When I Needed You *

Chapter Nine: Vision Quest

Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
~Erasure~

Renee had been nearly two months in the House of Elrond, her shoulder wound had healed. Physically she was better than she had been in a very long time. She chewed at her bottom lip as she stared out over the glowing city through her balcony doors. Aragorn had been gone nearly two weeks. His brothers Elladan and Elrohir had returned from their orc hunt and left again, nearly immediately. Aragorn leaving shortly afterward. He was gathering the Rangers to scout for the Wraiths far down the Greyflood. The first few days she had been fine. Comfortable in her surroundings and Legolas’ company, she had gone about her lessons as usual. But the nightmares had returned and fleeing to Aragorn’s room did no good with his presence missing. Sleep had left her days ago.

Eating in the Great Hall had become a chore, so many people staring. Legolas had duties and while their bond had grown strong she had finally managed to keep most of her thoughts to herself after he made a joking comment that her scattered thoughts had distracted him during an archery lesson. She took advantage of Aragorn’s absence and began taking her meals in her room. The only visitor she’d had yesterday had been the tailor bringing the last of her travel clothing.

A sigh of regret escaped her as she looked to the beautiful clothing folded and ready to be put away in her travel pack. Forgetting for a time that he was gone she had rushed to Aragorn’s room to model the clothing. How she wished he had been there. Her footsteps back to her own room had been much subdued.

She jumped and hid behind the curtain when a group of ellon passed below her. She didn’t wish to see anyone just yet. Depression weighed heavy on her shoulders. This morning she’d had an uncontrolled vision when she had touched the flatware. The first in many weeks. Lack of sleep and nightmares loosening the control she had fought so hard for. Aragorn would be sorely disappointed in her.

The day passed quickly for Renee in this half waking sleep of the elves. Visions terrible and penetrating bringing tears to her eyes. A child, no more than a babe with a ring around its neck. Not the One Ring but an elvish Ring of Power. As the child grew the ring did not. Until the elf babe was choked and withered. The ring itself glowed as the last of the Eldar life was siphoned off into the tiny bit of white gold.

As the day grew long and shadows crept across the room several knocks upon her door went unanswered. Legolas attempted to contact her through their bond several times yet she could not rouse herself enough to answer. Staring out the side of her window at the silver lights dancing on the water. Her mind drifted in to and out of visions. Generations of children torn from their lives by the power of the rings of power. The ring quest they were about to embark upon. The long darkness that was Moria the hard months ahead for the hobbits. Everything and nothing was sacred in these dark days. She was alone in the blood and death of her visions. Creatures that she had never seen with her true eyes ripped and tore at her spirit. For a day and a night and into the next she stood transfixed by nightmares.

*

Elrond summoned the hobbits to him as the page left he turned back to Gandalf.

“I want no record of Aewnaur on this journey. Her part in this must remain secret until it is done. This fellowship will be shown to have nine only. Nine companions to balance out the nine Ringwraiths.”

Gandalf stroked his beard as was his want when thinking the deep thoughts of the Istari.

“Hm, yes every attempt at secrecy must be made,” the grey man said in agreement. “I fear the man of Gondor will not care too much for a female being on this journey. Their superstitions and thoughts on the fairer sex well known.”

Elrond frowned, he did worry about his new daughter. This trip was really no place for a laes, not even yet a century old despite how Mithrandir would have them think. Before he could comment though the hobbits were ushered in and the meeting started.

*

Legolas was worried. He had not heard from Aewnaur in several days. Even sensing her presence in the House had become difficult. The only time he had felt this cut off from his bonded was when she and Mithrandir had been in lessons. He had no wish to see the visions as she saw them. He had seen the Wizard in the dining hall earlier and knew something was wrong. Her door however remained barred against him.

He sought Elrond in his study. He had not expected to interrupt a meeting but felt his concern was important enough.

“My Lord, I apologize for interrupting but I must speak with you,” Legolas smiled at the hobbits in greeting.

Elrond read the unease in the younger elf and stood. “It is no trouble Legolas. What has happened?”

“Lord Elrond, no one has seen Renee in several day’s, her room is locked. She has missed several lessons. Not even through the bond may I contact her. I am concerned,” he whispered hurriedly, hoping not to upset the Halflings.

