The Warrior and the Poet(Extended Edition)

Part Eight: Loss of Innocence


"Mama, wake up." Moragain’s insistent voice called through the mist of my dreams as I felt her land on the bed. "Mama, it’s time for breakfast."

I heard a soft elven chuckle as I burrowed deeper under the blankets and grumbled.

"Ithilin, do not make me send Gimli in there." Legolas snickered.

"Ah, now that sounds like something that this dwarf could do." The dwarf burred blithely, patting the comforter beside me apparently with the head of his axe, "Rousting a lazy female out of bed."

"Don’t even!" I growled as I threw the covers off.

Groaning, I blinked at the rays of bright sunshine that sent dust motes dancing in the air. Argh! Mid-morning already. I really did not want to get up seeing as this was the first real bed I had slept in, in some time.

"You are impossible!" I grumbled, tossing a pillow at the laughing elf.

Legolas threw the pillow back at me, narrowly missing my head. "Here, Lady Éowyn sent this for you," he said tossing me a kirtle of soft rust colored wool and a gray-blue sir coat, a smirk tugging at the corners of his slender mouth.

"A dress? Now explain to me how I’m going to be able to ride in this. Besides, my tunic and leggings should be dry by now." I said sarcastically as I held it up in front of me. "Or do you not think it would be improper for me to ride astride a horse in this?"

"I have a feeling that that is why she sent it for you." Aragorn said as he stepped into the room. "I am guessing that she is threatened by the way we treat you."

"Why? You don’t treat me any differently than any other member of the Fellowship." As soon as I said it I realized that that was why the younger woman felt threatened. "Never mind. Thank you for not treating me like a feather brained woman."

Aragorn chuckled and patted my cheek. "You have proven many times over that you are far from feather brained, Ithilin. You have risen to meet the challenges set before you and performed far better than I expected seeing as you are from a different time and are so very inexperienced." He cupped my face in his rough hands and looked down into my eyes. His silvery stare was intense The power I felt in his gaze made me shiver slightly. "You have given me hope, little sister. Hope that Men will survive this darkness."

"I hope you are right about that, Aragorn." I whispered in a tight voice. "I hope my being here hasn’t destroyed my future."

"But where is your future, little one? Here with us or in your time with your family?"

I rested my forehead against his chest, breathing in his scent. He smelled not like a man that I knew of , but had more the scent that I had come to associate with elves. Of course Legolas was the only elf that I had been in close quarters with but even when he perspired he didn’t have that "manly" scent. However, Aragorn’s scent was more earthy than Legolas’.

I sighed heavily. I hadn’t realized how much I cared about them. I would miss this. "I don’t have a choice, Estel. My heart wants to stay here, but thinking with the heart often leads to more complications. I can not think of myself. I haven’t been able to for a very long time. Others come first, others who mean the world to me."

"I will miss you, Ithilin. Your wonder at our world."

"It is not yet time to say Namárië, Estel." I said smiling up at him and letting my arms encircle his slender waist. Eru! What I wouldn’t do to keep these men, this feeling of security, this sense that I was finally doing something with my life. "These things can wait."

"You will always be dear to me, little sister." He bent his head and kissed my forehead.

"Mama," Moragain called impatiently as she tugged on my hand, "I’m hungry!"

"You go with Ada and the others, Moragain. They will see to it that you get some breakfast. I’ll join you when I’m dressed."


* * *


"Lady Ithilin." Éowyn said coolly as I entered the Golden Hall, "I see that you are properly dressed

"Lady Éowyn, I wanted to thank you for lending me this dress." I inclined my head as a measure of respect to the younger woman. "I truly appreciate your generosity."

"What are you to Lord Aragorn?"

"I don’t know what you mean, my lady." I answered, surprised slightly by her bluntness. "He looks upon me as a sister, nothing more, I assure you."

"But what about you?"

"I do not desire him if that is you meaning. His heart is given elsewhere. He is my brother and very dear to me. I do not wish to see him hurt."

She gave me a guarded look as though she was weighing what my words meant. "I have heard that the elves treat their women differently than the men of my country treat us. Is this true."

"I can not say, Lady Éowyn, since I was only among the elves for a short time."

"But Lord Aragorn, Master Gimli and the elf treat you differently than any men I have seen. Why?"

"It is their way," I answered quietly. "You are a strong woman, Éowyn. Far stronger than I." I gazed directly at her. "You will win the renown that you seek but do not be over hasty."

"Are you a prophetess?"

I smiled, realizing that my knowledge didn’t have to be a burden. Perhaps I, too, could speak in riddles like Gandalf. Thus divulging what I knew with out interfering with the course of events but I would still have to be careful. "I suppose you could say that I am, in a manner of speaking."

She smiled back. The first one I had seen on her face since our arrival.

"Ithilin," Legolas called from one of the tables in the great hall. He had Moragain seated on his lap, deftly braiding her curly hair away from her face as she ate. "I managed to save some milk and porridge for you."

"No doubt Gimli would have eaten it if you hadn’t been slapping his hands away." I laughed as I strolled over to them.

"Look Mama, strawberries and blueberries!" Moragain squeaked happily as she popped one of the berries in question in her mouth with purple stained hands and gave me a purple grin.

"Legolas is going to be washing you up, my young one." I smiled at him as he caught one of her blueberry hands before it landed on his jerkin. "Otherwise you’ll be riding with him today and I don’t think Arod is partial to blueberry hand prints on his withers."

Legolas grinned back then winced as Moragain’s free hand patted his pale cheek, leaving little purple fingerprints on the skin.

"You accepted this position, meleth." I laughed as he wiped the blueberry juice from his cheek, "You have no one to blame but yourself." :Be thankful it wasn’t your hair, melethron.:

He chuckled as he lifted her from his lap and took her purple stained hand in his then led her outside but not before he gave me a quick kiss. :Parenthood is messy.:

:Ah, but this is cleaner than the first part of their lives, Legolas.:

He looked back at me with a good-natured smile. "But I can blame Gandalf for making me a parent before I knew what I was getting myself in to, can’t I?"

"Nope. You can’t pawn it off on anyone else, meleth-nîn."

His smile widened, "It was worth a try. Nay, melethril, I would not trade these days with you two for all my father’s gold and jewels." He looked down fondly at my daughter as a lone silver tear slipped down his cheek. "At least I will know what it was like to be an Ada, if only for a short time."

I wanted to run after him as he and Moragain left the hall. I could see this eating at him but we both knew that she and I did not belong here. I hated what I had done to both of us. I hated myself for falling in love with this wonderful elf who gave me so much of himself without a thought of what he would get in return, which would be nothing in a few days. Moragain and I would return to our time and go back to our regular lives, so would he, but both of us with a measure of sadness for what could and should never have been.


* * *


"By order of the king, the city must empty!" the king’s head guard called out as I followed Legolas and Gimli as they made their way to the stables to make ready to leave. "We make for the refuge of Helm’s Deep. Take only what provisions you need."

We traveled light as it was, we couldn’t get much lighter. I kicked myself mentally as I turned to go back inside and collect Moragain. A few more days, and she and I would be sleeping in our own beds and going about our lives. Little will have changed.

Suddenly my stomach rebelled and I fell to my knees retching over the side on the stone stairs as I desperately tried to gather my hair away from my face.

"Lady Ithilin?" Éowyn said, kneeling beside me. "Are you ill?"

"I don’t know." I croaked over another heave. "Get Master Legolas. He’s in the stables."

She nodded and left me leaning against the sun warmed stones, panting heavily against my mutinous insides.

"Ithilin." came the soft lilt of Legolas’ voice a few minutes later. "Lady Éowyn said you were ill."

"I think that’s the understatement of the millennia, melethr -"

He laughed, pulling my hair away from my face as I retched again.

"I’m sorry."

"For what, Ithilin." he said softly as he rubbed my back. I could feel his energies work to calm my rebellious stomach and tensed muscles. "I love you and I firmly believe that if things were different, you would stay here."

"You don’t know how many times I have wished they were, my Greenleaf. I need you but there are too many others depending on me. I go back for them."

"I know."

"Legolas?" Aragorn called as he bounded up the steps. "Ithilin are you all right?"

"Yes, big brother." I chuckled as Legolas helped me to my feet. "Porridge and I don’t get along well. Not since Moragain was born anyway. I can’t look at it without wanting to heave."

"I have never liked the stuff either, little sister." He chuckled, patting my cheek, "Maybe it is that you have gone without much food for so long that it did not sit well."

"It’s possible." I agreed. "Are we ready to leave?"

He nodded, "Théoden asked me to collect some things from the Hall but you two get Moragain and mount up."

We stood there in silence a while after Aragorn left us, just soaking up each other’s company. I liked having his strong arms around me, the feel of his lips pressing against the crown of my head, everything about him. I would never have this again, this quiet peace that I felt in his arms.

"Thank you," he whispered, "for everything."

"Why, melethron?" I answered as I turned to face him and nuzzled his neck. "It’s going to be hard for you when Moragain and I leave."

"It will be hard on both of us, Ithilin. I have a life of celibacy ahead of me; you go back to a marriage that is crumbling from lack of deep love."

"But I do love him, Legolas. That’s why it has hurt so much. It’s just that he can’t give me what I need." I explained. "You have given me so much. This bond we share is what I have been searching for all my life. I feel you with me all the time now."

He kissed my forehead, "I wondered if you could feel it. It is what has enabled us to speak mind to mind."

"I just hope it stays intact when I return home."

"I do too," he said tightly, "For both our sakes."


* * *


Moragain sat in front of Legolas on Arod, peppering him unceasingly with questions about magic.

"Magic is all around you, little one," he said. "It lies asleep in you. In Nana, it is awakening. I use it constantly. It’s just a mater of knowing how to tap it and use it."

"Do you say spells?"

"No." Legolas laughed heartily, "Only wizards need spells. Mine is a natural magic, Moragain. It heightens my senses, making me a better tracker than most humans. I am able to talk to animals and trees."

