Runes of Love
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
4,180
Reviews:
20
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
4,180
Reviews:
20
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 8
Title: Runes of Love 8/?
Author: Bernsteinnixe
Email: Bernstein_nixe@yahoo.com
List: http://www.tolkiens_naughty_elves@yahoogroups.com
Pairing: Haldir/Thranduil
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Haldir is given a chance to turn his life around, but when he chooses to follow his dreams, he leaves behind someone he loves.
Chapter 8
Many years had passed since the day Haldir decided to stay in ‘Lorien. He had not meant for his healing time to last for so long, but in his heart he had not yet felt ready to return to Mirwood, to give Thranduil his heart without fear.
Rumil and Orophin arrived only little more than a month after he had made the decision not to come home. By now, both of Haldir’s younger brother’s had completed their warrior training in the Golden Wood and guarded the borders side-by-side with Haldir. Rumil had fallen in love with a fair maiden of ‘Lorien and they were to be bound in one month. Orophin, on the other hand, thought himself too young to settle down just yet and spent his nights off experimenting with love with ellyn and elleth alike.
Then, there was Haldir. He was the only one of the brothers who spent his time trying *not* to think about love. He knew where his heart lay—deep within the caves of Mirkwood—and he knew that one day he would return to the one he loved. But now was not the time to dwell on how much he missed Thranduil. It was the time to come to terms with his past, to get rid of the unwanted desires his previous occupation had left him with so that the next time he was in the King’s of Mirkwood arms he would know that he was there because of love and not because of his troubled soul.
Why the healing process was taking so long, he did not know. With the constant support and encouragement of not only his brothers, but of his new Lord and Lady, he was able to keep from wandering into others’ beds. The last person to touch him that way had been Thranduil, and if Haldir could help it Thranduil would also be the next to touch him. Still, not letting others bed him did not mean he had no desire of it, and as long as that desire was still there, he knew he had not fully recovered. And so it was that he spent thirty years in the Golden Wood, knowing that the day he would return home was drawing nearer, but unable and unwilling to try and predict when it would arrive.
Haldir knew that the darkness that was spreading over Middle Earth would ultimately also have an effect on when he would finally leave ‘Lorien. The world was becoming a more and more dangerous place, Orc attacks were commonplace. He had recently become Marchwarden, a position of very high status for one as young as he. Even if his heart had healed and told him it was time to go, Haldir would not leave the Golden Wood until Sauron was defeated – he would not abandon the Lord and Lady who had been so kind to him when they needed his service most.
Over the years, Thranduil had written Haldir many letters, all of which remained unread. To read the king’s letters would only make Haldir long for him more and be tempted to go back to Mirkwood before he was ready. Haldir knew this. He wrote Thranduil only one letter, shortly after he had decided to stay in ‘Lorien. He told the king that he would not be reading his letters and why, though he encouraged Thranduil to continue writing and sending them for one day he would sit down and read them all at once, and when that day came it would been that soon they would be together again.
Though Thranduil found the idea of not receiving any letters from Haldir in return painful, he tried to be understanding of the younger Elf’s needs and continued to write to him as often as he could, all the while sleeping alone in a cold, empty bed, waiting for the night his lover would be back to warm it. During the years that Haldir had been away, Thranduil had finally faced his old demons and learned to embrace his own fears and weaknesses. He finally felt ready to hand his heart over to Haldir, for better or for worse. Now, he had to face the enduring task of waiting until Haldir was ready to do the same.
*
It was making out to be a rather uneventful night. The sky was clear and the woods were silent. Haldir and his brothers were keeping watch over the border from a talan hidden in the treetops. Orophin had just begun to tell a joke when Haldir suddenly rose up his hand. “Shhh!”
‘Could that be…?’ he thought.
“’Tis singing,” said Rumil. “The voice is that of an Elf.”
Haldir listened intently for a few more seconds. He was sure of it now—the voice that was singing was that of Thranduil’s youngest son, Legolas. A soft smile played Haldir’s lips as he contemplated the possibility, but he did not bother voicing his suspicion to his brothers. Eagerly, he awaited the group’s arrival.
