When I Needed You *

Chapter Eight: The Calm Before

Where were you
When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
~Erasure~

It was after lunch before Gandalf managed to track Renee down. He led her to Lord Elrond’s office where Aragorn and Elrond himself were already deep in discussion. When they arrived the two broke apart guiltily. Renee supposed they had been discussing her with their reactions.

"Well, no need to ask what you were talking about!” though she spoke quietly her voiced carried to the furthest corners of the room.

”No indeed, Lady Renee. You have been the subject of many a debate in the last few days,” Gandalf chuckled.

“Why is that?” she asked as she sat next to Aragorn.

“The hobbits have many things to say about you,” Gandalf hesitated, “as well as the stunt you pulled at the council yesterday.”

Renee refused to look up. Her fears were confirmed, they had known and now she was going to be in trouble. She groaned to herself, ‘why couldn’t I have just minded my own business, at least they don’t know about the vision I had of Legolas. I don’t think I would feel this bad if they had actually caught me having sex’. She dropped her head back on to the chair.

“As well as exhibiting a control heretofore unknown to yourself, you also could have brought the entire proceedings to a halt,” Elrond’s reproachful tone made Renee blush. Once Elrond saw that Renee understood her actions his tone relented a bit.

“However, since we know that you meant no harm, I will only say this. As my daughter and Aragorn’s sister, what you do, or do not do, reflects on us.” Renee’s eyes flew open when Elrond said she was his daughter, she almost controlled the flinch, but Elrond saw it and narrowed his eyes. She quickly relaxed again and closed her eyes.

He continued but turned his eyes to Aragorn and back again, “Having said that, my decision is this. While you are not being punished you will however work every day with Gandalf until you have control over your gift. You will also work with several other people until you can speak fluent Sindarin. Aragorn assures me that you can handle a sword, but I think you would benefit from practice with the bow and possibly daggers. I expect you to be so busy in the next few months that you will not have time to pry into the thoughts of others. Do I make myself clear?”

Renee swallowed at his tone and labored to control her breathing. She was in Rivendell and he was not her father. Despite her reassurance, long-standing habits die-hard.

”Yes sir,” she replied, proud of herself for not stuttering, but had heard the quiver in her own voice and mentally cursed herself. First she cursed her father, then Aragorn for bringing her here, then she cursed Elrond for making her feel like this again. ‘Damn it! I had such a good night last night,’ she thought. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway, he just gave me everything I want. I’ll just be quiet from now on and hope they will forget all about me. I’ll learn everything I can, and , I’ll make Aragorn proud of me. And while I am doing it I will earn my place on the Fellowship. Shit, what did he say?’

Aragorn’s voice pulled at her. “has already said he would give her lessons.” Huh? What? Oh, Legolas! Yeah Legolas teaching her the bow, that would be nice. She lost herself in thought and didn’t notice when her eyes opened in elvish sleep.

The three males exchanged glances when the blush crept up Renee’s cheeks and then her eyes opened slightly glazed over. Elrond sat down in a huff.

“I believe that is the first time anyone has ever gone to sleep while I was lecturing them. None of my other children would have dared.”

“I believe she has a soft spot for a certain Mirkwood Prince. If that blush and smile is anything to go by,” Gandalf chuckled.

“Aye, they stayed all night out on the practice fields. And I believe a certain Prince returns the feeling,” Aragorn smirked.

“If we were not on the brink of war I would say it is a good match. However as we all know in times such as these…..” Elrond stopped He left the rest unspoken, it was bad enough that Legolas had volunteered himself to help with the protection of the ring-bearer. He would not encourage a match between Renee and the Prince at this time.

Gandalf leaned forward on his staff, “Legolas has volunteered? Has anyone else spoke up?”

“Boromir of Gondor, Gimli son of Gloin, you Mithrandir, and Aragorn, have all spoke up for this quest. I believe it will take a couple of months to prepare everything for such a trip. That will give us plenty of time to find two more walkers to balance out the black riders.”

“Renee will be going with us,” Gandalf announced unceremoniously. Elrond rolled his eyes.

“Gandalf be reasonable. A female has no place going into Mordor. Which is where you all will be going. No, I will not allow it,” Elrond said, thinking that would be the final word. He of course underestimated the power of the female in question. Renee awoke from her daydreaming at the sound of her name.

“I am going with Aragorn. I have said it before, I will help him meet his destiny. Where he goes, I also go.” her voice was quiet but forceful. “You forget Lord Elrond, I know exactly what this quest will bring. Would you like me to tell you? Tell you who will fall and when? Would you like to know why I would not prevent his death, why I will not save the fallen? I know of your foresight. Now know of mine,” Renee stood and paced around behind her chair putting space and objects in between them.

“One will fall, but fly away. One will fall and regain honor. Two will be taken from us and two more shall leave on their own. And through it all the company will remain true. True to each other, true to Middle-earth. We will face orcs, trolls, ghosts and our own demons, but in the end we will prevail. Because we have something the enemy does not.”

“And what is that my dear?” Gandalf questioned with a smile.

“Love.”

“Love!” Elrond scoffed. “A useless emotion that can and will be turned against any one who lets it rule their lives.”

“In my world, the Prince of my God says that it is the most important thing in life. I believe this. We, each of us on this quest are going for different reasons. But in the end what will win this war, what will give the Ring-bearer strength at the end of all things, will be love. It is the one emotion that the enemy will over look because he can never understand it. For Frodo and Sam that is all they will have left. Love for each other and their love for the Shire. And that Lord Elrond, that useless emotion will save Middle-earth.”

