Honour Before Love

Chapter Eight - The Aftermath

Legolas stood at the gates of Minas Tirith with a swiftly beating
heart. The war was over and he had survived - something he had not
really expected. Now he stood here with his companions awaiting the
company of elves that had been heralded as arriving from the north.
With his far-seeing eyesight, he was the first to see Elladan and
Elrohir leading the riders and carrying a banner of silver.

During the war, he and Elrond's twin sons had come to an uneasy
truce, and they had even fought side by side. He knew that in their
way they respected him for what he had voluntarily gone through with
the Fellowship, but the friendship he had once enjoyed with them was
still just a distant memory. They also had no idea that he was with
child, as they had left to meet their father and sister, who were on
their way to Gondor by way of Lothlorien, in early May.

Now, two months later, Legolas had been forced to resort to the more
formal robes to cover his rapidly swelling stomach.

He felt a touch on his arm and turned to look at Aragorn - now King
Elessar - who was viewing him with concern.

'It will be alright,' the former Ranger assured his friend with a
smile. Legolas nodded numbly. Aragorn had made him agree to tell
Elrond everything when he arrived. The trouble was that Aragorn did
not even know what *everything* was. He had no idea that Legolas'
son was also Elrond's. In fact he had never even met Jarab, as
Legolas had been afraid the sharp eyed Ranger would discern the
similarity between him and his foster father.

Gradually, the ref thf the party came into view over the hill and
Legolas saw many elves he knew, but it wasn't until the last few
riders that he saw the sight he had been craving for. Riding between
Arwen and another elf, Elrond sat tall and proud on a fine black
steed. Legolas felt both a wave of desire and fear go through him.
On one hand he longed to feel the lord's arms around him once more.
On the other hand, he dreaded the conversation he must have with him,
which could result on him never being in the other's arms again.

Then, with a start, his gaze became fixed on the all too familiar
figure riding by Elrond's side.

'Who is that riding beside Elrond and Arwen?' asked Aragorn. 'I
don't recognise him from Rivendell or Lothlorien.'

'That is because he is of Mirkwood,' replied Legolas in a hoarse
voice. 'That is Jarab, my son.'

Legolas heard Gimli give a gasp as he realised the seriousness of the
situation.

'But why is he with Elrond?' asked Aragorn, looking puzzled. As they
came closer, the King scrutinised the figure more closely and
suddenly an awareness came over his face. He turned to Legolas
accusingly. 'I think there is something that you haven't told me, my
friend,' he said coldly. 'And if Elrond hasn't worked it out yet, he
soon will. Though the fact they are riding side by side seems to
imply they already have.'

Legolas looked blankly at his friend, his heart beating wildly. He
had hoped to have a chance to explain to his lover what had happened
and why he had kept it from him in his own words. Now, it looked
like he had been pre-empted.

At long last the riders arrived at the gates and, with a sharp look
at Legolas, Aragorn strode forward to greet the riders. Though, once
he stood next to Arwen, it appeared that the rest of the world
disappeared as his dreams finally came true.

Smiling with a mixture of pleasure and pain at what this meant to his
daughter, Elrond dismounted from his horse, allowing one of the
guards to take the reins. He watched as Jarab did the same.

Elrond and his new found son had spent a large amount of time
together since his unexpected arrival at Imladris, though only a few
(which included Arwen and Glorfindel) knew the true state of
affairs. Arwen had welcomed her half-brother with open arms. She
was delighted to have another sibling, especially one so fair and,
she soon discovered, with a temperament which matched her own. Both
gentle, but with an underlying firmness that brooked no argument.
Arwen knew her father was also pleased, yet she often caught him with
a sad and sometimes wistful expression on his face. She guessed,
correctly, that he was thinking of what might have been, had it not
been for Legolas' brother's untimely death.

Jarab had not returned to Mirkwood despite his grandfather's urgent
demands that he was needed to protect his realm. Jarab had known
full well that King Thranduil would not put him at risk whilst
Legolas' fate was still undecided, and so had taken the decision to
stay in Rivendell and get to know his other father. As soon as the
news had come through that Sauron was defeated and Legolas lived,
there had been no stopping Jarab from travelling to Gondor with
Elrond and Arwen. With mixed feelings he had met his half-brothers
for the first time who, he knew from Arwen, had not been kind to
Legolas.

At first, before they knew the truth, they had met him with
suspicion. Then, after Elrond had revealed their kinship, they had
gradually warmed to him once the shock had worn off. Now though,
they looked at Legolas with narrowed eyes, brushing past him without
greeting. They had promised their father they would not confront
Legolas until he'd had a chance to speak with him. They could not,
however, bring themselves to be courteous.

