A heart's miscommunication

Chapter eight The process of grieving is slow.

Some days later…

Coirëhón smiled at the entering warriors. “Did you bring your entire household?”
Rumil laughed. “No, just the broken utensils. Give us a reason to come here and linger a bit. Though our brother was here only last night. It won’t be long before the realm knows about you two.”
Coirëhón smiled. “I’m sorry to place trouble on you.”
Orophin hugged him tight. “What are you talking about? There’s no trouble at all. Is there?” They all shook no.

Haldir looked around. “Where’s…?”
Coirëhón grinned. “He’s getting some midday meal. He’ll probably run straight back if he sees you here. We weren’t expecting you.” He looked fondly at Haldir, remembering last night’s kiss. After the first accidental one a couple of days ago, the one Elrond saw, it had become normal to kiss Haldir.

Rumil and Orophin looked at each other and smiled. “Well, we’ll be off then. Galadriel asked us to watch after Elladan. Make sure he stays.”
Coirëhón frowned but then settled his eyes on Rumil. “Do you know what happened to him?”
Rumil shrugged. “Not really, not officially. But word from Imladris is that he’s lover walked out on him while he was hunting for food and meeting his twin who returned from Rohan.” He noticed Mistalas’ frown and cocked his head. “Have you heard something different?”
Coirëhón shrugged. “I’ve only heard he was to meet someone else from Rohan as well. His beloved who now walked out on him.”
Rumil narrowed his eyes. “I haven’t heard anything like that yet. But I’ll ask around.”

Haldir smiled when he brothers were gone and settled his eyes on Mistalas. “How are you?”
The other shrugged. “Could be better.” He smiled. “Could be worse though too.”
Haldir smiled and sat down beside the other. “And your work? Improving?”
Coirëhón nodded and started talking warmly about his latest project.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the smith returned he found them engaged in animated conversation and grinned. “I’ve got dinner, or do you prefer to eat each other?” Satisfied he noticed the blush spreading on the others’ cheeks and unwrapped dinner.

When they were finished Haldir pulled Mistalas to his feet and smiled at the other. “Sorry for not helping you clean, but Craban here needs a walk.”
Coirëhón shook his head. “I’m not a dog, Haldir.” He teasingly hit the other. “But I will love one, none the less.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elladan smiled when he finished packing. He felt bad for sneaking out on them but he couldn’t do anything else. He refused to take his twin with him. Elrond and Elrohir would need each other and he was loath to hurt them even more. He silently left the room and just as easily ditched his shadow, a soldier assigned to follow him around, who wasn’t aware he’d left until it was too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had walked for quite a while when Coirëhón stopped and looked around. “What is this place, Haldir? It is beautiful.”
Haldir shrugged. “Just a small vale between the trees. Nothing special.”

He smiled at the other’s happy look, that seemed to arrive more and more whenever he was around. He could not tell about the times he wasn’t, but he hoped they were no exception. “We can come here more if you want.”
Coirëhón nodded. “I would.” He lowered his head and seemed to think for a while. Suddenly he locked his eyes with Haldir and the orbs seemed to pierce his soul. “Is it true what I keep hearing? Are you really in love with me?”
Haldir sighed and knew he could not lie. He nodded. “Aye. But I will not act on it. You’ve been through too much.”
Coirëhón smiled and approached him, still holding his gaze prisoner. “I don’t return your feelings, Haldir, I never can. My heart will always yearn for him.” He paused and smiled sadly. “But I cannot pine after him and I refuse to allow you to pine after me.”

He grinned at Haldir’s bewildered look and laughed at the silliness of his own words. “I think what I am trying to say is that even though I cannot give you my heart, I can give you my body, Haldir, and maybe, in time, my soul.” He shyly cast his eyes downwards and smiled meekly. “If you want.”
Haldir blinked several times, not trusting his hearing. He lifted the other’s face and searched the eyes, finding nothing but truth in them. Knowing the other was willing to do this for him warmed him. “You are sure?”
Coirëhón nodded. “Aye.”
Haldir smiled and nodded. “If this really is what you want, then aye, I accept, but only if you are ready.”
Coirëhón smiled. “Learning to love you will be easy. You greatly care about me, and it is real.” He nodded. “Aye, I am sure and I am ready. I want to forget about him, Haldir. I want to feel your hands touch me instead of his.” His eyes conveyed the real desire and Haldir swallowed, already hardening. “Whenever you desire.”
Coirëhón smiled and started undressing. “Now. Here. And I want to have you in me.” When he was naked he undressed Haldir, kissing him. “My body is yours, Haldir.”