"Trees can talk?" she asked in wonderment, tilting her head back to gaze up at him.

He kissed her little nose and chuckled, "Yes, my little love, trees can speak. Everything around you has a soul and a voice."

"Will you teach me to talk to trees and animals, Ada?"

"I wish I could, Moragain," he said sadly, "But you and Nana will be going home soon."

She twisted in his arms and gazed up at him confused. "But why?"

"Because we do not belong here, Moragain," I answered softly, the knot in my throat tightening painfully. "Besides, what would Daddy and your brothers do without us? And what about school?"

"You and Ada could teach me, Mama. You’re a good teacher."

"Nana is right, Moragain. You can not stay here. This world, this time is not your own." He said holding her tight to him. "However much it hurts my heart to let you and Nana go, I must because I love you both very much and I know this life is not for you."

:But I want this life, Legolas.:

:I know but you have made the right decision, my love.: He thought back, :You and I will be the only ones hurt. Others will benefit from our sacrifice.:


* * *


"Ouch!" I hissed as the flat of Aragorn’s blade connected with my thigh.

Moragain, who sat high out of the way on a large rock, giggled as she watched me rub the sore spot. "Get him, Mama!" she called.

"I’m trying!"

"No, you are not and you are not paying attention, Ithilin." he grunted batting my lunge at him away easily. "Moragain, if you do not watch quietly, you will be down here. I was younger than you when I held my first sword."

"Can I?" The hope in her young voice was a tangible thing.

"I swear you are trying to make me one big bruise, Estel," I hissed at him. "After the disaster at Amon Hen, I am in more need of this than she is. Besides, I doubt she would need this training so soon."

"No? These are perilous times and I’m trying to teach you how to use that thing, little sister, but I think I would get further with Moragain than I am with you," he panted as he side-stepped another lunge and the flat of his blade came down on my backside. "Unfortunately we do not have the luxury of wooden practice blades to use with her but if I must, she will be taught with live steel."

"When did you become such a smart ass, Estel?"

"He has always been that, meleth-nin," Legolas said with a grin as he stepped up quietly and laid his hand on Aragorn’s shoulder.

Aragorn’s eyes narrowed. "No. Legolas, you are to easy on Ithilin."

Legolas’ hands blurred as he flicked out his knives and moved to stand ready just opposite me. I watched him closely for any sign of movement and brought my sword up to ready, unsure of what he was trying to do.

Suddenly, he lunged at me. I backpedaled and blocked the blows, deflecting them harmlessly away.

"Good girl, Ithilin!" Aragorn commented as I blocked the knives again, this time without scrambling away.

I swallowed, taking confidence from Aragorn’s praise. I couldn’t read Legolas at all. He had all but closed off the link between us. But he could still read me. Consciously I dampened the part of the connection I held and smiled at the surprise that flashed across his face. He obviously was not expecting me to be able to do that. Smirking, I attacked sending him into retreat. I swung Hirilanna in high to defect the blows from Legolas’ knives. It was becoming more like a dance. Dance I could do. Once that realization hit me it became much easier to attack and block his advances.

I twisted and swerved, listening to an inner song as I avoided him easily then locked our blades hilt to hilt.

"Enough!" Aragorn called. I could hear the praise in his voice. "Where did that come from?"

"What?" I panted as I sheathed Hirilanna then rested my hands on my knees trying to calm my breathing.

"Something clicked, Ithilin. I saw it happen."

I laughed. "Am I that transparent, big brother?"

"We’ve been drilling you for over a fortnight and both of us have been able to easily break through your defense. But just now I could almost believe you would have put Legolas flat on his back."

:Not that I wouldn’t have let you, melethril.: Legolas’ mind voice snickered, "Aragorn is right, what happened?" he said aloud

"It’s a dance, Aragorn. I just realized that."

Legolas laughed, "That is exactly what it is, meleth, a deadly dance. Now that you know this, let us go again."

"But with an added danger." Aragorn smirked, drawing his sword.

"Aiya! Both of you?!" I croaked, backing away. "Look I just figured it out can’t I practice with just one of you for a little while longer?"

"No." they said simultaneously.

"Once I figured it out, little sister, Ada added three battle hardened elves."

"You were lucky, Estel, I got the entire royal guard. And that consisted of all twelve of Adar’s personal bodyguards and both arms-masters."

"How do you count me lucky, mellon-nin? Forget you that Glorfindel is worse that any six battle trained elves on a good day?"

Legolas laughed, "Ai, yes! How could I forget THAT training session?"

"I don’t think I want to hear about that particular tale," I said raising an eyebrow at the two of them. "You’re just trying to scare me. Your fathers can’t have been that hard on you."

"Fortunately for you that they really were." Aragorn chuckled ruefully, "Now again."

I sighed. Better to have the crap beaten out of you sooner rather than later. I just wished it didn’t have to be by these two. Again I dampened the link between Legolas and I and waited for one of them to strike first. To my surprise both of them attacked, Legolas coming in high; Aragorn low. I twisted away and parried their advance in one stroke.

"Valar!" Legolas hissed as the tip of my sword grazed his cheek, leaving a good four inch cut in its wake. "You’ll pay for that one, melethril."

"Not with blood I hope." I gasped, narrowly avoiding Aragorn’s own attack and batting his sword away.

"You’re getting better, little one."

"You try sparing in a skirt, Estel. I’m surprised neither of you has given me a lovely slit to my thigh."

"That can be arranged," they both snickered. Legolas smirked and made a slashing motion in the direction of my skirt.

I narrowed my eyes at them and smacked Legolas on the bum with the flat of my blade.

"That’s two." Legolas said licking his lips hungrily as he sheathed his knives. His sapphire eyes danced with unconcealed desire and he pulled me roughly to him. "You owe me, my love."

"Be gentle with me, oh mighty warrior elf." I said dramatically, putting my hand to my forehead and leaning back in his supporting arms. "I am but a fragile woman."

"Keep it up and I will drop you, melethril, just because I can," he said stifling a laugh.

I looked up at him and smiled, licking my lips invitingly. "What’s my penalty, my lord?"

"May I?" he asked looking at Aragorn who nodded and tried unsuccessfully to conceal a grin as he handed over his sword to the elf.

"Legolas, may I borrow a knife?" Aragorn said, nodding toward Moragain as he picked up a stick.

"Um . . ." I said trying to wiggle out of his arms but he held me all the tighter even as he slid a white handled knife from it sheath on his back and handed it to the Ranger.

"She needs to learn, tithen-thel."

"Just be careful," I replied, pushing against Legolas’ arm in another vain attempt to gain my freedom.

"Nay, my lusty wench." Legolas laughed as he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder like a sack of flour. "You are going to pay for the damages."

"Legolas, what are you going to do?"

He walked a short distance then set me down, keeping a firm hold on my wrist as he sat down on a rock. He smiled wantonly at me as he pulled me to him. "Lay across my lap, wench," he commanded.

"And if I don’t?"

"I can and will force you and your penalty will be doubled." His eyes danced mischievously.

I didn’t move, daring him to make good his threat. He laughed as he pulled me across his lap and took up Aragorn’s sword.

"Can I ask just what you are going to do with that, elf?" I asked pushing up against the rock he was sitting on.

He just grinned and using the flat of the blade he spanked me four times, hard.

"Retribution is hell," I grumbled when he let me up.

"I love you."

"No, you just love getting even."

He pulled me back onto his lap and kissed me. "I love you." he said again as we parted. His voice was sober and firm, he meant it.

I licked my thumb and wiped off the blood that had congealed on his cheek. The cut had already healed, the only sign that my sword had grazed his cheek was a quickly fading red mark.

"I love you, too, my elven prince."


* * *


Night spread her jeweled cloak over the plains as the Rohirrim bedded down for the night. Unable to sleep, myself, I climbed up on one of the rock outcrops that dotted the rolling landscape and gazed up at the stars above me.

Moragain lay curled in Legolas’ embrace, sleeping the peaceful sleep of all children her age. I envied her that peace, for much was weighing on my thoughts. I knew that Legolas would not sleep until I lay down next to him. It was comforting to know that his sharp elven eyes kept watch over me in the dark.

I hugged my knees closer to my chest, trying to rid the feeling of hopeless despair from my heart.

"So thoughtful, little sister." Came Aragorn’s soft baritone as he climbed up to sit beside me. "What weighs so heavily on your heart that you must sit awake when all others are asleep?"

"Why did I have to fall in love with him, Aragorn?" I whispered, watching the smoke from his pipe curl up into the night. The scent was a familiar one even in my world, one I associated with wisdom. "It’s impossible I don’t want him hurt, but I can not see any other path that will not cause pain to someone."

He sighed as he pulled me into his embrace. "I have watched both of you from the beginning, Ithilin. If you both had been different people, secure in your lives, you wouldn’t have needed the love and attention you have given to each other. I see how much he loves you and yes, he’s going to be hurt when you and Moragain go back to your own time. But he also knows that you do not belong here. Oh, Ithilin, you have touched so many lives. Not just Legolas’. Mine, Gimli’s, the hobbit’s, Boromir’s. How much good you have done here will never be known except by us who have known you and loved you."

I scrubbed a tear from my cheek, laying my head against his chest and listening to the steady beating of his heart.

"I don’t want to go, Estel." I sobbed quietly, "I need this life. I need him. I feel like I belong here, but I know what I am wanting is wrong on so many levels. My husband needs me and so do my children."

"You mate needs a doormat, Ithilin, not a wife," he snorted disdainfully, "You have changed so much in the last month and a half. You are stronger, more confident and much less arrogant now. But I understand your need to take care of your children and if that means going back to a life that has forgotten what love truly is then our hearts and hopes go with you."

"Thank you, big brother. It means everything to me to hear you say that."

He pulled me closer, kissing the crown of my head as he did so. "Do you think you can sleep now?"

