Dominic Monaghan vs. The Robo-Lesbians
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Lord of the Rings Movies › General › Lord of the Ring Stars
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Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › General › Lord of the Ring Stars
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,693
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is work of fiction! I do not know the celebrity(ies) I am writing about, and I do not profit from these writings.
Dominic Monaghan vs. The Robo-Lesbians
Disclaimer: I don't know these actors or anyone associated with them, or anything about their sexualities. I just have a grand old time spectulating my slash-loving head off ;). This is all fictitious, a.k.a. MADE UP. I do not profit from this in any way, except via amusement. I am a poor college student, so please don't sue me. I have to sell my own plasma just to afford a bag of Doritos. Thank you, and enjoy the story!
~*~
A/N: Okay, a little background info is required for reading this. Me and two friends, Marla and Crystal, were horsing around in a chat room the other night, and I ended up writing this little piece of insanity completely on a whim. We are not Mary Sues in any way (thank God), and there is no one and nothing to blame for this besides my sick and twisted imagination. Crystal's nickname in the story that you will see is bally lly because she is, in fact, obsessed with Nick Carter's penis. The "G-spot" joke is also an inside thing, because she always complains that she cannot find her G-spot, despite detailed instructions from Cosmopolitan magazine. The person named Crispin who is mentioned is a former friend of ours who turned into a complete bitch, backstabbed us, and we pretty much haven't spoken in years. "MST"s stands for "Mystery Science Theater". Pumpkin and Sunnybunny are two girls who write MSTs, wherein they make horrible, hilarious fun of frighteningly bad Mary-Sue fic authors. So yeah. There you go.
A/N 2: Elijah mockery, foul language, male/male sexual relations and lesbian robots contained herein. You have been warned. Also, feedback is a very, very good thing. =D
~*~
Dominic Monaghan vs. The Robo-Lesbians
~*~
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived two young girls, Amy and Marla. Amy and Marla were best friends, and had been for quite some time. Nothing could ever come between them, not stormy rain or dark of night. Everything was lovely and happy until one day when a movie called "Lord of the Rings" came out.
You see, the "Lord of the Rings" movie was filled with a glorious assortment of gorgeous-looking actors from all over the world. But there was one in particular that caught the eye of both Amy and Marla: a cheeky, crooked-nosed English lad by the name of Dominic Monaghan. Amy and Marla were awed by the English lad Dominic Monaghan. His unique T-shirts, devilish smirk and dark eyes struck multiple chords of lust in their long-dormant libidos. He even wore eyeliner, an added bonus. However, for the first time, Amy and Marla found themselves fighting over something. Fighting over the English lad Dominic Monaghan. Both girls were aghast--what to do! Amy tried to distract herself by reading mounds upon mounds of stories involving Orlando Bloom being fucked by Viggo Mortensen, but to no avail. Her thoughts kept wandering back to the sexy Dominic Monaghan. She thought of him quite often. Thought of Dominic and Elijah Wood, naked and sweaty, moaning into each other's mouths. Thought of Dominic and Orlando Bloom, Dominic ordering Orlando to "bend over and take it like the bitch that you are." Marla simply rolled her eyes and plotted to keep Dominic all for herself.
So one day, Marla distracted Amy by uploading a fuckton of photomanips of Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom having wild, sweaty sex. Marla cackled evilly and rubbed her palms together as the 747 taking her to Los Angeles taxied down the runway. Amy, having realized Marla's dastardly plan, managed to tear herself away from the computer long enough to hitch a bus to L.A. "Oh I hope she hasn't gotten to him yet!" Amy prayed fervently, clutching her printed out copy of Pumpkin and Sunnybunny's MSTs.
~*~Meanwhile, in L.A.~*~
The English lad Dominic Monaghan was lounging beside his pool at his home, sipping a pina colada. He watched with amusement as his best friend and sometimes lover Elijah Wood pranced about in only a hot pink speedo, occasionally dipping his toe in the water and then shrieking like a little girl at the feeling of the cold.
"Oh, Dom!" Elijah wailed. "Does this speedo make me look fat?"
