Seeing With The Heart

Title: Seeing With the Heart (7/7)
Author: Aglarien
Type: FPS
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.
Warnings: AU.
Beta: phyncke
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.


We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).


Chapter 7

In the morning, the newly married couple breakfasted in bed. Glorfindel delighted in feeding Erestor, and the counselor took great pleasure in the thoughtful attention. After a shared bath, Elrond visited, sitting with them for a while, and the three spoke of the results of the visit to the Havens.

Elrond was aware of the changed nature of their relationship, as anyone would be who saw them, but he chose to say nothing, leaving it to Glorfindel and Erestor to announce it when they willed. Although it was normal for Elves to go through a public betrothal, followed by a wedding a year later, it was not unusual for those whose families no longer dwelt on Arda to bypass these customs. Given the centuries that the two had been close friends, their actions did not surprise the Lord of Imladris in the least, and he was most pleased with the development. If they continued to say nothing, he would offer them quiet congratulations at their welcoming feast to be held the following evening.

After Elrond left, Erestor, with Glorfindel at his side, explored the halls and familiar rooms of the house in the quiet of the mid-morning, his walking stick tap-tap-tapping the way from the library to the kitchens. Not a room of his normal domain was left uninvestigated. So happy was he to be home again that he even ventured up and down a few stairs and dragged Glorfindel to the stables to visit the horses. Lunch was in the kitchens, where Glorfindel explained to the cooks how best to serve Erestor his food. As expected, they took Erestor under their wing even more than before, and plied the counselor with the best delicacies Imladris had to offer, as if he was undernourished and underfed.

Escaping from the kitchens, they explored the gardens, where Erestor finally tired. Finding a secluded, shady grove near a soothing waterfall, they lay beneath a tree where Erestor immediately fell asleep, his head upon Glorfindel’s lap. It was perhaps an hour later when Glorfindel looked up from gently stroking the dark hair and smiled at the two approaching Elves.

“Is he asleep?” Melpomaen whispered, dropping silently to the ground next to Erestor.

Glorfindel nodded as Lindir gracefully seated himself next to Erestor’s assistant. “He still tires easily and needs to rest in the middle of the day,” the captain whispered. “When he returns to work you must watch out for him and make him rest, Mel.”

Melpomaen nodded. “I will. We both will,” he said, his eyes taking in Lindir.

Lindir smiled at Glorfindel, his eyes sparkling with delight. From the look in Glorfindel’s eyes, it was evident that the captain and chief counselor had finally bonded. “Elrond thought it would be best for Erestor’s second assistant to be someone he knows and is comfortable with, so he chose me for the position. I am honored, although I hope the need is only temporary.”

“That will please him,” Glorfindel said softly. “I am glad it is you.”

“What will please me?” Erestor asked, moving his head to a more comfortable spot on Glorfindel’s lap.

“You should still be sleeping,” Glorfindel said.

“You were talking too loud,” Erestor answered. “Who is here with us? And what will please me?”

“Mel and Lindir are here,” Glorfindel said. “Lindir is to be your second assistant.”

Erestor sat bolt upright, reaching his hands out to feel the other elves. “You are right. It does please me,” he said with a smile. “You do not mind, Lindir?” He had managed to find and hold one of Mel’s hands and one of Lindir’s, knowing which was whose because of the calluses on the tips of the harper’s fingers. “It will keep you from spending as much time with your music.”

“I will still have the evenings for my music, Erestor. I do not mind – I am happy to help you,” Lindir replied.

“Do you need to return to the house soon?” Glorfindel asked the two younger Elves.

“No, we thought we could sit with Erestor if there was anything you needed to do,” Melpomaen answered. “That is, if he is willing.”

“Would you mind if they stayed with you while I took care of something, love?” Glorfindel asked Erestor. “I will not be gone long.”

Erestor would have liked to tell Glorfindel that he really did mind and didn’t want him to leave, but he knew he could not keep his mate at his side forever. They both had duties to perform. “I do not mind staying with them,” he said, releasing Mel and Lindir’s hands to wrap his arms around his mate. “Hurry back.”

“I will,” Glorfindel whispered before placing a soft kiss on Erestor’s lips. “Take care of him for me,” he said, looking at Mel and Lindir. “Erestor should still rest, but do not leave him alone.”

“You can trust him to us,” Lindir said. “We won’t let anything happen to him.”

“Don’t fuss,” Erestor told his mate quietly, cupping Glorfindel’s face with his hand. “The sooner you leave, the sooner you will return. I will stay right here and wait for you.”

Glorfindel moved his head to kiss Erestor’s fingers, and then rose and took his leave.

The minute Glorfindel was out of earshot, Melpomaen practically bounced. “You are bound!” he exclaimed excitedly. “The two of you finally admitted you love each other!”

Erestor chuckled. “My blindness did that, at least,” he said. “I never knew such happiness existed,” he said dreamily. “Glorfindel is so…so…”

“Wonderful?” Lindir said with a grin. “Kind? Considerate? Perfect for you?”

