Stuck With A Kiss

Stuck With A Kiss

By: Bonnie
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Karl/Orlando Sean B/Viggo
Summary: Sean and Viggo get back at Karl and Orlando, and things start to get a bit sticky.
Feedback: I am a feedback whore.
Disclaimers: Oh yeah this all happened. Really, I was there. I even had an orgy with Karl, Orlando, Sean and Viggo while I was at it.
Notes: Thanks to Jaelawyn for the beta. lol Also thank you to everyone who helped me with my 'sticky' research.:)
Warnings: All kidding aside in this fic DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! You have been warned.


(// indicates a flashback)


//"Karl, love?" Orlando said, leaning over to his lover and looking at the pages of the book he was reading. Karl finished reading the page, and then gave up his attention to his lover beside him in bed.


"What?" Taking off his glasses, he looked into the deep chocolate eyes that were staring right at him. He could feel the heat rise in his body and wanted so badly to taste those soft pink lips that were inches away from his face.


"Have you ever just wanted to be..." Orlando was searching for the right words, his brow furrowed as he thought, "taken?"


"I am taken. I've got you." Karl leaned in to kiss Orlando, but Orlando pulled back. Surprise showed on Karl's face and his dark eyes reflected it. Orlando didn't notice.


"No, that's not what I meant. I mean, just taken, like by a complete stranger an' have wild, rough, sex right on the spot."


"You mean sort of like rape?" Karl was a bit confused.


"No, love. One 'o those fate kinda things. Like bein' all connected in the moment and such." Orlando drew himself into Karl and he wrapped an arm around Orlando. Reaching his hand up, Orlando lightly batted away a lock of brown hair from Karl's face.


"I suppose so." Karl said, then suspicion took over. "Why?"


"Just though I'd try somethin' new, 's all." The innocent look Orlando gave Karl didn't fool him.


"Orli..." Karl started to say warningly.


"What is your fantasy, Karl? What would be your ideal 'taken by a complete stranger and have your brains fucked out'?" Orlando asked, then gave Karl one of his big grins. Orlando *knew* Karl couldn't resist that. After a moment Karl looked away.


"Oh, I don't know..." Karl thought, he really didn't know what he wanted out of a situation like that. No one had ever asked. "I guess..." Karl licked his lips in thought. He could feel the chocolate eyes of Orlando staring at him pleadingly. "I guess being thrown into a back room somewhere, like a pub or restaurant, ya know? Then blindfolded and just dominated from behind." Karl returned his gaze to Orlando.


Orlando just kept smiling, then he nuzzled his head into Karl's shoulder and gently teased his nipple with his fingertips.


"Why do you want to know?" Karl asked again. But Orlando didn't answer. Instead he started to kiss Karl's neck and shoulder. He ran his tongue along Karl's jaw line, and then came up to his ear.


"Wait an' see, love." Orlando whispered seductively into Karl's ear. Nibbling on Karl's earlobe, Orlando's hand slid down Karl's chest and abdomen. All thought of the conversation he and Orlando had just had, flew out of Karl's mind when Orlando gripped his hardening cock.//


New Zealand: late 2000
A month later


The bar was quiet. Which was unusual, for what they were used to. Viggo and Sean had insisted on trying out a new one. A more 'posh' one, as Orlando had commented. It was made for more of the older crowd, but still very much enjoyable. There were pool rooms in the back, and Dominic and Billy had challenged Orlando and Viggo to a match. Whoever won had the loser buy them a drink.


"Who knew the hobbits could play pool?" Viggo said, taking a sip of bee beer. Billy took a sip of his and grinned.


"Thanks, Vig. Orlando." He nodded to their direction. Orlando pressed himself into Karl's side and Karl hooked an arm around Orlando. Karl then started to give butterfly kisses on Orlando's cheek.


"You two are makin' me sick." Sean commented. "It's been 7 months, and you're both still actin' like a couple of horny teenagers. What if Viggo and I did that, mmm?"


