The Corruption and Degredation of Mary Sue
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
42
Views:
1,615
Reviews:
46
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
42
Views:
1,615
Reviews:
46
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Need for Sanctuary
Chapter 9: The Need for Sanctuary
Legolas was giggling hysterically at something Haldir had said but neither of them had any recollection what it was other than hilarious. They were both lying on Haldir’s bed taking turns on the pipe and getting progressively more wasted. Their mirth was soon shattered by a sudden knocking on the door.
“Legolas, my beloved, let me in!” begged Celebelen.
“Shit! It’s her! What do we do?” whispered Legolas, suddenly getting panicky. The state he was in was only conducive to more paranoia being heaped upon him.
“HE’S NOT HERE!! GO AWAY!!” shouted Haldir, then bursting into giggles.
“Who’s that in there with you?” demanded Celebelen. Legolas sighed and shoved Haldir.
“Let her in,” he hissed.
“Why?”
“Because she’ll probably go psychotic on us if we don’t!!” urged Legolas. Haldir groaned and obeyed his friend’s wishes. He threw open the door and stood there, blocking entry.
“What?!” he snapped at Celebelen.
“I wish to speak to my beloved!” she retorted, almost as vehemently. She shoved past Haldir and into the room. “Legolas! Please help me! Kalina won’t stop being mean to me! Look what she did to my hair!!” Celebelen tried to keep her voice stable but failed miserably. Tears began to trickle down her face as she pointed to her mangled hairdo. “And who is he?” she demanded, pointing at Haldir.
“I am Haldir…” began the elf, stepping forward.
“I didn’t ask YOU!” snapped Celebelen before returning to her sniffling.
“Right. That does it. OUT! NOW!” said Haldir, starting to bodily shove Celebelen out of the room.
“Haldir, be nice,” said Legolas as Celebelen started to bawl. “Look. I’ll talk to Kalina later. Meanwhile Haldir is an
important erm… ally and we have things to discuss for his visit here shall not be long,” said Legolas, thinking on his feet.
“Talk to her NOW!” screeched Celebelen. Haldir covered his ears.
“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Right. I think I hate you more than Elrond’s vile ginger sprog. At least HER voice doesn’t lacerate your ears like a rusty cheese grater,” spat Haldir.
“Celebelen, I really can’t right now. You’ve interrupted an important diplomatic meeting,” said Legolas, suddenly becoming the voice of lying reason. “However I know her very well and will have words with her later. Is that alright?”
Celebelen sighed haughtily. “I suppose… Just make sure she pays for what she did to my hair!!”
“Fine, no problem. Now, due to diplomatic protocol you’ll have to leave,” said Legolas. “I’m sure you understand just how important what I do is.”
“Oh yes, beloved, you are an important man…” said Celebelen dreamily. Haldir cringed and curled his lip in repulsion.
“Elf,” interjected Legolas. Man indeed. Celebelen walked over to him, giggling slightly, then wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Legolas grudgingly allowed her lips to touch his then pulled back and escorted her out of the room, slamming the door behind her. He then dropdowndown to his knees to peer through the keyhole to make sure she buggered off. After a minute of clasping her hands together and sighing dramatically over being in love, Celebelen skipped off. “I think we’d be better off in Kalina’s room.”
“Oh yes. We run away from THAT thing to wind up in the company of another reprehensible excuse for a female,”
snorted Haldir.
“Well, Kalina clearly did something to scare her off which means that she probably won’t come in there which means that all you’ll have to deal with is Kalina.”
“Well, it is the lesser of two evils,” agreed Haldir grudgingly.
“Right! She’s gone! Get the pipe!” whispered Legolas. He opened the door a crack and peered out. The corridor was empty and he could just about make out her footsteps heading away from them. Haldir quickly grabbed all the essentials for surviving an evening barricaded in Kalina’s bedroom then hurried over to Legolas. He threw open the door and the two of them silently scuttled towards Kalina’s room. Legolas knocked on the door.
“WHAT!?”
“It’s me! And Haldir! We seek sanctuary!!!” he pleaded as Haldir looked around nervously in case the dreaded human returned. He was far too stoned to want to deal with the hysterical blonde thing any time soon.
The door opened a crack and Kalina stuck her head out, glaring at Haldir and Legolas.
“Look. Just keep her away from me and I promise not to be too much of a cunt,” said Haldir desperately. Kalina, genuinely taken aback by this statement opened the door wider and allowed the two in, then slammed it shut and locked it.
“Where’d she go?” Kalina asked Legolas.
“Away from here. Library maybe? That general direction,” supplied Legolas.
“Excellent. Aragorn!” barked Kalina. The human, who had jumped off the bed and was embracing a slightly indignant
looking Haldir (although it was obvious he was loving the attention and had his hand on the human’s arse) turned to the young elf.
“What?”
“Daddy’s in the garden. Probably the special garden that he thinks I don’t know about. Go inform him that the four of us are doing our own important things and won’t be seeing him for dinner. Then hurry back here and we may as well get down to some poker.” Kalina smiled slightly as Aragorn quickly detached himself from Haldir and scurried off.