Haldir wanted to pull back, reconsider, thinking the other was acting too swiftly, but his mouth was captured in a consuming kiss, which fired him on. He gasped when he felt himself falling to the ground, realising his lover wanted to ride him, take control. /Maybe Mistalas never was in control before?/
He did not care, he would gladly give it up to his raven lover.

His eyes frantically searched for some herbs or plants they could squish, but he saw none. It took a lot of strength and willpower to break the kiss. “Craban, saes, we have no lubricant.”
Coirëhón shook his head. “I don’t care.”

Before Haldir could speak again his mouth was ravished once more and his eyes widened in pleased horror when his lover positioned himself before rising a little. Involuntarily he gasped when his dark-haired lover lowered himself and took him in completely. It felt better than anything he could have imagined and he moaned in want.

Coirëhón smiled as he felt himself filled. He closed his eyes to savour the feeling, but instantly opened them again when Elladan’s face flashed before him. Haldir’s hand stroked his legs in a comforting and soothing gesture and he meekly smiled. He would let him think it was the lack of lubricant that caused the pain. /There’s no need to pain Haldir as well./

He waited a second and then started building a rhythm, a nice, slow one that would make them last.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elladan’s eyes widened when he heard a loud scream. /Danger? Or is it a pleasure cry?/
He blatantly noticed it wasn’t far from him and decided he should check it out. If it was danger he should help and if it was the other, o well, he would just sneak out as silently as he’d arrived.

Within seconds he’s tracked the sound and his eyes widened when he saw two naked elves in a loving embrace. They soon filled with tears as it reminded him of what he’d lost.

He could not pry his eyes away and just kept staring at the two lovers, his mind remembering all the times Coirëhón and he had made love.

He slid down the base of a tree and curled himself up, letting the tears fall once more. /Élinya, anman lendet? Anman anet nin? Man carnen caritas?/ “Ettulat, saes, ettulat nin.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir sighed as he the other fell on top of him after having spent his seed inside his body. Smiling fondly he pulled him closer and eagerly returned the passionate kiss.

Suddenly he flared up, his eyes scanning the surroundings.
Coirëhón too flared up. “What do you sense?”

Haldir shrugged, but stood up, motioning for the other to remain silent. He grabbed his weapons and silently walked towards the trees before them. There was something there.
He reached out but he could not detect what it was, though it was not evil. But he did not lower his weapons, not willing to risk their lives.
Step by step he approached the trees and stepped into the forest.

Coirëhón just as silently followed Haldir, having his own dagger drawn. He prayedwoulwould not have to use it, for if he had to, Haldir would know he’d lied. And though he felt bad about it, he never would tell him the truth.
He smiled. /Coirëhón firnë mallessë sin. Nán Mistalas sí. Craban./
His eyes scanned the surroundings, trying to detect what had set off Haldir’s senses.

Haldir unexpectedly stopped and gasped, his eyes fixed on the bundle of elf before him. He took a few strides to stand before the crying elf. “Elladan?”

Just as suddenly Coirëhón’s eyes widened and he rushed forward to ward off the danger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elladan groaned when he heard something and though his vision was extremely blurry he clearly saw two boots. /Yrch! And I didn’t even see them./ He reached for his dagger and aimed it at the foot closest to him. Just when he was about to strike it disappeared from his side.

“Auch! What you do that for?” Blinking, Elladan realised the voice was elven. “Mistalas? I told you to stay put.”
“If I had, you’d now had a wound in your foot. Is that the thanks I get?” The second voice sounded familiar, but Elladan sighed when he realised he’d met Mistalas at Haldir’s house.
“You really are lovers.”
The argument stopped as the other two looked at him with blinking eyes.