"Go ahead." Karl said, and planted another kiss on Orlando's cheek. Dominic just gave a small chuckle into his drink and Billy looked away as if he were disturbing someone on their private time.


Viggo looked at Sean and batted his eyes. He even puckered his lips out toward Sean in a mocking kiss.


"Fuck off, Vig." Sean said laughing, but then leaned in and gave a quick peck to his lover.


"Eeew." Orlando and Dominic said in unison. They loved to tease the two and their relationship. Ever since Sean had gotten divorced, he had been with Viggo; Orlando and Dominic said that he did it just so he could get Viggo in the sack.


The 6 of them chatted and drank some more until Orlando got up and left the table for a smoke. Karl was reluctant to let him go but knew he would be back. Or did he?


30 minutes went by. "Where the fuck is he?" Karl commented. He looked around the bar at the other men and women, but didn't see Orlando.


"Dunno mate," Dominic said, "maybe he went and found someone better."


"Or a woman." Billy chimed in.


They all laughed, and then Karl got up. "I'm gonna go look for him." He left the others to their drinks.


Karl went into the washrooms and the front of the bar. No Orlando. Then he checked around outside. Still no Orlando. One of the pool rooms maybe, Karl thought, so he headed back there. It was a lot quieter then the front of the bar. He could hear other parties using the rooms around him. He was about to call out Orlando's name when he felt a strong grip on the back of his shoulder and he was whipped around and shoved into an empty pool room.


His mind was racing with sudden panic. "What the fuck?" he said, startled. The room was dark and he couldn't see anything, the door he was pulled through was shut. Karl heard footsteps coming towards him. He adjusted his glasses in hopes he would be able to see who had done this.


"Who-" But Karl was cut off as a violent shove slammed him against the wall. Pain came through his shoulders and then he felt a passionate and fiery kiss upon his lips. Karl tried to resist but the mouth in front of him was on a warpath. Lips moved and touch, a tongue darted into Karl's mouth and searched him. Then the 'attacker' broke apart.


Karl felt a cheek brush his and lips press against his ear. A low purr along with a tongue said, "Take off your glasses, love."


Karl's heart leapt with relief. Orlando. "So-" Karl was cut off again as Orlando caught him off guard with another kiss. This time Karl kissed back trying to claim some dominance. He was surprised at how well Orlando was keeping him at bay.


"Take off your glasses." Another purr said. Karl reached up and took them off. Orlando took them out of his hands and dropped them on a nearby table.


"Hold still." Orlando purred again. Karl all of a sudden felt cloth cover his eyes. He blinked, and the room seemed darker. Orlando tied the cloth onto his head, then slowly sucked on Karl's lower lip. Orlando's hands traveled down Karl's sides and met in the middle of his groin. Fumbling, Orlando unfastened Karl's jeans. He then slipped a hand down Karl's boxers and took his length into a tight grip.


Karl gave out a soft moan at the same time Orlando made contact on him. The darkness and blindness around him sharpened all of his senses and made the feeling all that more intense. Orlando delved into Karl's mouth once more and tasted the alcohol and mint on his breath. Karl tried to get Orlando to back down once more with his kiss, but failed. Orlando wouldn't let him.


Taking his hand off of Karl's now hard cock, Orlando moved away. Karl thought he heard a small click somewhere and a faint glow through the black cloth told him Orlando had turned on a light.


Orlando was on him like a tidal wave. He ripped open Karl's shirt, spilling buttons everywhere. Karl didn't care, all he wanted was to be fucked. Orlando's attack on his neck shoulders and chest was that to rival 3 men at once. Orlando sucked, licked, kissed, and bit all over Karl until he was immersed with pleasure. Karl felt a tongue and teeth on his nipples, making the pink flesh hard and sensitive. He let out a low moan.


Karl reached out for Orlando instinctively but his hands were pushed back against the wall. "Hold still." Orlando whispered through heavy breaths. Karl obeyed, and gasped softly as Orlando drank him up once again.