Elrond had been aware of his lover's eyes upon him since they had
come into view. He saw him standing there uncertainly next to
Gimli. Elrond, with little sympathy, could just imagine what was
going through his mind.

He held back as he watched Jarab approach his father.

'Ada,' the younger elf said. For some reason he felt nervous as he
stood in front of Legolas, his grey eyes noting that his father
looked a great deal older than he should after a separation of a mere
nine months. He had heard many tales of what the Fellowship had gone
through, but only now did it finally hit home. Any animosity he had
felt towards Legolas for keeping such a large secret from him quickly
fell away. He was just glad that his father was alive. On impulse
he hugged Legolas who, after he got over the surprise, hugged him
back. Though he was careful to keep his stomach out of contact.
That was something he would prefer not to have to explain in the
courtyard in front of everyone.

As Jarab released him, Legolas felt the approach of Elrond. Keeping
a hand on Jarab's shoulder, he turned to face his lover.

'Lord Elrond,' he said formally, suddenly taken back to that day many
months ago in Elrond's study when he had felt just as apprehensive.
So much had happened since then. 'I hope you have had a pleasant
journey.'

'Prince Legolas,' Elrond replied in greeting, nodding his head. 'The
journey was not without incident, for there are still orcs roaming
the lands, but we were well prepared.' His eyes flicked quickly to
Jarab. 'Your son is a fine fighter.' Legolas was well aware of the
trace of irony in Elrond's voice. He turned back to Jarab.

'You know, don't you?' he said quietly. Jarab nodded his head.

'Mother...Alemi...told me the truth after she received your letter.
After that I travelled to Rivendell...and resided there until we set
out for Gondor.'

Legolas knew his son was leaving much unsaid, but saw that this was
not the time for details.

'Perhaps you should show Lord Elrond to his chambers,' came a gruff
voice from low down. 'I will look after Prince Jarab for you.'
Legolas looked at Gimli in both surprise and gladness for the
opportunity to speak to Elrond alone.

'Thank you very much, Gimli,' Legolas replied with a smile. 'Jarab,
this is my very good friend Gimli, son of Gloin. He will show you to
your quarters and perhaps give you a tour of the city.'

If Jarab felt any surprise at being left in the hands of a dwarf, he
did not show it. He smiled graciously at Gimli. 'It is a pleasure
to meet you. I have heard many tales of your valour.'

Gimli nodded, taking an instant liking to the elf who was so much
like his father. Side by side they headed off, chatting animatedly.

Silence fell as Elrond and Legolas watched the figures disappear into
a building.

'If you would care to follow me,' Legolas finally said, his eyes
fixed firmly away from his lover's.

Wordlessly, Elrond followed the blond elf, unable to help himself
from admiring the graceful walk of his love. He was slightly
surprised to see Legolas wearing the free flowing robes that he
himself usually wore. He knew the other elf was not fond of them,
preferring the utility of tunics and leggings. He assumed that
Legolas must have decided the occasion demanded more formality than
his usual attire.

All too soon, they reached the rooms that had been assigned to the
Lord of Imladris. Legolas, shutting the door behind him, leaned on
it, and studied the older elf.

'So how much do you know?' asked Legolas quietly.

Grey orbs looked at him, the surrounding face becoming hard.

'I have read the letter you sent your wife. I know that when you
left me you were carrying my son,' he said coolly. 'I know that you
kept him a secret from me for two hundred years. A fact which I find
unforgivable.'

'I didn't know I was with child when I left,' Legolas said
desperately. 'I only found out after I had married Alemi and it was
too late.'

'You should still have told me!' Elrond replied angrily. 'I had a
right to know.'

'I could not,' he said in despair. 'It would have been dishonourable
to Alemi to admit such a thing. Besides, I did not wish to cause you
more pain by knowing you had a son that my father would never allow
you to see.'

'Why did you do it?' Elrond asked almost softly, the pain obvious in
his voice. The question that had haunted him, yet he had never dared
to ask, was finally wrenched from him. 'Why did you leave me and
marry her?'
Legolas shook his head, closing his eyes.

'I was grieving for my brother...we both were. My father made us
believe it was the right thing to do. Of course it wasn't,' he said
bitterly. 'He manipulated us, and for that I will never forgive him.'

'And what are your plans now? Will you return to Mirkwood?'

'I will never reside in Mirkwood again.' Legolas said firmly. He
looked at Elrond inscrutably. 'As for the rest of my plans...they
depend on you.'

'In what way?' asked the elven lord, suddenly dry-mouthed.

'You said you read the letter I wrote to Alemi and so you know my
marriage is over. What I need to know is do you still care for me?'

