To Finally Belong

To Finally Belong

Chapter 9 – Círa’s Turn

Legolas entered the talan as Haldir left it. They shared a cold look in passing, but Legolas’ attention quickly turned to Círa as he noticed the look on her face.

“Círa?” he asked, going to her. “What is wrong?”

“Oh, nothing,” she said ambiguously, her thoughts still on the mind-blowing kiss she had just received. Why had he done it? Was he trying to tell her that he wanted her? She knew that he wanted her physically, but was this just more of the same or was it something deeper? Stupid complicated elves!

“Sometimes I wish I was still an Orc,” she voiced the thought out loud this time.

“You were never an Orc,” the elf laughed, offering her his arm.

She took his arm and they left the talan to go to dinner at the Great Hall. Legolas spoke of his home and Círa tried to listen but her thoughts kept returning to the kiss. She had been so blindsided by it that the thought of knocking the arrogant elf on his backside again hadn’t even crossed her mind. Now she was torn between wishing she had done just that and wishing that Legolas hadn’t shown up to halt the Marchwarden’s actions. Not that she was ready to jump into bed with her talan-mate, but she was certainly intrigued by the new feelings he had been wringing from her.

They made their way to the Great Hall and as luck would have it, Círa was seated across from Haldir. So much for ignoring him, she thought, risking a glance. Her eyes met his as she slid into her seat and she felt a jolt run through her heart, forcing her to look away to retain her composure.

The meal was enjoyable and Círa managed not to hurt a single elf, but every time her eyes met Haldir’s, which was often, she felt as though she was being scorched. Those deep blue eyes said so much to her; promised her such wonderful things.

At the end of the meal she was nervous about returning to the talan, still unsure how she wanted to proceed with Haldir. When Legolas asked her to go for another walk after they were done eating, she quickly answered in the affirmative. She was grateful for any excuse to stall for time. As they passed by Haldir, she glanced up and saw that he was watching her, a knowing smile on his face. The realization that he was finding amusement in her reactions upset Círa. He knew that his kiss had left her breathless and confused and the thought that he was so sure of himself irritated her. She didn’t like the idea of him having the upper hand in this…whatever this was.