The heat was rising in Karl to a most unbearable high. His body shuddered with pleasure as Orlando dipped his tongue into his navel. Teasing him, seducing him, making him beg for more.


Darkness still gripped Karl's sight but all his other sense made up for that. Karl could hear the soft intake of breath of Orlando as he moved around on his lower body. Feel the soft velvet of Orlando's tongue and the soft pink lips that was touching every inch.


Orlando's erection was begging to be let out, but he ignored it for the time being. Orlando wanted Karl to beg. Orlando pulled down Karl's boxers and jeans and took his hard cock into his hands. Slowly and teasingly Orlando put his lips to the head, and licked up the liquid seeping out.


"Oh god," Karl gave out a moan. His mind reeling as Orlando sucked on his head and cupping his balls.


Sweat covered both of them, and the intensity of the moment only made things hotter. A loud cheer and laughter from outside reminded the both of them that they were still in the bar. They didn't care.


Moving down Orlando took in more of Karl. The heat and soft skin in his mouth made Orlando go wild and he just took in more. Karl was in agonizing pleasure. His chest was heaving and he moaned through gasps of breath. Orlando left Karl and came up, dipping his tongue into Karl's mouth. Karl tasted the mixed flavours of himself and Orlando. He could barely hold on.


"Want more?" A heavy breathed Orlando said.


"God yes." Karl said pleading.


"Want me to fuck you?" Orlando teased.


"Fuck yes." Karl said as all composure left him.


"Want to feel me in you?" Another teasing request escaped Orlando's lips.


"Please. God, please, Orlando." Karl begged, and he felt two hands turn him around. He was now facing the wall. Orlando left his back and went away for what seemed like an eternity to Karl.


Orlando came back and undid his pants letting his erection free. He slipped on a condom and pressed himself into Karl's back.


Karl felt a tongue lick up a bead of sweat on the back of his neck. Orlando took a slick finger and ran it down Karl's lower back and down in to his ass. Instinctively Karl spread apart more, making it more comfortable. Orlando found the hot swollen flesh and slowly put a finger in. Karl shuddered.


"That good enough for you, love?" Orlando teased. He stuck another finger in.


"You know what I- ooh" Karl said but was cut off as Orlando found the sensitive spot.


"You want more?"


"Yes." Karl moaned. "Orli, I can't hold on." A shock of pleasure came over him as Orlando entered. Slowly at first but then faster. Drawing out and then back in.


The moans and gasps became cries and small screams. Orlando thrust, slamming Karl into the wall each time. Faster, harder...


A tidal wave of absolute bliss came over Karl as he came. Screaming out Orlando's name with it, and moaning. He felt as if the world was pulled out underneath him.


As soon as Orlando felt Karl come, he did the same and let the explosion of pleasure and heat take him. Rendering him to heap of absolute bliss. Orlando leaned hard on Karl as he did this pressing into him.


Orlando pressed a sweaty forehead into the back of Karl's neck. Gasping for breath he held Karl close. The stood there for minutes regaining the everyday feelings that they had before.


"God." Karl choked. Orlando drew out and took off the blindfold. Karl blinked at the sudden dim light and turned around. Orlando was all flustered and sweaty, but he wore a big smile.


"What was that-" Karl began then remembered, //Karl have you ever just wanted to be taken?// "You sneaky cunt."


"Mmmm see. I told ya I wanted to try somthin' new, Karl." Orlando said happily then he leaned and gave Karl a kiss. Not as violent as before but just as passionate.


"How did you know I'd look for ya?" Karl said, and he pulled up his pants, doing up the zipper.


"Just knew." Orlando shrugged, then smiled.


"Well, it was a good idea." Karl winked, "Mind if I keep this?" He waved the blindfold in front of Orlando. "I might want to repay you."


"Oooh, then by all means." They kissed again and then headed to the door back out into the bar.


"I hope we weren't too loud." Orlando said a little sheepishly, then stopped and looked at Karl. "Uh, Karl."


