect. He was beautiful, flushed and panting my name, and I claimed him as mine. I have never known the peace I knew when we moved as one, when our hearts beat together and we sung our pleasure to the forest.

We had only a few short years of solitary bliss to love one another. Laughing and running through the cool brush, swimming in the dark deeps of the lakes and rivers, loving on the sun-warmed rocks. I found my mate in my brother, and we knew not the sins we committed in our acts. But, I will not trade those memories for a clean conscience; I loved my brother in mind, heart, soul and body. A golden time I will forever remember.

But, the land is changing now; the wars of my people have been fought and won. And I am alone.

Elurin fell from the embankment as we ran from the foul hunters in our wood. I scaled a tree and turned to offer him my hand, but he slipped on the muddy ledge and tumbled into the ravine. I am haunted by his face, by the fear in his voice when he called my name. Then the glamhoth swarmed over him, and I saw him no more.

I should have died that day with him. But, instinct is hard to deny, and my instincts drove me to survive. I ran. I ran until my lungs burst from the effort and my tears choked me. I fell to my knees and screamed my grief to the night sky. I was alone.

For years I have wandered the roads far from this wood, this place of memory. I avoided my kin, stayed away from the Men who smelled of sweat and blood, and never crossed the path of those foul hunters. I wandered alone.

Always alone.

Then they came. The shining ones. They fought on these shores and I returned to my wood, to my brother. The world will shift, the lands will change, but my tale will end here.

In this wood.

Alone.

The End