Oblivious

Part Eight.

Dom’s eyes. His hand suddenly on my arm. Something’s wrong, concern written all over his face. Elijah, oh no, not again. Dom must see my concern because he pulls me along all the faster.
“What happened?” worried now.
“Nothing. Nothing specific he’s just…on edge. And you said…” sudden doubt.
Nod. Last time he pitched a fit at the director, sudden, explosive. He’s been staying at my place on and off. More on than off, except when he’s like this. Pacing, cigarette dangling from his fingers, smoke leaving a trail as he paces. Back and forward over the mud behind the trailers. Looks like he’s ready to explode. He hears me walking towards him and stops. Dom’s gone. And the look…those brilliant blue eyes glassed over with unshed tears, lips ripped and shiny with blood where he’s chewed through. Sudden, fleeting desperation. Then it’s gone and he’s pacing again. Watch him walk away from me, head down, hiding his face. Turns, walks back, tries to walk around me but I stop him. Hold an arm out blocking his stride. Feel him tremble, oh so slightly, trying to stay in control of himself. Cigarette suddenly at his lips, one puff and it’s burnt out. Watch him drop it, stamp it into the mud.
“Lij?” soft, try to catch his eyes.
He won’t look at me, hands bracing his elbows defensive.
“I can’t do this.” Another flash of desperation as he glances up at me. “I can’t!” soft and angry even as the crystalline tears break loose to roll down his cheeks, fall from his chin.
“Talk to me.” Quiet, gently manoeuvring him into my arms. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I can’t do this!” through gritted teeth even as he breaks into sobs.
Pull him closer. Silent sobs pressed into my shoulder so I can’t see his face.
“I can’t. I can’t.” broken.
Smooth hands down his back, let one drift up over his shoulder, cradling his head.
“You can do anything.” Whisper to him.
Feel his arms finally cling to me as I feel him shattering. Sobs tearing through him now.
“You can do anything Lij, anything you want.”
Feel him hiccup hard and I just hold him.

After a few minutes he quiets completely, still clinging to me. Stroke fingers through his hair. The other hand caressing his back in long strokes. Finally his head tilts up, he looks up at me, calm now.
The agitation has drained away. Red rimmed, big blue eyes should not look that pretty after a crying fit. No one should look that pretty after crying. But on Elijah it just looks right.
“You’re inhuman.”
Watch him frown, little lines marring the perfection. And still he looks good. Inhuman.
“No one should look good after crying.” Explain.
Snort of laughter then he’s rocking with it.
“Only you Orlando would say something so dumb.”
Lightly push him away, playing grumpy but he clings. Desperation again, then sombre.
“Thankyou.”
“It’s alright.”
“You’re always saying that.”
Shrug.
“It’s true.”
Fresh wave of tears. Shit. Teeth imbedded in his bottom lip. Slide a finger under the teeth pulling the bloodied lip free. His face just crumples. Raw. That all consuming desperation again but this time it lasts, stays on his face, in his eyes. Can’t bare it. Hug him close, just wrapping him inside me. Soft little sobs.
“Orlando you’re needed.” Quiet.
Dom somewhere behind us.
“Alright.” Nod reluctant.
Tilt Elijah’s face up, force him to look at me through the tears.
“Go home. Take my keys and go home. I’ll be there soon.”
Doubt, hesitation.
“I promise.”
“You sure?”
“Take my keys and wait for me.” Still hesitating.
“Call a cab and go back to my place, eat something and wait for me.”
He nods.
“Good. I’ll be home tonight I promise.”
“Home.” So soft.
“The keys are in my trailer.”
Another nod. Press a kiss to his forehead and let him go. He doesn’t move. Gently slide his hands from round my waist.
“Everything’ll be alright.”
Force myself to turn and go, leave him with Dom.