"No," Dom snickered. "It makes you look gay as all fuck."
"Dom! Don't be silly, you know I'm straight. Everyone knows that. I dated Franka Potente!" Elijah exclaimed.
"...Who is German and therefore probably a man anyway," finished Dom. "Give it up, Lij. You're about as straight as a winding mountain road."
At that very moment, a little Texan head poked its way through the bushes. Marla peered through her super high quality binoculars at the sight before her.
"Mmm, God Dom is soooo hot. I want to corner him, rip his pants off, and...Holy shit, is that Elijah? Wearing a pink speedo? What the fuck crazy world have I wandered into?" Marla wondered aloud.
The English Lad Dominic Monaghan and the Very, Very Gay Elijah Wood remained oblivious to the stranger in their midst. Elijah had Dom choking on his drink as he laughed at Elijah's "official Hobbit butt-dance."
"Oh God," thought Mars. "If he keeps prancing around like a little fairy, I'll *never* get to Dom!"
All of a sudden, a loud whirring noise was heard. The trees were blowing fiercely. All three individuals looked up and saw a helicopter with the words "LONG LIVE SLASHY HOBBITS" painted on the side hovering over the pool. The pilot was Sir Ian McKellen...and next to him, was Amy.
"NOOOO!" Mars screamed internally.
A rope ladder trickled down from the copter and down Amy climbed, a very bewildered looking Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen in tow. "Wh-why are we here?" asked Orlando wide-eyed. "One minute Viggo was fucking me into next week and the next, this crazy looking girl appeared and now we're here."
"I WIELD THE POWER OF SLASH!" Amy screamed. "SURRENDER NOW, ENGLISH LAD DOMINIC MONAGHAN!"
"What the fuck?" Said the English Lad Dominic Monaghan. "Who the hell are you? What do you want with me? And why the fuck are Orlando and Viggo naked?"
The Very, Very Gay Elijah Wood's eyes widened as he spied a certain piece of Viggo's anatomy.
"OH MY GOD, VIGGO HAS A SMALL PEE-PEE!" he shrieked.
Viggo shot Elijah a death glare as Orlando screeched, "DON'T YOU DARE IMPUGN THE HONOR OF MY SCRUFFY BUT MANLY BOYFRIEND'S PENIS!"
"I want you as my SLAVE!" Amy bellowed. "My slave at the Ridiculously Overly-Affectionate Bordering On Gay Hobbit Theme Park!" At that moment Marla darted out from the bushes.
"LEAVE THE ENGLISH LAD DOMINIC MONAGHAN ALONE!" she shrieked, jumping in front of The English Lad Dominic Monaghan.
"Bwahahaha, you cannot defeat me!" shouted Amy.
"Yes I can!" Marla yelled right back. "I can fight you using the power of LESBIANS!"
"WHATTT??!" exclaimed Elijah. "LESBIANS? But, but they have vaginas! Vaginas are ICKY!"
"Silence, Very Very Gay one!" said Amy.
Staying directly in front of The English Lad Dominic Monaghan, Marla raised her arms upward and cried out, "SEND IN THE LESBIANS!"
For absolutely no logical reason whatsoever, the sliding door to the English Lad Dominic Monaghan's house opened, and out came the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
"I am the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal! Except that I am not a lesb Wel Well, just on weekends!" announced Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. "I have complete command and control over EVERY lesbian in the contiguous United States! And Alaska and Hawaii! They are at my beck and call! Quiver with fear, evil Amy, for you are now at my MERCY!" screamed the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
The English Lad Dominic Monaghan blinked his eyes in disbelief. "Shit...I think I drank too much Guinness." He looked over at the Still Very, Very Gay Elijah. "Lij, you *are* wearing a bright fucking pink speedo, right?"
The Very, Very Gay Elijah replied "That's right, honey!" and blew The English Lad Dominic Monaghan a kiss.
"You better back up off of my man, you little fairy!" Marla yelled, having taken on the identity of a she-Rambo. "I'll protect you, English Lad Dominic Monaghan! You are my dearest dear! I love you! Oh yeah, and I want to fuck you, too!"