Elrond turned to Gandalf, “Has she missed her lessons?”

“There is no more I can teach her. I released her to practice on her own,” Gandalf’s eyes narrowed as he sent his power out tin search of the missing elleth. “She is in her room, but she is falling into-” he paused as the door opened unexpectedly.

“Strider,” Frodo cried out. Smile brightening his face.

“Frodo,” Aragorn nodded, then greeted them each in turn. “Am I intruding?”

“We did not expect you back for several days Estel,” Elrond clasped his foster son’s shoulders in greeting. His spirit lightened that the long silence between them was no more.

“We traveled fast and hard but other than a shredded cloak there were no signs of the Nazgul.”

“Indeed that is good news,” Elrond stepped back. “And well your coming is. It seems your sister has disappeared.”

“What? How could this happen? How long?”

“No one has seen her in three days and I have lost the sense of her,” Legolas replied.

“Fear not for her whereabouts. We must now look to her spirit,” Gandalf stood with some urgency. “Come, it is good that you are here. She will need you, both of you.”

The Man and Elf exchanged a look then as one turned to the door, Wizard and Eldar following close behind. The hobbits looked to each other, they had not been dismissed but were not invited to follow either. Elrond turned back to them as he reached the door. Frodo smirked and jumped up to follow at the elf’s raised eyebrow.

The procession paused at the locked door. Elrond quickly called Erestor to him. Erestor kept the master key to all rooms as he was Head of Staff of the House of Elrond.

Aragorn nearly burst through the door in worry. He had hurried through his journey and left Halbarad his second in charge of the remaining search. His instincts telling him all was not well in Rivendell but this he had not expected. He had assumed that with the bonding to Legolas Renee would be fine. He should have known better. She had not spoken at all the last day he had seen her. From almost the moment she was told about his eminent departure he had seen her decline.

The group was still and silent as the tableau played out before them. Legolas and Aragorn had rushed to the pale figure huddled in the corner of the room. Legolas reached her first but was pushed aside quickly. Both males repeating her name.

“Renee, Aewnaur wake. I am here, wake now,” Aragorn kept his voice gentle as he patted her face.

“Lirimaer. Renee, melethnin,” Legolas whispered as he attempted to pull her into his arms.

Aragorn nearly growled at the elf, he knew he was being unreasonable but this was his sister who he knew would be uncomfortable with the elf if she had been aware.

“Give her to me,” he grumbled as he reached for her. Once she was settled on his lap he pulled the leather gloves off his hands and attempted to clear his head of all thoughts but the love he had in his heart for the small slip of a girl.

The group at the door held their breaths as the ranger touched his bare fingers to the side of Renee’s face. As she began to recite his lineage Frodo managed to come out of his trance like state and rush into the room. The other hobbits took their cue’s from Frodo. Sam pulled back the bedding and fluffed the pillows as Merry and Pippin rushed to get a pitcher of water and a cup, tripping over themselves along the way. Gandalf’s eyes gleamed with mirth as the elf lord exhaled sharply. This was the elf that scoffed at the notion of love just a few short weeks ago.

Aragorn picked Renee up in his arms and carried her to the bed casting a grateful glance at Samwise as he made her comfortable. She still had not woken but at least the spell of visions was broken. Once the group had settled the girl Elrond turned to the hobbits and bid them follow him. Plans still had yet to be made.

At last it was Aragorn, Legolas and Gandalf alone with the sleeping girl. Renee’s eyes had slipped closed as the flow of words had ceased. Aragorn turned to his friend.

“Goheno nin mellon nin,” Aragorn whispered as he stroked his sisters hair. He glanced up at Legolas.

“Please, my friend there is no need,” Legolas waved away the apology. “She sleeps with her eyes closed,” he pointed out in near despair. “I had not realized until today that I had not seen her. It is I that should apologize. You left her in my care.”

“She keeps her own council and her troubles to herself. I doubt there was anything you could have done. For now let us make her well,” Aragorn responded as he wet a cloth and bathed her face.

Gandalf excused himself as the day wore on but the two friends sat in silence, neither willing to leave the young elleth they had both come to care for.