She paused for breath “You elves always talk about not giving up hope. Why? What hope is there for anything better without love?” Renee realized she had spoken out again. She started backing to the door, fearing what Elrond would now say. Aragorn saw the look of panic enter her eyes and stood.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean……” she chewed her lip, “I’m sorry, but I am going with the Fellowship,” Reaching the door she wrenched it open. By the time Aragorn got to the doorway she had fled down the hall.

“Damn it!” he said. He hit the doorframe with his fist as he turned back to Elrond. Not angry but frustrated, he hoped she would learn to trust Lord Elrond eventually.

“Hidden depths in that one! Hidden depths indeed!” chuckling to himself, Gandalf sat back in his chair smiling softly.

“I believe I have just been dressed down by a child,” Elrond sounded appalled, but his eyes were smiling. He was rather proud of his newest daughter. It had taken an immense amount of courage to stand up to him especially when he knew he terrified her.

*

Renee raced down the hall back to her room, berating herself the entire time. “Well there goes my plan to not draw attention to myself,” she scowled Before she reached her room she changed her mind and headed outside. She wandered around in the gardens before finding herself back at the practice fields. This time however Legolas was nowhere to be found. In fact there were no elves there at all only dwarves.

The stout little men were a sight to behold and Renee was fascinated. You would not have expected such grace and beauty from the gnarled up creatures, but as Gloin swung his great battle axe in a tight little one handed arc his entire body became fluid. Gimli blocked the attack with one of the two smaller axes used for closer combat.

”Brundushathur, your head is full of clouds if you think you can beat your old man!” Gloin yelled.

”Ha! You’ll not be getting the best of me this time!” cried Gimli as he launched his own attack.

Renee watched, amazed at the skill these dwarves had with the axe. She had never cared very much for fighting with them though she knew the basics. Hack and slash one of her father’s instructors had called it, and when he did it that was exactly what it looked like. However these small men were quickly changing her opinion. One old dwarf with long white hair saw her and came over to speak.

”Hilya, young one! And what be a fine milady like you doing out on the practice field?”

”Oh I’m just, um, hiding from my brother actually!” Renee blushed but felt it was better to tell this old dwarf the truth.

”Ah, how refreshing! An honest elf!” the dwarf said.

”Yes, how refreshing, a dwarf with a sense of humor, my lord!” Renee smiled cheekily.

Several of the dwarves listening to their conversation laughed and drew nearer. Though quite a few scowled and pulled further away, much to Renee’s dismay.

”Oh my lady, you must call me Froir. For I feel that for us the feud between our kin can be put aside,” he chuckled.

”Then you must call me Renee, Master Froir, and we will be friends,” Renee agreed. “If you can convince Master Gimli to teach me to wield an axe, I will strive to convince my brother to call you friend as well.”

”Ah, but you are hiding from your brother, something tells me your convincing might take a while,” Froir pointed out.

”Yes, and it will probably take me a while to properly learn the axe!” She laughed.

”Well said young one!” this came from Gloin who had also overheard them speaking, “but why learn from Gimli, he is young and does not hold to the old ways. His axe is small, not nearly stout enough to hew rock and stone! I have much more experience.”

”But where I go I only need to separate flesh from bone. And the grace yon Master Gimli has shown with his two axes I might have the chance to emulate, but never will I be able to reflect the strength of one so mighty as yourself,” Renee found herself rather enjoying the old fashioned vernacular.

”Oh, I like this elf I must say!” Gimli said as he walked up. “And indeed I will teach you to wield an axe, if your brother gives permission,” Gimli nodded back up the way Renee had come at a figure almost no one else had seen heading in their direction.

Renee swung around not having heard him approach. She grinned wildly for a moment before remembering her outburst in Lord Elronds office. Her smile fled but the hopeful look did not, she so hoped to learn all she could before setting out on their journey. She did not want to be a burden to the group and knew that if she did not show the men her worth they would consider her just that.

”Indeed I do!” Aragorn said as he walked up, he had heard the end part of their conversation.

”Really? You wouldn’t mind?”

”Of course not, You heard Lord Elrond, he wants to keep you busy and he wants you to learn to defend yourself with more than just your sword,” Aragorn nodded and grinned at the hopeful expression. “He also granted your request. When I leave you will be with me,” he finished cryptically aware of the others listening, he wanted to talk to her in private before the other members of the fellowship were made aware of her inclusion.

”For now I believe you are under orders to receive lessons with the bow!” he smiled at her sudden blush.

*

Renee made her way back down to the practice fields waving at a few people on the way. It was hard for her to believe she had been here for a month already. In some ways it was getting more difficult to remember her old life, in others so very, very easy. Her nightmares had become worse, but she no longer flinched whenever someone tried to touch her. She knew her reactions had been both because of her father and her visions, which she now controlled almost completely. She still refused to go near the shards of Narsil which would be re-forged and renamed soon or touch Frodo but almost everything else she was comfortable with.

Gandalf had been particularly hard on her that morning trying to break her mental defenses but she had guarded her thoughts well enough. Now she had a killer of a headache, luckily she was going to her favorite lesson of all. She smiled as she heard the familiar twang of an arrow being shot. She stopped as she rounded the corner and just stared for a bit.

Legolas was not alone, there were several strange elves on the field as well. She watched as Legolas emptied his quiver before the elf standing next to him had shot three. The males laughed and patted the loser on the back.

”Better practice some more mellon nin, Legolas has had a few centuries more experience than you,” said one of the dark haired elves to the loser.

”Yes, Figwit. The spiders of Mirkwood move very quickly, and I have been hunting them for a very long time!” Legolas laughed with the rest of them.

Renee looked at Figwit, he was blushing but took the teasing in his stride. She felt eyes on her and looked back to Legolas. It was her turn to blush as she noticed him staring at her. Neither of them noticed the other males look at each other and smirk.

”Renee, is it time for our lesson already?” Legolas asked as he walked to her. “Come I’ll introduce you to the others.” He took her by the hand and let her to the tables where the others were gathered.

