Barriers both Noble and Arduous

Fic Name : Barriers Both Noble and Arduous 9/?
Pairing : Glorfindel/Erestor, Haldir/Elladan, Elohir/Erestor, Elrohir/Elladan, Haldir/Rumil, Elrohir/Rumil. Elves, Elves, let there be elves!
Rating : NC17 (No holds Barred. Thus you are warned)
Timeline : During the Third Age before the War of the Ring.
Synopsis : Erestor fights with the past, Glorfindel is wounded severely. Several factors complicate them getting together, but love blossoms amid the pain.
Disclaimer : I don't claim to own anything or make any money. Suing me will not do any good, you'd get a quarter at the most. Tolkien owns all the pretty elves.
NOTE : If there are some discrepancies, I apologize. I don’t think there are any.


***GLORFINDEL & ERESTOR***

*flashback*

“Erestor, your people are here to take you away.” Eirik’s voice brought him out of his reverie. The raven haired elf ran a hand through his short hair and refused to meet the man’s eyes. Once long and beautiful, Erestor had cut it to spite his captor. He had not yet spoken with Elrond, and he had no idea what words to speak. Doubtless, Celebrian would speakm alm all. “Are you not ready to go?” The words were spoken easily, but then again, words always came easy to Eirik. The man smiled apprehensively.

Erestor looked around at what had been his room for the last six months. Nothing was really his, it all belonged to Eirik, even the clothing that he now wore was not elvish. “So the cage doors are open.” he whispered softly. “And you want me to go.”

“You must wish to return to your people. This is not your world, as you have often told me.” Eirik sat on the edge of the large bed and rested his hands on his knees. “I decided not to fight. I cannot risk the lives of my men against such odds. Your elvin kin would lay waste to us.”

“And you care so much for your people.” Erestor met the man’s eyes. Six months ago, he would not even speak to the man at all.

“You have changed me.” Eirik shrugged, scratching his sideburn. Erestor watched him hawkishly, the man was slim and well built, his tanned body trained for war. He was tall for a man, about 6 ft 7, with slender hands and long limbs. His eyes were a brilliant forest green that turned dark hazel when he was angry. His face was rugged, not altogether unpleasing, his hair shoulder length and tied back with a ribbon. He had a slight beard, trimmed recently to please the elf, and a slight moustache to accompany it.. He wore his colors and heraldry, dark purple with white and gold stripes. His symbol, the Black Panther was upon his bracers. Underneath his livery, he wore black leggings, boots and a purple shirt.

“What will you do with my child when he is born?” The elf swallowed, his tone hushed but hard as he continued to stare at the man.

“I will raise him as if he was one of us. He or she will be my heir.”

“He will know that he is different.” Erestor took a shaky breath. “He will make the choice when the time comes.”

“I will tell him that his father lives in Rivendell.” Eirik offered softly. “If you wish to…”

“Never.” Erestor’s lips curled, frustrated anger boiling in his heart. “Never mention my name to him. Never send him to us. When I walk out that door, he ceases to be mine. I do not care where he goes or whom he learns from, but I will never lay eyes upon him. I do not want to…”

“Be reminded of me.” Eirik finished. “Of us.” He cracked a knuckle as he shifted on the bed.

“There is no us.” Erestor growled. “You may have found a way through my defenses, you may have broken me once. But when I step through that door, I will never think of you again.”

“I doubt that.” Eirik sighed. “Erestor, I will never understand you elves and your refusal to admit your feelings. You cannot deny us more than you can deny your own eyes or ears.” He rose and stepped closer to the tense elf that instantly backed away…into a wall. Eirik reached up and cupped his cheek, caressing the soft skin for one last time. “I will miss you, your advice, your body…your eyes. I will miss everything about you until I am old and grey and ready to return to the earth. Will you come then, and admit that you love me?”

