Life's Path

Title: Life’s Path
Author: Elfgirl69
Pairing: Haldir/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Genre: romance
WARNING: Adult themes, sex
Disclaimer: I own no one from The Lord of the Rings. All the characters and place names displayed belong to JRR Tolkien. I do not intend to, nor am I making any financial gain from the writing of
this story.
Feedback: Yes please!
Beta: Tracy; Thanks for keeping my story online!
Timeline: A.U. Not following movie-verse.
Summary: Annis is drawn to Caras Galadhon to find her life’s path and love.

Chapter 8 – Friendship bonds

Annis walked back to her talan, her mind crammed with all that Galadriel had spoken of. For one brief moment she had forgotten everything that had happened in the past few days, but the memories came flooding back once she saw Elgaria waiting by her door. She was shocked to see how her friend’s appearance had changed so drastically over the few days after the battle at the borders. Elgaria appeared small and fragile but the most shocking change was her face. No longer the joyful and carefree face Annis knew but now a cheerless and sullen one awaited her.

As Annis neared, Elgaria turned and managed a smile. She flew into Annis’ arms and hugged her tightly then backed away, her eyes falling on the bruise, which decorated Annis’ cheek.

“Your face…does it hurt? It looks painful. hav have been so worried. Such awful thoughts have been crossing my mind. I feared the worse for you…I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help it. The thoughts of what the orcs might do…sell you…or even worse! But when Lady Galadriel told me you were safe and well, I was so relieved. I have barely been able to wait to see you. Forgive me but I have been in your talan preparing it for you!”

Annis watched her friend talk rapidly, knowing it was the nervous energy causing her to ramble. Elgaria took Annis’ hand and led her into the talan. Annis stifled a laugh when she saw the amount of food Elgaria had prepared. Elgaria had been hard at work baking fresh bread and preparing plates of fruit, which now covered Annis’ table.

“Oh I know it is a lot but I thought that maybe you wouldn’t be alone.” Elgaria blushed and made her way into the kitchen, putting the kettle on for hot tea.

Annis fell into a chair and closed her eyes. She knew who Elgaria thought was coming back with her, and Haldir again invaded her thoughts. His hair, his eyes, his body…she shook her head pushing him out of her mind. She opened her eyes and saw Elgaria sitting across from her, looking serious.

“Are you alright? You seemed to be miles away.” She asked Annis.

“Oh my dear friend, it is I who should be asking that. I just barely heard about Va…”

“Please no…I can’t hear his name.” Elgaria pleaded and turned from Annis, hiding her face with her hands. Annis stood, walked slowly over to her side and knelt next to her. She gently took her hands away from her face and looked Elgaria in the eyes. Without words, they exchanged how they felt; the pain and grief flowing between them. Annis wrapped her arms around her fragile friend and held her as they both sobbed.

The boiling kettle broke what seemed to be an eternity of tears. Both of their eyes were red and swollen from the bitter tears, which had flooded out. Elgaria broke the embrace and ran to the kitchen, preparing some tea and brought two cups back. She sat and faced Annis.

“I wanted you to be one of the first to know. But I am leaving these shores. I have spoken to Lady Galadriel already and she has made the arrangements.”

Annis looked at Elgaria in an opened mouthed shock.

“Why…you can not leave…” Was all she managed to get out before Elgaria raised a hand to silence her.

“I loved Varro with my heart and soul. I can not see myself staying here without him.”

“But you are so young; surely the pain will pass.”

“Annis…you out of everyone should understand how ones heart can feel after a short time. You desire nothing more than Haldir. How would you feel if he was taken from you?” She wiped a single tear from her face.

“Oh if only you knew Elgaria. He wants nothing from me but distance. If anyone should leave it should be me do do not belong here.” Annis added, turning her eyes away from Elgaria.

“Annis do not say that for you do belong here. You can not let Haldir’s actions chase you away from what you desire.”

“Do not leave me, Elgaria! You are my closest friend…what will I do without you here?”

“I am sorry, Annis, but I can not stay. I miss him too much.” Elgaria’s voice faded as she spoke.

“But surely you can find another. You two were not promised or bound to each other. There are many others here to chose from.” Annis quickly regretted saying the words as soon as they left her mouth. Elgaria turned on her friend, anger shining in her grief stricken eyes.

“Annis, how could you even say those words? You are being a spoiled and selfish princess. I have no desire to be here anymore, Lady Galadriel agrees with me and I am leaving to the Undying lands.”