The English Lad Dominic Monaghan stared at Marla. "...Who the fuck are you?" he asked. "Why are there little Texan women popping out of my shrubbery?" The English Lad Dominic Monaghan exclaimed. "Oh, bugger it. You've got nice tits," he said and swooped in to kiss Marla passionately while his hand groped her right boob.
The Very, Very Gay Elijah wailed aloud. "Dominic! NOOO!" he cried.
"Aww, Lij, no worries," said Orlando, who had gone back to making out with Viggo some time ago. "You can join us!
"
"A HOMOSEXUAL ALLIANCE?! NEVER!" shrieked the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. The Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal pushed a small, clitoris-shaped button that appeared magically in the air. "MY ARMY OF LESBIANS WILL NOW DESTROY YOU!!! And they are all clones! Programmed to act exactly as I say and do what I tell them! I had them SPECIALLY designed to resemble a certain man-hating psycho bitch from Bumblefuck, Texas whose name begins with C and ends with UNT!"
Amy stared wide-eyed at the army of lesbians that emerged from the house.
"Oh, no! Crispin-Bots!" she cried. "Viggo! Orlando! Elijah!"
Three annoyed "What?"s rang in Amy's ears as the boys finally stopped going down on each other and took some time to breathe.
"You three must summon the power of the Gay! Unite and defeat the evil Lesbian Crispin-Bots!" said Amy.
All at once, '80s cartoon theme music came on and Orlando, Viggo, and Elijah shot into the air, beams of colored light trailing behind them.
"Hips!" shouted the Very, Very Gay Elijah.
"Ass!" shouted Orlando.
"Cock!" shouted Viggo.
All three chanted at once, "When our powers combine, we are CAPTAIN FAGGOT!!!"
"Jesus fuck, I must be stoned," The English Lad Dominic Monaghan muttered, not believing the sight before him. "Hey. Hey, Well-Endowed Texan Girl," he said, pulling on Marla's sleeve. "Show me how you use the power of the lesbians," said the English Lad Dominic Monaghan, grinning cheekily.
"CRISPIN-BOTS!" blared Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. "Prepare to fire your G-Spot Laser Beams!"
Very, Very Gay Elijah's big, wide blue eyes got even bigger and wider and bluer, if such a thing was possible.
"Do not fire your lasers until I give the signal! We must all fire in synchronicity or it will not work!" The Crispin-Bots stood at the ready, fingers firmly on the trigger. "Wait! Wait. I can't--I can't seem to find mine" stammered Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
All at once, Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd appeared, dressed in full Pippin attire.
"...Billy?! What the fuck are YOU doing here?!" exclaimed the Esh Lsh Lad Dominic Monaghan.
"I'm Her Royal Majesty's Official G-Spot Finder!" Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd said in a chipper tone of voice. "And you, English Lad Dominic Monaghan, you have quite a little potty mouth on you, you do. We'll have to see if we can correct that later, eh?" Billy winked at him and walked over to Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal before the English Lad Dominic Monaghan had a chance to respond.
"Now you, my dear, are far too tense. S'why ye can't find your G-spot!" smiled Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd.
"Back away, short, curly-haired Scottish creature! I can find the trigger just fine, and when I do, I will DESTROY you, right along with the others!" howled Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
But Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd just smiled impishly. "Shhh, m'lady. Hold still. 'Twill not hurt a bit."
Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenuand and High Lesbian Commander Crystal grew wide-eyed as he worked his ministrations on her.
"Wh-wh-what is happening?" worried Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. "Something strange is happening to me. I--the lesbians, they--my army" she turned and saw the Captain Faggot Trio smashing the heads off of the Crispin-Bots left and right.
Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd simply smirked and wiggled his eyebrows as Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal's head began to twitch. "Lesbian...powers...diminishing..." Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal whispered.
Just then, Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd looked over at Marla and she knew it was time.
"English Lad Dominic Monaghan! I have to go fight Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. You must stay here. It isn't safe for your hotness to be out there and in danger."