“All of that and more,” Erestor said, leaning back against the tree.

“Lie down and rest your head on my lap, Erestor,” Melpomaen said, guiding his superior into a comfortable position. “Glorfindel said you should rest and we can still talk this way.”

“Thank you, my friend,” Erestor said, making himself comfortable. “You are much softer than the tree, if not as cozy as Glorfindel. Now, tell me what’s been going on in my office and around the house since I’ve been gone.” Erestor suspected that Elrond had chosen Lindir as his second assistant for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the fact it would put him in the nearly constant company of Melpomaen. He and Glorfindel were not the only stubborn Elves in the valley, and many thought that the minstrel and Erestor’s assistant should have dealt with their hidden feelings for each other long ago. He would just see if he couldn’t further their relationship a bit more while they were working together for him.

"Does it bother you to wear those bandages over your eyes?" Melpomaen suddenly asked.

"They are a bit annoying," Erestor said, "but I am getting used to them."

The three Elves spent the next hour chatting amicably about the happenings of the house and making plans for how they would work together.

When Glorfindel returned, it was to find Erestor once again asleep and Mel and Lindir talking quietly. After thanking the two younger Elves for staying with Erestor and carefully moving his mate's head to his lap without waking him, Glorfindel settled down to watch over the sleeping Elf.

Erestor woke in the late afternoon and they returned to their rooms with enough time to begin a game of chess before dinner arrived. Erestor having to keep the image of the board in his head did nothing to lessen his skill and, as usual, he was thoroughly defeating Glorfindel. After dinner they resumed the chess match for a short while, before abandoning it for bed and heartfelt lovemaking.

The next morning brought a repeat of the previous day's activities, although Glorfindel's trusting of Erestor to Mel and Lindir's care was for a much shorter period of time.

"You were not gone for long," Erestor said when the younger Elves had left and they sat alone beneath a large tree in the cool grove. "Was everything all right in the barracks?"

"I did not go to the barracks," Glorfindel responded.

"You did not?" Erestor said, surprised. "I thought you would be checking on your men."

"I checked in on them yesterday and if there was anything wrong my second would have found me," the captain said. "No, I was doing something much more important."

Erestor could hear a bit of excitement and a gentle tease in Glorfindel's voice. "What?" he said, easily falling for the bait.

There was the sound of fabric rustling. "This," Glorfindel said, taking one of Erestor's hands and placing a small pouch in it. "Open it."

Erestor felt the pouch, opened it, and poured the contents out onto his palm, knowing what they were. A smile spread across his handsome face. "Rings," he whispered.

"Yes," Glorfindel answered, pulling Erestor's back against his chest and enfolding the slighter Elf in his arms. "I want everyone to know that you are mine." Taking the smaller of the two rings, he slipped it onto Erestor's ring finger saying, "They are of purest gold, and engraved inside of each are the words, 'There is no darkness where there is love.'"

"There is no darkness where there is love," Erestor whispered softly. He moved his fingers over Glorfindel's hands to locate the correct finger and slipped the second ring onto it. "It is true," he whispered. "There is no darkness in my life as long as I have you. You are my love and my light."

"As you are mine, my heart," Glorfindel answered, lifting Erestor's chin with his fingers to capture his mate's soft mouth in a passionate kiss. When he was forced to lift his lips from Erestor's for breath, he said softly, "It is time for us to think about getting dressed for the feast tonight."

"Must we go?" Erestor asked, dreading having to make an appearance. "I hate the thought of trying to eat in front of everyone and stumbling around with everyone feeling sorry for me."

"My love," Glorfindel said firmly, "you have yet to stumble around anything, and you eat very well. There will be no pity. I will be beside you every second, I promise you."

"I suppose we have no choice. It is the feast to welcome us home after all."

"No, we really do not have a choice," Glorfindel answered, helping Erestor rise.

Two hours later, they appeared at the doors to the dining hall, dressed in their finest robes. No circlet graced Erestor’s brow; he had refused to wear it along with the black bandages over his eyes. But the bandages did not detract from how elegantly he wore his exquisite burgundy and gold robes, or how regal Glorfindel appeared beside him in blue and gold.

“Are you ready, love?” Glorfindel asked as they stopped before the closed doors.

“No. But I suppose that does that matter. There is nothing that will make me more ready, so let us go in,” Erestor replied, his walking stick firmly in one hand and the other holding Glorfindel’s hand tightly instead of lightly resting on the captain’s arm.

Glorfindel opened the doors – and then stopped. Cheers and applause broke out, and the captain’s shoulder’s shook in silent mirth for a moment before his hearty laughter rang out.

“What is it?” Erestor whispered pleadingly.

“Erestor, my love,” Glorfindel managed to gasp out in between his guffaws, “every single Elf is wearing a black bandage with little holes cut in it for his or her eyes!” He laughed anew as he looked out at the sea of black-masked faces. “Even the little twins!”

Elrond approached holding a black scarf in his hand. “May I?” he asked, motioning to Glorfindel.