"No." I chuckled, cuddling closer to his warmth. "I’m still going to hate myself in the morning regardless."

"Well, at least you’re laughing about it now."

"I just hope I can remember what it is to laugh when I return to my time."

"If you start to forget, just remember us. That will have you laughing in no time."

I laughed softly as he held me tighter. How much I would miss all the love and care I received from these men. How much would I not know about them because of my leaving? What would happen to Legolas, to Gimli, to Aragorn? While I knew the story and knew that Aragorn would become King of Gondor and would wed Arwen, what was their story, the one Tolkien did not write. Was there a "happily ever after" in this somewhere? And who was it for?

"Estel, I have to tell you something." I whispered, wondering if I was making another mistake by telling him about what Legolas and I had done.

"What is it?" he murmured absently as he smoothed my wind tangled hair down my back.

"Legolas and I were together last night."

"I know."

"But how." I pulled away and looked at him, puzzled. "We were trying to be discreet."

Aragorn smiled, "I know that he slept in your chamber last night, I was awake when he came in. While I do not entirely approve of what you did, I do understand why. I know that you share a tight bond with him that has been steadily growing since the night he slept at your side in Lórien. There is little that Legolas can hide from me because I, too, share a bond with him.

"Before you go haring off in that line of thinking, Ithilin, let me explain," he said putting a finger to my lips to prevent the startled outburst he could see coming. "My bond with Legolas is that of a Shield Brother. I can not sense him the way you do, Ithilin, nor will I ever be able to. I also can not speak mind to mind with him unless he is in physical contact with me. However, something tells me that you two have been speaking mind to mind since Lórien. Am I correct?"

I nodded.

"To my knowledge, he rarely speaks mind to mind to anyone, not even his own family. He has not wanted that kind of intimacy with anyone, especially since his mother died."

"What happened to her?" I asked, curious.

"That is not mine to tell, little one, but know that you came into his life and changed all of that. Ithilin, he is my best friend and I have never seen him like this. Granted I have only known him for a scant amount of years to the eight hundred that he has walked this earth, but I do know he has only had a small hand full of lovers in that amount of time. None of them serious affairs, none like this.

"He is very protective of both you and Moragain, something he has never done with any woman. The other night, when Moragain cried out, he kept watch the rest of the night. Something she said made him react differently than he normally does, made him more on edge, and I think it has something to do with you."

"She said something about someone hurting me." I said, letting him pull me close again. "I feel safer knowing Legolas won’t let any harm come to me but this sense of foreboding is making both of us uneasy."

I paused for a moment, thinking about what he had said.

"What would he have done had I spurned his advances instead of Boromir’s?" I asked quietly.

"Legolas is an elf, Ithilin. To him, no means no. He would not have pursued you and openly courted you if that had been the case." He chuckled ruefully, "As far as I’m concerned you are his life mate, little sister. One he loves so much that he is willing to risk death to see you back where you and your daughter belong."

"Please don’t say he will die because we leave, Estel." I whispered tightly as I played with the pendant that hung around his neck, the Evenstar, as it glittered softly in the moonlight. "You will need him and his wisdom in the years to come."

"I think his survival depends heavily on if your bond will survive the time jump. That is my biggest fear. If the bond disintegrates he will slowly waste away and nothing can be done to stop it. I can not will him to live if you are lost to him. It would not only be pointless but cruel as well."

"What can I do to make sure it remains intact?"

He sighed heavily, "Go to him. Keep in mental contact with him and as much physical contact as his sense of propriety will allow, which is considerable at this point. Like I said, I have never seen him like this."

"Aragorn." Legolas said softly behind us.

I had sensed his presence a moment before and shifted to look at him. He stood on the ground below glowing softly in the light of the waning moon. His pale hair shone silver as a light breeze caught several wisps and lifting them away from his head like gossamer strands of iridescent silk.

"Legolas." Aragorn said moving away from me in an unspoken compliance to Legolas’ show of power even though both men knew Aragorn meant me no harm.

"Come to bed, Ithilin. Tomorrow will be another long day," he said as he lifted me down from the boulder.

"She was upset, mellon-nîn."

"I know, Estel. I thank you for comforting her."

"She is worried about you."

:Legolas, why are you acting like this? Aragorn belongs to Arwen.:

He sighed and held me to him, tightly. :Forgive me, Ithilin. I know Aragorn means you no harm.:

:Then why the show?: I asked as I played with the clasps on his tunic.

:Tension.: he answered, nuzzling me then drawing me into a passionate kiss. :Something isn’t right here. Can you feel it?:

I nipped at his jaw. :Yes. The evil in this land stirs. I sense battle on the horizon.:

He moaned softly and unconsciously stepped closer to me as he lifted his chin while I continued to bite his jaw gently, playfully. Stepping backward, I leaned against the rocky outcrop, pulling him with me. I was making it very obvious what I wanted.

"Ai, Ithilin!" he breathed as his mouth sought mine, hungrily then traced down my exposed neck.

"I need you!" I whispered in his ear, wrapping my arms around his neck as he lifted me up and pinned me to the boulder. One of his hands burrowed into my hair.

I gasped softly as he kissed me, the link between us flaring brightly. I knew nothing but him. All I knew was my need for him and the passion in which he was giving himself to me, everything else had drowned in the darkness of the night.

"Ai, Legolas!" I cried, as a sharp rock jabbed into my back.

"Forgive me, Ithilin." he laughed softly, his breath warming my neck as his blond head fell to my shoulder. "You are no courtesan that gets taken pressed up against palace walls. You are my beloved and should have love made to you in a bed."

"Are you kidding?" I giggled breathlessly, leaning my head back against the rock, gazing at the stars in the dark vaulted sky. "That was fun. I’ve never done that. I almost wish you hadn’t stopped."

"Never?"

I shook my head, "Not only that, I have done to my husband exactly what I did to you and gotten no reaction."

He stared at me, anger flashing across his eyes. "Then I will give you all I can, whenever and wherever I can as time permits. You will not go back to him unsatisfied so that when you lie with him all you need do is think of our time together."

I let my head fall to his shoulder. "I hope it will be enough. It’s very frustrating when advances go unheeded."

"I will not ignore you, melethril. However, I may ask you to wait for a better time."

"I think I can deal with that."

"Come to bed. I hope I have stilled your thoughts enough to let you sleep now."

"You don’t have to take watch tonight?" I asked, brushing the wrinkles out of my skirts.

"I will not leave you and Moragain tonight if it is not necessary," he answered as he led me back to our bedrolls. Moragain lay curled up in Legolas’ cloak, her small hand clutching the Lórien broach the usually sat in the hollow of legolas’ throat. Laying down, he pulled me with him, settling me against his shoulder. :I will miss this.: his mind voice whispered as I began to drift into slumber.

:As will I, my love.: I sent back sleepily, :As will I.:


* * *


"Ithilin," Legolas’ voice came at my knee as I held Brytta to a fast walk. Moragain was relaxed against me, dozing. "I’m going to scout ahead."

I glanced up ahead at the crest of the next hill. "Be careful, Legolas. I sense danger."

"As do I. That is why I am going."

:Legolas, be prepared for a warg attack.:

He looked up at me, startled. :More fore knowledge?:

I nodded.

:Stay with the Rohirrim and make your way to Helm’s Deep when the cry goes up.: he said as he lifted himself up using my stirrup and sat behind me. His slender arms encircled my waist.

I smiled as I sought his mouth with mine. :Be careful, love. Come back to us in one piece."

:You doubt that I would?:

:It’s not you I don’t trust, Legolas. It’s those who are hell bent on destroying the world. Besides it makes me feel better to say it.:

:I will take great care to return safe, meleth,: he chuckled softly, giving me one last kiss as he hopped off my mount and jogged to the head of the column.

He had just made it to the crest of the hill when I saw him draw his bow and jump down out of sight.

:You were right!: he mind called. :Get the column turned. Get the women and children out of here!:

"Wargs!" Aragorn called as he ran to mount his horse. "We are under attack!"

"All riders to the head of the column!" Théoden commanded drawing his sword.

I saw Éowyn start to mount and Théoden stop her as I started to nudged the Rohirrim toward the lower path.

"Make for the lower ground!" she called, bitterness seeping into her voice. "Stay together!"

I pulled Brytta up beside her, "Now is not your time, my lady. This is only the first of many battles yet to come. Your people need to look to someone in their fear. Someone to lead them to safety."

She looked up at me, squinting in the light of the mid afternoon sun. "You can not tell me that you are content to let men fight your battles for you, Lady Ithilin."

"Only the ones that I know I can not win, my lady. This just happens to be one of them," I replied calmly. "I am no warrior, Éowyn, but neither will I accept that I have a certain place in life. I will fight when I must and only to defend those who can not defend themselves."

"Will you do as your men command?"

"That depends. I trust Aragorn and Legolas enough to know they would not command me to do something I was not ready for. It has only happened once and all of us were very lucky it didn’t cost me my life. But they remedied that by teaching me what I needed to know."

"What happened?" she asked as Moragain stirred.

"A battle with some Uruk-hai at Amon Hen," I said softly. "One of our company was killed in the attack. I tried to prevent his death but was unable to because of my inability to use a weapon of any kind."

"I am sorry."

"Lord Aragorn and Master Legolas have been drilling me on sword work ever since. I refuse to be helpless."

"I saw some of that last evening, you are quite good." she said.

"I’ve had two very good teachers."

"They also have a considerable love for you and your daughter. How is it that you travel with them on such a dangerous road?"

"Fate, Lady Éowyn. But I would not trade an hour of our time together."


* * *


Hours passed and no sign of the men after we had reached Helm’s Deep. Éowyn and I busied ourselves along with the other women laying provisions into the caves behind the keep.

"Make way for the king!" A guard called from the battlements above the gate.

We ran to meet them as they dismounted.

"So few have returned." Éowyn said looking around at the weary men.