Elgaria turned from her and walked to a window. Annis struggled to understand, but a selfish side did not want Elgaria to leave her. She looked at her friend and sighed to herself. Elgaria was right. Annis stood and followed her friend to the window.

“I am sorry. I should not have said those things.”

Elgaria turned and took hold Annis’ hands.

“Shhhh…please let us forget those words. We both have a great deal of pain in our hearts.”

Exchanging smiles they looked out the window. Annis watched the inhabitants of Caras Gladahon going on with their lives. She wondered if she did truly belong. Her dear friends were not going to be there anymore, Haldir had no desire for her, and Galadriel had told her she should no longer be a warden. Suddenly fatigue caught up with her and she yawned. She needed to stop thinking about it this for at least a little while, even though she knew she would dream of it. Breaking away from Elgaria, she went to her bedroom. She lay down and closed her eyes as a restless sleep took her.

******
Haldir was still fuming as he walked away from the healer. He was a bad patient to begin with and Rumil had not helped matters by being there. Rumil had insisted on constantly bringing up Annis’ name. Even now, as Haldir walked quickly to his talan, Rumil was close behind not letting him be.

“Haldir, you need to talk about how you feel. It will make you feel better.”

“Rumil, for the last time, leave me be!” Haldir yelled back at his incessant brother, turning to stare at his brother in frustration.

“Come now, brother, talking will make you feel better and help you clear your head.”

“The only thing right now that would make me feel better is to see my youngest brother’s back and to hear no more of his mouth!”

Haldir had moved to stand over his brother, the few inches difference in their heigeemieeming to be miles as Haldir asserted his full force at Rumil. Rumil seemed to shrink away from him.

“As you wish brother, but you will regret acting so rash and giving up on all that is truly important to you. Then one day you will turn and be all alone, no family of your own to love.”

“For the last time brother…I am not giving up on anything. I am happy with my life.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Brother, and you will start to believe it. But please do comecome to me when you turn and realize what you have told yourself all this time is nothing but lies.”

Rumil turned and left Haldir rather shocked at his outburst. Haldir shook his head defiantly and turned towards his talan. As he walked, he found himself thinking of his life, and he sighed a little as he entered his talan. He placed his pack down on the ground beside the door and sat down in his chair, closing his eyes he wondered what it would be like to have Annis there with him. He smiled slightly, thinking of little ones running around. Sleep took him slowly, the images of a family he insisted he did not desire playing in his mind. He was disturbed later, however, by some voices, which seemed to call to him.

******
She opened her eyes and saw that a blanket had been placed over her. The light entering her bedroom window indicated that it was a bright Lothlórien morning. Rolling over she spied a note and grabbed it. After rubbing her tired eyes, she read it.

My dearest friend,

I leave today for the Undying Lands. I hope you will see it in your heart to come and bid me farewell. I know it seems sudden to you, but trust me, my friend, it is the right path for me to take. I want you to know that I love you like the sister I never had and I will always be with you in your heart. This is not the end but another chapter to my life.

Your eternal friend,
Elgaria

Annis dropped the letter and got up quickly. Moving to her wardrobe she grabbed a gown and changed swiftly. Running out of her talan, she moved towards Elgaria’s talan, hoping to catch her before she departed. Upon reaching her talan saw it was too late as Elgaria’s talan was closed up and her flowers gone from the front. She sighed and looked around. An older elf stepped forward from his talan.

“Such a shame. She was a sweet one. I watched her join the procession about a hour ago.”

Annis barely thanked him and ran towards the edge of Caras Galadhon. She must have been a sight hitching her gown up as she ran. She neared the edge and could hear the singing voices in the distance. She was startled by a voice.

“You will not catch them on foot. Their voices sound closer than they are.”

She need not look to know that Haldir stood behind her. She turned and saw him leaning against a tree looking out on the trail.

“I can not let her go…not without saying goodbye to her. I was so selfish.”

She bowed her head and let her tears start to flow. She felt a hand on her chin and her face was raised to look into Haldir’s eyes.

“I have failed Elgaria. At her hour of need I was selfish and thoughtless. How could I call myself her friend?”

“I find it hard to believe that you would fail any of your friends.”

“I did. I did not even say goodbye to her.”

She bowed her head, no longer looking at him.

“Come with me.”