“I do not love you.” Erestor bit out, struggling to keep his emotions calm. In a few moments he would be face to face with Elrond, and his kin. They would see how much he had changed, they would see it in his eyes, in his heart. They would all know.

“You lie.” Eirik kissed the elf then, their lips meeting easily. It might indeed be a lie for the elf was unable to resist, his lips parting to accept the man’s kiss, letting his heat build. It lasted for a while, but it was Eirik who pulled away, kissing Erestor’s lower lip gently as he did. “Come, I will take you to him, and you will be free.”

Silently, Erestor allowed himself to be led before Elrond, Celebrian was already at her husband’s side, calm and quiet. Her eyes were vacant, however, staring off somewhere else…to a world only she could see. Elrond frowned when he saw his friend. “Erestor. Thank the Valar you are alright.” He clasped the other elf’s hand and pulled him into a tight embrace. Erestor accepted it, wordlessly, his eyes falling in shame. Twas then the Half-Elf noticed his friend’s beautiful hair was cut. He reached up to finger the locks, scowling at the man who had released his friend. “Be thankful I do not kill you now. That it is not our way to take vengeance.”

“Go as you will, Lord Elrond.” Eirik responded, his lips tight as his eyes never left Erestor. They hardened as the elf did not look back. “You have already taken your revenge.”

Erestor closed his eyes, fighting the tears that threatened. Every part of him cried out at the idea of leaving, except his mind.

**end flashback**

In the forest, Erestor’s eyes reopened, letting the tears flow. It had been so many long years ago. Eirik was dead. Why did he still remember the man as though it was yesterday? Since then, no one had been allowed to touch him or be near him. His hair had grown out and he had become the most perfect elf in Lord Elrond’s household. With a heart of ice and the eyes of stone he had faced the world day in and day out untilrfinrfindel had come to Rivendell. Until the Balrog Slayer had disrupted his perfect shell and tore at the walls he had so carefully constructed so that he could forget.

There was so much more to think about, so much more to remember. He didn’t think he could bring himself to do so. Not yet…not yet. He turned around to find himself staring into Glorfindel’s eyes. The ancient elf had followed him, struggling with his wound as he did. He wiped away the tears. “Glorfindel…I can’t…Please…”

The elder elf shook his head, “Its too late for that.” And he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the raven-haired adviser and holding him. “Shhh, its alright.” he stroked Erestor’s hair gently as the other’s tears continued to flow, soaking his shirt.

***HALDIR & RUMIL***

Haldir struggled to a standing position when Rumil approached him. He regained some of his composure far too easily for his younger brother’s liking. “Haldir…are you alright?” Then again, Haldir had always been able to do that, switch off emotions.

“I am.” Haldir lifted his chin, doing his best to keep his emotions in complete check. It always worked for him though, far better than anyone else could have ever dreamed of doing. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere else?” He said calmly, staring straight into Rumil’s troubled eyes.

“I…” He swallowed. “I know what you saw, and I’m so--.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Haldir said smoothly. “I do not fault you for your desires, and your body is your own to do with what you wish. “
Rumil’s jaw worked in frustration. He hated it when Haldir was like this, completely and utterly aloof, as though nothing could touch him. In the moonlight…he was so beautiful, not a hair out of place whereas Rumil had had no time to adjust himself. It was during times like these that he wished he could just abandon all his fears and lean forward to kiss the elder elf. But he was too afraid of being shoved aside, or losing his brother’s love altogether. He put his trembling hands behind his back. “I don’t know what to say…”

“Why say anything? I don’t need to know, Rumil.” Haldir said stiffly, lifting his chin. “I think we should go back to camp now.”

“No.” Rumil clenched his fists. “I won’t….Why can’t you talk to me? I’m your brother, Haldir.”

And that was it, they were brothers. Haldir sighed as he looked away, putting a hand on Rumil’s shoulder. Touching Rumil had been a mistake though. His hand rested there, feeling the warmth of his brother’s skin, his fingers slightly caressing of their own accord. “Rumil, its just that…” What was he thinking? Trying to talk when he had no ability with words with anyone but Elladan.