“Do not wait up for me,” she told him sweetly as she walked by. She watched as the smile dropped from his face.

~~~~~~~~~

“Would you like to tell me what that was all about?” Legolas asked, taking her hand as they walked away from the great Mallorn tree.

“I do not know what you mean,” she lied then felt guilty about lying. “No, that is not true. I am just not sure myself what is happening.”

“I sense tension between you and Haldir,” Legolas explained, wondering exactly what type of tension it was.

“Lots of tension,” she sighed and explained what had happened before dinner.

“So, he certainly has some feelings for you, but how do you feel about him?” the elf asked, watching her surreptitiously for her response.

“It is true that he has feelings for me, though I believe that they are all physical,” Círa admitted. “I am not sure how I feel about him.”

That answer had not been completely truthful, either, but she did not want to tell Legolas that Haldir’s kiss had made her knees weak and that his glances could burn her to the core. That was information that she wished to hold inside and consider before doing anything about it.

“I guess that what I need to know is where I stand,” Legolas told her. “If you wish to be with Haldir, I will understand.”

“If you are willing to put up with my confusion on the issue, I would love to continue spending time with you,” she said, squeezing the elf’s hand. She certainly wasn’t about to throw away her friendship or potential relationship with Legolas, just because Haldir gave her one kiss to ‘give her something to think about’. “This is all so new to me, Legolas. My Uruk was so much easier to understand.”

“I know and I am sorry, Círa. Elves are complex beings, which can be good and it can also be bad. For now, I will continue to assume that I have a chance to win your heart and I will try my hardest to do so. Please tell me if things change, though,” he requested.

For the next two hours, they walked through the woods and along a small stream where they stopped to sit for a while. Círa knew that she was intentionally trying to postpone her return to the talan because she was still unprepared for what awaited her there. When they both began to yawn, it was apparent that they needed to return, though Círa still dreaded facing Haldir. When she could stall no longer, they made their way back and at the base of the talan, Legolas moved towards her and kissed her again as he had done the night before. Once more, it paled in comparison to the kiss she’d received earlier in the talan, at the hands of the Marchwarden. Disappointed, Círa had hoped that it would be different this time. Legolas was so handsome and charming and she was truly grateful to have caught his eye. He had been kind to her from the beginning and she wished that she could feel more for him. Maybe it would still happen, she told herself. Perhaps it would just take a little more time.

Saying goodnight, she entered the talan and was glad to see that Haldir was already in his bed asleep. Her heart did a little flip-flop at the sight of him sprawled across his bed, his long hair flowing over his bare back. She wondered briefly if he was wearing anything beneath the light blanket that covered very little of his body. Shaking those thoughts from her head, she quietly cleaned up and crawled into her makeshift bed on the floor, not wanting to wake the elf who was causing so much turmoil in her life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Círa opened her eyes and knew that she was alone in the talan. She could feel that it was late as she jumped out of bed and the elleth wondered what sort of punishment she would face upon her arrival. Dressing quickly, she threw on her clothes and grabbed her weapons, racing to the training fields as she silently cursed Haldir in the Orc tongue. To her ears it sounded worse than saying the same thing in Elvish, making it more effective. It upset her to see that everybody else was already practicing and she knew that it was obvious to all that she had overslept. There was no sign of either Legolas or Rúmil so she went at once to where Orophin was working with his sword.

“Am I in trouble?” she asked the elf.

“I am sure you will soon find out,” Orophin said, looking pointedly over her shoulder.

“Oh, no,” Círa said. “Haldir?”

“On his way as we speak and at the rate of speed he is moving, I would guess that you are in trouble,” he warned.

“Wonderful,” Círa replied. Of course, if he were mad at her he wouldn’t be confusing her by giving her breath-stealing kisses. Perhaps it was good that he was angry and maybe it would be worth her while to try and keep him that way until she decided what she wanted to do.

Grimacing at Orophin, she turned to face the Marchwarden as she heard his footsteps come to a sudden stop behind her.

“Well, I am thrilled that you decided to fit us into your busy schedule today,” he said, sarcastically.

“Why did you not wake me?” she asked.

“It is not my responsibility to ensure that my wardens get enough sleep so that they wake up on time in the morning. If you wish to stay out late, I hope that in the future you will be responsible enough to make it to training on time.”