Legolas was giggling hysterically at something Haldir had said but neither of them had any recollection what it was other than hilarious. They were both lying on Haldir’s bed taking turns on the pipe and getting progressively more wasted. Their mirth was soon shattered by a sudden knocking on the door.
“Legolas, my beloved, let me in!” begged Celebelen.
“Shit! It’s her! What do we do?” whispered Legolas, suddenly getting panicky. The state he was in was only conducive to more paranoia being heaped upon him.
“HE’S NOT HERE!! GO AWAY!!” shouted Haldir, then bursting into giggles.
“Who’s that in there with you?” demanded Celebelen. Legolas sighed and shoved Haldir.
“Let her in,” he hissed.
“Why?”
“Because she’ll probably go psychotic on us if we don’t!!” urged Legolas. Haldir groaned and obeyed his friend’s wishes. He threw open the door and stood there, blocking entry.
“What?!” he snapped at Celebelen.
“I wish to speak to my beloved!” she retorted, almost as vehemently. She shoved past Haldir and into the room. “Legolas! Please help me! Kalina won’t stop being mean to me! Look what she did to my hair!!” Celebelen tried to keep her voice stable but failed miserably. Tears began to trickle down her face as she pointed to her mangled hairdo. “And who is he?” she demanded, pointing at Haldir.
“I am Haldir…” began the elf, stepping forward.
“I didn’t ask YOU!” snapped Celebelen before returning to her sniffling.
“Right. That does it. OUT! NOW!” said Haldir, starting to bodily shove Celebelen out of the room.
“Haldir, be nice,” said Legolas as Celebelen started to bawl. “Look. I’ll talk to Kalina later. Meanwhile Haldir is an
important erm… ally and we have things to discuss for his visit here shall not be long,” said Legolas, thinking on his feet.
“Talk to her NOW!” screeched Celebelen. Haldir covered his ears.
“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Right. I think I hate you more than Elrond’s vile ginger sprog. At least HER voice doesn’t lacerate your ears like a rusty cheese grater,” spat Haldir.
“Celebelen, I really can’t right now. You’ve interrupted an important diplomatic meeting,” said Legolas, suddenly becoming the voice of lying reason. “However I know her very well and will have words with her later. Is that alright?”
Celebelen sighed haughtily. “I suppose… Just make sure she pays for what she did to my hair!!”
“Fine, no problem. Now, due to diplomatic protocol you’ll have to leave,” said Legolas. “I’m sure you understand just how important what I do is.”
“Oh yes, beloved, you are an important man…” said Celebelen dreamily. Haldir cringed and curled his lip in repulsion.
“Elf,” interjected Legolas. Man indeed. Celebelen walked over to him, giggling slightly, then wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Legolas grudgingly allowed her lips to touch his then pulled back and escorted her out of the room, slamming the door behind her. He then dropdowndown to his knees to peer through the keyhole to make sure she buggered off. After a minute of clasping her hands together and sighing dramatically over being in love, Celebelen skipped off. “I think we’d be better off in Kalina’s room.”
“Oh yes. We run away from THAT thing to wind up in the company of another reprehensible excuse for a female,”
snorted Haldir.
“Well, Kalina clearly did something to scare her off which means that she probably won’t come in there which means that all you’ll have to deal with is Kalina.”
“Well, it is the lesser of two evils,” agreed Haldir grudgingly.
“Right! She’s gone! Get the pipe!” whispered Legolas. He opened the door a crack and peered out. The corridor was empty and he could just about make out her footsteps heading away from them. Haldir quickly grabbed all the essentials for surviving an evening barricaded in Kalina’s bedroom then hurried over to Legolas. He threw open the door and the two of them silently scuttled towards Kalina’s room. Legolas knocked on the door.
“WHAT!?”
“It’s me! And Haldir! We seek sanctuary!!!” he pleaded as Haldir looked around nervously in case the dreaded human returned. He was far too stoned to want to deal with the hysterical blonde thing any time soon.
The door opened a crack and Kalina stuck her head out, glaring at Haldir and Legolas.
“Look. Just keep her away from me and I promise not to be too much of a cunt,” said Haldir desperately. Kalina, genuinely taken aback by this statement opened the door wider and allowed the two in, then slammed it shut and locked it.
“Where’d she go?” Kalina asked Legolas.
“Away from here. Library maybe? That general direction,” supplied Legolas.
“Excellent. Aragorn!” barked Kalina. The human, who had jumped off the bed and was embracing a slightly indignant
looking Haldir (although it was obvious he was loving the attention and had his hand on the human’s arse) turned to the young elf.
“What?”
“Daddy’s in the garden. Probably the special garden that he thinks I don’t know about. Go inform him that the four of us are doing our own important things and won’t be seeing him for dinner. Then hurry back here and we may as well get down to some poker.” Kalina smiled slightly as Aragorn quickly detached himself from Haldir and scurried off.