”I believe you know Figwit,” the elf in question bowed his head.

”Yes, we have met,” he was soft spoken but his eyes were light with laughter. She had literally run into him several days ago in the hall outside Gandalf’s work room. Renee’s head had been pounding and she hadn’t been paying attention to where she was going, other than away from the torture of Gandalf. Legolas had found them both sprawled on the floor laughing and groaning and had introduced them.

”And this is Gildan, Thenor, and Celegalen,” Legolas pointed to the others as he spoke. Gildan bowed and kissed her hand while Thenor and Celegalen touched their hearts and bowed their heads slightly.

”Watch out for Gildan,” Celegalen spoke up, “he will try to steal your heart. He is much the charmer.”

”I can not steal what the Lady does not possess,” Gildan spoke up with a laugh. Renee was confused, what had she done to give that impression? Legolas stiffened beside her and was about to step forward when the elf continued, “She has obviously already given it away to someone else,” he finished with a smirk.

”Enough Gildan, leave the lady alone.” Legolas demanded in elvish.

”I speak only the truth, she has eyes only for you my friend.”

”Who the lady looks at is no concern of yours.”

”Enough both of you, just because I do not speak Sindarin does not mean I do not understand it. Never assume. My heart is my own and its state is not open for discussion,” Renee stated firmly as she turned away.

She walked down the practice field, her heart racing at her outburst. As she went to retrieve the arrows Legolas had shot, she thought it also might have something to do with the thought of Legolas defending her. Unfortunately she wasn’t watching were she was walking and she walked right into the path of an arrow. She screamed, as it ripped through her back low on her shoulder.

Legolas felt the blood drain from his face as Renee stumbled and fell. All the elves on the field ran with him as he raced towards the fallen elleth. He dropped to his knees as he reached her side. He saw by the fletching that it was the arrow of a very young elf he knew, who was still in training and could not have prevented the accident. Legolas gritted his teeth as he reached out and removed the arrow. Renee whimpered at the pain then lost consciousness.

The elf that shot the arrow was beside himself with worry, as he reached Renee’s side he stripped off his tunic and offered it to Legolas. Legolas took the cloth and stuffed the entire thing over the wound as he turned her over and gathered her up into his arms. Gildan and Theron followed him as he made his way to the healer’s wing of the great house.

”Gildan, go and get Lord Elrond. Theron go find Aragorn,” he whispered harshly, not wanting to disturb Renee. He didn’t want her to wake until the healers had a chance to clean and bandage the wound.

Minwe the healer on duty, rushed forward as Legolas pushed the door open. He set Renee down gently on the bed and rolled her over so the healer could see the bloody hole in her shoulder.

”What happened my lord?” Minwe asked as the took a knife and cut the back of Renee’s tunic to expose the entire shoulder.

”Training accident. She walked into the path of a stray arrow,” answered Legolas as he backed away from the bed.

He only moved as far away as the corner but he could still see the blood flowing out of Renee’s flesh. He barely had time to wonder about the other small silver scars marring her back as Elrond and Aragorn rushed in. As the healer Minwe informed Lord Elrond and Aragorn of Renee’s condition Legolas thought of the conversations he and Aragorn had over the last month. Aragorn had never said specifically that Renee had been injured by someone, but every thing he had and had not said plus everything Legolas had seen with his own eyes led him to believe it. Her whimpering brought him out of his thoughts.

”We can’t know if she has control of her gift in this condition, Minwe. I suggest until we know or she wakes up, that you wear gloves while tending to her. For now Estel will see to her care,” Elrond suggested when he entered the room. Aragorn nodded and began bathing the wound.

”Luck was with us this day, the training arrow was well used and did not go deep.” Elrond handed Aragorn some comfrey and athelas, both would help stimulate the re-growth of muscle, Aragorn sighed. Thankfully the arrow hadn’t hit bone and was relatively clean.

Minwe brought a sheet to drape across the lady as Aragorn removed the rest of her tunic. She was wearing the grey one he had bought her. He made a mental note to get her some clothes made for the journey south. Legolas remained silent as they worked on her. Only after she was seen to and comfortable did he make his presence known.

”I apologize Estel. I was not paying enough attention, I…” Legolas was cut off when Aragorn held up his hand.

”Mellon nin, you need not apologize, Theron explained on the way here. It was an accident. There was nothing you could have done,” Aragorn spoke quietly. “She will heal. I don’t believe she would blame you either.”

”Yes, I concur. She will be able to get up by tomorrow, possibly around luncheon,” Elrond nodded. “We will know more by this evening, if she has not developed a fever by then we will know for sure.”

”Ada, might I suggest before letting her go tomorrow you get the other examination out of the way, you might not get another chance,” Aragorn whispered.

”Aye, that is a good idea, however I am not much looking forward to convincing her,” Elrond sighed he had almost forgotten Estel had asked this of him.

Legolas was curious, what examination where they going to do? But as they had spoken so low he knew he had not been meant to hear, so he held his questions for later. He took the seat by her bedside and stared at her. They had dressed her in a white nightdress and Aragorn had brushed her long dark hair, it fanned out around her pale face. It was startling to him really to realize how much he cared for her even though he’d known her only for a short time. He’d had many lovers during his lifetime but none had affected him as quickly or as strongly, the way this young elleth did. He truly only felt alive in her presence. Soul mates were not unheard of in elven society but they were rare. It was said that soul mates did not have to wait for the intimate act of joining bodies to achieve a life bond. He wondered if it would be appropriate to speak to Lord Elrond about it, possibly he could confirm such a bond, if it did in fact exist. Legolas watched her through the night, not realizing when the healers came and went. Not seeing the knowing look Aragorn gave him as the human came to check on his sister.