Haldir took her hand, leading her towards the private stables where a few elves kept horses for personal business. Haldir left her at the entrance and spoke to an elder. He came back with a large white stallion with a simple leather saddle on it’s back. He lifted her effortlessly onto it’s back. She adjusted herself to ride sidesaddle, for she was wearing a gown. Haldir mounted behind her and urged the horse on, following the path, which the procession had taken. Annis was completely taken back by his actions.

After a while the singing became louder. Haldir slowed the horse down and soon they were upon the end of the procession. Haldir guided the horse by the side of the procession to find Elgaria.

Annis saw Elgaria and before Haldir had even stopped the horse she jumped off and ran to her, calling for her to stop. Elgaria turned and appeared extremely shocked.

“Oh Elgaria, I am so sorry. You were right… I was thoughtless and selfish. I only was thinking of my loneliness and not of you.” She said, her eyes of tears.

“Oh Annis, you are my dearest friend. I will miss you, but I am glad you came. I did not want to leave without a proper goodbye.” Elgaria’s eyes went beyond Annis and smiled a little. “March Warden it is good to see you well.”

“Elgaria, I am truly sorry for your loss. I wish you well in your journey.” He grabbed her arm in greeting and bowed.

He then quietly stepped back to give them some privacy. Elgaria smiled at Annis. “I am glad you came. I know that right now it is hard for you to understand why I chose this path but as Lady Galadriel says, our paths are not always the way most will travel.”

“I know. It is just hard to think of being here without you. You have been my first and true friend. You and Varro...I mean…we were always together and now I have neither of you.”

Her voice caught in her throat as she mentioned Varro’s name, the pain of his death still fresh in her heart. Tears fell down her cheeks as she looked at Elgaria.

“Annis, we will meet again! When you take the trip to the Undying Land, I will be there waiting for you.”

“That is only if I chose the path of my mother’s ancestors. I do not know what I want anymore. I wonder if I even do belong here, with the elves.”

“You know you do. It has been a hard week for you, and you are too raw to be thinking of things right now, but you belong with us Annis, not Men. I am sorry…but you are one of us.” Elgaria looked towards Haldir and then to Annis. “I can see that you will not be alone.”

Soon the end of the procession neared Annis and Elgaria. Annis hugged her friend closely. Elgaria kissed her cheek and rejoined the procession. She turned and gave Annis one last smile. Annis waved and watched as the procession moved out of sight.

Haldir had watched from the background. His heart felt for Annis and the pain she was in. He even found himself wiping a tear away from his eye, and at that moment, he was ashamed for how he had treated her.

She was fragile and beautiful. The gown she wore was a light green color that matched her eyes and hair perfectly. He smiled slightly, remembering back to a few hours ago watching her run thru the town- her hair blowing behind her, the dress clinging to her as she ran, and the determined look on her face. So different from when she was a warden. He then grimaced a little, realizing his brother, Rumil, was correct. He needed to be with Annis.

He walked to her as the procession faded to nothing and only the soft singing could be heard. He grabbed her shoulder gently and turned her. He touched her tear stained face and smiled softly.

“Come, let us go back.” He pulled her protectively against his chest as he walked towards the horse.

Annis took a last look where the procession had been sighed. She felt as though her world had crashed around her. She did not make any effort when Haldir lifted her atop the horse, and she barley felt him mount behind her. They rode in silence for a while, Annis lost in her thoughts, wondering what she was to do now with both her friends gone. She sighed and lent back against Haldir. He placed an arm around her and placed a gentle kiss on her head. She looked up at him and managed a smile.

“I promise the pain will pass Annis.”

“I have no one Haldir…my two dearest friends are gone.”

“You have me, Annis.”

She turned to look at him, not sure what she had heard. Haldir pulled the horse to a stop and dismounted then held his arms to bring Annis down.

“Annis, I am here for you. I have been stubborn and cold, for that I am sorry. You have awoken things in me that I have hidden for many years. I do not want us to fight like this.”

Annis looked at him, shocked at the words.

“I was not fighting you, Haldir. I have wanted nothing more than to make you happy, but I seem to make you mad more times than not.”

He stepped forward and took her into his arms. He leant forward and kissed her tenderly, all his feelings pouring into the kiss. He broke from her lips and kissed her forehead, then pulled her closer to him.

“Please forgive me.”

They stayed this way for what seemed to be hours, both enjoying the feel of the other’s presence. As the sun set, Haldir broke the embrace and picked her up.

“We should return home.”

With that they mounted the horse and rode slowly towards Caras Galadhon.