English Lad Dominic Monaghan blinked for a moment. Then: "Um, okay." He kissed Marla passionately once more, giving her other boob a firm squeeze, while looking over her shoulder and discreetly eyeballing The Faggot Trio in action.
~*~End Part 1~*~
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Wish I would never write anything EVER again? Let me know by leaving some feedback! Thanks folks!
~*~
A/N: Okay, a little background info is required for reading this. Me and two friends, Marla and Crystal, were horsing around in a chat room the other night, and I ended up writing this little piece of insanity completely on a whim. We are not Mary Sues in any way (thank God), and there is no one and nothing to blame for this besides my sick and twisted imagination. Crystal's nickname in the story that you will see is bally lly because she is, in fact, obsessed with Nick Carter's penis. The "G-spot" joke is also an inside thing, because she always complains that she cannot find her G-spot, despite detailed instructions from Cosmopolitan magazine. The person named Crispin who is mentioned is a former friend of ours who turned into a complete bitch, backstabbed us, and we pretty much haven't spoken in years. "MST"s stands for "Mystery Science Theater". Pumpkin and Sunnybunny are two girls who write MSTs, wherein they make horrible, hilarious fun of frighteningly bad Mary-Sue fic authors. So yeah. There you go.
A/N 2: Elijah mockery, foul language, male/male sexual relations and lesbian robots contained herein. You have been warned. Also, feedback is a very, very good thing. =D
~*~
Dominic Monaghan vs. The Robo-Lesbians
~*~
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived two young girls, Amy and Marla. Amy and Marla were best friends, and had been for quite some time. Nothing could ever come between them, not stormy rain or dark of night. Everything was lovely and happy until one day when a movie called "Lord of the Rings" came out.
You see, the "Lord of the Rings" movie was filled with a glorious assortment of gorgeous-looking actors from all over the world. But there was one in particular that caught the eye of both Amy and Marla: a cheeky, crooked-nosed English lad by the name of Dominic Monaghan. Amy and Marla were awed by the English lad Dominic Monaghan. His unique T-shirts, devilish smirk and dark eyes struck multiple chords of lust in their long-dormant libidos. He even wore eyeliner, an added bonus. However, for the first time, Amy and Marla found themselves fighting over something. Fighting over the English lad Dominic Monaghan. Both girls were aghast--what to do! Amy tried to distract herself by reading mounds upon mounds of stories involving Orlando Bloom being fucked by Viggo Mortensen, but to no avail. Her thoughts kept wandering back to the sexy Dominic Monaghan. She thought of him quite often. Thought of Dominic and Elijah Wood, naked and sweaty, moaning into each other's mouths. Thought of Dominic and Orlando Bloom, Dominic ordering Orlando to "bend over and take it like the bitch that you are." Marla simply rolled her eyes and plotted to keep Dominic all for herself.
So one day, Marla distracted Amy by uploading a fuckton of photomanips of Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom having wild, sweaty sex. Marla cackled evilly and rubbed her palms together as the 747 taking her to Los Angeles taxied down the runway. Amy, having realized Marla's dastardly plan, managed to tear herself away from the computer long enough to hitch a bus to L.A. "Oh I hope she hasn't gotten to him yet!" Amy prayed fervently, clutching her printed out copy of Pumpkin and Sunnybunny's MSTs.
~*~Meanwhile, in L.A.~*~
The English lad Dominic Monaghan was lounging beside his pool at his home, sipping a pina colada. He watched with amusement as his best friend and sometimes lover Elijah Wood pranced about in only a hot pink speedo, occasionally dipping his toe in the water and then shrieking like a little girl at the feeling of the cold.
"Oh, Dom!" Elijah wailed. "Does this speedo make me look fat?"
"No," Dom snickered. "It makes you look gay as all fuck."
"Dom! Don't be silly, you know I'm straight. Everyone knows that. I dated Franka Potente!" Elijah exclaimed.
"...Who is German and therefore probably a man anyway," finished Dom. "Give it up, Lij. You're about as straight as a winding mountain road."
At that very moment, a little Texan head poked its way through the bushes. Marla peered through her super high quality binoculars at the sight before her.