Half way through the night Aragorn came in again, and shook his head in wonder. He marveled at the sight that greeted him. Legolas didn’t look to have moved an inch in all the time he had been sitting there.

”My friend, you should go find your rest,” he whispered, breaking the silence.

Legolas jerked. He was startled, he had not heard Aragorn enter the room. He looked out the window and was surprised to see it was the middle of the night.

”And what of you Aragorn? Should you not also be finding your rest?” he questioned as he turned back to the mortal.

”I’m used to sitting up with her. Almost every night she comes to my chambers,” Aragorn sighed. “I don’t know what to do to help her with the nightmares. We talk for a while and she goes back to her room, but I don’t believe she sleeps very much.”

”Does she tell you what she dreams?” concern filled Legolas’ voice.

”No, she refuses to speak of it.”

”And yet you know something, or you would not let her refuse,” Legolas was perceptive as usual.

Aragorn looked at Renee before answering. He would be betraying her trust to tell Legolas and yet he felt the elf should know if the looks exchanged between the two were anything to go by. He made his decision and made sure Renee was still sleeping. Her eyes were still closed. He motioned for Legolas to follow him to the balcony.

(Chapter 8b)

Over an hour later Aragorn left to find his rest, the turmoil of the day catching up with him. Legolas was once again in the chair at Renee’s side lost in thought. Her own father, he thought, it was no wonder she was so uncomfortable around Lord Elrond. Surely she would associate any father figure with pain, and the examination tomorrow would not further her trust of him, he did not think. He sighed, he had much to work through before he gained her trust, but it was something he felt he must do. If she was indeed his soul mate then he would do all in his power to see her scarred soul healed. Tomorrow he would talk to Elrond about the possibility of a bond. He looked up as he heard movement.

Renee was lost in the grips of one of her most hated nightmares. Her father was on top of her again; pain ripped through her as he mercilessly used her body. She tried to scream at the images she was receiving from him but they were too much. He had been thinking of this for a long time, watching her, touching her. All of those small touches she had thought nothing about, he had planned, he had intentionally used the buckle of his belt to hit her with knowing it would rip her shirt and expose her to him. The worst was the knowledge that her mother had known and done nothing.

The last time her parent’s had sex her father had called out Renee’s name. Sha’nita stumbled from one affair to another, knowing that her husband wanted their daughter had driven her almost insane. Renee relived it all in her dreams. Sometimes it was just the rape but more frequently she would ‘see’ these visions, she tried to remember if they had occurred during the actual rape or if they were just a figment of her twisted brain, but during the light of day she just couldn’t make it clear enough in her mind to remember.

Renee was thrashing on the bed mumbling something under her breath. Legolas leaned forward and tried to make out her words but the most he could understand was the word “no” over and over.