Time proved Haldir correct. Legolas was, indeed, among the travelers. At first they only shared a warm hug and a friendly greeting, but when the Company went off to sleep, Haldir climbed down from the flet where Legolas was already waiting for him. Together, they went for a short stroll through the woods.
Haldir listened, not with lack of interest, but with some impatience while Legolas told him news of Lúthaon and Dúrhir and his other warrior friends. Of course, Haldir missed them and wished to know whether they were well, but there was another about whom he would much rather hear.
Since it was likely that Legolas was still unaware of the relationship between Haldir and Thranduil, the Marchwarden decided he would have to ask the Prince what he wanted to know, otherwise he would not hear it.
“How fares your Adar?”
Legolas’ response surprised Haldir. “He is as well as he could be, without you by his side.” The Prince looked straight into Haldir’s eyes as he said, “He has been mentioning your name more and more often… I fear he is losing hope.”
That was not pleasant news to Haldir. Even thirty years ago, when he had chosen to stay in ‘Lorien, he knew that his decision would be painful for Thranduil, but he knew that he was doing the right thing. Still, he did not like the sound of his beloved losing hope of seeing him again.
Suddenly, Legolas turned to him. “Will you ever return to him?” he asked, his voice full of hope and apprehension.
Haldir was not quick to answer. In his heart he knew that he would return, but the sound of Legolas’ voice and look in his eyes told Haldir that the prince’s question was not only *if* he would return, but also when.
Haldir’s hesitation made Legolas feal uneasy, as if he had asked an inappropriate question. Lowering his eyes to the ground apologetically he said, “Forgive me, Marchwarden. ‘Twas wrong of me to put you on the spot with such a question.”
“Nay, you had every right to ask it,” Haldir assured him. “It was my intention to return to Mirkwood, and your Adar, from the beginning of my stay here in ‘Lorien. My intentions have not changed. When the right time comes I *will* go back.” His eyes met Legolas’ emerald gaze. “I feel that that time is not very far away.”
Legolas nodded. He wanted to ask Haldir if he could at least write to his Ada, to tell him that one day they would be together again, but he resisted the urge. As much as he pitied his Adar, pushing Haldir to do something he did not feel like he should do would only make matters worse.
“Shall we head back?” Haldir asked, only realizing that their ‘stroll’ had turned out to be much longer than they had intended.
“Aye. ‘Tis getting late,” the Prince agreed, and they turned around and started back on their way to the telain.
*
Throughout the next day’s walk, Haldir contemplated the situation with Thranduil and questioned his readiness to love, in earnest. This was something he had not done in a long time, since he believed that by not dwelling on those things would speed his recovery and prevent him from fooling himself into thinking he had healed before he truly had. The result of his musings surprised him—his heart told him he was ready. As hard as he tried, he could not dig up a trace of the shame and regret that once lay buried within. Those feelings were gone. He finally understood that his past actions were performed out of the goodness of his heart, that there was no reason to think that he was tainted and unclean. He also no longer felt the need to be used by others. He understood, now, the pleasures of the flesh were to be shared between two people who love one another, as a means of expressing that love. And yes, now that he knew this he also knew that Thranduil was the only one he would he wanted to enjoy such pleasures with.
Upon returning from the border, Haldir usually did one of two things: either he would seek the comfort of his bed and enjoy some well-deserved sleep, or he would get together with his friends at the bar for some drinks. Tonight, he would do neither.
Haldir took the letter from Thranduil that Legolas had given him, which the Prince had been carrying around with the instructions to give it to Haldir personally, should ever see him, and went to his cherry-wood desk with it. There he opened the bottom left drawer and took out a thick pile of similar letters. He sighed at the sight of all the unopened, unread letters that he had accumulated over the year. He was ready to read them now.
Haldir made himself comfortable, sitting in a half upright position upon his bed. There, by the light of a small lamp he began to read the letters, starting from the first and hoping to read threw to the most recent before morning while savoring every lovingly-written word. A plate of spice cookies and a glass of milk, which he had prepared minutes earlier, stood on the nightstand next to the bed.