Elrond's heart fluttered at the words and the faint plea he heard
within them. It would be so easy to just say yes, but...

'I fear that too much history lies between us for our relationship to
work,' he said sorrowfully. He walked over to the window, unable to
look his love in the face. 'I fear I would not be able to forgive
you for keeping my son fre foe for all these years.'

'You did not answer my question,' Legolas said, his voice steady,
though his heart felt like it would break. 'I asked if you still
care for me. You know I still love you.'

'Of course I still care for you,' the dark haired lord said
raggedly. 'I have *never* stopped loving you. But it changes
nothing. We were obviously not meant to be. Surely all the
obstacles that have been in our path have taught you that?'

'I don't see it that way,' Legolas said quietly. 'I see it that
despite all the obstacles and separations, we still love each other.
Surely love that can survive so much is worth fighting for?'

'I do not know,' murmured Elrond, for once at a loss. He was
startled when he felt a hand on his arm. He had not even heard the
younger elf cross the room. He turned to look at Legolas, whose
lovely face seemed full of hope. 'This quest has changed you,' he
observed. 'Before you would never have opened your heart as you have
now.'

'I have faced death too many times in these past months and my one
regret was not telling you how I felt when I had the chance,' Legolas
replied. His eyes took on a faraway look as he remembered horrors
past.

Elrond, not wishing to watch Legolas relive those experiences, did
the only thing he could think of to bring him back to the present.
He kissed him.

Suddenly there was no more need for words as their lips met in a
hungry kiss. Elrond wrapped his arms around Legolas, pulling him
close and delighting in feeling the slim body against him...and yet
there was something wrong. Breathlessly he pulled away a little.

'I do believe you've put on weight!' he said teasingly. What he did
not expect was the reaction he received from Legolas, who went white
and pulled away from his lover. Elrond looked at him in dismay at
what he thought was from the inappropriateness of his words. 'Do not
fret,' he said. 'It was merely an observation. You have always been
too thin anyway.'

'No, I am not offended,' Legolas said quickly. 'There is something I
need to tell you. It is true I have put on weight, but it is not
what you think. You see, the night we spent together before I left
with the Fellowship was not without consequences.' Elrond stared at
him as what Legolas was saying, sunk in.

'You mean...you're with child again? *My* child?' asked Elrond in
disbelief. Legolas slowly inclined his head.

'In about six months we will have a daughter,' he said softly, gazing
deeply into the other's eyes, awaiting his reaction and hoping it
would be a positive one.

Slowly, Elrond brought a tentative hand up. Seeing his intention,
Legolas quickly took his hand and guided it to his abdomen. Now,
Elrond could clearly feel the rounded swelling and knew it was true.

'When did you find out?' he asked numbly.

'Galadriel told me when we came to Lothlorien. She assures me it is
a girl.' Legolas waited apprehensively for Elrond to realise that he
had carried on with the quest even after he had found out his
condition. He did not have to wait long...

Elrond said nothing for a moment, but then darkness clouded his face
as the realisation hit him. His hand dropped limply to his side.

'You knew before Helms Deep,' he said accusingly. 'Yet you still
carried on and risked the life of our child.'

'It was not a decision I made lightly,' Legolas replied
tightly. 'But my first duty was to Frodo and the Fellowship.'

Elrond suddenly felt very tired. 'I thought you had changed, but
once again everything was more important than us.' he said
sorrowfully. 'You could have died and once again would have deprived
me of seeing another child grow up...and in the cruellest way
possible.'

'But it never happened,' Legolas replied stubbornly. 'We both
survived. You should be happy, not agonising over what might have
been! Don't you see? We have been given a second chance. We can
bring up this child together.'

Elrond looked at the pleading face on his lover.

'Then you will sail to Valinor with me?' he asked.

Legolas looked puzzled. 'I-I do not understand,' he said finally.

Elrond sighed and shook his head. 'Many years ago I foresaw that
with the end of the one ring would also come the end of my own time
in Middle-Earth. Ttimetime has now arrived and the call of the sea
is almost overwhelming.' He looked with pity at the stunned face of
his lover.

'I too have heard the call of the sea,' Legolas confessed. 'But I
fought against it, as I did not wish to leave yet. There is still so
much in Middle-Earth that I wish to see. Before this quest I had led
a fairly insular life and it is only now I realise how much I have
missed out on.'

'I take it that is a no then,' the noble lord replied sadly, yet with
little surprise. He knew his own sons felt the same way and had
expected little else from Legolas, who was much younger than them.

'When will you go?' asked Legolas apprehensively, straining to keep
the overwhelming sadness from showing in his face.