"What?" Karl asked, Orlando just pointed to his shirt. It was still torn open with almost all the buttons missing. "Oh." Karl said with a grin. "Well I didn't bring an extra." He looked around the room as if he might find a spare shirt.


"No need." Orlando said as he slipped of the light black sweater on him. He handed it to Karl and walked out of the room with his dark blue shirt that he was wearing underneath.


*Meanwhile during the 'action'*


"You would think they could be a little less quiet." Sean growled. Apparently Karl and Orlando were making more noise then they though. They had forgotten that the bar was a little less quiet then what they were used to. People closest to the back of the bar and pool rooms listened intently as the two lovers had their fun. Some had pointed in the direction of Viggo, Sean, Dominic and Billy saying that it was the two that were with them.


Sean avoided everyone's gaze and Viggo sipped his beer without complaint. Of course they were all a bit embarrassed, or actually Sean was embarrassed enough for the 4 of them, but Dominic and Billy took advantage of the situation. They made a bet to see who would come first.


"Karl." Dominic said with a grin. Billy sighed and reached for his wallet, pulled out $20 and handed it to his friend. They all listened, but they couldn't hear anything.


"Thank god." Sean said, his cheeks turning red. The people around them seemed to resume their prior conversations and paid no attention to what had taken place.


"Sean, it's nothing to get all pissed off about." Viggo said raising an eyebrow.


"You think we can come back here?" Sean said annoyed.


"Dun be so grumpy. They're just havin' fun." Billy said defensively. Then saw Karl and Orlando come back to the table. They had looked as if they just had the best sex of their lives. Orlando sat down and took a sip of his beer, and Karl did as well. No one said anything.


Finally Dominic broke the silence, "Have fun?"


"Oh yeah." Orlando said with a grin, he leaned in and gave Karl a kiss on his cheek. Karl blushed and looked at all of them.


"So," Sean said, "Proud of yourselves? I hope you know I can't show my face here again."


Karl looked surprised. "So you heard?"


"The whole fucking bar heard!" Sean said a little to loudly. Orlando grinned and leaned back in his chair as if he had just accomplished something great.


"Sean, the *whole* bar didn't hear, just a few people." Viggo said calmly. He knew that Sean's temper could get the best of him sometimes. Viggo didn't want anything to be said that shouldn't.


"Whatever." Sean said draining his glass, "I'm leavin'. Are you coming Viggo?" Viggo didn't really think he had a choice. Sean got up and left the table. Viggo followed but before he spoke to Karl and Orlando. "Don't worry about it, you know how he gets sometimes. I'll calm him down." He gave them a wink and a smile.


"No worries, Viggo." Karl said back.


Orlando nodded. "We all know how Sir Grumpy can get when he gets a few in him." They said goodbye to Viggo, and then the rest of the 4 chatted until the bar closed.


****


"Sean I don't see why you had to get all angry at them tonight." Viggo said sleepily. Sean lay on his back and looked up at the ceiling. Viggo curled up to him and wrapped an arm around his stomach.


"I guess so. But Vig, it just well..." Sean trailed off.


"Made you jealous?" Viggo said finishing the thought that Sean didn't want to admit.


"Yeah." Sean growled under his breath. "Just the way they are always stuck to each other and acting like-"


"They're in love." Viggo finished off for Sean again. "But they are Sean, lover, and we should just let them get it out of their system." Viggo nuzzled Sean's neck and gave it a light, slow kiss.


"Well I wish they would hurry it up. Someone should show how 'love-dovey' they are." Viggo didn't reply, but thought for a moment. Sean turned his head to look at him. "What? You're thinking of somethin'. I can tell."


"Maybe *we* should do something about it." Viggo said coyly. He leaned up and gave Sean a deep kiss. After they broke apart Sean looked into those ice blue eyes.


"I have an idea," he said. Smiling he kissed Viggo, and said nothing more of the matter.


****


"I don't know why Sean and Viggo want us to go to the bar so early." Karl said answering Orlando's pervious question. A week had gone by since their little 'romp' in the bar and it was their day off from filming.