*

Renee groaned when she tried to open her eyes. They felt heavy and grainy. Her body ached as if beaten, a feeling she had hoped to never feel again. She blinked against the bright sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains. A dark haired head lay pillowed on the bed beside her hand. Aragorn? When had he returned? What had happened to her? She tried to move her hand to shield her eyes but found it clasped tightly in her brother’s grip.

The movement woke Aragorn. He sat up quickly eyes locking on to her.

“Renee, you’re awake. You had us so worried. How do you feel?” he blinked a few times to clear his head. Then reached for a cup of cool water.

“I ache Aragorn. What happened to me?”

“I know not muinthel. A vision took you for a time, we think,” he sat her up so she could drink from the cup he held for her. She drank greedily.

“A vision?” her eyes unfocused as the nightmare came back to her. “Yes, oh Aragorn it was so terrible. Horrible deaths. Elves dying. Generations of babies never getting to taste life. Then these creature, attacking,” she gripped his sleeve as the vision replayed. She fought for long moments for the words to make him understand. “Before I came here, to Middle-Earth. I knew of you. I knew of the Ring Quest and what would happen to each of you. It was all so.. Distant. Even after I had actually met everyone it still seemed like a story about other people. I hadn’t had a single vision about the Quest since waking up on the path to Bree. But this,” Renee paused fear clouding her eyes. “Aragorn, I ’saw’ the Quest. I, I’m sorry but so much bad will happen that I can’t,” her voice broke off into a sob.

Aragorn moved up onto the bed and pulled her into his arms. Shushing her like a small child, whispering comforting words. He let her cry herself out until she slept again. As she dozed he looked down at her half open eyes and sighed. Still so much of the child remained he would hate to see what the next year would bring. Renee’s breathing hitched in near sobs even as she slept. Aragorn looked up as the door opened quietly.

“Legolas,” he whispered in greeting.

“She woke,” Legolas sighed. He had nearly dropped his bow when the rush of her anguish came to him on his way to the practice fields. Two days they had sat by her side. Two days filled with worry and nearly as soon as he left wanting only to clear his head and stretch his muscles as Aragorn had earlier, she had woken. Their bond might still be intact but obviously she still didn’t feel comfortable in his presence. He took comfort in the fact that the Valar never choose wrongly. Otherwise this might have made him despair.

“Aye, she spoke. Her visions were terrible and plague her still,” Aragorn echoed Legolas’s sigh.

“Is there nothing we can do?”

“Nay, she needs rest and time. We only need to let her know that we are here. And that no matter what she sees, we will always be here for her,” Aragorn took a deep breath and contemplated her words. “She dreams of the journey south. If ever I doubted Gandalf’s wisdom of bringing her with us, I dare not doubt now. She knows many things that will happen. We have spoken of this before,” he shifted himself away from the sleeping girl. And motioned for Legolas to join him on the balcony.

“Before while we were still in Bree, we spoke of changing things, things she saw in her visions. We changed one in Amon Sul. She had seen Frodo being stabbed with a Morgul blade. A wound he would never fully recover from. We prevented that, he will never know that pain,” Aragorn paused thinking back to Bree again. “She spoke of one falling and being able to prevent it but that she wouldn’t because if it didn’t happen the outcome would darkness. She should not have such decisions on her shoulders.”

He turned back to stare at the girl. “She is so young yet. Elf or human fifteen summers is no time at all.” He turned to his friend as Legolas coughed.

“Fifteen summers,” he gasped.

“You didn’t know?” Aragorn smirked.

“Young, I knew, but.. Dear Valar! I’m bonded to a babe,” Legolas’s eyes grew huge then narrowed dangerously thinking of Renee’s past.

Aragorn watched the elf’s eyes and color darken his face in anger. “Don’t think on it mellon nin. She is here now, and safe. But you see now why I have claimed her as kin. And why she is so dependent on me. I was the first person she met here in Middle-Earth. I tended her wounds. Though it still took weeks before she would trust me enough to touch me voluntarily, even with her gloves on.”

“This bond we share, it makes her uncomfortable in my presence. Perhaps I should not accompany you on this journey,” Legolas worried.

“Nonsense, give her time. Give her room to grow but never leave her side. That is what she needs from you.” He turned back to stare across the grounds of fair Rivendell. “From us both.”


Continued in 'Falling for You'

Goheno nin mellon nin - forgive me my friend
Laes - babe
Ellon - male elf