Just the sight of Thranduil’s elegant writing warmed his heart as he began to read:
Dearest Haldir,
Tbc…
Author: Bernsteinnixe
Email: Bernstein_nixe@yahoo.com
List: http://www.tolkiens_naughty_elves@yahoogroups.com
Pairing: Haldir/Thranduil
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Haldir is given a chance to turn his life around, but when he chooses to follow his dreams, he leaves behind someone he loves.
Chapter 8
Many years had passed since the day Haldir decided to stay in ‘Lorien. He had not meant for his healing time to last for so long, but in his heart he had not yet felt ready to return to Mirwood, to give Thranduil his heart without fear.
Rumil and Orophin arrived only little more than a month after he had made the decision not to come home. By now, both of Haldir’s younger brother’s had completed their warrior training in the Golden Wood and guarded the borders side-by-side with Haldir. Rumil had fallen in love with a fair maiden of ‘Lorien and they were to be bound in one month. Orophin, on the other hand, thought himself too young to settle down just yet and spent his nights off experimenting with love with ellyn and elleth alike.
Then, there was Haldir. He was the only one of the brothers who spent his time trying *not* to think about love. He knew where his heart lay—deep within the caves of Mirkwood—and he knew that one day he would return to the one he loved. But now was not the time to dwell on how much he missed Thranduil. It was the time to come to terms with his past, to get rid of the unwanted desires his previous occupation had left him with so that the next time he was in the King’s of Mirkwood arms he would know that he was there because of love and not because of his troubled soul.
Why the healing process was taking so long, he did not know. With the constant support and encouragement of not only his brothers, but of his new Lord and Lady, he was able to keep from wandering into others’ beds. The last person to touch him that way had been Thranduil, and if Haldir could help it Thranduil would also be the next to touch him. Still, not letting others bed him did not mean he had no desire of it, and as long as that desire was still there, he knew he had not fully recovered. And so it was that he spent thirty years in the Golden Wood, knowing that the day he would return home was drawing nearer, but unable and unwilling to try and predict when it would arrive.
Haldir knew that the darkness that was spreading over Middle Earth would ultimately also have an effect on when he would finally leave ‘Lorien. The world was becoming a more and more dangerous place, Orc attacks were commonplace. He had recently become Marchwarden, a position of very high status for one as young as he. Even if his heart had healed and told him it was time to go, Haldir would not leave the Golden Wood until Sauron was defeated – he would not abandon the Lord and Lady who had been so kind to him when they needed his service most.
Over the years, Thranduil had written Haldir many letters, all of which remained unread. To read the king’s letters would only make Haldir long for him more and be tempted to go back to Mirkwood before he was ready. Haldir knew this. He wrote Thranduil only one letter, shortly after he had decided to stay in ‘Lorien. He told the king that he would not be reading his letters and why, though he encouraged Thranduil to continue writing and sending them for one day he would sit down and read them all at once, and when that day came it would been that soon they would be together again.
Though Thranduil found the idea of not receiving any letters from Haldir in return painful, he tried to be understanding of the younger Elf’s needs and continued to write to him as often as he could, all the while sleeping alone in a cold, empty bed, waiting for the night his lover would be back to warm it. During the years that Haldir had been away, Thranduil had finally faced his old demons and learned to embrace his own fears and weaknesses. He finally felt ready to hand his heart over to Haldir, for better or for worse. Now, he had to face the enduring task of waiting until Haldir was ready to do the same.
*
It was making out to be a rather uneventful night. The sky was clear and the woods were silent. Haldir and his brothers were keeping watch over the border from a talan hidden in the treetops. Orophin had just begun to tell a joke when Haldir suddenly rose up his hand. “Shhh!”
‘Could that be…?’ he thought.
“’Tis singing,” said Rumil. “The voice is that of an Elf.”
Haldir listened intently for a few more seconds. He was sure of it now—the voice that was singing was that of Thranduil’s youngest son, Legolas. A soft smile played Haldir’s lips as he contemplated the possibility, but he did not bother voicing his suspicion to his brothers. Eagerly, he awaited the group’s arrival.