“Oh, so that is what this is really all about,” she said, understanding. “You are upset because I was up late with Legolas, alone in the woods…kissing and holding hands.”

Orophin realized that his mouth was hanging open and he quickly closed it. “I think Rúmil needs me,” he said, departing hastily to look for his brother.

Haldir stepped closer to the elleth and lowered his voice, “What you do with your spare time is your own business as long as it does not interfere with your training. When it does interfere, it becomes my problem. Is that understood?”

“Yes!” she said, taking a step towards him, not about to let him intimidate her. “As long as you understand that your kiss meant nothing to me…and…and…I will stay out late if I want to with whomever I wish.” She cringed internally, knowing that experience at verbal sparring would be handy right about now. Her words had definitely lacked the edge that she had intended. Perhaps she should just handle this as an Orc would and bite him…then run.

He took one more step towards her, forcing her to look up at him now. She resisted the temptation to step back, standing firm and crossing her arms instead. He leaned even closer and lowered his voice further.

“I think that you are lying, Círa,” he said, smirking. “I think that you enjoyed that kiss very much. In fact, I think that it made your legs weak.”

She rolled her eyes and tried to look as though his accusation was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. “Now why would you think something like that?” she asked, snorting disdainfully.

Leaning even closer and causing her heart to speed up, he whispered the answer into her ear, “Because I had to support you when your legs began to buckle.”

“Oh,” she said, quickly trying to think of a suitable retort but unable to do so. She vaguely recalled feeling his strong arm around her back and her knees had certainly given out. Now she understood how she had remained standing.

“It was simply that I had not expected the kiss and you caught me by surprise. If I had been ready for it, you would have found yourself on the floor again,” she said, lifting her chin, trying to ignore how close he still was. Biting him was still an option.

“Is that right?” he asked, his eyes searching hers. “Hmmm. Maybe I will have to try it again when we are alone, just to see what you will do.”

Her disloyal heart was pounding now, though she tried not to let him see how he affected her.

“Well, fine. You just do that!” she challenged. Great comeback, Círa, she told herself. You trounced him with that witty remark. She turned away from him, angry, but quickly found herself twirled back in his direction. She looked down at the hand that was gripping her arm but managed to refrain from breaking any of the fingers that now held her tightly.

“I told you once, not to turn away from me when I am talking to you,” he said in a dangerously low voice. “You are a warden now and you are on training duty. Is that clear, warden?”

For some reason, before she could hit him with another of her devastatingly witty replies, she happened to look at his mouth and suddenly found herself unable to speak. Remembering how his lips had felt on hers, she soon realized that he had become silent and now her eyes found his. Neither of them said a word as they stood inches away from each other, eyes locked. All arrogance was gone from his face now and what she saw was the naked truth beneath the façade. He wanted her badly and it terrified her.

“I think that you enjoyed that kiss just as much as I did, Marchwarden,” she told him at last, not releasing his eyes. “And I think that you are jealous.”

“Jealous? Me?” he huffed out a breath. “Of that skinny little Mirkwood elf?”

“Of the kind, handsome, brave Mirkwood prince,” she elaborated.

The standoff continued in silence now, neither of them backing down until the Mirkwood prince in question finally approached. Still, their eyes did not part.

“I hate to interrupt, but will Círa be working with me today or doing something else?” the elf asked. “Hello?” Legolas waved a hand between the two elves.

Silence met his words at first until Haldir finally spoke. “I would like to see how she does in hand-to-hand combat after our midday meal, but you may work with her now. She is a bit sluggish this morning, thanks to you, and I would rather…have her…when she is more alert,” Haldir said, before spinning on his heels and walking away.

“Seems that somebody is having a problem with our late night,” Legolas noted. “I suppose that we should keep our walks a little shorter in the future.”

“And give in to His Haughtiness?” Círa asked, regaining her senses. “I will stay out as late as I wish. I just must be sure to wake up on time in the morning.”

“I do not want to cause problems for you, Círa,” Legolas told her gently.

“Do not concern yourself, Legolas,” she replied, still watching Haldir’s retreating form. “I cause enough problems on my own that any you add will not be noticed.”

She turned towards him and lifted her bow. “I am ready to work.”