Orlando held the front door open as Karl walked out of the house. "But it's only 5. Isn't that a little early to get wasted, Karl?"


"I dunno, angel." Karl said and he got into the car. "We'll just have to wait and see."


*****


"Dominic put this on." Sean said. They were at the bar, not the bar where they were last week, but their normal hangout. It was still early for the crowds to come in and there were only 3 other people in the entire place.


"What the fuck for?" Dominic asked. He looked at the small container in Sean's hand. Glitter lip gloss, blueberry scented.


"Just put some on, please." Sean said, a little desperately. "I picked blue, so you don't have to be completely embarrassed."


"No," Dominic said. Viggo gave a small laugh.


"I knew he wouldn't go for it, Sean," Viggo said in his ear. "Why do you want him to do it?" Sean didn't answer.


"Dominic, I'll pay you $50 to put this on." Sean said as a final plea.


"Ok." Dominic held out his hand and Sean put the bills in it. Billy came back with the drinks and sat down beside Viggo.


"What's he doin'?" Billy asked Viggo. Sean had dipped his finger into the lip gloss and started to spread it over Dominic's lips. He made sure that it was noticeable.


"Your guess is as good as mine." Viggo said and took a sip of his beer.


"There." Sean said with a smile. He backed away from Dominic and looked at his work. Dominic's lips sparkled in the sunlight coming through the window. Billy tried not to laugh but failed. So did Viggo.


"Hey, I got paid to do it," Dominic said, shrugging. He sat down and grabbed a drink. Sean headed toward the bathroom. Viggo looked at him. Something was up. Viggo could tell, so he followed after Sean.


Sean looked around the bathroom to see if anyone else was there. They were alone.


"Sean?" Viggo said coming through the door. Sean put the small container of glitter lip gloss on the rim of the sink, then fished in his pocket for something else. He pulled out a small tube and undid the top.


"Sean?" Viggo said again but with more suspicion in his voice. He saw Sean unscrew the lip gloss and put the tube over it. Two little drops fell in.


"Sean, what the fuck are you doing?" Viggo said angrily. Sean mixed the lip gloss around a bit before he said anything. "Just some payback." he said innocently. Sean set the small tube down on the sink. Viggo read the side. Super glue.


"Super glue?" Viggo said puzzled but then it hit him what Sean was doing. "Sup- Super glue?!" he hissed. Sean did the cap back up and smiled.


"Yup."


"But wont that hurt them?" Viggo asked, worriedly.


"Not that much. Besides I asked the pharmacist, she said as long as they don't ingest any. I tried to get Dermabond but they didn't sell any to the public"


"But how will we get them...?" Viggo looked down and shook his head.


"Nail polish remover." Sean said simply.


"Isn't that worse?"


"Not if they ingest it." Sean said with a grin. "C'mon lets get out there before this hardens." He walked out of the bathroom, pocketing the super glue. Viggo just stood dumbfounded. "Still," he said to himself, "it could be an interesting show." He followed Sean.


Karl and Orlando were just arriving when Sean and Viggo sat down. They walked over to their friends and sat down.


"G'day all." Karl said smiling. Orlando nodded and said hi. He was about to say something when, "Sblomie, what the fuck are you wearing?"


Billy laughed and looked at Dominic. "Sean paid me $50 to do it."


"Your fuckin' jokin'?" Orlando said, looking at Sean.


"Nope," Sean said, "care to try?" He held out the glitter lip gloss.


"What do I get?" Orlando asked slyly. Karl just rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses.


"$50, and my undying friendship," Sean said, smugly.


"You're gonna be broke, Sean, if you keep this up." Billy said. He was enjoying the show.


"Fine!" Orlando grinned and Sean handed him the cash. Sean leaned over the table and put on a large amount of the lip gloss on Orlando. He was worried he gave it away when his finger started to stick to Orlando's bottom lip.


