Into the World of Elves

Ch 8- Etiquette.

“YOU’RE going to be giving me etiquette lessons?” Temperance groaned.

“I am.” Haldir drawled regally, raising a brow at her obvious aversion to having him for her teacher.

“Of course! I should have known! All right lets get this over with. What first?” She asked, dreading his answer.

“You will learn to curtsy.” Haldir st, wi, with a firm nod. Temperance stared at him in disbelief.

“What?” he demanded.

“Elves don’t curtsy.” She answered. Haldir looked at her as if she was mad.

“We don’t?” the flabbergasted Haldir inquired. Temperance nodded.

“No you do the hand over your heart thingy.” She said waving her hands about as if to demonstrate.

“How would you know that?” He asked.

“I saw the movie.” She stated with a shrug.

“The movie?” Haldir looked utterly confused.

“Yes, people telling your story by dressing and acting like you.” She said, frustrated.

“So you watched HUMANS playing as elves?” He asked.

“Yes.” She said relieved that he caught on quickly.

“So that makes you an authority on elvish customs?” He asked, amused at the very thought. Temperance blinked and then nodded.

“Yes.” She said candidly. Haldir covered his eyes and silently bemoaned his fate. He shook his blonde head and looked at her.

“Temperance you WILL curtsy.” He ordered, pointing to ground.

“Humph!” Temperance huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

“ I mean it, curtsy!” He commanded.

“You can’t make me.” Temperance said smiling sweetly.

“Curtsy now or I shall find Elrond and let him deal with you.” Haldir threatened. Her eyes widen and the defiant look left her face.

“I thought you would see it my way.” He said rather smugly. Temperance glared at him.

“You’ll have to show me how. I have never seen it done.” She grumbled. Haldir gave a disgusted groan and moved to stand directly in front of her.

“Fine, watch and learn.” He said. Haldir placed on foot slightly in front of the other and bent his knees, making a sweeping motion with one arm while holding his “skirt” with the other. Temp clamped her mouth closed to still the giggles forming in her throat.

“There you see? What?” Haldir inquired as he straightened.

“Nothing. Could you show me again, I didn’t quite get it.” Temp asked, managing to keep a calm face. With a sigh Haldir again demonstrated a perfect curtsy, while Temperance bit her fist to keep quiet. Standing tall once more he studied her slightly red face.

“Is something the matter?” He asked. She shook her head and smiled.

“Again please? It just so hard to grasp just by looking.” Temp implored, her voice sounding strained. Biting back his frustrated growl Haldir dropped into another curtsy but this time Temperance couldn’t hold back her laughter and hooted loudly.

“Is something amusing?” Haldir asked, irritated at her amusement.

“Ha ha ha. I’m sorry I couldn’t help it! You looked so funny.” She cried, as she double over in laughter. Haldir stood watching her writhe with laughter.

“Enough.” He stated quietly but the anger that threaded his voice shut Temperance up quickly.

“Curtsy.” He commanded. Temperance quickly dipped into a curtsy and did well until she tried to come up and ended up laying face down on the floor.

“Damn floors, and damn skirts and damn everything.” She mumbled as she struggled to her feet rubbing her injured nose. She turned back to Haldir and found herself face to chest with him.

“ My nose is really taking beating in this place.” Temp stepped back. Haldir seeing that there was no permanent damaged, issued another order.

“Again and this time hold up your skirt hem so you won’t end up on the floor.” With an angry huff Temp executed an almost perfect curtsy.

“Good, now again.” Haldir instructed. Temp stood staring her mouth agape. Haldir merely snapped his fingers and waved her on.

“Pompous elves. Think they can just order everyone around. Well guess what? You can’t order me around. I’m doing this because I want too.” She mumbled and she preformed another curtsy. They spent the next half hour practicing curtsies.

“One million two hundred and forty four.” Temperance groaned as she went down to for another. Haldir watched her straighten and took pity.

“Alright enough curtsies, you have done well.” He conceded, as he saw her teeter. Temperance released a relieved sigh.

“Thank you LORD!!!!!!!!” She said as she slumped with alleviation.

“Now we will try dancing.” Haldir informed her.

“No!” Temperance groaned throwing her head back and sliding to the floor. Haldir watched her wallow on the marble.

“Are you finished with your tantrum?” Haldir asked dryly. Temp stopped her complaining to answer.

“Are you going to feed me?” She challenged. Haldir crossed his arms over his chest.

“Aren’t you being at little dramatic?” He asked drolly.

“No. I’m hungry I haven’t eaten at all. Listen.” She said and pointed to her stomach, which at that moment decided to let out a huge growl of hungry.

“Fine. You can have something to eat but you will have to learn table manners while you’re eating.” He said, over his shoulder as he went in search of food.

“Yay, food!” Temperance cried joyfully as she sat at a table ladened food. Haldir shook his head as she filled her plate.

“Your plate is too full.” He said taking her plate and removing most of the food. Smiling he set the nearly empty plate in front of a thunderstruck Temperance.

“THIS!! Is all I’m supposed to eat?” She gasped, coming to her feet.

“Yes, it would fill most elves stomachs.” He said as if that would change anything.

“I am a humay eay eating habits aren’t the same as elves.” She growled angry that he had dared to touch her long awaited meal.

“You are in the land of elves. You can always go back for more. If you wish.” He said flippantly. With an embittered groan Temp flopped down.

“More like fourths.” She grumbled and poured herself some wine. Haldir rolled his eyes and sat forward.

“Sit up straight, and sip. Don’t gulp.” He said when she took a long swig of the sweet drink. Temp followed all of his directions to the letter.

“Good, much better.” He complimented, deled ted that she wasn’t fighting him. She ate her food under the constant instruction of Haldir.

“Haldir I am going to be sick tomorrow.” She said.

“Really? How will you be sick?” Haldir asked, knowing that she was only trying to get out of her lessons. He should have realized that he wouldn’t like her answer, when a smile spread across her face.

“A lady doesn’t discuss such things.” She stated imperially. Haldir’s head hit his palm and he sat shaking his head. Temperance grinned and happened to look at the doorway. There in the archway was Legolas waving for her to come.

“I can’t.” She mouthed. Legolas continued to motion her on. She shook her head.

“Temperance. Next time you should refrain from imply such matters.” Haldir said.

“Sorry.” Temperance said.

“I know you but just remember….” Haldir started in on another lecture. So she looked inconspicuously at the door. Legolas was still t.
.

“A huh.” Temp said as if she were listening to every word.

“Come, Haldir won’t mind. Come.” He mouthed to her. Suddenly out of nowhere Gimli came into view he was running towards Legolas. Temp had been watching as the dwarf hurried to his friend’s side. His speed was great, well for a dwarf anyway, and it was incredibly hard for him to stop. The exact moment Temp took a sip of wine Gimli crashed into Legolas sending him sprawling in an ungraceful manner. Temperance spewed her wine into the unsuspecting face of Haldir.

“I’m so sorry, Haldir. Legolas and Gimli….” Temperance apologized coming to her feet. Haldir’s face was stony.

“Go.” He ground out. Temperance didn’t move.

“But Haldir, I’m so…..” She started once more.

“Leave!” Haldir shouted at her. Without another word, Temp ran from the room. Legolas had heard the exchange and sought to apologize perhaps even comfort her.

“Temperance…” He called and started to follow.

“NO! Legolas I just want to be left alone.” She said and hurried down the corridor towards her room. So she could sulk until the next meal, where she would try and apologize once more to Haldir.