He called to her and held her hand, she didn’t waken but she did calm. He settled back into his chair still holding her hand and began to sing. Before long he was drifting off into his own sleep.

~~~

Legolas opened his eyes, he was in a small clearing surrounded by trees. Through the trees down a narrow path in the under brush he could see a strange sort of house. It had two floors and many windows, the house was mostly square but for a bit of the second floor hanging over a strange metal contraption with wheels. He tried looking in other directions but couldn’t make out anything but trees and the house. He started walking towards the house when a voice stopped him.

”Don’t go up there! He’ll kill you.”

He stopped and looked around again, finally he spotted a small figure sitting in the crook of a tree. He walked over to the tree, looked up and gasped. He was confused. It looked like Renee only smaller, less vibrant. He stepped back in shock, she was human. Renee jumped from the tree and landed lightly in front of him.

”Legolas how did you get here?” Renee was confused as well, she had been hiding from her father in the tree when the stranger showed up. Then she had seen him and knew him. How? Her head began to pound and she remembered. Middle-earth. She was an elf!

Legolas was stunned, his mouth fell open as her form began to change. Suddenly she was exactly as he knew her.

”Where are we Renee?” he couldn’t think of anything else to say, he was beginning to understand what was going on but was shocked by the thought of it.

”My old house. I must be dreaming and pulled you in somehow, I’m sorry.”

He laughed, that was so typical of her, to apologize for everything. He didn’t think it was her fault. After all he had been the one to go to sleep holding her hand, when Elrond had told them all not to touch her in her weakened state. Maybe here they could talk, he wanted her to be comfortable with him, to trust him. This dream only strengthened his belief in their soul bond.

”Let us sit and talk for a while,” he led her to the middle of the clearing and gracefully lowered himself to the ground.

It was a beautiful spot, the green of the grass had a hint of purple, and the smell of clover and flowers was in the air. He laughed as she practically threw herself to the ground on her back, staring up at the clouds. He laid back and stretched out beside her. They were close enough that he could feel her shoulder touching his, it was an unconscious closeness that he realized they had always had.

”Do you remember that you were injured?” he was curious.

”I remember pain, but I don’t remember what happened. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll find out when I wake up. I am curious about why you are here though,” she spoke quietly as was her usual manner, but this time she wasn’t afraid she just didn’t want to disturb the peace of this place.

Legolas took a deep breath and debated on what to tell her and how.

”What do you know of elven bonding?”

”Aragorn and I are bonded through a blood exchange. Married couples bond through…..” she felt herself blush and stumbled on her words, “um, you know….” Her voice trailed off.

”Hmm… yes I do know,” he tried not to grin but couldn’t hold it back. “There are many types of bonds however. Great friends might bond themselves together so that if anything should happen to one, they might find each other again, either in this life or the next. There is the master, servant bond in which one family might bind themselves to another family, much like Frodo and Samwise.”

”We don’t really fit any of those and yet I get the feeling that you are going to say that we are bonded somehow,” she knew from her vision that they would bond physically but they hadn’t done that yet so why was he here.

”Yes, I believe we are. It is a bit more difficult to explain, but I want you to hear me out okay. I was going to speak to Elrond later about it but with this new development I believe we should speak about it now.”

Renee couldn’t believe how unsure he sounded, this was not like his normal self assured persona. She swallowed, what was he talking about?

”Okay, I’ll hear you out and reserve questions for after.”

”First I want you to know that I would never hurt you. I can feel your fear sometimes and while I cannot know the future I can say with all certainty that I would never intentionally hurt you. You can trust me,” Legolas could feel her nervousness spike and realized his words were not helping. Best to just say it and then explain.

”Okay, there is a type of bonding that is extremely rare. It is called soul bonding and neither party has any control over it. It is when you find your soul mate, the perfect match to your soul. This type of bond is much more that a marriage bond, it does not require a physical union to take hold. I believe that this is the type of bond we share,” Legolas sat up. He needed to see her face as he said the words. “My soul comes alive in your presence,” their gazes caught, “what I feel for you is beyond love, beyond need. You own my soul.”

Renee’s eyes grew huge and her mouth went dry. She sat up slowly never breaking eye contact. She scooted away just a bit, just enough to give her some breathing room. She felt he was waiting for a response of some kind but she couldn’t think of what to say.

”I, um, wow! That is fairly intense. I mean, you’ve known me for like a month and I own your soul,” she couldn’t help the sarcasm that was her defense mechanism for so long.

Legolas smiled at her disbelief, he had to admit it did sound farfetched when she put it like that, but truth was truth.

”We are elves. Our magic is real. The Valar are real. Soul bonding is real. I can not help that your soul is a perfect match for mine, any more than you can help your disbelief.”

”So we’re, married now or something?”

”Something like that, however you are young and not ready for a marriage bonding. For now, please, consider us very close friends. One day if you want more and when you feel ready we can bond physically. Until then know that there will never be anyone else for me. I can already sense your emotions, I can feel when you are afraid or in pain. I know when you are happy and I can tell that right now you are both happy and confused,” his heart leapt when he felt her surge of joy. She had suppressed it quickly but he knew that she had been happy when he said there would never be anyone else for him.

”In my world we are not so open with the flowery words and stuff. I’ve never really felt love like you are talking about. I have finally admitted that I love Aragorn and I would do most anything for him. I have a brother who loves me. That took me by surprise, but this. This is big, more than big really, this is huge. It’s almost too much to think about. I like you, you know that. I think you’re more than beautiful, Arwen had a good laugh about that one, let me tell you. But I, I mean….” Renee would have babbled on but Legolas chuckled and stopped her.

”I did not tell you this to force you to make a decision now. I only thought you should know, because things between us might change. With your powers there is no telling how a soul bond of this type will affect us. You will be able to sense me like I do you. I can tell where you are in Rivendell, but with your mind gifts we might be able to speak mind to mind. I do not mean to push you into anything. Although it is good to know that you think me beautiful,” he couldn’t help teasing her a little.

Her eyes had grown huge again. He couldn’t help but stare at her changeable eyes. Mostly when she was practicing with the bow she wore the grey or black tunics Aragorn had bought her but here in her dreams she was wearing a blue pull over tunic it made her eyes a bright vivid blue. Although he liked her best in the muted red dress she had worn the first night to dinner, her eyes had been almost violet that night.

”I can already feel you. I think it started in the council, I was letting my mind drift over everyone. Just sort of feeling of everyone. And then I touched you, or my mind did, but it was just like I had laid my hand on you. I saw Mirkwood, before the spiders came. I saw Mirkwood grow dark and then you were fighting the spiders. I saw us fighting these ugly black creatures they were like men but not men. I guess maybe orcs, I don’t know I haven’t ever actually seen one before. We were with Frodo taking the ring south. And then I saw us…..” Renee blushed again and looked down at her lap, unable to say the words.

”You saw us bonding?” he couldn’t keep the smile from blossoming on his face. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself form laughing out loud in his joy. He was beyond happy, but he knew the thought of bonding with him still scared her so he held back his elfling like squeals, but just barely. He took a deep calming breath and started again.

”You saw us bonding,” it wasn’t a question this time. “It frightened you.” he reached out and gently cupped her jaw, pulling it up until she looked at him. “It would not happen unless you were ready,” he whispered.

”I know, but I have to tell you,” Renee swallowed. He had to know she wasn’t scared of him. “My father, I, he…..” she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It was so much easier talking to him when she didn’t have to look at him.

Legolas knew that she needed to say the words. It would help her heal. And Aragorn had told him in confidence, he did not want Aragorn to lose Renee’s trust. His thumb caressed her cheek once before he let her go. He returned his hands to his lap so she would not see them fist in anger at her father.

”Go on. Your father?” he couldn’t help the harsh tone in his voice.

”You know? I can tell, but how?” She looked up and licked her dry lips. How could he know? But he must otherwise why was he looking so pissed. He couldn’t think that she was willing, could he?

”We are talking about bonding, you brought up your father and you are terrified. What am I supposed to think lirimaer? He hurt you didn’t he?”

”Yes. I… I’m not a virgin. And I’m… Legolas it hurt and I really didn’t like it. What if I can’t do it! Aragorn said that he wanted Lord Elrond to look and see if any permanent damage had been done, but I…. I don’t know. I’m confused and scared” she paused for breath and then continued "Now I have you and Aragorn and I don’t have to go back but I’m just really really, Ahhhh…. I don’t know what I mean!” Renee flung herself back onto her back and screamed. “It’s too much. I don’t want to think about it,” she said after she calmed a bit.

”Then don’t think about it right now. We will wait and get to know each other better. If I thought it would help, I would walk into that house right now and kill him for you. But this place isn’t real, and even if it was it wouldn’t make you feel any better,” Legolas laid back as well.

”I hate him, but I don’t want him dead. It’s enough that he is a world away. I just want these nightmares to stop.”

”You should talk about them. It might help, if not to me then to Aragorn or Elrond.”

”Oh no, Aragorn worries about me enough. If I live to be a hundred he will still see me as a child,” she smiled

”If you live to be a hundred? Lirimaer, you should live to be far older than that!” he chuckled.

”Grr, you know what I mean. Even if I live to be really, really old like you. Aragorn will still treat me like an infant,” she growled playfully.

”Old like me? I am nowhere near old mellon nin, if you want old you should go see the Lady Galadriel. Now that is old!”

They laughed and talked together for a while more before Legolas felt a pull at his awareness.

”I believe it is time to wake up lirimaer. Someone wants to speak with me,” he sighed. He had enjoyed their time together.

”What does ‘lirimaer’ mean?” Renee asked. She sat up and looked around when she didn’t get an answer. He was gone. She concentrated on that part of her that always knew him. He was still there, it was weird to feel the bond but it felt right, and now she understood it. She closed her eyes and willed herself towards him.

