Beautiful Nightmare

I followed quickly after Haldir as he took me by the hand and we left the curious sight of the on looking elves and elf women who had seen the tender, fleeting moment of our kiss. He had left me guessing for such a long moment after that I wondered if he was going to do anything at all, until he quickly took hold of my hand and with a quiet command told me to come with him, and he led me down the path we had already been on, through the trees of the city. I was so shocked by what I had done, and how he had seemingly accepted my blatant declaration of feelings for him, that I almost didn’t realize that we had left the elven city at all.

It was not until we were once more in the meadow covered with the little white flowers and I felt the warmth of the sun kiss my skin that I realized Haldir was taking me somewhere and the way he walked suggested that he was either royally pissed off, or on an urgent mission. I was less convinced by the latter explanation for the way his shoulders were stiff and rigid, and why he did not look back at me while he led me forth. I did not know what he was going to do and in my confusion, embarrassment and fear, I began to cry silently so that Haldir would not hear me. I thought I saw his head begin to turn to look at me, but he didn’t. I tried to keep myself from sobbing or sniffling, and kept my breathing even as we walked and he led me over the grass as smoothly as he had led me to Caras Galadhon.

We did not walk back the way we had come, but went another way that led into the silver trees once more and into their misty depths. I could not hear anything but the sound of my heavy footsteps as I seemed to trudge along behind Haldir who made no sound at all and moved like the wind through leaves that should be upon the ground. I heard myself swallow hard and it hurt my throat so I coughed.

Then, Haldir stopped.

He was still and I held onto his hand, waiting. All I could do was wait and try to stop myself from crying. His back turned toward me was so rigid and cold that it pained me to look at him and made new tears spill onto my cheeks. I couldn’t help it—before I knew it I had sniffled and whimpered a little as I tried to fight back a heavy, painful sob.

He turned to face me at last.

Haldir’s face was a myriad of emotion, completely new than what he had shown me thus far, for within his silver eyes was torment and longing—two feelings which I was greatly familiar with and recognized. He was fighting something as hard as I was fighting my embarrassment and rent nerves, but I could not find out what that something was by looking at him. It was as if he did not want me to know, or he was trying to forget what he was fighting, for his expression changed with each pass my wet eyes made over his beautiful face.

I needed him. I was not going to hide that now, because of the torment his kiss was causing me—because of the longing I felt to have more of him. Hell, I had outdone myself already, so why try to hide anything afterward?

I needed him.

He looked at me with storm rent silver eyes that tore my heart to bits in my chest, but, at the same time, made it beat so fast with life.

I thought my heart would explode when he took hold of my waist and crushed me against his body, wrapping his fingers in my hair and bent down to kiss me. I sighed when his lips touched mine, and in that instant every fear or uncertainty I had had left me and a sudden warmth overcame me that enveloped me like a blanket in the winter. My breath hitched as his lips moved against mine sensuously, kissing the corner of my mouth and my upper lip as I reached up to him and he bent low to me. Haldir was so much larger than I was, taller by far and wide with muscle and build so that when he bent over me I was nearly surrounded by him, and I felt comfortable and happy and warm, like I had never felt in the arms of another person. The blanket of warmth that shrouded me intensified, emanating from his mouth, washing over me in billowing waves that made me feel unlike anything had ever made me feel.
“Anta lle anto an… amin.” The lust in his voice made the heat within me grow.
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“Give your mouth to…me.” Haldir could not control his voice as he kissed the corner of her mouth and spoke, then moved onto her lips fully once more, massaging them with his own and begging her to open her mouth so that he could claim it fully. Such a fire burned within him that his mind was singled upon her and her alone, and their surroundings mattered little—they were away from anyone who might chance to pass them by. He did not question how swiftly he had grown to yearn for her, and he did not succumb to the part of his mind that was telling him he was wrong… or that she was wrong… or that something was going to come between them. How he wanted her… he could not express enough.

Her mouth gave way to his prying and a shuddering gasp pulled their kiss apart.
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I had to stop. The weird heat building up inside of me was so great that I could not breathe and the pressure of his lips, the smell of him, the strength of his arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer and closer to him until I could not be held any tighter was suffocating.

With a gasping intake of breath that seared my burning throat I opened my eyes to look at Haldir. His lips were parted slightly, his intoxicating eyes hooded with a powerful lust that frightened me. But I needed him, and I hoped that I showed him my need. “Anta lle anto amin… Sarah.” I didn’t know what he was saying, but I heard the way his voice lowered and settled deeper in his throat, and I heard my name uttered in that tone. He bent his head toward me again. I understood what he meant. I wanted him so badly! I could not think of anything that had ever affected me in such a way as simply feeling his mouth against mine. Having never been kissed before, that feeling was a first, and a good one. Of course, he could probably tell that I was not experienced by the way I was hesitant to open my mouth into his kiss, and unsure of how to kiss him after I had given him full access. He chuckled lightly.

His lips moved from mine to my jaw, sending chills through my entire body.
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She trembled.

Haldir ran his hands through her hair to comfort her as he kissed the sensitive skin at the column of her graceful, white neck. She was far shorter than he was, however, and he was bent uncomfortably low, so he lifted her up into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist—he never removed his lips from her skin, and her warm breath cascading over his neck as he kissed her enraged the fire that was scorching within him. Damn anything that he feared might happen if only he could take her and have her for his own! She moaned into his mouth—a delicate exclamation of passion—and he felt himself harden beneath the confines of his leggings.

She was from a different world altogether, brought to Arda and shielded by something so powerful that not even Galadriel could see through the black veil shrouding her mind. The last thing Haldir should have been doing was giving way to the passion that her mystery and otherworld beauty caused him to feel so heatedly. He could do naught else! His heart swelled in his bosom as she nestled her face in the crook of his neck and sighed sweetly for him while he kissed her neck and shoulder tenderly.

“Haldir…” He heard her soft voice whisper his name, but he smiled faintly and bid her look upon him.

“Shhh…” He sighed.

Her eyes delved into his until they reached the wall that had since been building around his beating heart. The wall broke into pieces.

Haldir told her what he wanted, though he said nothing.

A faint, fearful shadow crossed her lovely face, but soon her eyes glistened and the fairest smile to have ever graced the lips of any woman brightened her worried face.