Orlando leaned back and smiled. "So why did you get us here so early?" Karl asked.
"I dunno, seems like the right thing to do." Sean shrugged. A bead of sweat ran down his face. Viggo looked a bit troubled but kept it in.


"Ok." Karl said a little suspicious, "Drink, angel?" He turned to Orlando.


"Love one." Orlando said and before Karl got up to get one Orlando took him in a deep kiss.


Bingo! Sean thought. He could hardly contain his smile.


Orlando and Karl started to pull apart. Orlando's lips stuck to Karl's.


"Oow." a muffled noise escaped Karl as he tried to pull back, but for some reason he couldn't. They were stuck.


Viggo, Dom and Billy just froze starring at the two. Sean was practically bursting at the seems.


"Muf th fuk?" Orlando's muffled voice said, and tried to pull back. It hurt both him an Karl when he did this so he stopped. Confusion was plastered on Karl's face and Orlando wore the biggest scowl that anyone had ever seen.


Billy started to giggle then it turned into full out laughing. Dominic just stared gaping. Sean finally broke down and started to laugh. Viggo couldn't help but do the same.


"Super glue." Sean said between gasps of breath. The two stuck by the lips just looked into each other's eyes with confusion.


"Sean put super glue in the lip gloss." Viggo said, but then turned to Dominic, "Not when he put it on you though."


"Fuck." a muffled Karl said. Orlando violently reached out for Sean with his arm, he pulled Karl's head with his. "Oow!" Karl yelped. Sean slid back in his chair out of Orlando's grip and he just laughed harder.


Orlando and Karl just sat there, feeling like idiots. There they were, stuck in a bar, stuck together by the lips with super glue. Karl could feel the heat rise in Orlando and knew that he was just waiting to get his hands on Sean and kick the crap out of him. He looked into the chocolate eyes and silently told him that they would get them back.


Sean turned serious, or as serious he could get for the moment and then said, "You won't be poisoned or anythin', it will be fine if you don't ingest it. Plus I know the dissolvent."


"'hen fukn giv it to us." Orlando anger was showing even through his muffled replies. Karl wasn't looking too happy. He leaned his head inward but accidentally poked Orlando with the corner of his glasses.


"Cin sumone take 'es off?"


Viggo took off Karl's glasses and put them on the table. He couldn't help but laugh as he did this. Orlando gave him the most vicious glare as Viggo did this as well. Teasing Orlando, Viggo bent down and kissed Orlando on the cheek.


"You two actually look good like that." Dominic commented. Then turned away quickly grinning at Billy.


Orlando made a writing motion with his hand. "I think he wants to write somethin'." Sean guessed. He went over to the bar and got a pen an small note pad. He just smiled at the bar tender who had been watching the scene unfold. Sean handed them to Orlando and he scribbled something on the paper as best he could due to his and Karl's current sate.


He handed it to Viggo. "'I am going to fucking kill you, you mother fucking cunt, Sean Bean. Get us unstuck, NOW!'" Viggo relayed the messages as best he could with out going into hysterics.


"Oooh, I'm scared." Sean said to Orlando. Billy and Dominic laughed. Karl was getting more annoyed, he started to rap his finger tips on the table in annoyance. He started to sweat with the heat of Orlando's breath coming out of his nose and just being so close to him. The stubble on Karl's face was starting to make Orlando itch.


A few more minutes went by when Sean finally said, "Ok, I think it is time we got you two unstuck."


Karl closed his eyes as sort of a silent 'thank you' and Orlando sighed. Sean started to get up and walk out the bar.


"Well are you two lovebirds comin'?" Karl and Orlando gave each other confused looks, then eyed Sean. "We'll have to go to Viggo's to do the unsticking." The he walked out the bar.


Viggo heard more muffled curses from both of them. Billy and Dominic got up and paid the bill and proceeded to help Karl and Orlando up and walk out the door. They all got weird looks as they left the bar. Karl and Orlando didn't care.