~~~

The first thing she felt was the pain in her shoulder when she moved her arm. She opened her eyes and looked around. She was in a strange room, not her own, one with carvings on the walls; it was done all in white. Legolas, Aragorn and Lord Elrond where all gathered around a table deep in conversation.

She wondered if it had all been a dream or Legolas really had been with her. She let her power drift over to the males around the table, it settled around Legolas. She imagined she was reaching out with her hand, she couldn’t see his face so she only thought to move a bit of his hair away from his face. She reached out with her power and brushed at the hair, pulling it behind his ear.

Legolas felt the hair at the side of his face move but there was no wind. Then he felt a caress on his ear, electric tingles shot down his spine right to his groin. He thought he was going to loose his breath, only his strict training for his fathers court kept him from embarrassing himself. He turned to look at Renee, it had felt like the caress of her mind. She was using the bond already, as he turned their eyes locked. For a moment he thought he saw himself in her eyes. Well there could be no doubt then, they had bonded in that dream world of hers.

Renee was blushing at the feelings she could tell she had inspired in Legolas but she couldn’t look away. It was strange to see yourself in someone else’s eyes.

‘Well, I guess that means it wasn’t a dream then,’ she thought.

‘No lirimaer, it was no dream,’ Legolas answered her. He laughed when her mouth opened in shock. ‘I tried to tell you this might happen. You have accepted the bond then. This pleases me.’

He stood and walked to her bedside and sat beside her. Neither of them noticed Lord Elrond and Aragorn exchange a look before shamelessly eavesdropping on the conversation about to take place.

”Suilad melethnin, coramin lindua ele lle!” he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

”So um, you ever gonna tell me what lirimaer and melethnin mean?” She whispered back, blushing even more at his words.

“Lirimaer means lovely one and melethnin means my love,” he grinned as she ducked her head again.

‘Oh wow! Hello my love, my heart sings to see thee! Wow he actually said that, what do you say back to something like that? Okay, don’t panic, don’t panic, just think of something hurry up he’s staring at you!’

Legolas laughed out loud.

“Oh gods, you heard all of that didn’t you!” she groaned and laid back down on the bed.

“Yes I did. May I make a suggestion? Saying something like, Hello Legolas, it is good to be awake. Or something to that effect!” he said still laughing.

“Hello Legolas, it’s good to be awake, or something to that effect,” she mimicked him making a face.

“Do you feel like we are missing something?” Aragorn asked Elrond.

“Indeed,” Elrond smirked and cocked an eyebrow. He looked to the young couple on the bed and stood, he motioned for Aragorn to follow. They had both heard the conversation and wondered at what had changed over night. Legolas had not mentioned that Renee had regained consciousness through the night.

Elrond cleared his throat to gain their attention. “Would either of you care to explain?”

Legolas’s smile died a little when he felt Renee’s fear. ‘Why are you afraid?’

‘Is he going to be mad that we have this bond thing?’ she thought back to him.

‘He might be concerned but not mad at you. You do know that he would never hurt you,’ he felt her doubt. ‘Renee, Elrond would never hurt you. Please trust me. Trust Estel, he would not have brought you here if he thought you would be hurt.’

She couldn’t take anymore heart felt discussions with him right now and attempted to change the subject. ‘You might want to answer them, their looking anxious.’

“Me? Why not you?” he asked, grin back in place.

‘Because you explain it so much better than me.’

“How do you know? And why aren’t you speaking out loud? That will make them wonder.”

‘I can’t talk right in front of him. He’s too intimidating, I always say something to embarrass myself.’

‘Okay but you are going to have to learn to speak in front of and to him. He is your foster father and the Lord of Rivendell eventually you will have to speak to him.’ Legolas stood but did not let go of her hand. The best way he knew how to explain what had happened was to let Lord Elrond know about the bond and then explain about the dream. He took one last look at Renee, drawing comfort from her beauty and turned to look the elf lord in the eye.

Elrond could tell they were speaking mind to mind, it was something he and Gandalf had thought she might be able to do when she came into her full powers. As far as he knew yesterday she had not been able to do it. Legolas was acting strange as well. When the young prince stood and looked at him their eyes met. He inhaled deeply at the sight. A bonding, he had not expected this. He looked to Aragorn as Legolas turned to look at his friend.

“How did this happen?” Aragorn asked. He trusted his friend and knew that he would not have taken advantage of Renee in the middle of the night, especially after being told about her past. He was however concerned for her, did she realize what this meant.

“I believe it is a soul bonding. We have felt it since the council and last night I walked into her dream. I believe that our time in the dream cemented the bond.”