Elladan grinned and wiped angrily at his tears before even trying to stand. He supported himself at the tree but it was futile and soon was back on a collision course with the ground.

Coirëhón’s heart ached when he saw the struggle and he rushed forward to support him, forcing his feeling away when his body burned where it made contact with Elladan’s. In the back of his mind he realised it was fortunate he’s just been spend. It would prevent his arousal from coming too soon.
Haldir hurried to help him and soon Elaldan was safely wedged between them.

“Elladan, what are you doing out here?” /Alone?/
Elladan groaned, realising he could not leave now that he’s been detected. “Why don’t you two continue what you were doing?”
Haldir smiled at the words but it really widened when he heard his lover’s reply. “And allow you to run away to Elbereth knows where? Nay, my lord, we are going to get dressed and return you to your father. Lord Elrond must be worried sick about you.”
Elladan shrugged. “He will have to worry anyway and unless you can produce my lover, it is not likely to stop me from leaving. Either I sail or I’ll fade.”
Haldir gasped at the angry, yet empty tone. “But who is she then? Tell us so we can find her.”
Elladan slumped in their arms like a boneless bag. “My love’s never coming back. It doesn’t matter.”

Coirëhón widened his eyes and looked at Haldir for confirmation, but the Warden was looking at the twin. “Elladan, tell us what happened. Tell Mistalas. He’s suffering heartbreak too. He came a long way by talking to us. Talk to him.”
Elladan shook his head. “Nay. Élinya iloi ettuluva.”
Neither Haldir nor Elladan noticed their companion’s pale and pained expression at the words and Haldir gave the twin a supportive squish. “You don’t know that. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding? Do you know why your lover left?”
Elladan shook his head. “Nay, and I will never know.” He flung himself at Haldir and cried his heart out.

The warrior noticed Mistalas leaving but he understood this was a bit too emotional for him. He smiled at the departing elf, showing he held no grudge. His eyes were warm and his heart sang when he noticed this seemed to warm the other up a little.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Elrohir, do not worry, we will find him.” But the words, repeated over and over in his mind, were lost as Elrohir searched endlessly for his missing twin, fearing the worst. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him and he gasped when he suddenly found himself knocked to the ground. He cursed and scrambled back to his feet, sending a death glare to the responsible elf.

Only a few feet away did he realise he saw someone who might help and turned just as suddenly as the collision had happened. He grabbed the unsuspecting elf from behind and twirled him round. “Mistalas, have you seen Elladan?” His voice carried his fear and Coirëhón smiled at him and nodded. “Aye, Haldir is with him. Don’t worry, my Lord, your twin will have to kill Haldir if he is to leave.” Elrohir relaxed a little at those words, though his eyes watered at the pain he sensed.

Coirëhón placed a comforting hand on the twin’s shoulder. He’s always liked Elrohir, but he could not draw him into an embrace as he would in the past. “He was crying when I left. I’d rather not disturb them now. I think he’s letting it out, Elrohir.” No matter how hard he tried, he could not keep the affection from his voice and he blessed the Valar for Elrohir’s state, for he was too concerned for his twin to notice.

He nodded and smiled gratefully, though fearfully, at the dark elf. “I hope so.” He growled and released his anger at the base of a tree, which whimpered in protest but didn’t object, sensing the elf’s need for release. “If I ever get my hands on that… that… that…”
Despite the situation Coirëhón grinned. He’s never known Elrohir to be at a loss for words.

He placed his arm on the other’s shoulder. “Come, Haldir is bound to bring your twin to Tano’s. Why don’t we wait for them there?”
Elrohir frowned at the strange name. “Tano?”
“Aye, the smith at the bahzaar. He sort of adopted me. Come on.”
Elrohir grinned. “Adopted you? What do you mean?” He didn’t really care, but if he could concentrate on the other his mind might calm down a bit.