~~~~~~~~~

Haldir tried to concentrate on his other wardens, moving from one to another and helping to point out the areas where they needed to work on their skills as well as complimenting them on the improvements they had already made. He would not think about her, he told himself, over and over. In fact, he reminded himself of that every time he thought of her, which was often. Not looking at her was even harder and every time he saw Legolas reach his arms around her to change one of her stances, he wanted to go smack the smile off of the other elf’s face. He did not need this obstacle in an already complicated relationship.

~~~~~~~~~

Haldir had a smirk on his face that was not only annoying but caused Círa some trepidation.

“Ready for some hand-to-hand combat?” he asked her.

“With you?” she queried, begging her heart to be still at that thought.

“No, not yet. Maybe later,” his eyes made the words appear much less innocent than they should have sounded. “You will start with Rúmil.”

He pointed to an area that was marked off as a square.

“Since this is training for actual battles, we keep it realistic. This is not a match for points. You will fight as though your life actually depends upon it, but…” he held up a finger to make sure he had her attention, “do not do maim any of my wardens. You can fight as though it were a real battle and still show restraint. All of my other wardens have learned to do this and I assume that you are capable of it, too. Sometimes self-control is actually the hardest part but it is important.”

He looked at her to make sure that she understood what he was saying. He didn’t need her hurting anybody else.

“The goal is to incapacitate your opponent and hold them at sword point. Begin.”

Normally, if her life had depended upon it and she was unarmed, she would have gone for her opponent’s throat with her teeth, but she didn’t think that was what Haldir had in mind. She smiled at Rúmil, wondering how he would react. Of course she wouldn’t actually hurt him, but it would certainly distract him. Circling the elf, she waited for him to make the first move.

Rúmil was not happy about the match and he didn’t like the feral smile that Círa was giving him. He had no qualms about fighting, in general. The female members of the Galadhrim had to be as competent as the males, so even though there might be a difference in size and weight, they knew how to work around it. His problem was that he didn’t know how Círa would fight and he hated to be the first to find out. He had seen how hard she had hit Lord Celeborn. Deciding that there was no time like the present to find out, Rúmil lunged at Círa, planning on tackling her to the ground.

Círa saw Rúmil make his move and simply sidestepped him, watching calmly as his body slammed to the ground at her feet. The elf rolled and got back up. Watching to see what he did next, she waited until he moved towards her again and using her right leg, she swept both of his legs out from under him. She frowned, hoping she hadn’t hurt him as he landed flat on his back. Rúmil closed his eyes momentarily and considered getting up but before he could do so, she had her sword at his neck.

Círa was declared the winner and Orophin was sent in next. Orophin had already figured out that Círa’s trick was to minimize bodily contact, which made sense. If she was used to fighting Orcs and Uruks, their greater size and strength would give them a distinct advantage and she would have had to learn ways to get around it. She would do everything possible to prevent him from taking her to the ground, so he would fight standing up until he got the right opportunity. Once he had her down, the match would be over.

Keeping her attention with his eyes, he swung his leg up in a crescent pattern to kick her in the head, not hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to get her attention. Círa stepped back, stunned that she had not seen the kick coming. Instead of watching his eyes now, she focused her concentration on his midsection, where she could see his arms and legs in the periphery of her vision. When the kick came again she didn’t react at first, pretending that she didn’t see it, but at the last second, she ducked and grabbed his leg in mid-air. Pulling him off balance, she dropped him into the same position on the ground that his brother had just been in, moments before. Unlike Rúmil, Orophin immediately jumped back up, not ready to admit defeat.

Orophin and Haldir both knew that Rúmil was too softhearted and that he had a hard time competing against his friends. Orophin, on the other hand, had no such qualms. He tried the kick for a third time, but when she went to reach for his leg, he quickly pulled it back and grabbed her around the waist instead, dragging her to the ground. He pinned her and though she was strong, he was stronger. Círa pushed up against his hands, but could not budge them. He was straddling her waist, though, which left her legs free and that was his mistake. Pulling both legs straight up, she hooked them around his neck and pulled him down backwards, causing him to let go of her hands. Before he had a chance to do anything, she quickly rolled him over and was now straddling him with his arm pulled behind his back. She reached over and grabbed her sword to place it against his neck.

Haldir rolled his eyes as he watched the elleth pin Orophin. This was getting embarrassing. He had thought that Círa might do well, but had never dreamed that she would beat both of his brothers and so quickly.

Haldir picked his two best fighters now, determined to see Círa beaten, and he had them each take a turn against the elleth. The matches were grueling and though she lost them both, the second one was very close as she pinned her opponent momentarily before he finally flipped her over and drew his sword. Announcing the end of the matches, Haldir sent the wardens away with instructions to continue their individual training. Círa approached him when the others had left, asking him what he wanted her to do.

“You may as well work on your bow with Legolas,” he told her, shortly. “I assume that it is what you would like to do.”

“The bow is where I need the most improvement,” she admitted. Their eyes met and she once again had to ask herself how he could make her feel this way with just a glance. More importantly, why was she allowing it to happen? Keep him angry, she told herself.

“Yes, I would like to work with Legolas today,” she told him. “He is a wonderful teacher.”

Immediately Haldir dropped his voice, saying suggestively, “Work with your prince today then tonight, when we are alone in my talan, I wish to give you some private training in hand-to-hand combat.”

She gulped. Trying to act casual, she asked him, “Do you do private training of this sort with all of your wardens?”

The corner of his lip curled up in a smirk, and his eyes dropped to her mouth, before moving back up slowly to her eyes. “No, just you. I will expect you to come straight back after dinner tonight. I hope you have not planned anything with Legolas or you will have to cancel.”

Furious that he thought he had the right to run her life even when she wasn’t in training, she started to turn away from him but remembered what had happened last time. “Good, you are learning,” he said, quirking an eyebrow before walking away. Fuming, she stormed over to Legolas, knowing that he had been watching them from a distance.

“Oh, he makes me so angry sometimes!” Círa stated, pulling out her bow.

“What did he do this time?” Legolas asked, still wondering if he needed to have a talk with the other elf.

She told him about the “private lesson” she would be receiving that night in the talan and Legolas frowned.

“Maybe I should come and watch, just to make sure it is actually a lesson and he doesn’t have something else in mind.”

Círa didn’t answer right away. If Haldir just wasn’t so sure of himself, it wouldn’t be so bad, but the idea that he thought that she was just drooling for his touch was annoying her beyond belief, even if it was true. If she could control the raging desire that was building in her body, she’d try to turn the tables on him tonight. He had said that this was going to be a training session and that was exactly what it would be. If he tried anything, he was going to be sorry. Determined, she finally answered Legolas and said as much to him.

“I could stop by after an hour or so and we could go for our walk then. Surely your training will not last any longer than that,” he said, touching her cheek.

“Surely not,” she said, smiling. “If it does, maybe your arrival will give him incentive to let me go.”

“Then that will be our plan,” he said, turning to help her with her bow.