Time proved Haldir correct. Legolas was, indeed, among the travelers. At first they only shared a warm hug and a friendly greeting, but when the Company went off to sleep, Haldir climbed down from the flet where Legolas was already waiting for him. Together, they went for a short stroll through the woods.
Haldir listened, not with lack of interest, but with some impatience while Legolas told him news of Lúthaon and Dúrhir and his other warrior friends. Of course, Haldir missed them and wished to know whether they were well, but there was another about whom he would much rather hear.
Since it was likely that Legolas was still unaware of the relationship between Haldir and Thranduil, the Marchwarden decided he would have to ask the Prince what he wanted to know, otherwise he would not hear it.
“How fares your Adar?”
Legolas’ response surprised Haldir. “He is as well as he could be, without you by his side.” The Prince looked straight into Haldir’s eyes as he said, “He has been mentioning your name more and more often… I fear he is losing hope.”
That was not pleasant news to Haldir. Even thirty years ago, when he had chosen to stay in ‘Lorien, he knew that his decision would be painful for Thranduil, but he knew that he was doing the right thing. Still, he did not like the sound of his beloved losing hope of seeing him again.
Suddenly, Legolas turned to him. “Will you ever return to him?” he asked, his voice full of hope and apprehension.
Haldir was not quick to answer. In his heart he knew that he would return, but the sound of Legolas’ voice and look in his eyes told Haldir that the prince’s question was not only *if* he would return, but also when.
Haldir’s hesitation made Legolas feal uneasy, as if he had asked an inappropriate question. Lowering his eyes to the ground apologetically he said, “Forgive me, Marchwarden. ‘Twas wrong of me to put you on the spot with such a question.”
“Nay, you had every right to ask it,” Haldir assured him. “It was my intention to return to Mirkwood, and your Adar, from the beginning of my stay here in ‘Lorien. My intentions have not changed. When the right time comes I *will* go back.” His eyes met Legolas’ emerald gaze. “I feel that that time is not very far away.”
Legolas nodded. He wanted to ask Haldir if he could at least write to his Ada, to tell him that one day they would be together again, but he resisted the urge. As much as he pitied his Adar, pushing Haldir to do something he did not feel like he should do would only make matters worse.
“Shall we head back?” Haldir asked, only realizing that their ‘stroll’ had turned out to be much longer than they had intended.
“Aye. ‘Tis getting late,” the Prince agreed, and they turned around and started back on their way to the telain.
*
Throughout the next day’s walk, Haldir contemplated the situation with Thranduil and questioned his readiness to love, in earnest. This was something he had not done in a long time, since he believed that by not dwelling on those things would speed his recovery and prevent him from fooling himself into thinking he had healed before he truly had. The result of his musings surprised him—his heart told him he was ready. As hard as he tried, he could not dig up a trace of the shame and regret that once lay buried within. Those feelings were gone. He finally understood that his past actions were performed out of the goodness of his heart, that there was no reason to think that he was tainted and unclean. He also no longer felt the need to be used by others. He understood, now, the pleasures of the flesh were to be shared between two people who love one another, as a means of expressing that love. And yes, now that he knew this he also knew that Thranduil was the only one he would he wanted to enjoy such pleasures with.
Upon returning from the border, Haldir usually did one of two things: either he would seek the comfort of his bed and enjoy some well-deserved sleep, or he would get together with his friends at the bar for some drinks. Tonight, he would do neither.
Haldir took the letter from Thranduil that Legolas had given him, which the Prince had been carrying around with the instructions to give it to Haldir personally, should ever see him, and went to his cherry-wood desk with it. There he opened the bottom left drawer and took out a thick pile of similar letters. He sighed at the sight of all the unopened, unread letters that he had accumulated over the year. He was ready to read them now.
Haldir made himself comfortable, sitting in a half upright position upon his bed. There, by the light of a small lamp he began to read the letters, starting from the first and hoping to read threw to the most recent before morning while savoring every lovingly-written word. A plate of spice cookies and a glass of milk, which he had prepared minutes earlier, stood on the nightstand next to the bed.
Just the sight of Thranduil’s elegant writing warmed his heart as he began to read:
Dearest Haldir,
Tbc…