For Rumil the simple touch was electrifying, coursing through his body and making it difficult for him to breathe. “Gods…Haldir….” his eyes held his brother’s, hoping…wishing…needing. Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer and the younger elf made a desperate move. He suddenly stepped forward, pressing his body next to his elder brother’s, a hand reaching out to the back of Haldir’s head as he forced contact with their lips.

At first, Haldir tried to stop him, almost pulled away, but he found that he could not once that sweet mouth pressed against him. Groaning slightly, he allowed his brother to pry his lips open and to let their tongues collide in heated passion. “Haldir…” Rumil gasped, as his hands quested through his brother’s soft hair, running over the strong shoulders and back. He was on fire…he could feel that Haldir was too, if the other elf’s clear erection straining through his leggings was anything to go by.

But the kiss was over too soon, and Haldir stepped abruptly away. He gasped for breath, shaking. He couldn’t look at Rumil, he couldn’t even touch him. He jerked away from his brother when Rumil reached for him in confusion. “Haldir…do not…” Tears pooled in the younger elf’s eyes.

“No, not now, Rumil. Not when I cannot think.” he shook his head, his eyes wide as he backed away from his younger brother. He turned, and hurried away, leaving the young elf to collapse to his knees from the pressure of what had just happened. Rumil buried his face in his hands and quietly sobbed, he had ruined everything.

***ELROHIR & ELLADAN***

Elrohir returned to the camp to find his twin leaning back against a fallen log, finishing what was left of a pot of tea that had been made with dinner. Elladan looked up at his brother and smiled. “You look well.” he commented to the younger elf.

“Thank-you, and you.” Elrohir sat beside the other elf, as close as they usually were. “Where is Glorfindel and Erestor?”

“I think that Master Erestor is finally beginning to deal with the past.” Elladan said quietly, sipping his drink. Elrohir lay his head on his brother’s leg as he snuggled up. It was nothing new, they did this all the time. Elldan’s hand rested upon the other’s head, stroking it gently.

“Will he ever be able to get over it?” Elrohir bit his lip, accepting the mug as his brother offered it, sipping slightly. He was there when Erestor and his mother had been returned…somewhere in her own world. He remembered the way Erestor was for many years, until the man finally died, and the fight that their father had put up trying to stop his friend from killing himself. “Do you think Glorfindel really loves him enough?”

“I don’t know, my brother. I do not know. There is so much that cannot be explained in a day or a moment of time. Maybe we should show him father’s journal….” Elladan pondered thoughtfully.

“Poor Erestor.” Elrohir said softly, his heart heavy from thinking of it. “It wasn’t love. It could not have been.”

“No, my brother. It was a kind of love. Erestor did not realize it until it was too late. He would never admit it, that man was evil. Erestor was right not to give in. He destroyed our mother.”

Elrohir’s face hardened as he remembered, “Men change faster than we do. Father said so. But I do not think he ever deserved Erestor’s love, or immortality. But he is gone now, cannot Erestor love another?”

“I think he can. If the one he loves is willing to accept his past.” Elladan smiled down at his younger brother. “We should not really be talking about this, you need some rest. You’ve been busy this evening. I can tell.” The elder twin knew instinctively, and was not jealous. His love for Elrohir was a quiet love, a precious one. It was a moment that he would do nothing to press or take advantage of. When the time was right, he would tell his brother.

Elrohir yawned. “I am rather tired, are you coming to bed? Can I sleep next to you?” The younger twin stretched and rose, looking over at their bedrolls and pondering how best to lay them up.

“As you wish.”

And so as others were available to stand guard, the brothers prepared for sleep. The night was still young, and there was time enough for more problems. For now, however, Elladan wanted to rest, too much had happened that day and he needed his strength for the morrow. He let Elrohir curl up in his arms and closed his eyes.

***TBC***