“And have you explained to her what this means?” Elrond questioned Legolas.

Aragorn went to Renee’s bedside and sat. “Muinthel, did Legolas explain to you what this type of bond is?”

“Yes,” Legolas answered as he turned to the Lord of Rivendell.

“Yes, he’s been really nice Aragorn. He knows about, well I told him about…well you know. And he said that we didn’t have to be… married or anything, until I’m ready,” she sighed and chewed her lip. “He’s just.. been really nice,” she finished lamely.

Elrond didn’t take his eyes off Legolas as the girl began to speak. The young prince seemed almost amused at the girl stuttering, but Elrond could plainly see the love in his eyes. He sighed, it seemed he had lost his daughter before every really getting to know her.

“Well this is unexpected. It seems the Valar are choosing your family this time Aewnaur. This is a blessing, it means that you do not have to worry about choosing wrongly. You could not have asked for a better mate,” Elrond inclined his head to Legolas giving as much blessing for the union as he could at this time. He noted the relieved expression on Legolas’ face and wondered why the prince had been worried.

Legolas turned to Renee. “See I told you he would not be angry!”

“I believe there is something else that needs to be discussed as well. Renee, Aragorn came to me with a request not long after you arrived. He wishes for me to perform an examination on you to insure no permanent damage was done in the attack you suffered,” Elrond stated.

Legolas sat at the foot of the bed as a wave of terror hit him. This was getting unreasonable, he would have to find a way to block some of this constant awareness.

Aragorn watched as her eyes dilated in fear. He took her hand. “Renee, we talked about this. It needs to be done. If you were in your world it would have already been done.” He said soothingly

“Yes, by a stranger in a hospital that I would never have to see again! This is just so embarrassing. You want me to feel more comfortable around him and then you want him to look at me. There!” She pointed at her groin.

He couldn’t help it, Legolas snickered at her exclamation. “Renee he is a healer.”

“I don’t care, and stop laughing at me.” she said out loud then privately she sent, ‘I don’t want anyone looking there. Hell I don’t want to look there why would I let anyone else? I’ll never be able to look him in the eyes again.’

Legolas had to turn away from her, he didn’t want her to see his face. His eyes were tearing up and his shoulders where shaking with the effort to hold back his laughter.

‘I can feel you laughing you know,’ she thought at him.

‘I apologize Renee. But I am curious, why are you speaking of embarrassment and feeling terror? I believe you are not so much embarrassed as you are saying.’ Legolas thought to her, his amusement fading in the face of her obviously distraught emotions.

‘Oh great I get to have embarrassing private conversations in the middle of everybody. This is just fabulous, no really I mean it just think of the fun and useful things I can do with this new gift,’ Legolas interrupted her.

"Would you rather speak about this out loud then," Legolas asked out loud as he stood and turned back to her.

‘No, that’s ok, this is fine, this is good.’ She stared at the ceiling and refused to look at anyone. ‘I just don’t want him touching me, that’s all. It makes me uncomfortable.’

"I understand, but you know this needs to be done. Do you want Aragorn or myself to stay with you?"

Legolas closed his eyes and massaged his temples as her mental walls came back up full force. He turned to Elrond, who had been standing there waiting patiently and watching the show.

"My Lord, I believe I am developing a headache, would you mind if…,"

"Of course, I shall have Minwe make you a tea," Lord Elrond said and walked to the door.

As he left Legolas said, "My Lord, would it be possible for Minwe to perform the examination?" Legolas hoped he was not overstepping his place. He felt the walls around Renee's mind lower a fraction.

“She is a skilled healer and midwife, if Renee has no objections, Minwe would be a fine alternative for myself,” Elrond smiled as he turned to Renee and saw her nod.
Legolas felt her resignation to the exam, and her fear decrease with the suggestion of Minwe.

Hearing no protest from the girl in question Elrond left the room to speak with Minwe.

"Legolas would you mind giving me a few minutes alone with Renee," Aragorn asked quietly. He still wasn’t sure she knew what the bonding meant or if she was ready for the examination.

"Of course my friend," Legolas bowed then made his way out to Elrond.

Aragorn turned back to Renee. "He is gone muinthel. Now please speak with me. How are you really?" Concern laced his words. He felt it was his duty as her brother to make sure she was ok. Normally Lord Elrond would ask her these questions, and be telling her about the bond. But as she was frightened of the Lord of Rivendell, he felt she would speak more freely to him alone.

"I’m confused really. I didn’t expect anything like this to ever happen. I’m not really scared of Legolas, and I do like him. I just don’t think I am ready for marriage. He said we could just be friends and get to know each other better," her voice was full of uncertainty.

"Yes, as Elrond said. You could not have a better mate. I know you don’t trust Lord Elrond but please trust me. Legolas has been a close friend my entire life. He is a good elf."

"Oh, I trust Legolas. I think the bond would not have worked if I didn’t trust him. I mean I’ve been with him nearly everyday for the last few weeks, but the bond didn’t form until I trusted him. In the dream."

"It’s a lot to take in all at once and normally I would leave you alone to gather your thoughts, but you really need this exam. I told you before I was going to ask him to do this," Aragorn held his breath until she answered.

"Okay, I know I need this, and in my world this would already have been done. I am uncomfortable but it will be easier I think with Minwe instead of Lord Elrond. I want you to stay, but not Legolas. That would be just too weird. I barely know him, it was different in the woods with you. I was in pain then, but now with this bond, it would be…"

"I understand. I will stay right here and hold your hand if you desire. Legolas will understand too," Aragorn smiled at the girl he had claimed as sister. They sat in silence until Elrond and Minwe came back into the room.

"Legolas would you mind terribly waiting out there? Please. This would just be too awkward with you here." Renee asked as she reopened the link.