~~~~~~~~~

In the talan that evening, Círa stood facing Haldir with her arms crossed and eyes wary. “I do not understand why I need a private lesson,” she said, calling him on it.

He sighed. “Because you need to work on certain techniques that I do not think I can show you in front of everybody without receiving comments.”

She seriously doubted that he was only looking out for her best interests. The way he brought up the private training session to her earlier had suggested much more than fighting maneuvers. On the other hand, he seemed serious about working now so maybe she had been wrong but she did not completely trust the Marchwarden.

“All right, let us get on with it,” she said reluctantly. He smiled at that, but nodded.

“Think about today, Círa, and the two matches that you lost. What did they have in common?” he asked her.

“Both opponents were very good,” she shrugged.

“Besides that; what did they do? How did they beat you?” he prompted her.

“They both got me on the ground, then pinned me. Once I was pinned, I couldn’t get back up,” she said.

“How was it different from when you fought Orophin?” he asked.

“I was able to pull Orophin off by using my legs. I could not do that with either of the other two,” she stated.

“By the way, you kicked Orophin in the mouth when you did that,” he informed her.

“I will have to apologize,” she replied, knowing that it must have hurt.

“So what you need is a way to get a heavier opponent off of you,” he said, back to the subject at hand. “How do you do that?”

“If I knew the answer to that question, I would not have lost the two matches today,” she stated the obvious.

“Think, Círa,” Haldir said, frowning. “I am not going to tell you how, because it will be different for you than it would be for somebody else. You must know what your strong points are. Shall we try it and see if you can come up with something?”

She had been ready for this. He would pin her to the ground and kiss her again, turning her into a quivering mass of flesh. She would not let it happen, though. If he did anything, she would make him sorry he had ever tried.

“I am ready,” she replied, wondering if it were true.

Before she knew what had hit her, she was laying on her back on the floor of the talan, pinned by Haldir. She knew that she should do something, but she couldn’t think straight. Both arms were pinned to the ground above her head and he lay across her body, his legs holding hers down. His face was a matter of inches above hers and all she could think about was how extraordinarily handsome he was. How could she determine a way to get him off of her when she didn’t want to do so? Then came the smile; the one that said that he knew exactly what he was doing to her. Anger flared and she struggled against him to no avail.

“You are just going to wear yourself out that way,” he continued to smile as he held her in place. “Try something different.”