"Our people are safe." Théoden said as he passed her, heading up to the keep. "We have paid dearly for it with many lives."

"Legolas!" I cried, launching myself into his arms as soon as he dismounted. "Thank the Valar, you came back to me safe."

I was relieved that he didn’t pull away. Instead he hugged me tightly, even nipping at my ear as he buried his face in my neck. "I promised you that I would, meleth. I have my honour to uphold, do I not?"

"That you do, my greenleaf."

:I have never had such a welcome, meleth-nîn,: his mind whispered. :Long have I envied my father and my brothers as their women have welcomed them back from battle or a hunt. Now it is my turn.:

The images he sent me of his family and the reunions made me pull away from him slightly.

:I’m sorry, Legolas. I shouldn’t have done that.:

:No, I am very glad that I could have it, even if it is just this once.:

"Why?" I asked aloud, keeping my voice low.

"Knowing you will soon be gone changes nothing about my love for you." he replied slipping into elvish as we often did together. "I want you to do these things. I need you to do these things.

"Ada!" Moragain cried running up and grabbing him around the waist. "Mama said you had to go fight."

"That I did," he answered her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into our embrace.

"You didn’t get hurt did you? Mama said she would teach me how to bandage an owie if one of you got hurt."

He looked at me than gave her an indulgent smile. "Yes, as a matter of fact I did get hurt, penneth nîn. Can you tend to me?"

Moragain gazed up at me pleadingly. I stifled a laugh and nodded. "Go fetch my pack, Moragain, and we’ll fix your Ada’s owie."

"Yay!" she squeaked and ran off to collect it.

"You aren’t really hurt, are you?" I asked him, scanning him for signs of injury.

"It is nothing more than what you gave me yesterday, but let her tend it."

"I’ll be the judge of that. Show me."

He showed me the bloody rip in his tunic sleeve that was barely visible beneath sleeve of his jerkin. "The fabric fared worse than I did, melethril."

I wet a finger and touched it to the drying blood on his arm. "I wish I healed that fast."

He smiled, chuckling softly, "I would warrant that you have at least a drop of elven blood in your veins, meleth. How else could our bond have formed so fast? Why you are sensing things differently than you used to," his voice dropped to a whisper, "Why we can speak mind to mind so easily and without having to touch each other to do so."

I dropped his gaze remembering what Aragorn had said last night. "Aragorn said that you rarely use this ability, even with your family."

He took my hand and we walked up the steps toward the keep. "He is the only one besides you that I mind speak with, Ithilin." he said bitterly.

"Speaking of Aragorn," I said glancing back at the horses as they were led away, "Where is he?"

"He fell," he answered tightly.

I stopped and looked at him, then I remembered. "You have the Evenstar?"

"Yes."

"Legolas, the Valar protect him." I said touching the pendant that lay in his hand. "He isn’t dead. He is meant to be King of Gondor though he still has yet to claim his birthright." The sky was darkening quickly, soon it would be too dark for Aragorn to travel. "Look for his return at least by late tonight if not mid-day tomorrow."

"Mama, Ada!" Moragain hurried up the steps behind us carrying a small pack.

"Oh good," he said breaking into a smile. "My healer is here. Now the pain in my arm will go away."

"You’re teasing, Ada." She giggled as he lifted her up in his arms.

"No I am not. See." He said showing her the bloody tear on his sleeve as we walked into the keep.

Her little blue eyes grew very wide at the sight of all the blood. The cut had to have been pretty deep when he first got it for the fabric to have been stained so badly.

"Did Mama kiss it?"

He laughed, "She said I should wait and let you do that. She told me that you have the most magical kisses."

"Does it really hurt?"

"Yes, tithen Arien, sword cuts hurt something wicked. But then you will make all better, will you not?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then reached over and stuck her finger in the tear, poking his bicep.

"Ouch!" he winced. The bond between us had deepened so much, I could sense his pain. Gently he encased her hand in his much larger one. "You have pointy little fingers, my precious one."

"I’m sorry!" she whimpered, shrinking away. "I didn’t mean to hurt you

"Moragain, it hurts, yes. But you did not believe that it did because I do not register the pain like you do."

"Does it hurt bad?"

Legolas smiled at her and hugged her close. "Let me do something," he said lifting her chin so she met his sapphire gaze, "It will feel a little funny until you get use to it."

She eyed him cautiously, "What are you going to do?"

"Nanna and I are able to speak to each other without moving our mouths. She can also sense me." he explained patiently as he set her down on the bench and unbuckled his quiver harness. "You will be able to sense both of us soon, Moragain."

"But how?" she asked watching as I took his bow and quiver and set them aside. "Are you talking to her now?"

"No." he smiled as he unhooked his jerkin and tunic. "But we do quite often."

She glanced at me worriedly. Suddenly I became aware her young mind trying steel itself for what might lay beneath his torn sleeve.

:Legolas, she’s afraid that it’s worse than it is.:

:You are sensing her?: he asked.

I nodded.

:Good. Try speaking to her.:

:Moragain.: I called tentatively.

"Mama?" she looked at me, her little eyes big as saucers. "You’re talking in my head."

:It’s all right, little one. I never thought it possible either.:

Legolas laughed and I cocked an eyebrow at him, which only made him laugh harder.

"Give me that shirt, prissy elf, before I spank you." I said grabbing the collar of his tunic and jerkin and tugging lightly on them.

"Let me get these guards off first, hasty woman." he chuckled back as he twisted on the bench to give me a quick kiss. :First you want me to keep my clothes on, now you want them off. Make up your mind, woman.:

:I’m a woman, my Greenleaf, I’m allowed to change my mind.:

"You’re an elf?" Moragain asked him. It had never dawned on us that she had never noticed the difference between Legolas and I. "But I though elves were little old men with big pointed ears and long white beards."

The look on Legolas’ face was priceless. His dark eyebrows had crept precariously close to his hairline and a slight disbelieving smile graced his slender mouth. I nearly laughed out loud.

"Yes, Moragain, I am an elf" he said slowly as he loosened the lacings on his arm guards and slid them over his wrists.

"No you aren’t." she said crossing her arms across her chest and looking at him as sternly as any seven-year-old would.

Legolas brushed his long hair behind his ears revealing their pointed tips. "I have pointed ears, meleth, see. And I am old, I have walked this earth for nearly eight hundred years."

Moragain reached out to touch his ears. When I moved to stop her, Legolas shook his head. :Let her satisfy her curiosity. I can control my reaction to someone other than you touching my ears, Ithilin.:

"They’re so soft," she breathed, her little face just inches from his. "But you can’t be eight hundred years old. Nobody can be that old."

"Ah, but I am," he replied as he shrugged out of his jerkin and tunic. "I have seen many battles over the centuries but I have never had such fair ladies to care for me when I have been injured."

"What is that?" She pointed to the tattoo that encircled his left arm. Just below it lay the quickly healing cut.

"What is what?"

"This," she said, gently touching the knot-work pattern on his arm. "It’s pretty."

:Ithilin, we have protected her from this war. How do I explain this?: he asked, giving me a lost look.

:We cannot hide the truth from her, Legolas. She is a part of it now.: I nodded. "What does it look like to you, Moragain?"

"It looks kind of like a bracelet but it’s . . ." she ran her fingers over it design again, tracing the curve of the tengwar letters that were wound into the intricate pattern, "it’s on your skin. Mama says I’m not allowed to draw on my skin."

I coughed and glanced away from his questioning gaze.

"I am a warrior, Moragain. Only warriors have markings like this."

Moragain cocked an eyebrow at him. "Warriors are allowed to draw on themselves?" she asked skeptically

"Would that it were only that simple." Legolas smiled tightly. "It is not a pretty ornament, hên-nîn. Its purpose is only identification."

"Identification?"

He nodded, casting his gaze away from her. I could feel his anxiety about the battles that lay ahead rising and his fear that he would be among the dead.

:All will be well, my love,: I whispered, letting my fingers brush his cheek.

:I pray that you are correct, Ithilin-nîn.: he answered as he turned toward my touch, seeming to seek the small comfort I could give him. "Moragain, this torque is so that my body can be returned to my family should I die in battle."

Fear, so powerful I had to reach out and steady myself against Legolas’ solid presence, lanced through my new link to Moragain. Through the haze I felt his hand firmly grasp my arm to steady me.

"Sîdh, penneth," he soothed, cuddling Moragain close to us. "Sîdh. Shush. Nana does not foresee it happening and I trust her word."

Moragain nodded mutely then bowed her head shyly. "Do you love Mama?" she asked softly.

We looked at each other, not entirely sure of what to say.

"Yes," he answered as I inspected the rip in his tunic sleeve, his sapphire gaze intense.

"Then why do you want us to go?"

I saw the look of pain as it crossed his face and watched him drop his gaze from hers.

"Moragain," I said softly, "It’s not that Legolas wants us to go. It’s not that at all."

A silver tear streaked down his fair cheek. :I wondered when she would ask.: he said, the pain evident in his mind voice.

"Ada, you’re crying. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings."

"You did not, Moragain. It’s just that it will hurt so much to let you and Nana go back to your Adar and your brothers," he explained folding her into his embrace. "I do not want you to go at all but I must let you go. You do not belong here." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and let her loose. "Now are you going to take care of my owie, Moragain."

She gazed at him steadily for a moment then flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Ada."

He choked on a sob. "Only Ilúvatar knows how much I love you, little one." He croaked, his voice barely above a whisper, as he crushed her to his bare chest and kissed her curly head. "Oh how I wish you were mine!"

"I can’t breathe, Ada."

"Oh!" he half laughed, half sobbed as he let her go.

"Now, Nana," she said switching to the elvish form of Mama as she laid her hand over the cut on Legolas’ arm, "how do I do this?"

"First we need to clean the blood off" I answered, handing her a wet towel. "Be gentle but make sure you get all of the dirt out of the cut. Orc blades are oft times poisoned and Ada could get very sick."