"Mmm, God Dom is soooo hot. I want to corner him, rip his pants off, and...Holy shit, is that Elijah? Wearing a pink speedo? What the fuck crazy world have I wandered into?" Marla wondered aloud.
The English Lad Dominic Monaghan and the Very, Very Gay Elijah Wood remained oblivious to the stranger in their midst. Elijah had Dom choking on his drink as he laughed at Elijah's "official Hobbit butt-dance."
"Oh God," thought Mars. "If he keeps prancing around like a little fairy, I'll *never* get to Dom!"
All of a sudden, a loud whirring noise was heard. The trees were blowing fiercely. All three individuals looked up and saw a helicopter with the words "LONG LIVE SLASHY HOBBITS" painted on the side hovering over the pool. The pilot was Sir Ian McKellen...and next to him, was Amy.
"NOOOO!" Mars screamed internally.
A rope ladder trickled down from the copter and down Amy climbed, a very bewildered looking Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen in tow. "Wh-why are we here?" asked Orlando wide-eyed. "One minute Viggo was fucking me into next week and the next, this crazy looking girl appeared and now we're here."
"I WIELD THE POWER OF SLASH!" Amy screamed. "SURRENDER NOW, ENGLISH LAD DOMINIC MONAGHAN!"
"What the fuck?" Said the English Lad Dominic Monaghan. "Who the hell are you? What do you want with me? And why the fuck are Orlando and Viggo naked?"
The Very, Very Gay Elijah Wood's eyes widened as he spied a certain piece of Viggo's anatomy.
"OH MY GOD, VIGGO HAS A SMALL PEE-PEE!" he shrieked.
Viggo shot Elijah a death glare as Orlando screeched, "DON'T YOU DARE IMPUGN THE HONOR OF MY SCRUFFY BUT MANLY BOYFRIEND'S PENIS!"
"I want you as my SLAVE!" Amy bellowed. "My slave at the Ridiculously Overly-Affectionate Bordering On Gay Hobbit Theme Park!" At that moment Marla darted out from the bushes.
"LEAVE THE ENGLISH LAD DOMINIC MONAGHAN ALONE!" she shrieked, jumping in front of The English Lad Dominic Monaghan.
"Bwahahaha, you cannot defeat me!" shouted Amy.
"Yes I can!" Marla yelled right back. "I can fight you using the power of LESBIANS!"
"WHATTT??!" exclaimed Elijah. "LESBIANS? But, but they have vaginas! Vaginas are ICKY!"
"Silence, Very Very Gay one!" said Amy.
Staying directly in front of The English Lad Dominic Monaghan, Marla raised her arms upward and cried out, "SEND IN THE LESBIANS!"
For absolutely no logical reason whatsoever, the sliding door to the English Lad Dominic Monaghan's house opened, and out came the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
"I am the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal! Except that I am not a lesb Wel Well, just on weekends!" announced Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. "I have complete command and control over EVERY lesbian in the contiguous United States! And Alaska and Hawaii! They are at my beck and call! Quiver with fear, evil Amy, for you are now at my MERCY!" screamed the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
The English Lad Dominic Monaghan blinked his eyes in disbelief. "Shit...I think I drank too much Guinness." He looked over at the Still Very, Very Gay Elijah. "Lij, you *are* wearing a bright fucking pink speedo, right?"
The Very, Very Gay Elijah replied "That's right, honey!" and blew The English Lad Dominic Monaghan a kiss.
"You better back up off of my man, you little fairy!" Marla yelled, having taken on the identity of a she-Rambo. "I'll protect you, English Lad Dominic Monaghan! You are my dearest dear! I love you! Oh yeah, and I want to fuck you, too!"
The English Lad Dominic Monaghan stared at Marla. "...Who the fuck are you?" he asked. "Why are there little Texan women popping out of my shrubbery?" The English Lad Dominic Monaghan exclaimed. "Oh, bugger it. You've got nice tits," he said and swooped in to kiss Marla passionately while his hand groped her right boob.
The Very, Very Gay Elijah wailed aloud. "Dominic! NOOO!" he cried.
