Ithilion

Title: Ithilion
Author:Githoniel
Part: 9/9
Pairing: Melpomaen/??
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer:All elves belong to Mr. Tolkien!!!
Warning:AU, slash, male-preg.
Beta: my alter ego
Summary: There has never been much happiness in Melpomaen’s life, but when he finds out he is pregnant, he knows things have to change...
Authors Note: // = thoughts, ~~ = memories

Part 9


“Erestor? You look pale. Why don’t you go to your room and take a nap? You still seem unwell.”

Melpomaen looked at the chief advisor in concern. Erestor hadn’t been himself for more than a week now and no one, except for Lord Elrond maybe, seemed to know the reason for this. The darkhaired elf massaged his temples.

“No need to worry, my friend. I’m just tired. It will pass...”

The young scribe stepped closer to his tutor and friend and put his hand on the dark elf’s shoulder.

“Erestor – don’t you want to tell me, what is wrong with you? You can trust me, I wish you wouldn’t doubt – “

“I don’t doubt that, Mel! You have become a true friend to me. The truth is, I carry a dark secret, not so unlike yours... I cannot talk about it. Not yet. I will tell you one day, but – “
the advisors trembling voice faltered, Erestor suddenly seemed to sway on his feet and would have collapsed if Melpomaen hadn’t managed to steady him just in time.

“Erestor! I take you to your room.”

“You don’t need to... Just a weak moment. I’m ok.”

“You are far from ok, my friend.”

“Melpomaen – really... I – “ but when he saw the determination in the young scribes eyes he gave in. “You are right. I’m taking a short nap in my room. There’s no need for you to go with me, I will manage alone.”

With concerned eyes the young scribe watched the darkhaired advisor leave the library.

Melpomaen sat down at his desk and stared at the opened book without really reading what was written there... If only he knew of a way to help Erestor – if he at least knew the reason for the advisor’s suffering.


A few moments later the loud bang of the library door made Melpomaen jump from his seat with a scream on his lips.

“Who is it?” Haldir’s voice shouted through the bookshelf-filled room. “Who is your bastard child’s father?”
The Galadhrim grabbed Melpomaen by the collar of his robe and shook him violentely. “Is it me, little whore? Am I the father of this bastard?”

“Haldir!” Elrohir stormed into the library right behind the furious blond warrior. “Let go of Melpomaen at once! And you will not insult him or his son anymore, am I understood?”

The marchwarden whirled around.

“I’m saying nothing but the truth! Ask him! Ask Melpomaen what he did when he was living in Lothlorien.”

“Mel?”

The young scribe stood trembling and clenched his teeth so hard that his jaw hurt.

“Mel, tell me what this Galadhrim is talking about!” Elrohir seemed confused.

“Yes Mel, tell your lover how you workerd as Loriens most famous whore, how you serviced half of its warriors at night, how you serviced ME these last days... “

The young Peredhel twin felt as if he was punched in the guts. The colour left his face when he asked his lover in a small voice: “Is this true, Mel?”

Melpomaen had a hard time speaking. Swallowing his tears he sobbed: “I’m sorry.... Yes, yes he’s right. I was a whore. I serviced the Lorien warriors and one of these nights I conceived and was cast out. I won’t tell you, who Ithilion’s father is. It’s not Haldir, but that is all I will say. This secret I’ll keep forever. Elrohir, believe me – I never wanted to lie to you, or betray you...I love you. Forgive me – saes.... I- ”

“How could you... you...Get out of my sight!”

Melpomaens heart broke at hearing his lover hissing those cruel words. Not able to hold his tears anymore, he turned around and fled from the library, not seeing the dark elf, who stood in the shadows next to the opened door.

Erestor hadn’t been able to sleep like he had wanted to and had come back to get something to read – during the argument he had been standing outside and listened every word, but now he stepped inside the library.

“What are you waiting for, Elrohir?... go behind him! Hurry!”

Elrohirs eyes blazed with rage when he answered his former tutor: “I cannot. You have no idea...”