"What’s an orc?"

"They are fell creatures that were once elves." Legolas answered soberly. "They are evil and serve the dark lord."

"Did they do something bad?"

"No. Long ago in the Elder Days, one of the great kings of the Valar was cast from Valinor along with his servant because they had gotten too greedy. Now Ilúvatar had brought into being the race of Elves and the race of Men. My ancestors slept on the shores of Nen Echui. And while they slept Morgoth and his servant Sauron kidnapped many and took them to their dark lair to be slaves. They hurt those elves so badly and told them so many lies that they became evil just like their masters."

"Who is Ilúvatar?" she asked, diligently wiping the blood from his bicep. "Hey, you don’t have an owie, Ada!"

"You must be magic, Moragain!" he said acting surprised but giving me a conspiratorial wink, "There was a cut there a moment ago."

"No fair!" she cried indignantly. "Now I can’t take care of you like Nana does."

Legolas chuckled as she pursed her lips in a pretty pout. "Well, it still hurts a little. Maybe if you wrap it, it will start to feel better," he said handing her a bandage.

She looked at me expectantly as I pinned the needle, I had just threaded, to my bodice. :Like this, Moragain.: I said in her head to get her use to hearing me there as I guided her little hands in wrapping the bandage around Legolas’ upper arm. :It should but snug but not so tight that Ada can not flex the muscle when he needs to.:

:Like this?: she asked, gazing up at me.

I nodded. :Ask Ada if it feels too tight or if it’s too loose.:

A big grin spread across Legolas’ face as he flexed the muscle and nodded. "You will be a fine little healer like Nana and your Uncle Estel, Moragain- nin."

"Ah, Master Legolas. I must speak with you about preparing the keep’s defenses." Théoden called from the door. "You were injured? Forgive me I did not realize."

"Ithilin and Moragain have seen to me, my lord. Be assured that I am in capable hands." He gathered Moragain into his lap again, motioning for the king to sit beside him.

As the only woman in the room besides my daughter, who was happily curled up in Legolas’ embrace, it fell to me to serve them as they spoke. I poured a tankard of ale and set it before the king and another of water that I set before Legolas. I fixed up two plates of cold beef and potatoes for them knowing that Legolas would feed the majority of his serving to Moragain as he always did.

"You could teach my niece a thing or two, my lady, about womanly arts." Théoden said approvingly with a mouth full of food.

"A woman can do anything a man can do, my lord, but there is one thing a man can not do that only a woman can." I said as I picked up Legolas’ tunic from the table and turning the sleeve inside out, began to darn the silvery fabric with tiny stitches.

"And what is that?"

I looked him straight in the eye. "Give birth."

"So she should fight in battles if it is her whim to do so?" he asked.

"Every woman is different, my lord. Each of us has different needs, wants and desires, just as men do. While I wish to be held in equal intelligence to a man I prefer to let men fight the battles. I am content to wait at home and have his bed warmed and his supper waiting when he returns as long as I get the attention I crave. Hers is to be held equal to a man in all respects. She will be a hard one for a man to manage for men do not always see a woman as an equal."

Théoden’s eyebrows scooted up his forehead as he considered what I had said. "Rarely does one see such wisdom in a woman," he said picking up the tankard of ale. "Would you fight if you had to, Lady Ithilin?"

I tied off the thread then took up one of Legolas’ knives and cut it. "If I was all that stood between my daughter and death, yes, no matter the cost to me," I answered, turning the sleeve right side out again and inspecting my work. "Master Legolas and Lord Aragorn have been drilling me on sword play. While I will never be as skilled as they are, I can at least defend myself and my daughter."

:Ithilin,: Legolas smiled at me then glanced down at Moragain who was now sagged against his chest, eyes closed in carefree slumber. One hand had grabbed a hold of a lock of his silky hair while the other was balled in a fist with the thumb hanging slightly out of her mouth.

:I’m jealous.:

He chuckled mentally as he listened to Théoden talk about the keep’s defenses. :So am I, love. I am weary and long for your touch.:

:Soon enough, my prince.:

"The wee one sleeps?" Gimli burred softly as he, too, sat down and noticed Moragain in Legolas’ lap.

"Aye, mellon-nîn." Legolas said, lovingly stroking the braided curls that lay against his skin.

"I have been meaning to ask about them, Master Legolas," the king said with a note of curiosity coloring his words. "Lady Ithilin and the child, are they yours?"

"As much as they can be, my lord," Legolas answered as vaguely as he could.

I set a plate of food and a tankard of ale in front of Gimli then straddled the bench behind Legolas and began working the knots out of his shoulders.

:Ah, thank you, melethril. I have been needing that.:

:I know,: I replied as I let my lips graze the soft skin of his shoulder.

"She seems capable and confident enough for any man." Théoden said offhandedly, taking a drink. "Though would she not be better suited to her own kind."

:Not again.:

:Say nothing.: Legolas said sternly. :These are his customs and his beliefs.:

:I am truly tired of the race card being thrown in my face when it comes to you. And men thinking I am lower in intelligence then they are.:

:Ithilin,: his hand slid up to cover mine as it lay on his shoulder, :Think you that I believe these things?:

:Would I be bound to you if you did?: I gave Théoden a hard stare. "If I were free to choose again-and that’s a pretty big ‘If’, my lord, my choice of mate would not be from he race of Men."

"Ithilin!" Legolas reprimanded, covering my hands with one of his own. :Meleth, watch your tongue. We are . . .:

Blocking him out, I pulled away, incensed. Scooping up the kings mug I left to refill it.

"She has a fiery temper, Master elf, but she should know her place."

I could feel Legolas’ hot stare boring a hole in my back but I refused to turn around.

:Ithilin!: he called sternly.

I ignored him. I knew what I had done. I wanted to smack my head against the stones for such idiocy. I had not only made a fool out of myself but I had embarrassed Legolas as well.

:Ithilin, come here!: this time a little more commanding.

I returned to the table, handing the mug back to the king.

"You are a feisty wench. Bold too. There are men among my guard who would jump at the chance -"

"I am no whore to be passed around at a whim, my lord. I have only one lord and he is not of the race of Men. I belong to no one but Master Legolas!" I spat furiously.

Man, Elf and Dwarf stared at me. Théoden looked dumbfounded at being spoken to in such a manner. Gimli was stifling a snicker and Legolas’ expression was one of approval, not something I was expecting.

I sighed, dropping my fiery gaze to the floor, "Forgive me, my lord. I spoke without thinking. While I have no doubt that you have only my best interest at heart, you are not my father nor are you my guardian. While I reside in your country, you are my liege lord but under no circumstances will I allow you to auction me off to the highest bidder when I am not yours to do so."

:Ithilin.: came Legolas’ mind voice, softer more gentle this time. He reached for my hand and pulled me to him. I didn’t resist. "You forget yourself, meleth." He reprimanded gently.

"I make no apologies for my beliefs, Legolas."

"Nor should you. But as an adult, you know that there is a time and place for everything."

I slapped him hard, my eyes narrowing. "You sound just like my mother!" I hissed and stomped out of the room.


* * *


Once outside in the darkness, I leaned up against the door frame. I was more angry at myself for my behavior then at them. Legolas was right, I should have held my tongue.

"Lady Ithilin?" Éowyn’s soft voice floated through the darkness to my ears.

"Just leave me alone for a while. Please, my lady." I sighed.

"Did you just yell at my uncle?"

I sighed. "Yes. And at Master Legolas. Please just leave me be." I whispered on the verge of tears.

The younger woman continued on without another word, leaving me alone in the starlit darkness. Lost in thought, I walked down the steps that led to the keep’s main hall and out on to the parapet that overlooked the Deeping wall. Gazing up at the stars, I searched for the one constellation that I knew, Orion. Upon finding it I drew some small comfort from the three bright stars shining from the Warrior’s belt. It was something familiar in this strange world.

I heard the heavy door the hall open and close behind me, but I didn’t look back. I heard low voices and soft footsteps as they retreated into the darkness of the now slumbering keep, still I didn’t look back. I hugged myself as I stood there looking out into the dark canyon, trying desperately to come to terms with my stupidity.

"Where’s Moragain?" I asked softly, hearing the near imperceptible shuffle of elven boots upon the stone of the parapet.

"In our bed," came the gentle reply. "Do not worry, Gimli is with her."

"You have every right to be angry with me, Legolas."

"I am not."

"Why? I humiliated you in front of the King of Rohan. And made a spectacle of myself as well."

"It is somewhat my fault that you lost your temper."

"How?" I asked, turning to face him. His tunic and jerkin hung open, lifting away from his slender body in the slight breeze.

"I did not defend you when I should have. Forgive me. And I treated you like some scatterbrained woman who does not know her own mind." He held out his hand as he stepped closer to me. "I love you, Ithilin. You have every right to be angry about some of the things he said. I am. Forgive me, I should have said something. He did pay you some rather high compliments, as well."

"You don’t see a whore when you look at me, do you?" I questioned, taking his hand but holding back hesitantly.

"After what you said tonight, I think you left little doubt as to whom you belong, my love." He reached up and ran his fingers across my cheek, brushing away an errant strand of hair.

"I shouldn’t have done that. Forgive me."

"For what? Making your point?" he laughed softly. "And no, you are no whore, my love."

Biting back more tears, I moved closer to him and slid my hands underneath his tunic. "But I am perilously close to breaking my marriage vows and I don’t want to go home because I am happier here. I’m sorry, Legolas, but in my world that makes me at least an adulteress."

"If this is true, then what Théoden wanted to do was nothing short of setting up a brothel with you as the head courtesan" he said kissing the crown of my head. "I am teasing, Ithilin. These men respect their women to a point, my love. They are no different than Aragorn or I or Gimli."

"Are you saying that you only respect me to a certain point?"