While they walked he listened to Mistalas as he told him about his life here, and the misery that caused it.
He smiled. “But, if you’ll forgive my boldness, it is hard to believe father would have allowed such behaviour.” He frowned at the expression in the other’s eyes at his words.
“I am certain your father was, maybe still is, unawares.” /He did not know about us. Elladan never wanted to go public./
Elrohir sighed and shrugged. “Perhaps.” /There’s something he’s not telling. And in any case father should know about this. I don’t even recall his name. I wish I could ask more questions but I cannot disrespect his wish not to talk about his past, which I can fully understand. And it must be true, I can sense his pain./

He laughed when they finally arrived at their destiny and a warm elf opened the door for them. “I saw you coming. Tea is about ready if you want some, Mistalas, and who’s your friend?” He cocked his head and grinned. “There’s worry in your eyes, not pain, so I take it you are Elladan’s twin Elrohir. Welcome to my humble home.”

Elrohir smiled and looked around, his eyes widening when he saw all the objects the room contained. He knew from experience this was only a fraction of what was really present and that was only a small amount of everything made, an amount that got smaller and smaller as time went by.

His look was one of awe as he saw a pair of daggers. “Wow, those are exquisite. You are gifted, my friend.” He frowned at the other’s proud, yet stubborn expression. He found it an odd mixture.
The smith grinned. “I know, but I am not their maker. The one on the left is made by I-Turtano himself and the second is a copy made by Mistalas. And now he has someone else saying he is gifted.” He looked at Mistalas with an expression more stubborn than before.
Elrohir nodded. “He’s right, Mistalas, it is really good. I wish we had smiths your talent working in Imladris.” He looked sorry when a look of pain came over the other.
The smith saw it too and immediately started chatting to take his mind elsewhere. He stood and walked as he talked away. Elrohir wondered when he breathed for he didn’t seem to stop for that.

For a moment he disappeared from sight and Elrohir looked apologetically at the other who shrugged it away. “Now you see why I said he sort of adopted me.”

He frowned at the brooding expression that entered Elrohir’s eyes.
Elrohir blushed when he noticed the other was watching him and shrugged. “I was thinking that maybe if you and your father could show Elladan how you do this… It might take his mind of his pain.”
His first thought was to decline and he opened his mouth to say the words but the smith’s return prevented them from leaving.

“Mistalas, come, I finally found a picture I’ve been wanting to show you for a while now. Come, young ones, come.”
They both obediently stood and walked over bending their heads to study the picture. It was one of a male elf, beautifully made, almost lifelike.
Coirehón gasped. “How did you get that?” He looked at the other hopeful before his eyes turned back to the picture with warmth. “Don’t you dare sell it to anyone but me. It’s my uncle.”
Elrohir’s eyes widened and blinked a couple of times before he cocked his head and studied the other intensely. “No wonder you are skilled. If you’re his nephew.”
Coirëhón looked like the twin had grown a second head and the smith burst out laughing. “Told you the first day your uncle is I-Turtano, and now I have found proof. Read the subscription.”
Coirëhón did so and shook his head. “Well, he certainly wasn’t a smith when I knew him.”

He shook his head again and narrowed his eyes as he looked at his sgategate father. “You waited for another to be here to show me. You’re horrible.”
The smith shook his head. “Only where you are concerned. Now, how about something to celebrate?” He already walked away to fetch the necessary.
Elrohir grinned but shook his head, having decided he could not wait to speak to his father. “Nay, not for me. You two celebrate. I would only dampen the mood. I need to speak to father anyway. And do me a favour?” He smiled at Mistalas who looked at him in wonder. “When you see Elladan ask him if he would like to see how you make all this. He once expressed a desire to know.” He grinned when the eyebrows went up in disbelief and he nodded. “He did. He’s always talked about giving his lover a ring or something to show they were together, but he refused to give anything he hadn’t made himself. Well, bye for now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Translations:
Élinya, anman lendet? Anman anet nin? Man carnen caritas? Means: why did you go? Why did you leave me? What did I do?
Ettulat, saes, ettulat nin. Means: Come back, please, come back to me.
Coirëhón firnë mallessë sin. Nán Mistalas sí. Means: Coirëhón died on the way here. I’m Mistalas now.
Élinya iloi ettuluva. Means : My star will never return.

TBC