Lord Of The Rings Parody

Sam: ( while he gardens has a head set on and his humming along to the Pirates of The Caribbean sound track and sometimes he would make hand movement like he was directing a band or orchestra his curly hair flying to the beat as his head would also get into it)

Legolas: That will be fun to show at the Fellowship Christmas Party ( snickers) He has no idea that I just taped that ( laughs to himself again) SO Years and Years and Years have gone by! But actually it was only in the span of 15 minutes and Frodo and Sam both look the same. Even if it has been 9 years Pippin is coming along with them they are going to go on foot. Frodo has given Sam most the luggage cause Frodo is weak and he figures that’s what a servant is for. Pippin made Sam give Frodo half the load seeing Frodo’s little game...................

Frodo: I pity snails and all that carry there homes on there backs.

Pippin: You’ll get over it come on I wanna hurry up so I can see Merry again I don’t like being left alone with the two of you and your Obsession with the POTC.

Frodo: That’s not My Obsession that’s Sam’s.

Sam: Hey it’s a good story alright! ( He begins to sing) YO Ho Yo Ho a Pirates LIFE For me. ( He sings on Pippin and Frodo let him finishes singing it once) Drink UP Me Hearties YO HO! ( Sam skips along down the lane then starts up again)

Frodo: Sam that’s enough!

Sam: Ok Mr. Frodo no need to get snippy.

Pippin: (whispers to Sam) RMS Sam don’t worry he’s just upset cause of the R-I-N-G.

Frodo: wow I didn’t know you could spell Pippin ( he slaps Him in the back of the head) and Just cause I’m in a bad mood doesn’t mean I have RMS!(Ring Madness Syndrome)

Pippin: Ouch ok no need to hit me!

Frodo: No need to try and talk about me behind my back I have really good hearing (So they go on traveling and stopping a lot of the time eating and resting and one point Sam had his music up to loud and attracted the attention of the Black Riders and they had to hide behind some trees they finally came to Buckland) Oh No ( Frodo says looking around at the corn) I know this field. It’s the field of That Maggot Farmer Maggot.

Pippin: Oh come now Farmer Maggot is a nice enough guy if he doesn’t catch you in his mushrooms.

Frodo: That’s just it he did and beat me to a bloody mess and would have fed me to his Dogs if My Uncle Saradoc wouldn’t have come along so I’m really fearful of him.

Sam: Oh if I meet this Maggot I’ll bloody his world up no one beats my master not even when he was a 5 year old!

Pippin: Well lets get on to the lane so at lest we aren’t trespassing and Sam Frodo just let me do any talking if there needs to be any with the Old Farmer. ( So they all walk to the path wolf like dogs come charging out paying no mind to Pippin or Sam but growling and snarling at Frodo how stood there shaking) Sam: BACK! ( Sam shouted at the dogs who with there tails between there Legs went back into the fence and Farmer Maggot came out)

FM: WHO YOU BEE AND WHAT YOU WANT! ( he shouts coming out with a huge wolf dog on a thick chain)

Pippin: Hey Farmer Maggot its Me Pippin Took a friend and Kin to Merry Brandybuck.

FM: Oh I thought you looked for miller how you be!

Pippin: all right these are my friends Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins.

FM: Oh Mr. Baggins I remember you well I beat you so bad ( he laughs the dog snaps at him this angers Sam he refrains himself from doing anything he might regret) To Bad you had to move to Hobbiton with those Queers! You might be a stronger Lad if you’d stay here. (That dose it Sam couldn’t take it anymore)

Sam: YOU Bitter OLD HOBBIT I live In Hobbiton and So dose Mr. Frodo and we aren’t queers!

FM: Then why do you walks like one ( He goes on laughing Sam’s eye twitches and he leaps on Farmer Maggot His Wolf like dog is scared of Sam so he stays away and Sam beats up the old Hobbit or as long as he can tell Pippin and Frodo have to pull him off)

Pippin: Sorry we will get him anger management classes! ( He calls as they drag Sam away down the road)

Frodo: Wow I never knew you to be so tough Sam.