"No. Ellyn and Ellyth are equals in all respects. We have ellyth who are warriors and ellyn who stay home with their children. There is no line drawn as to what someone is capable of accomplishing."

"But these men expect their women to learn how to wield a sword then tell them to stay at home when battle calls. What would there be for me here but a glass ceiling?"

"Do you not have the same in your own time?"

"True. but there are some differences." I whispered, kissing his neck. He lifted his chin giving me free access to the soft skin of his throat. "Why are you doing this, Legolas?"

"Because of what you are to me," he answered.

"Your life mate?"

"And more. You are my life."

I caught his gaze then lifted my chin, exposing the soft skin of my throat.

"No." he said firmly, "You go back to your own time, Ithilin. I will not give your husband cause to abandon you more than he already has."

"Even if I don’t care anymore."

He smiled down at me, "I know you do not mean that, Ithilin."

I rested my head against his chest, sighing heavily. "No, I don’t. I’m sorry for doing that to you."

He chuckled lightly, lifting my chin to trace my lips with his tongue. His hand slid back to cradle my head as he teased my lips with his tongue until they parted enough for him to gain entrance to my mouth. Fire raced along the bond making me shiver in the coolness of the night air. He stepped closer to me in response, warming me with the heat from his body as he deepened the kiss.

Memories of the first kiss my husband gave me swam to the surface along with those of our wedding night and the births of each of our three children. I stiffened in Legolas’ arms, balling my hands against his shoulders and pushing him away.

"No!" I sobbed in regret. "I am not that woman any more. I don’t want that life."

He held me at arms length, gazing into my tear filled eyes. "You are not the same woman that Eru brought here all those weeks ago. You have become something so much more than what you were. You were like a rough hewn bow when you landed among us and now I see a finely crafted weapon that has been taught to sing under capable hands. Can you tell me who you are now?"

"I am Ithilin Palandiriel now. I wasn’t before."

"I know."

"Who do you love?" I asked softly, tearfully.

He smiled and pulled me into his sheltering arms, "You."

* * *


Bright morning sunlight streamed through the open curtains on the windows as I turned over in the bed to hit the alarm that was buzzing in my ear. I blinked, surprised and sat up in the bed. Where was I?

Two tabby cats lazed in the window seat on my side of the bed. One raised its head and gave me a sleepy "well, it’s about time" glare. A crucifix hung above the closet door at the foot of the bed. A ceiling fan whirred above me. I glanced around the room curiously. Things seemed familiar yet strange. There were lights on the bedside tables, no candles. No bed curtains, my clothes were gone and replace by a rough cotton short tunic and breeches that had no lacings but was held on by elastic. A large triple dresser with mirror occupied one whole wall along with a small TV set. There was a chest and a highboy and off in a corner a large mirror over a vanity with a sink.

Getting up, I looked out the open window. I wrinkled my nose at the dirty smell of the air. Nature called urgently so I made my way to where the vanity stood. Off to the side and through a door was the stool, but the figure in the mirror gave me pause. I had never been fat but I wasn’t exactly "stick girl" either. The face that peered back at me looked younger and fairer than I remembered it being. I had visible muscles on my arms and a flat stomach. I was leaner and more toned than I had ever been in my life. My long blonde hair was more like a fall of iridescent moonlight, than the Barbie hair I use to have and as soft as kitten’s fur.

I turned when I heard the door open, terrified.

"Hesper?" called a soft male tenor.

Was that my name? I wondered vaguely as an ample man came around the corner. I let out a yelp of surprise and pressed back against the vanity.

"Hesper, it’s all right. You’re home now," he said soothingly.

Home?! "No," I stammered in elvish, "No this can not be happening!"

"What?"

I sank to the carpet, shaking in disbelief. "No. Eru take me back. Please!" I pleaded, crossing my arms over my head. "Take me back to Legolas!"

"Legolas? The elf from ‘Lord of the Rings’?" he sounded confused, but no more than I was. "Sweetheart, stop speaking nonsense. You’re scaring me."

I looked up at him as he knelt in front of me. "I don’t belong here, " I said with effort in the common tongue.

"What do you mean? Of course you belong here. You are my wife."

"I am not who you think I am, my lord."

His eyebrows jumped into his receding hairline, "My lord? That’s a little formal and archaic for you husband and the 21st century, don’t you think."

He reached out to me but I scrambled away as much as the small space would allow.

"We had almost given up hope of finding you, Hesper. You and Moragain had been driving home from her ballet class. The car was found but both of you were gone."

"Moragain. She is here?" I asked, avoiding his touch again.

"She’s still in the hospital. They let you go last night. They also told me that you are pregnant. Did whoever did this hurt you, force himself on you, threaten Moragain? Please tell me."

I was stunned. Pregnant? How? I had not lain with Legolas. I had kept my honour.

"Did he hurt you?"

I remained silent, the shock of that revelation was still reeling in my head. I couldn’t be. I just couldn’t be.

"Force you to have sex with him?"

I shook my head, still avoiding his touch. He had to be wrong. I couldn’t be with child.

"Did he threaten to hurt Moragain?"

"Never!" I spat in elvish "He would never have harmed a hair on her curly head! Nor would he have hurt me! He is good and kind and giving and loving! You can never know what he gave me. Never!"

"What’s going on in here, Tom." A woman’s voice came from around the corner. "Is Hesper awake finally?"

A tall woman with an ample girth peered around at us. Her graying brown hair curled back away from her face and gimlet-like eyes stared at me through oval wire framed lenses.

"Oh, good. Get dressed and lets go out for breakfast."

I’m not sure that that is such a good idea, Sally," he said turning toward her, "She’s been through an awful lot."

"I am not going anywhere!" I shrieked

"Ithilin!" the panicked voice broke through my terror.

The man, professing to be my husband, reached out and grabbed my arm. I screamed and fought him.

"Ithilin!"

Suddenly, ice cold water soaked me through and I opened my eyes gasping and coughing. Quickly a rough horsehair blanket was wrapped around my shivering shoulders as a candle flared in the darkness.

"Ithilin, meleth-nîn. What’s wrong? You cried out." Gentle warm arms wrapped around my shaking body.

"Aye lass," the dwarf said, dropping a dripping but empty bucket. "You scared us witless."

"Gimli? Legolas? Where’s Moragain?" I asked slightly disoriented.

"Here I am, Nana," came the timid reply from my terrified daughter.

I sagged back into Legolas’ comforting embrace with a sigh of relief. "I woke up in my bed in my world. Moragain was in a house of healing. My mother was there and so was my husband. He kept asking me about a baby." I babbled scooting closer to Legolas’ warmth. "There can’t be a baby, can there? I have not known you."

"Hush now, my love. It was only a dream. You have not left my side nor has Moragain," he said soothingly as he held me close, his hand caressing my wet hair. "Even if we had lain together, Ithilin, we would not know for five to six moons. Elflings take nearly two years to grow. Now, let us get you into some dry clothes and you can go back to sleep."

I looked up at him terrified, "But what if I go and then can’t get back? I don’t want to go. Not yet."

"Shhh. All will be well, melethril. I will not let you leave until you are ready. I promise."


* * *


"Ada!" I heard Moragain call frantically through my fog of sleep a few hours later. "Ada, wake up! Please! Please, don’t be dead!"

Both of us snapped awake and saw Moragain’s frightened face above us in the dim light of the candle that had been left to burn through the night.

"Why would you think that I was dead, little one?’ Legolas asked groggily as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Your eyes were open. And you didn’t move when I shook you."

He chuckled as he pulled her close, settling her between us. "I am sorry if that frightened you, Moragain, but I do not close my eyes to sleep like you do. Only elflings close their eyes in sleep."

"But Nana closes her eyes."

"Yes, because you and she are of the race of Men; humans. You have to close your eyes to sleep, that is how Ilúvatar made you."

"Why?"

Legolas sighed and gave her a look that said he was not amused. "Dawn is not too far off, my little one, and we all need rest. So I suggest you close your little human eyes and go back to sleep."

"Can I be an elfling?"

"Yes, if you go back to sleep, Moragain." The weariness was creeping into his soft voice.

"Am I your elfling, Ada?"

Legolas gave me a look of frustration as I smothered a smile.

"Close your very sleepy eyes, my little elfling," he said laying his hand over her eyes.

:That had to be very disconcerting for her.: I laughed mentally, as she snuggled down in the warm nest we created with our bodies.

:Someone forgot to warn her that elves sleep with their eyes open.: he grumbled back trying to settle back down into sleep.

:Don’t look at me. I don’t notice it anymore, if I ever did.:

He sighed and kissed my forehead. :I take it for granted, Ithilin, that you are not bothered by it. You never have been. In fact, you have always been able to tell whether I am asleep or not.:

:Your eyes are dark and glassy when you’re asleep, melethron.:

:Well, now she knows. I am sure to get more questions about that difference come morning.: he groused sleepily, his eyes quickly glazing in slumber.

I sighed softly as I tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. He shifted slightly, pulling Moragain and I closer to him. Moragain settled against him, her blond curls fanning out over his chest. Her little head rising and falling as he breathed. A slight smile crept over his lips.

:Get over here, melethril:

Laughing softly I kissed him as I curled around my daughter and laid my head just beneath his chin. Within moments I was sound asleep.


* * *


Noon had come and gone with no sign of Aragorn. Legolas’ apprehension grew to a near breaking point and nothing I did seemed to alleviate his tension. Of course he would only sit still for a few minutes at a time then get up and pace the battlements and Deeping Wall for hours.

"Ithilin, you and Moragain need to get into the caves," he said as he paced the great hall, glancing once or twice at Théoden who was deep in conference with his advisors and what remained of his personal guard.

"Will you sit down. You’re making me crazy with all your pacing back and forth." I fussed at him. "He will come."

"We have need his skills." He stopped in front of me, rubbing the muscle in his right shoulder, then straddled the bench. "My shoulders are so tight."