Sean sat smiling behind the wheel of his car while Billy and Dom helped Orlando and Karl get in the back seat. It wasn't easy, and there were more than muffled curses coming from the both of them. Karl gave Billy his car keys and Billy agreed to take Karl's car to Viggo's.


As Sean and Viggo drove home, no one said anything. Viggo turned around and gave them both a big grin. Orlando just gave him the finger.


They arrived at Viggo's, and Dominic and Billy pulled up seconds later. They walked the stuck Karl and Orlando up the front steps and to the door. Sean stood beside Karl and Orlando and Viggo rang the bell.


"Why do you have to ring your own bell?" Dominic asked, but was answered soon enough as Elijah threw open the door.


"Cheese!" He said and a flash of light blinded Karl and Orlando. The Polaroid popped out of the camera. Elijah then went into a fit of hysterics. "Holy fuck!!!" he giggled. "No wonder Sean wanted me to fuckin' come over." Orlando gave him the finger and he and Karl made their way in.


Stumbling over furniture they made their way down on the couch in the living room. Little flashes of light around them told Orlando and Karl that Elijah was taking more pictures. They were all going to regret it, Orlando kept telling himself.


Elijah plopped down on the chair across from them. "How the hell did they get you to do that?" When all he got was a bunch of muffled answers, he started to go back into hysterics. Dominic and Billy sat back down and stared at the pair.


"Sean, go get that nail polish remover." Viggo called back as he entered the room. He heard a muffled response from Karl.


"Don't worry. You'll be fine as long as you don't ingest it." Viggo said calmly. Everyone just laughed as Orlando gave him the finger.


"Uhhh Viggo..." Sean called from the bathroom upstairs. Viggo went up to see Sean looking through the cupboard.


"What?" Viggo asked in the doorway.


"I think I left it in my trailer." Sean said sheepishly.


"Great," Viggo said, "now we're *really* gonna be in for it." The pair went downstairs and back into the living room. The three hobbits were trying to strike up a convo with Karl and Orlando - they weren't having much luck.


"Uh Karl, Orlando." Viggo started. The two just moved their eyes up to Viggo. Sean stood in the living room entrance. Orlando frowned. "Sean forgot the nail polish remover. He'll go out and buy some more but you'll have to hold on a bit more." Viggo saw that they were getting very uncomfortable and he started to feel guilty.


"Oook." Karl mumbbled. Sean went out the front door, and Viggo sat down beside the two. He gave a big grin and leaned in as Elijah took another picture.


An hour later Orlando and Karl sat apart holding rags with ice cubes to their lips. Viggo had taken a Q-tip with a small amount of remover and just put it gently on their lips. When they pulled apart they were all red and cracked.


"I guess we have been a bit inconsiderate." Karl said. He put the ice back to his lips. They were feeling better, but were still sore. Orlando reminded Sean that he was going to kill him, but also knew why he had done it.


"I couldn't resist, mates." Sean said, "But I am sorry if I caused you any real pain."


"No, your not." Orlando shot back. "But you're forgiven. Sort of." He grinned but put the ice back on his tender lips.


"I have to admit it was hella funny." Elijah said looking at the pictures they took of those two.


"You do know we'll need those." Karl said.


"Oh no! These babies are going to be put up over Internet, the papers, and all over the set Monday." Elijah said, smiling.


"You know you are on my list of 'people to kill,' now, Elijah." Orlando said, giving him a sly look.


"I wouldn't have it any other way." Elijah grinned.


Karl leaned back and sighed then pulled Orlando beside him. "Looks like we were had, love." He gave a smile to Sean. "I must admit, Sean, it was very original. I would have never thought of it. How did you come up with such a prank?"


"Actually, Viggo gave me the idea."


"I did?" Viggo looked surprised.


"Yes. That night after you two had that shag session in the bar. While we were in bed, he kissed me and I remember the conversation that I had with one of my daughters, earlier that day, and how she had been using super glue for a school project. There you have it."


"Well." Karl sighed. "Still, good for you." He winked at him through is glasses.