She could not free her legs to use against him, so what did that leave? Maybe she could roll him over, somehow. Concentrating on solving the problem, which was much easier when she was not looking at him, she knew that she needed to get him off balance. She could not budge her arms, so they were worthless. She could not kick up with her legs, but she could probably twist them, as well as the rest of her body. Then she looked up at him again and grew still. She closed her eyes for a moment thinking that if she couldn’t see him, she couldn’t be distracted. When she opened her eyes, the smirk was back and that did it. Shoving hard with all her might on the right side, she was able to throw him off balance, much to his surprise. As she was already in motion, she continued rolling until she was now straddling him. She pinned his arms down and tried to pin his legs as he had done to her.

“Good!” he said, the smirk gone from his face. “Now in a real battle, of course, you would not have wanted to pin me but just to roll away and reach for your weapon. You would not be able to keep me down long, so pinning me would be pointless. Let us try it again, but this time roll away.”

They continued for almost an hour until he finally said, “I think that will be enough for tonight.”

She thought she knew why, having begun to feel the evidence of his arousal. He had done very well until just now, but it was her turn to smirk. He raised an eyebrow.

“What is so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “You can get off of me now.”

“Do you want me to?” he asked, suddenly serious as he ran a thumb beneath her chin. “Training is now officially over and we are on our own time. What do you want, Círa?”

She had to hand it to him; he had not mixed the training with pleasure, as she had thought he would. Of course, he had certainly been sure to leave her in a precarious position at the end of training. What did she want? Right now, she wanted to kiss him and she did so. He seemed surprised when she reached up and touched her lips to his. It surprised Círa too. She couldn’t believe that her lips had betrayed her this way when she had distinctly told them earlier, along with the rest of her body, that nothing was going to happen; that she was going to gain the upper hand. When she lowered her head again they simply stared at each other for a moment before Haldir dropped his mouth to hers and then deepened the kiss. The good thing was that she was flat on the floor and not in danger of her legs giving out this time. The bad thing was that his body was still right on top of hers and the arousal that she had begun to feel was now digging into her stomach. There was no question as to how Haldir felt about their current situation.

With his mouth still covering hers, he began to shift his position slightly, moving her legs apart with his knees and settling between them, his hard length now pressing against a more sensitive part of her body. She could not hold back the moan that escaped her throat and it only fueled his passion even further. Lifting his head up to look at Círa, Haldir brought his mouth down again, this time on her neck, nipping and kissing the soft smooth skin beneath her chin as he continued to press himself against her.

Círa was overwhelmed. This was nothing like it had been with Lurtz. With the Uruk, she had made a decision and followed through. There had been no kissing, no game of seduction leading up to the act and she had never known what she had missed. Laying here on the floor of the talan, she was being bombarded with feelings and thoughts and was having trouble thinking coherently. All she knew for sure was that this felt wonderful and she did not want it to stop.

“I want you, Círa,” Haldir whispered into her ear, before running his tongue up the edge to the pointed tip. She cried out at the sensation, having never felt anything like it before in her life. “Let us go to my bed to finish this. We shall be more comfortable.”

Whoa! Her brain tried to break through and make itself heard. Brain to Círa; you decided that you were not going to do anything like this yet. Her body was busy arguing that it did not care what her brain had decided in a solitary decision. Círa wanted to rut with Haldir and her Orc habits were suddenly taking over, making it simple. The kissing and touching was taking too long. Using the move she had just learned, she flipped the elf over onto his back and straddled him, centering herself upon his now very prominent erection. He groaned as he let his hands slide up her thighs and on to her torso. Holding her waist between his large hands, he shifted her body slightly, placing her right where he wanted her. Moving his hands over her breasts now, he brushed her nipples with his thumbs, making her shudder. Lurtz had touched her, but not like this. They needed their clothes off right now.

Reaching up to lift her tunic over her head, she stopped suddenly when she heard someone approaching the talan. Legolas. She dropped the shirt back down and glanced at Haldir before standing suddenly, saying, “I forgot, Legolas and I are supposed to go for a walk.”

Haldir sat up, unbelieving. “Are you serious, Círa? But…but…we are right in the middle of something here.”

“Yes and I really need to think it over first,” she said, as though suddenly waking up. She got up and walked out the door.

Haldir dropped his head to the floor and flung his arms straight out, staring up at the ceiling of his talan.

~To Be Continued~