“Oh but you have? You didn’t even bother to ask him about his past, his reasons for lying... You only feel your pride was hurt and now you want to hurt him as well. Do you really love him, Ro?”

Haldir snorted at that: “He’s better off without that little whore.”

Erestor was close to slapping the arrogant Galadhrim. “I’m not talking to you! You call yourself a marchwarden of Lorien, but you aren’t worthy of that uniform you wear, you poor excuse for an elf.” He shouted. “You’d better leave this library now before I forget myself!”

The Marchwarden followed Erestors advise and left quickly.

Elrohirs former tutor placed his hand under the younger twin’s chin and forced him to meet his eyes.

“You could have asked Mel about his reasons for lying to you. You could have spend at least one minute to listen to his point of view. But you were to busy to act like a spoiled brat. You were not raised to behave like that. Ro, you know nothing about Melpomaen’s past... he has been trough a lot. Have you even thought about that? Do you even want to know what happened to the one you pretend to love, before you decide that you cannot forgive him?”

“He lied to me – betrayed me, Erestor... how can I forgive him that?” Elrohir shouted but the anger had gone from his features and only pain was left behind. “I love him – I really love him. Oh Valar – it hurts so much, Erestor... so much...”

Erestor drew the Peredhel lord in a tight embrace. “I know, pen-neth... I know. But listen: whatever happened, I’m sure Mel never wanted to hurt you. I KNOW that he didn’t. He loves you. Never doubt that. And now, you will ask him about his past... Go! Go after him and...”

Erestor had no chance to finish his words for suddenly he felt weak, all around him turned black and he collapsed in the younger twin’s arms.

“Erestor, Erestor what’s wrong? I’ll take you to ada....”
Elrohir scooped up the advisors light body and ran to the healing wing.

Elrond and some other healers were busy treating some wounded guards. Elrond cursed when he saw in what state his chief advisor was in.

“I knew this would happen. I told him it was to early to start working again, that he would need more rest. Place him on the cot, Elrohir... I’ve got something that should wake him up and then I’ll give him a potion to strengthen him.”

Elrohir did as he was told and watched with anxious eyes his father treating his former tutor. It didn’t take long for Erestor to regain consciousness again, due to a piece of cloth soaked with a strong scented oil. The younger twin held the advisor’s hand while Elrond went to take one of his phiols out of a cupboard.

“Mel... you need to t-talk to Mel, Ro... Go!” Erestor whispered, his voice betraying his weakness.

“There’s no need to worry, ion-nin. This is just a passing weakness...” Elrond said while helping his dark haired friend and advisor to gulp the bitter medicine down and once this was done, Erestor fell back into the cushion and his eyes closed.
“This will put him asleep for a while..”

“What’s wrong with Erestor, ada?”

“It’s not my place to reveal his secrets, Ro. Ask him, once he’s awake again and see if he’s going to tell you...Since you are already here, maybe you could be of help. There was an ork-ambush near the border this morning, there are several wounded border guards.”

“Near the border you say? There was no alert!”

“A small band of orcs – no need to worry. But I don’t like having them that near by our hidden valley. I’ve send Glorfindel, your brother and not too small a patrol to deal with them.”

“Would it be ok, if I helped you later, ada? I need to talk to Mel – it’s important.”

Elrond saw his son’s serious look and nodded. Before the lord of Imladris looked after his other patients again, he covered Erestor with a warm wooden blanket. Tenderly he stroked the raven hair.

“Ah my friend... you really need to face your past soon or else it will kill you.”


In front of Melpomaen’s chamber, Elrohir hesitated. His lover had lied to him from the very start of their realtionship – Melpomaen had betrayed him. But Erestor had hinted that there was more to this than meets the eye. He wanted to know the truth now...

Elrohir knocked but didn’t receive an answer, so the younger twin opened the door.

“Mel?”