"I guess we'll be watchin' our backs for awhile." Sean said to Viggo and the hobbits. They agreed and reminded Orlando and Karl that they weren't apart of the original plan.


"Don't think you can save yourselves that way, mates." Orlando grinned and rubbed his bottom lip. A small growl came from his stomach. "Could use a bite."


"Me too." Billy said.


"Me three." Elijah chimed in.


"Then let me treat the two victims to dinner," Viggo said, smiling. They accepted and went out.


*three weeks later*


Orlando came in the door of his and Karl's flat. "Home, love." He called out.


"Where were you?" Karl asked as Orlando came into the kitchen. Karl was reading the news paper and sipping on a cup of coffee.


"Nowhere." Orlando said, simply.


"I don't believe you. Where were you, Orli?" Karl asked looking up from the paper. He rested his chin on his hands and watched Orlando pour himself a cup of tea with the hot water on the stove. After a few minutes, he looked at Karl.


"Just feedin' Vig's cat." Orlando said and started to walk out of the kitchen. Karl looked a bit puzzled and asked.


"But Viggo doesn't have a cat."


"I know." Orlando said and walked out of the room. Karl smiled at this and went back to the paper waiting for the plot to thicken.


At two in the morning, the phone rang. Orlando woke with a start, and Karl just groaned and rolled over. Another ring, Orlando reached over for the phone. "'Lo," He said, sleepily.


"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?" Sean yelled into the other end. Orlando had to pull it away from his ear. Waking up more, he decided to play along.


"I have no idea what you're talkin' about, Sean." His innocent voice made Sean even angrier. Karl woke up a bit more, and rolled over to listen in on the conversation.


"You damn well know what you did, Orlando Bloom, and I will fuckin' have your head!" Orlando could practically feel the steam that was coming out of Sean's head. He choked down a laugh.


"Sean, I *honestly* have no idea what you're trying to accuse me of," Orlando said. Karl leaned up more and whispered into Orlando's ear, "What's goin' on?"


"Fuck! Orlando!" Sean seethed into the phone. Orlando thought he could hear muffled laughter. "Oh shut up, Viggo!" Sean yelled at the other end. Orlando could hear Viggo break into hysterics.


"Sean, why don't you tell me what happened. Maybe Karl and I can help?" Orlando grinned on the other end.


"You fucking know what happened!" Sean said angrily, "Put Karl on!"


"Hello, Sean?" Karl asked, a little worried. Orlando just sat there giggling.


"What the fuck did Orlando do!" Sean barked.


"Sean, I really don't know." Karl said. He really didn't and he tried not to make Sean angrier, but he heard Sean throw down the phone. Orlando leaned in and now their ears were pressed together listening. Viggo picked up on the other end.


"Hi." Viggo said, trying to keep himself under control. He spoke to Karl and Orlando. When Viggo was done Karl just blinked, letting his mouth gape open and Orlando fell off the bed laughing.


"He has a condom stuck where?" Karl repeated trying to get things straight. Orlando broke down and fell off the bed.


"When I came out of him tonight the condom stayed. I tried pulling it out but it is stuck in there." Viggo said on the other end. Karl was a loss for words. He looked down at Orlando on the floor, just laughing his heart out.


"Viggo- I- I..." Karl stammered, and then Orlando drew himself up to the bed.


"Just a little sticky payback," Orlando laughed.


"You put super glue in their lube?" Karl said, shocked. He forgot he was on the phone.


"So he admits it!" Viggo exclaimed, "Sean, you were right."


"I'll fuckin' kill him!" Karl heard Sean yell in the background.


Orlando got back on the phone, "Vig, tell Sean that if he ever messes with Orlando Bloom again, he'll really regret it." Grinning, Orlando listened for a response.


"I'll relay the message." Viggo said laughing, "I better get Sean to a hospital now."


"Okay, have a good night!" Orlando said. He looked at Karl and gave a wink.


"Oh, and Orlando?" Viggo said, before he hung up.


"Yeah?"


"Brilliant come back."


~*fin*~