"Aww, Lij, no worries," said Orlando, who had gone back to making out with Viggo some time ago. "You can join us!
"
"A HOMOSEXUAL ALLIANCE?! NEVER!" shrieked the Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. The Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal pushed a small, clitoris-shaped button that appeared magically in the air. "MY ARMY OF LESBIANS WILL NOW DESTROY YOU!!! And they are all clones! Programmed to act exactly as I say and do what I tell them! I had them SPECIALLY designed to resemble a certain man-hating psycho bitch from Bumblefuck, Texas whose name begins with C and ends with UNT!"
Amy stared wide-eyed at the army of lesbians that emerged from the house.
"Oh, no! Crispin-Bots!" she cried. "Viggo! Orlando! Elijah!"
Three annoyed "What?"s rang in Amy's ears as the boys finally stopped going down on each other and took some time to breathe.
"You three must summon the power of the Gay! Unite and defeat the evil Lesbian Crispin-Bots!" said Amy.
All at once, '80s cartoon theme music came on and Orlando, Viggo, and Elijah shot into the air, beams of colored light trailing behind them.
"Hips!" shouted the Very, Very Gay Elijah.
"Ass!" shouted Orlando.
"Cock!" shouted Viggo.
All three chanted at once, "When our powers combine, we are CAPTAIN FAGGOT!!!"
"Jesus fuck, I must be stoned," The English Lad Dominic Monaghan muttered, not believing the sight before him. "Hey. Hey, Well-Endowed Texan Girl," he said, pulling on Marla's sleeve. "Show me how you use the power of the lesbians," said the English Lad Dominic Monaghan, grinning cheekily.
"CRISPIN-BOTS!" blared Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. "Prepare to fire your G-Spot Laser Beams!"
Very, Very Gay Elijah's big, wide blue eyes got even bigger and wider and bluer, if such a thing was possible.
"Do not fire your lasers until I give the signal! We must all fire in synchronicity or it will not work!" The Crispin-Bots stood at the ready, fingers firmly on the trigger. "Wait! Wait. I can't--I can't seem to find mine" stammered Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
All at once, Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd appeared, dressed in full Pippin attire.
"...Billy?! What the fuck are YOU doing here?!" exclaimed the Esh Lsh Lad Dominic Monaghan.
"I'm Her Royal Majesty's Official G-Spot Finder!" Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd said in a chipper tone of voice. "And you, English Lad Dominic Monaghan, you have quite a little potty mouth on you, you do. We'll have to see if we can correct that later, eh?" Billy winked at him and walked over to Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal before the English Lad Dominic Monaghan had a chance to respond.
"Now you, my dear, are far too tense. S'why ye can't find your G-spot!" smiled Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd.
"Back away, short, curly-haired Scottish creature! I can find the trigger just fine, and when I do, I will DESTROY you, right along with the others!" howled Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal.
But Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd just smiled impishly. "Shhh, m'lady. Hold still. 'Twill not hurt a bit."
Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenuand and High Lesbian Commander Crystal grew wide-eyed as he worked his ministrations on her.
"Wh-wh-what is happening?" worried Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. "Something strange is happening to me. I--the lesbians, they--my army" she turned and saw the Captain Faggot Trio smashing the heads off of the Crispin-Bots left and right.
Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd simply smirked and wiggled his eyebrows as Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal's head began to twitch. "Lesbian...powers...diminishing..." Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal whispered.
Just then, Duct Tape On Chest Hair Billy Boyd looked over at Marla and she knew it was time.
"English Lad Dominic Monaghan! I have to go fight Obsessed With Nick Carter's Weenus Grand High Lesbian Commander Crystal. You must stay here. It isn't safe for your hotness to be out there and in danger."
English Lad Dominic Monaghan blinked for a moment. Then: "Um, okay." He kissed Marla passionately once more, giving her other boob a firm squeeze, while looking over her shoulder and discreetly eyeballing The Faggot Trio in action.
~*~End Part 1~*~
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Wish I would never write anything EVER again? Let me know by leaving some feedback! Thanks folks!