Cherish

“You never told me you fucked Karl in New Zealand.”

Not turning from the canvas to face his lover Viggo cast a glace from the corner of his eye, but couldn’t see the man. “So that tells me where you went early this morning. Nice to know you could leave me in bed and go to another man.”

“I went to apologize to him for not showing up or calling.” David leaned negligently against the doorframe, his face set in determination. “Who else did you have while we were filming, Viggo?”

“Ian, Craig, Orlando, Bernard, and Billy.”

The calm reply was more of a shock than the list of names. “Bloody hell, is that all? Or is that only in the main cast?”

Viggo put the brush in a solution to clean it, and wiped his hands on a rag, turning to face the other man. “That’s only in the men. I remember a wonderful fling with Miranda, and one with Liv.”

He needed to sit down. “Were you filming a trilogy, or setting up a bloody harem?”

“A little of both, I guess.” Viggo neared, cocked his head to one side to eye his lover curiously. “They were all before you, David. I haven’t said anything about who you were with before me.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t been as busy as you, now have I?” The shot was automatic. “And here I thought you were just a dedicated actor. Seems you were also dedicated in other aspects too.”

“I’m wyou you now,” Viggo calmly stated, reaching out to place a hand against the other man’s cheek.

Strawberry-blond brows met in a frown over blue eyes. “That almost sounds like a commitment.”

Moving back to his canvas Viggo took up another brush. “David…”

“Last night you let me be in control. All night you let me be the aggressive one. That’s not like you.” David shook his head, still unable to believe that he meant nothing to the artist/actoWhy?Why?”

“Hell, you know I was drunk,” the older man dismissed the implication of more. “I don’t think I could have stopped you even if I’d wanted to.”

Shaking his head David went up to him. “No, I don’t believe that. I think you’ve been spouting all that drabble about commitment and love to protect yourself. You don’t have to. I love you. I have for a long time now. You know when you touch me I can’t resist you. When you thought Karl was going to take me from you it scared you.”

Viggo didn’t say anything, shaking his head.

David wasn’t done. “You love me.”

Now he spoke. “Is that what you want to hear from me? Okay, I love you.”

Pausing the Aussie swallowed hard. “Do you mean it? Or are you just saying what I want to hear?”

Viggo caught the man’s face in both of his hands. His eyes were sad, and he kissed the redhead softly several times before stepping away. “I’m sorry, David. I can say it if you really want me to, but the words are empty. I like you, I care for you, and I lust you, but I don’t love you. When my marriage ended I stopped needing love, and the only person I truly love is my son. I told you long ago not to love me, and not to look for love from me.”

His heart was broken. “I can’t ever change your heart?”

“I’m sorry,” Viggo shook his head.

Nodding he forced a small laugh, wiping at his damp cheeks. “Well, that’s it then, isn’t it? You can’t ever love me, and I can’t ever live without it.”

“You’re going to to Karl.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. David laughed now, an abrupt sound that was devoid of all joy. “No, see, I hurt him. He loved me, and I came back to you so now he won’t even look at me.”

Viggo’s frowned, reaching to comfort the man, but David moved away with a wave of his arm to warn him off. “If he loves you he’ll forgive you.”

“You think?”

It wasn’t hope making him ask, it was more disbelief, and Viggo felt guilty for not seeing what had truly been in the other man’s heart all these months. He’d felt comfortable with David, with their relationship, but he’d never paid attention to the fact the man had needed more from him. He’d had a chance at it with Karl, but Viggo had destroyed that chance. “Talk to him, David. Hell, you were willing to give me more chances than I deserve so he should be willing to give you one.”

Blinking as the words sank in David considered them to make sense. He still wasn’t sure the Kiwi would let him near to even try to talk to him though. That final slamming of the door, and the look on his face, had rocked David to the very core of his being. He’d never considered that Karl would love him. He’d been so desperate to have Viggo love him that he’d been blind to the one man who had truly cared.

“What the hell are you waiting for? Go to him,” Viggo gave him a small push towards the door. “You’re not gonna win him over standing here.”

David gave Viggo one last kiss, and hurried out. Viggo stood a moment, smiling, and then his shoulders slumped. He did feel bad he couldn’t give David what he so badly wanted, but he would miss him. “Good luck,” he whispered.

David knocked and knocked on the hotel room door. “Karl? Open up, Karl.”

“Sir?” A hotel employee neared. “Mr. Urban checked out an hour ago.”

David’s whole body grew cold. “What? Did he say where he was going?”

“No, sir. Perhaps he’s gone to work.”

Nodding David hurried out, and hailed a cab. At the filming site he argued and threatened the security guard. An actress neared, one David had once worked with. “David Wenham! It’s been ages. How are you?”

He caught her arm in a desperate hold. “Karl Urban. Is he here?”

“Karl? No, he was done filming yesterday. I think he was headed back to New Zealand today… David!” But the man was off running down the street to find a cab.

The whole ride to the airport he tapped his foot and drummed his fingers on his leg. “Come on,” he muttered to the slow traffic. “Come on!” His urgency did not extend to everyone else. They persisted in taking their time, and aggravating him.

Finally they pulled up to the airport. David tossed a fifty at the driver and leapt out before the vehicle came to a complete stop. Running inside he found the display of arrivals and departures. With dread he saw that he had exactly five minutes to get across the length of the airport to the gate where the flight to New Zealand was departing.

“Excuse me! Forgive me! Watch out!” he called to those in front of him as he sprinted around them. “Lord, if you have any mercy you’ll ground that fucking flight,” he breathlessly prayed. But when he got to the gate he saw the plane rising into the air, and he fell against the large window in disbelief. “No!” he shouted, banging a palm onto the glass. “Bloody fucking hell!”

Sliding down he fell sitting to the floor, drawing his knees up to his chest and laying his forehead on them. For a few seconds he rested, catching his breath. He was too late. Karl was gone, and he’d never forgive him for being too stupid to see what a good thing was right in front of him. Unless he caught the very next flight to New Zealand! Pushing to his feet he now ran the other way, again apologizing to people as he swerved and dodged them.