'There is much to tie up before I can leave with a free conscience,'
he admitted. 'It will be a year or two at least.'

'Then at least we have that,' Legolas replied quietly. 'That is if
you would wish to spend the time you have left in Middle-Earth, with
me.'

'You would accept that?' Elrond asked in surprise and
disbelief. 'You would accept that I must leave soon and still stay
with me until then?'

'I would rather spend a year or two with you than an eternity without
you,' the golden haired elf said passionately. 'Don't forget, I will
sail for Valinor one day - probably after Aragorn passes - and
perhaps then we could be finally be together forever.'

'I would like that,' Elrond said almost brokenly. All his fears and
anger left him. They were elves and had until the en the the world
to be together. What was another hundred years of separation
compared to that? However, until they were separated, he vowed to
make the best of the time they had together. Suddenly his thoughts
were interrupted by a sudden wince on his love's face. 'What's the
matter?' he asked urgently.

'It's nothing,' replied Legolas with a small smile on his face and
rubbing a hand across his stomach. 'It is just our daughter
reminding me she is there.'

Elrond looked at him, thunderstruck. 'May I feel?' he asked softly.
Legolas smiled and once again pressed the lord's hand to his
stomach. He felt a gentle tapping under his palm.

'Did you feel that?' asked Legolas anxious
\
'Yes, I felt it,' Elrond replied softly. 'I felt our daughter.'
Despite having been there throughout Celebrian's two pregnancies,
this felt completely different. He didn't know if it was because she
was conceived in love rather than duty, or whether it was because he
loved Legolas so much. Not that it really mattered.

Legolas gently wiped away a tear that had formed at the corner of his
lover's eye. 'Do not cry, melamin,' he whispered.

Elrond smiled and pulled Legolas into a warm embrace. 'I cannot help
it,' he admitted softly. 'I am delighted that we have a second
chance at happiness and yet sad that we must endure another long
separation.'

'Do not dwell on that now,' chided Legolas. 'We have at least a year
before you must go. Let us enjoy the present whilst we can.'

'I will try,' Elrond promised.

For a long time, they stood there without words. Just enjoying the
feeling of being together with no barrier of lies or distrust between
them. Eventually - and reluctantly - Elrond pulled away from his
lover as a thought crossed his mind. 'Have you seen any healers
recently about your condition?' he asked. As he expected, Legolas
shook his head.

'Until you and your party arrived I was the only elf here. I did not
think it would be wise to see a human healer as they are enough in
awe of us already without being presented with the news that a male
elf could carry a baby.'

'Then may I examine you?'

'Of course,' Legolas replied. After all Elrond was a skilled and
powerful healer, and though he had never seen a male nancnancy
before, it did not vary that much from females. Elrond took his hand
and led him over to the bed, gesturing for Legolas to lie down.
Trying to remain as clinical as possible, he undid the fastenings
until the firm swell of his lover's stomach was revealed. Gently he
probed and prodded and asked questions until he was satisfied that
everything was fine. He shook his head in self-disgus his his
attention was caught by the scar that had been left by the birth of
their son.

'I'm supposed to be a great healer and yet I didn't realise what this
was!' he commented.

'You had no reason to suspect,' Legolas replied. He closed his eyes
in pain brought by fleeting memories. 'I wish you could have been
there. I wish you could have seen Jarab grow up.'

'So do I,' Elrond replied. 'But you've done a fine job with him.
He's grown up into a fine elf...one I'm proud to call my son.'

'Thank you,' Legolas said sincerely, his eyes bright. 'That means
more to me than you could imagine.'

As Elrond stepped back from his examination, there was an awkward
silence. No longer patient and healer, they were now confronted with
the situation that Legolas was lying half-naked on Elrond's bed and
neither sure what the other one wanted. Finally Legolas broke the
silence.

'Is it safe to make love?' he asked, stg stg straight into his
lover's eyes and refusing to be embarrassed.

'It should be,' responded Elrond, his pulse starting to race at the
invitation in those blue eyes.

Legolas held out a hand. 'Then come and be with me,' he said
softly. 'It's been too long since I have felt your touch.'

Without taking his eyes off the elf on his bed, he slowly removed his
clothed and lay down next to his lover, helping him to remove the
rest of his.

Their lovemaking was slow and passionate. Legolas lay spooned up
against his lover's chest, his lover moving gently deep within him,
one hand wrapped possessively around his stomach and the other
stroking his lover's arousal in time with his thrusts. They climaxed
together, and as Elrond slipped out of his lover's body, they both
fell quickly into a light sleep. Finally there were no more lies and
deceptions between them, only their love.

TBC