"You worry too much, melethron. And what makes you think that Aragorn is so much better than you at strategy?"

"Would you not worry? After your dream last night I did not sleep well. Now Aragorn is late if he is able to come at all. We are looking at a battle we can not possibly win otherwise."

"You forget that I know the outcome of all of this. Turn around."

"I want to forget that you are human and that you know these things, Ithilin," he sighed turning his back to me and pulled his hair over one shoulder. "But in reality it is the only thing that is keeping me sane right now."

I chuckled as I kissed the nape of his neck, mentally grumbling about his quiver and knives hindering my access to him. The muscles in his shoulders were like a bow string that had been pulled too tight, any more tension and the wood would snap. I felt him relax slightly as I slid my hands up his arms to massage the taught muscles. He sighed and bent his head as I slowly began to work out the knots in his neck, working my way down his back even getting under the quiver harness.

"You have healing in you hands, meleth-nîn." he whispered.

"Have I?"

"Yes they are very much like -" his voice trailed off as his head snapped up, looking toward the doors.

Without another word he rose and left. A few minutes later the doors were pushed open and he and Gimli entered following a scraggly figure.

"Estel!" I cried running up to him. "Valar, you look like someone drug you through a knothole backward a fair few times!"

He cocked an eyebrow at me and made a face. "I am normally able to tend to my own injuries but I seem to have misplaced my pack. You would not happen to know how to bind a wound, would you, my lady?"

"I would be honored, my lord." I said glancing at the gash on his arm and smiling wickedly. "Assuming that I can find a needle large enough to stitch that."

He laughed and pulled me into a bear hug. "You knew, did you not?"

I nodded, only because he was crushing the air out of me making it difficult to say anything much less breathe.

"Um, Aragorn," I croaked.

"Hmmm?"

"Blue is not my best color."

He laughed as he let me go. "You can tend to this while I speak with Théoden."

"Get that shirt off and I will, Estel. That sleeve will need to be mended as well."

He had already shed his overcoat and leather vest. "The sleeve can wait for a better time, tithen thêl," he said as he pulled the tunic over his head and dropped wearily down on the bench. "I do not think it is too bad."

I took up a rag and wetting it nearby basin of cool water, I began to clean the wound. Just then Moragain came rushing in. Legolas, however, stopped her before she made it as far as Aragorn.

"It will need to be stitched, big brother." I whispered in elvish, setting the rag aside.

"Let Moragain come, Legolas. It is well she should learn this art."

Moragain approached us and buried into Estel’s welcoming embrace, "You smell like a wet horse, Uncle Aragorn. What is Nana going to do?"

"Do I, now? I will have to speak to Brego about that, will I not?" he chuckled as Moragain peeked over his shoulder to watch what I was doing, her blue eyes wide as saucers as I threaded a small, sharp needle with one of my own hairs. "Ada does that too," he said nodding at me.

"That’s probably why you have very few scars, Estel."

"I swear you sound just like him sometimes." He planted a kiss on my forehead then turned his attention to the king as I bent over my task. "My lord, an army of Uruk-hai are heading toward Helm’s Deep as we speak. I firmly believe they will be here by nightfall. We must make a stand."

"How many?" Fear colored Théoden’s words.

"Ten thousand strong, at least. Maybe more. Isengard is emptied."

The king swallowed hard and fear lit his light green eyes. "Ten thousand?" he gasped in disbelief.

"If I may, my lord." I said softly, looking up from Aragorn’s wound, "Call for help. Surely, there are allies that will help defend Rohan."

"What does a woman know of battle? Besides the old alliances are dead. And what few there are have their own troubles."

"I may not be a warrior, my lord, but I know enough to know that no man should stand alone when the odds are against him."

Aragorn laid a hand over mine, giving me a slight nod of approval. "Lady Ithilin speaks truth, my lord. You can not fight them alone and expect to be victorious. This army was bred to destroy the world of men, not burn and pillage."

"No, Lord Aragorn, we have seen this before. We can outlast them in here."

"What happens if they breach the Deeping Wall, my lord? What then? Then will you believe that Sauron and Saruman have it in for you? I doubt it." I hissed. "Don’t be so foolish as to believe that just because it has never happened before does not necessarily mean that it won’t."

"Are you calling me a fool, child? I have seen far more battles that you will ever see in your young life." Anger flashed across his eyes.

"I’m calling you a stubborn old goat who will not listen to the wisdom of Elves or Men just because he’s afraid," I shot back. "Well guess what, they are frightened too. Scared to death that some fool king thinks that he can’t be hurt behind a wall of rock. Walls fall, Théoden. And not always the way you want them to."
I sighed in resignation, bowing my head. "My Lord Théoden, I am trying to get you to see that just because they hurt you once and you are still weak that they can and will hurt you again. Only this time, it will not just be Rohan who suffers but all the races of Middle Earth. There has to be someone willing to help. Mirkwood, Lothlórien, Rivendell, Gondor?"

"Elves would not give aid. As for Gondor, they too are besieged."

"Forgive me, my lord, but an elf stands behind you willing to give you any help he can, willing to die for the safety of your people. As does a dwarf. I can not believe that the old alliance would not be honored, for the memory of elves is long and their warriors are the most skilled if Legolas is anything for me to go by."

A smile tugged at mouth Legolas’ at the comment.

I tied off the thread and cut it, then wrapped the sutures with a soft bandage. "You won’t know unless you ask, will you?"

Théoden hauled me to my feet, raising his hand to strike me. I starred him down defiantly. "Go ahead." I challenged.

Angrily, he pushed me toward Legolas, "Tell your lady to learn her place, master elf, and to stay out of the affairs of men."

"Nay, my lord, I will not. Not when she speaks truth," Legolas said as he kept me from falling.

"I know how to defend my own keep and my people and I certainly don’t need a featherbrained woman telling me what I am doing wrong."

With that he turned on his heel and strode out the door, slamming them angrily behind him.

As soon as the doors were shut Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas were hard pressed to stifle their chuckles.

"He needed a good tongue lashing, Ithilin."

"Fat lot of good it did, Estel. He still didn’t listen."

"No, he listened. He just won’t heed your advise," Aragorn said as he shrugged his shirt back on.

"How many lives will be lost because he refuses to listen?"I asked, looking at both Aragorn and Legolas. "You aren’t mad at me?"

"No. Sometimes women are more sensible about things, even war. More often women are colder and more ruthless about war."

"Aye, ‘tis true enough." I shook my head. "How many millennia will pass between your time and mine and still men do not change many of their stubborn ways."

"Probably more than any can count if what we do here has fallen into legend and myth." Legolas laughed, motioning for Moragain to come to him. "Especially if your legends have elves as little old men with big pointy ears and long white beards."

Aragorn raised a curious eyebrow as Legolas picked Moragain up and settled her on his hip.

"Not all our legends, meleth. Just the ones she knows."

"Come let us get you two into the caves." Legolas snaked his free arm around my waist and pulled me close as we walked toward the entrance to the caves.

"Ada, why do we have to go now?" Moragain asked as she played with the fletchings on the arrows in his quiver. "I don’t like caves, they’re dark."

"I do not either, my elfling, but it is a place of safety for you and Nana. I need you to mind Nana and do whatever she asks, do you understand?"

"What’s wrong? Why is everyone so upset and angry?"

"Moragain," Aragorn said, gently patting her curls and dropping a soft kiss on her forehead, "There is an army marching here and little girls like you and women like your mother who do not know how to fight have to be protected."

"But Nana knows how to fight. She has fought you and Ada."

"Angel, I’m not strong enough to fight the creatures who come tonight. Yes, Aragorn and Ada have been teaching me but it is not enough. I do not have the years of training they have had," I answered as we reached the door.

Legolas set her down and opened the heavy oak door. "Be good and mind."

"Yes, Ada."

I remained at his side, watching as Moragain went through and found one of her new friends. If only I could be as carefree.

"You had better get inside." Legolas said softly, as he tenderly brushed a strand of hair from my eyes.

"We may not be here when it’s over, melethron. We may go back to our time, I don’t know how it will work."

"Then I guess this is Namárië." His voice was tight with emotion as his hand strayed to the pendant that hung around my neck. "Know that my heart goes with both of you."

"I wish we had more time, Legolas. One more night together, just you and me." I paused a moment then unhooked the clasp that held the chain around my neck and the moonstone necklace fell into his hand. "I want you to have this. It is believed that moonstone brings good fortune."

He nodded as he hung it around his neck. "I will treasure it until the end of time as I will my memories of you and Moragain. Thank you for all you have given me."

"I will never forget you, my life my heart, my love." I reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes and rubbed them into the skin over my heart.

"Ithilin." Aragorn said softly as he laid his rough hand on my shoulder.

"Aiya, brother, I can not forget you or Gimli," I whispered tightly, letting him pull me into his embrace. "All of you mean so much to me."

"Ada would have loved you, little sister, as much as I do. I think you could have learned much from him." He kissed the crown of my head and held me tightly. "I think he might even have adopted you."

"He must truly be a wondrous elf, Estel, for you to speak so well of him."

"We have had our differences, but he is still my Adar. He gave me so much, Ithilin. I only hope that I can be the man he wants me to be."

"It is in you, Estel. Why else would he have named you ‘hope’?" I kissed his scratchy cheek, "You are the Elessar, the elf stone. It is in you to rule and the wisdom of Elrond will keep you humble and untouched by corruption. That is why the ring had no power over you. You will often be in my thoughts in the years to come. Perhaps you and I will meet again in the Halls of Mandos."

"Perhaps, little one," he said wiping a tear from his eye as he stepped away so that I could say goodbye to Gimli.

"Well, lass, you’ll be getting no tears out of me."

"Aiya, Gimli, you can not tell me that dwarves do not cry." I half laughed, half sobbed. "You have been a good friend to me and I want you to do me a favor if you can."

"If I can?!" he huffed in mock indigence. "Dwarves can do anything, lass. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise."