The room was abandonned.
Elrohir was about to eave when something on the bed caught his eye – it was an envelope with his name.
With trembling hands, Elrohir opened it and began to read.


My dearest Elrohir,

I know there are no words in the world to make you forgive my lies, but I feel I owe you an explanation.
Yes – I sold my body, I did so since my coming of age and it wasn’t always my choice. I’ve never learned anything else, I always thought it was the only thing I was good at. I didn’t know I was able to bear live. It was a shock, when I learned I was pregnant.
When you found me and helped to bring my ion into this world, I didn’t know how to answer your questions. And when you offered me to come wih you and find a home in this valley, I thought it was a second chance that was given to me. I chance to start a new life, to forget what was in my past – for Ithilion, I did it all for my son...

Just like what I’m doing now, I do for his sake: I’m leaving. I was a fool thinking I could bury my past. I am what I am. My past will always haunt me – I can live with that... but I cannot stand the thought of my ion ever looking at me in disgust. Therefore I need to leave here – need to leave him!
For me, you will always be Ithilion’s adar. Therefore I hope I’m not asking too much when I beg you now to care for my ion, to let im grow up in your family. His life will be better if he stays with you and never learns of his parent’s shame.

One more thing I want you to know I may not have been honest to you, but when I said I love you it wasn’t a lie. You were the first and most likely will be the last elf to make me feel like that. I’ll carry this love for you just like I carry the love for my son with me wherever the Valar may lead me.

I will never forget you.

Mel



Elrohir stared at the word, his lips formed the word even before a single sound left his throat. “NO! You will not leave me!”

He didn’t waste time but ran to the stables and saddled his horse. The guards at the gate cautioned him not to leave. “There are fightings going on at the border... It’s not a good day for a ride, my Lord Elrohir.”

But the young Half-Elf didn’t stop his horse... while riding through the gate full speed he shouted back: “Melpomaen is out there. Inform my adar!”

He rode hard for more than an hour and he could already hear the sound of fighting not too far away. He recognized Glorfindel’s voice shouting orders. Normally he would have joint Imladris’s warriors, but first he needed to find his lover. Melpomaen couldn’t have get much further than this. Elrohir shouted his lovers name untilhe was hoarse. He was just about to turn his horse and search in another direction, when a faint whisper reached his ears:

“Ro!”

It came from behind some bushes. There Elrohir found the young elf, an arrow in his chest. His skin was deadly pale, blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.

“Mel – oh Valar, NO!” With the eyes of a trained healer Elrohir saw at once what had happened. The arrow had pierced Melpomaen’s lung. How long had his lover been lying here?

“Can’t ... breathe..” Melpomaen’s voice was nothing more than a whisper.

“Don’t speak, meleth. I need to remove the arrow, I need... where’s my bag. Valar – give me strength!”

The Peredhel twin wanted to retrieve his bag but Melpomaen held him back. “No... don’t leave... too late.”

“Saes, Mel... don’t say that. You must fight – for Ithilion, for me...”

“Ro... promise me... Ithilion. Care – care for... him,love.”

“I promise you whatever you want, but you cannot leave me... do you hear me? You CANNOT!”

“I- I’m sorry...Ro... Ro, ...love...”

A strange sound left the young elf’s throat and he went limp in his lover’s arms. The heart stopped its beating and the body released the fea – Melpomaen’s soul traveled to Namo’s halls.


Elrohir noticed the pale skin growing cold and shook the body in panic, screaming Melpomaen’s name over and over. Then he broke down next to the death elf and cried. Hours passed. Elrohir never noticed the sound of fighting ceased and tired but victoriuos elves surrounding him. He didn’t feel his twin’s arms around him, didn’t hear Glorfindel’s anxious voice sending two soldiers to get Elrond. Elrohir just clung to Melpomaen’s dead body.
He felt a stabbing pain in his heart. “Is this how it ends? I cannot live without you, Mel... I’ll follow you!” But a small voice in his head whispered: //Remember your promise... you need to be strong now, for Ithilion... you must live.//