“With pleasure,” the golden-haired Elf responded, allowing Elrond to tie the bandage over his eyes and adjusting the slits to see. Glorfindel took Erestor’s hands and raised them to his face to feel the bandage. “And now I have one too.”

Erestor smiled and visibly relaxed. “How very kind they all are,” he said quietly.

“Indeed,” Glorfindel said, leading his mate to their places.

“Are those wedding rings I note on your finger and Glorfindel’s, Erestor?” Elrond asked, happy to see his chief counselor made more comfortable by their gesture of the masks. He would have to be sure and thank Mel and Lindir again for thinking of it.

“They are,” Erestor replied softly.

“Then our reason to celebrate is doubled,” Elrond said. His thoughts of how to break the news to everyone that the two most sought-after Elves in the realm were no longer available came to naught; Glorfindel simply held up his hands to silence the room and proudly proclaimed to one and all that he and Erestor had wed. So much for diplomacy, Elrond thought, grinning at the loud cheers and applause.

The days passed and Erestor returned to work in his office. As predicted, the servants, seeming to feel that Melpomaen and Lindir were incapable of seeing to the counselor’s needs, peeked in every five or ten minutes – or each time they passed – to ask if Master Erestor needed anything, or if they could do anything for him, or fetch something or someone for him. Erestor was nearly driven to distraction by the interruptions until Lindir hung a schedule on the door for the servants to write their names in each of the spaces for predetermined visits - one visit every two hours only. After some minor scuffling about who got to check on the counselor more often, it worked out very well. The cooks took advantage of the schedule, making it known that the servants were to pick up fresh tea and delicacies for “dear Master Erestor” and deliver them each time they checked on the counselor’s needs.

Eventually Erestor’s need for rest lessened, and his old strength returned. Melpomaen and Lindir read letters and contracts to him, and Erestor dictated replies and agreements, which the two younger Elves dutifully wrote in their fine scripts. Erestor was careful to keep the two working closely together, hoping to foster their relationship. The abundant fare from the kitchens did not go unconsumed; the three Elves polished off copious amounts of tea to soothe throats overused from reading and speaking, and Melpomaen and Lindir seemed to take refuge in the food from desires heightened by constant closeness to each other.

Glorfindel returned to his duties as captain, but made certain to forego any extended patrols, returning each night to Erestor’s arms. He had promised Erestor he would be with him in the dark, and to that promise he held fast.

The weeks passed with no improvement in Erestor’s vision, and all had resigned themselves to his continued blindness, although Elrond still insisted he wear the bandages.

The heat of the late summer was stifling, and Erestor stopped speaking and rose from his desk to face the open window. He slipped the bandages off of his eyes, hoping to feel a breeze on his overheated face, and his eyes involuntarily opened. “Mel, go and get Elrond,” he said breathlessly, forgetting the need for air. “Run!”

Melpomaen ran.

“Erestor?” Lindir said questioningly. “What is it? What is wrong?”

Erestor shook his head and finally said with some measure of calmness, “Lindir, will you see if you can find Glorfindel please? He will be in the barracks or on the training field.”

“I should not leave you alone,” Lindir protested.

“Mel and Elrond will be here any second,” Erestor said. “Go – please. Get Glorfindel for me.”

At that moment, Mel and Elrond arrived and Lindir hurried off to find the find the captain.

“What has happened, Erestor?” Elrond said, bearing down on Erestor, his voice concerned.

“Nothing is wrong,” Erestor said, finally remembering to breathe deeply. “I can see light. And shadow. I can see your shape.”

Elrond exclaimed joyously and was subjecting Erestor to a series of tests when Glorfindel burst into the room with Lindir. Upon being told the news, he pulled Erestor into his arms and buried his face in the dark mane, too overcome for words.

Melpomaen was so overwhelmed with the news that he threw his arms around Lindir and kissed him passionately - an action that the musician did not seem to mind at all, and indeed, most heartily returned.

It was a week after Erestor first saw light and shadow that Glorfindel awoke to find sparkling, clear, grey eyes looking down at him.

“Your eyes are the blue of an evening summer sky, twinkling with stars,” Erestor whispered. “Your hair is more golden than the ripest summer corn in the fields. Your light shines, white and pure. You are beautiful.”

“You can see!” Glorfindel exclaimed, pulling Erestor into his arms. Inexplicably there were tears in his blue eyes that needed to be blinked away.

“I can see,” Erestor replied as he was buried in an embrace, “but never have I seen more clearly than in my blindness with you, the light in my darkness. Your love for me was always there, giving me hope and strength. I love you, Glorfindel. I will always love you.”

“You were seeing with your heart, beloved,” Glorfindel answered softly. “Blind or sighted – I love you, Erestor. And I always will. Heart of my heart, soul of my soul, my beautiful, beautiful Erestor.”

Erestor rested his head on his husband’s chest, listening to the cadenced beating of Glorfindel’s heart, the softness of his measured breaths. He was loved. In spite of himself, because of himself. He was loved. And he always would be.

~the end.