I smiled sadly as I bent to whisper in his ear. "You must not tell anyone, even Legolas, that I have told you this. Promise?"

He nodded.

"Our bond is strong but I don’t know if it will survive the separation. You can not let him fade, Gimli. You must keep my memory alive for him. You must be ever steadfast, ever by his side. I do not want this loss to touch him."

"I will do all I can, lass," he said, his voice breaking as he gave me a peck on the cheek. Then he, too, followed Aragorn, leaving Legolas and I alone.

"Legolas."

"Come," he said, smiling sadly. "There are no secrets between us anymore, melethril. But I will let Gimli keep his secret."

He folded me into his strong embrace, burying his nose in my hair.

"I know," I whispered against his chest, drinking in his scent.

"There is nothing I can say that you do not already know in your heart, my love. But I will gift you with two things. One is for Moragain and the other is for you. Give this to her when she comes of age or when she weds, I will leave that to your discretion." He took the Lórien leaf from the neck of his cloak and laid it in my hand. "This is to remind Moragain of her ‘Ada’ and my love for her. And this," he said, reaching into a hidden pocket and pulling what looked like choker of gold and green. "this is for you. It is the seal of the Prince of Mirkwood. The symbol of my house. I wear it rarely so it will not be missed. I had planned on wearing it to Aragorn’s coronation, if he makes it that far, but it belongs with you. Wear it often to remind you of my love for you."

He knelt before me, his hands sliding from my shoulders to my hips, and rested his head against me. "My love for you will never fade, Ithilin. I will bear it away with me to the Undying Lands, where it will be ever green."

"Legolas." I said quietly as I ran my fingers through his long silky hair. "Your arrow has taught this bow to sing. You are a proud warrior and you would have made a loving father. No doubt there will be many a broken heart over your choice to remain a celibate bachelor. I only wish I could do the same in honor of our love."

"I understand why you can not, Ithilin, nor could I expect it of you," he said as he rose to his feet. His callused hands cupped my face, teasing my lips with one thumb until they parted expectantly. Bending down he captured my lips with his own, pulling me closer and igniting the bond with a white hot flame. I gasped and shuddered against him, my hands clenching on the leather bands of his quiver harness

:Two are now one.: I heard him whisper in my mind. :Joined in the unceasing dance until the end of time. Stars will flicker and fade before my love for thee ever will. You are burned upon my heart, hervess. Never shall I love another.:

:Hervess? You claim me as your wife?:

:I have since the beginning. Calling you that, long before you could hear my thoughts.:

I pulled away and gazed at him, then smiled. :Yes, hervess, herven-nîn:

A tender but sad smile played on his lips. "You had best go before Moragain comes looking for you. Namárië, meleth-nîn."

"Namárië, my Greenleaf." I kissed him once more then stepped through the doorway into the cavern. As the door banged shut behind me, I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. Wiping it away, I went down toward the underground lake to find Moragain.


* * *


"Lady Ithilin," Came an urgent voice, pulling me out of my half doze. Moragain lay asleep against my breast. "Lady Ithilin, we need your help. The midwives are spread between fifteen other births tonight and there is no one to help Freda. She’s gone into labor and it’s her first."

A noise that sounded like thunder filled the cavern, bringing me fully awake. Moragain and I were still in Middle Earth, much to my relief.

"Stay with Moragain, Lady Éowyn. If she wakes then bring her to me but I don’t want her to wake up alone."
The younger woman nodded as she took my place.

"Take some rest while you can, Éowyn, it’s liable to be a very long night."

I found a very terrified young woman, who looked no older than eighteen, sitting alone and panting against the pain that I knew was coursing through her body. Her swollen belly seemed a stark contrast to her slight frame. Remembering the births of my own three babies, I smiled warmly at her.

"Freda?" I asked softly so as not to startle the poor girl.

She nodded.

"Do you know how long you have been like this and how far apart the pains are?" though that information, at least in my case, meant little, but it was to divert her attention from the pain.

"I do not know." She groaned against another contraction. "All I know is that it hurts."

"I know it does, tithen pen." I chuckled as I knelt beside her. "I have brought three of my own to birth."

She swallowed, "What does ‘tithen pen’ mean?"

"It means ‘Little one’, in elvish."

"You are an elf?"

"By the Valar, I wish I were. But, nay, I am no elf." Gently I brushed sweaty strands of copper-gold hair away from her face.

"Oh!" she cried out as her hands instinctively to her belly. "What was that pop?"

"Your water broke." I chuckled at her surprise as a large dark stain seeped over the skirt of her dress. I laid my hand against her belly. :Come on, little one: I thought at the little life that was straining to be free. :Your Mama wants to see you.: A joyful kick connected with my hand as it lay against Freda’s swollen abdomen.

"Let’s get you up and walking, young one. It will help." I said as I gently pulled her to her feet.

We walked up and down the space from the door to the small alcove she had chosen to nest in for an unknown length of time, stopping every so often to let her rest as she needed. Each time we neared the door, I listened for the sounds of battle, hoping that what I knew was correct. Hoping for victory and the safety of my companions.

"Lady Ithilin," she panted, leaning heavily against me, "I need to push."

I helped her to sit and lifted her skirt above her knees. "You’re almost there Freda. I can see the crown of the baby’s head. Your body knows what to do."

"I’m scared!"

"It’s all right, Freda. Ilúvatar made us to do this."

"Oh!" She grunted glancing nervously at the door as the sounds of battle became closer.

"You are doing fine." I said calmly realizing it had to be near dawn and the keep had been breached. It would all be over soon.

"Nana?" came Moragain’s sleepy voice behind me. "What are you doing?"

I chuckled softly and motioned for her to come closer. "I need you to help me, little one. We’re going to help Freda’s baby come into this world. All right?"

Fear lit her eyes as she glanced at the laboring woman. "How?" came the question.

"Same way you did, Moragain." I laid a bloody hand on her shoulder, smiling reassuringly when she cringed. "Having a baby is messy, my love. Now, I want you to go and find a blanket for the baby, my cloak will do if you can find nothing else."

"Yes, Nana. Is Freda going to be all right?"

I nodded as Freda groaned against another push and the baby’s head began to emerge. "Go on, Moragain. I’ll need that blanket soon."

The low sound of a horn sounded through the caves. Dawn. Victory was at hand and with it a new life for this Middle Earth brought by my hands. I smiled at the young woman who panted against the strain.

"Push Freda. Push and your babe will be in your arms."

She nodded as she curled over her belly in an effort to push the baby out. She gave a shuddering gasp of joy as the child slid free of her body and landed safely in my waiting hands. The tiny girl wailed strongly at being forced into this new cold world.

"Hush, tithen hên. Nana le sí." I murmured softly as I laid the tiny one in my lap as I cut part of the lacing to my sir-coat and used it to tie off the cord. I, then, used Hirilanna to sever the cord that held the child bound to her mother.

"Nana, there were no blankies so I got you cloak like you asked. Oh!" Her little eyes widened in wonder at the sight of the baby. "Can I see?"

"Wrap her tightly, Moragain. I need to finish up with her Nana."

Moragain sat down near Freda’s head with my cloak over her lap and I placed the newborn on the makeshift blanket.

"Freda," I said softly as I put slight tension on the cord and pressed on her belly, knowing that she would not really hear me as he attention was now completely diverted to her newborn daughter, "I need you to push once more then she’s all yours."

The young mother pushed halfheartedly and just as the placenta slid out of her the sound of the cavern door giving way and the bloodthirsty cries of Uruk-hai echoed through the chamber. I wanted to turn and run but the thought of these creatures harming innocent lives made me stand my ground. I drew my sword and felled one of the beasts with one stroke as six foul creatures lumbered through the splintered door. I didn’t stop to think, I couldn’t. Freda, Moragain, and the baby were depending on me to protect them. I heard the clang of metal against metal as I danced the deadly dance Legolas and Aragorn had taught me, only realizing that this time it was for real. I could not afford to be afraid. Fear clouded the mind and caused mistakes. And a mistake here, meant death. When I stopped to catch my breath, five of the Uruks lay dead. Where was the sixth? I spun around.

Suddenly, I was knocked to the ground, my sword flying from my grasp. Stars exploded before my eyes as I landed on the stone floor. I gasped for the air that had been forced from my lungs as my world swam and dimmed before me from the excruciating pain. Then something blocked what dim light there was. The last of the Uruk-hai had me pinned beneath him, forcing my kirtle above my waist. This can’t be happening, my mind screamed. Pain ripped through me as his monstrous manhood penetrated me. I don’t remember screaming or crying out but I must have because he covered my mouth with a massive hand, his fingertips bruising my cheeks. I felt helpless until I saw the dagger on his belt. In one quick movement I grabbed the blade and with each thrust I drove it into his chest with sickeningly wet crunches. Finally, he gave one last weak gurgling thrust and fell on me, dead.

Panting in fear and exhaustion, I pushed the greasy creature off of me, recoiling slightly as his sticky black blood oozed down my arms and dripped onto the bodice of my dress. Slowly, painfully, I got to my feet and retrieved my sword from where it had fallen, shivering in shock, and wiped it clean on the hem of my kirtle then sheathed it in its scabbard.

"Nana?!" whimpered a small frightened voice behind me, cutting through the haze of pain.

I turned slowly and met the terrified eyes of my daughter. She saw me kill a living being. She saw him rape me. She was only seven years old. How did I explain to her what she just witnessed? How did I allay her fears? She had watched Aragorn and Legolas drill me on sword work on our journey from Fangorn and from Edoras, but to her child eyes we were playing and no one got killed.

"All will be well, Moragain," I croaked with as calmness I did not feel. I felt slightly disconnected from this surreal situation. "Come. We need to find Ada."

"Victory!" came the cry through the cave door.

Victory, I thought numbly clasping her to my throbbing ribs. Yes, but at what price? The innocence of my child?