"Of course, whatever makes you comfortable. But please do not shut me out like that again. I could barely even feel you, we need to find a comfortable medium." Legolas sighed with relief, it had been very uncomfortable without her presence in his mind.

"I’m sorry, I just needed a bit of privacy and until we have this worked out a little better I didn’t know what else to do."

"I understand, it was only ..disconcerting," he finished his headache tonic and started back to his room. He wasn’t need in the healers wing for a while.

*

Dinner that evening was subdued. Renee’s shoulder still pained her but she was at the dining hall on time. She and Legolas had spoken off and on all day but had not seen each other since he had left the healers wing. Minwe had been gentle, efficient and had put her at ease with her steady flow of words through the entire exam. She had some scaring but not enough to worry about, which was a relief. Aragorn true to his word had stayed with her and had not let her out of his sight the rest of the day. She was thankful for Aragorn’s presence, but after dinner intended to find a moment alone.

It took longer than she thought to get that moment but finally she found herself alone in the small garden over looking one of the many waterfalls in Rivendell. It reminded her of the clearing she used to run to behind her house, it made her feel safe. She let her mind drift with the soothing sounds of nature. She was really starting to feel like an elf, sitting there surrounded by the sounds of running water and trees sighing. She could almost hear the trees talking to her. It was nice.

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there when she heard someone behind her. She didn’t turn her head but instead used her mind to ‘feel’ who was there. Lord Elrond. She controlled her visible flinch, but she knew he had felt her probing him with her mind. She hoped it wasn’t something he disapproved of.

“Gandalf said your powers were well within your control. I see he was right,” Elrond observed. After a moment of silence he sighed. He had really hoped to get closer to his newest daughter, had hoped that she would at least speak to him.

“All of your teachers say you are doing well. I am very proud to call you daughter,” he kept his tone light hoping she would at least turn and look at him.

Renee was in shock. He was proud of her! How? Why? All she had done was cringe from him or spout off at the mouth. She could tell he was trying to put her at ease and knew she should at least attempt to act like a normal person. The problem was that she didn’t know quite what to say. She cleared her throat but still did not turn around to him.

“Thank You,” it was almost a breathless whisper but he heard her, she knew.

“No daughter, thank you. I know that you are having a hard time here. Gandalf said that your world is much different, but you have adjusted to living here quite well. And you have brought a much needed lightening of spirit to many who know you. We, the Eldar, are a fading race. Many of us have chosen to sail for the Undying Lands, those who have stayed are the youngest of us, yet still they are old to the race of Man. Many have forgotten what is like to be young. You have brought that spirit back to Rivendell. We should all thank you,” he moved closer as he spoke but stayed a step just out side of touching distance.

“I.. I don’t know what to say, Lord Elrond. I’m just doing what you told me to do. I’m just here, being me. Nothing special.”

“Oh it is something special. Do you think that you are the first elleth Estel has ever found in his wanderings? No, I can assure you that you are not. However, you are the first that he has taken for a sister. That my dear, is special. Are you the first elleth Prince Legolas has ever taught archery? No. Yet here you are bonded to him. He is three millennia and you are fifteen. For all that Gandalf wants us to think of you as older, to us you are but a babe. Yet here you are a perfect match for a Prince,” as he spoke this time he lowered himself down to the grassy garden floor. “My dear, why is it, do you think, the Valar put you directly in Estel’s path?

Renee thought about that for a second, really why had they?

“I suppose they wanted me to be with someone I at least knew and who would protect me?”

“Then why not Gandalf? Surely you believe he would protect you.”

“Yes, but at that time he was in trouble with Sarumon.”

“Ok then, why not Legolas? He is after all your soul mate. He was your soul mate in your world as well as this one, you know. Elven souls transcend worlds as you must know, being that you have one,” he knew that might have been more than she was aware of. Though he felt it was true.

“I.. Legolas, I..” she stuttered off. “I don’t know,” she whispered finally.

“Well, I do not know the minds of the Valar, but would you like for me to tell you what I believe?” he spoke quietly hoping that he would say the right words, that she would not be frightened of him anymore.

Renee nodded her head but didn’t speak.

“I believe that you were brought here for a purpose. That you were put in Estel’s path for the purpose of becoming his sister. You were meant to be with him in his journey from Bree and you are meant to go on with him. Think on this, the Valar did not bring you straight to Rivendell, though you were injured and would have been safe and cared for here. You have some great destiny, and though you are an elf, your destiny is not with the Eldar, it is with Men. I believe your destiny lies with Aragorn.”

“Not with Legolas?” Renee finally looked to Elrond to find him staring up at the moon.

“Indeed. You are meant to be the mate of Legolas but he is not your destiny.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how you could know all of this. I mean what kind of big destiny could I have? I’m really not anyone special. My only real knowledge of this world is this journey to destroy the One Ring, and that is Frodo’s destiny. Not mine,” there was confusion and denial in her voice.

“Hen, child, I know not what your destiny is for sure. I only know that you have one,” Elrond stood and brushed his robes straight again. “It is getting late neth pen. You have an early meeting with the seamstress to measure you for your travel clothing, do not stay out too late.”

Renee watched as he walked back to the brightly lit main house. Her mind in a whirl, it was really starting to get to her. There was too much going on. The Quest, the Bonding , and now the Destiny. Oh and lets not forget, the Attack. She groaned and laid back on the soft grass to stare at the moon. When had she started thinking in capitol letters? She chuckled to herself probably when she had fallen into a storybook.

She stayed there in the garden just letting her mind flit from subject to subject, not really thinking deeply about any thing for a while. Maybe later it wouldn’t seem like so much. Yeah, she would just go with the flow for now. Getting used to Legolas being in her head would take a while, maybe after she was used to that she would be able to think about having a Destiny.


tbc...

Neth pen - Young one