Sam: Well it’s a Dog Eat Dog world out there Mr. Frodo and you can’t let the smaller Dogs bark at you and try and scare you, you have to get them before they get you, As my Gaffer use to say .Also if you’re the small dog get the big Dog before they gets you if you take my meaning.

Frodo: Indeed I do. (They come to the Fairy and Meet Merry and Pippin is very happy about that Merry and Pippin dance around for awhile and Sam and Frodo have a smoke) Ok lets get a crossed the river I’m getting tired and I at lest want to sleep in a nice bed one last time all right?

Merry: Sounds good to me ( so they get a crossed the river they did have a scare though when Pippin almost tipped the raft over and none of them could swim but Merry and he got another whack in the head by each in there own turn)

Pippin: Sorry I was trying to save the Moon! He was stuck in the water. I hope he doesn’t drowned.

Merry: That won’t happen Pippin the moon can breath under water.

Pippin: Are you sure?

Merry: As sure as I know your Pippin.

Pippin: how do you know I am Pippin?

Merry: Cause of the sent you give off I have known it ever since you where born plus no one has your face (ruffles his curly hair)

Pippin: Is that good or bad?

Merry: Oh That’s a good thing Pip. (So they came to Crickhallow and had a bath together a community Bath too and Pippin sang them all a song he did have a rather good voice)

Pippin: Sing Hey for the Bath at close of Day that washes the weary MUD away! A Loon is he who will not sing when Waters Hot that smokes and Steams!( He sings it on and on oh how lovely) Then Splashing Hot water With My Feet! ( He ends and starts splashing water everywhere with his feet and laughing)

Merry: STOP IT your cleaning up that Mess! ( Merry gets out and dries off)

Frodo: I actually needed a shower too though thanks Pippin Sam can you get behind my back for me please? Sam: Sure Mr. Frodo.

Pippin: Its fun to bath with friends they can reach places you can’t! Merry can you……

Merry: No sorry Pippin your on your own with that I’m going to start dinner or super more like it ( This whole time they did this unaware that Black Riders where looking for them but The Hobbits had totally forgotten because that’s how they are! So they blissfully enjoyed there time at Crickhollow like it was some big sleep over or some Big Party they did eat and eat and eat until they were happy and full then sat around in a circle smoking there pipes and laughing and talking. Then Merry and Pippin came out with it)

Pippin: Frodo we are going with you on your journey because we are bored of the Shire and we like you and want to help you.

Frodo: How did you know I was going somewhere?

Merry: Sam told us. Frodo: way to keep it secret!

Sam: I only told Merry and Pippin and that one hobbit guy at the super market I made up for it by saying Onion Golden Rings I meant haha ( he laughs sheepishly)

Frodo: ( roles his eyes) well thank you guys I could use more company its scary out there in the big world it’s a big world and I don’t know where I’m going and I might as well be lost with my best friends then with out them so you both know this will be hard and dangers?

Pippin: I walk on the wild side I laugh in the face of Danger ha haha! (Simba: Don’t steal my lines PIPPIN!) Sorry but how do you know you didn’t steal my lines since I’m about 50 years older (Simba: Hmm I don’t, good question go on then) actually Middle Earth was way Before Africa!? It was in the 1st age of the earth!

Merry: Actually Pippin and I invented danger so don’t worry about it Frodo we will be just fine. Frodo: Ok but what about Sam and me will we be ok?

Merry: Yeah sure don’t worry about it. (So Frodo stopped worrying and they went to bed and had a lovely sleep and then set out early the next day leaving this Fat Hobbit guy behind to pose as Frodo they squeezed him into some of Frodo’s clothes which was amazing cause The Guy was so Fat. They even called him Fatty. He waved them off and they road on pony and came out of Buckland throw a secret way)

Merry: This is our Family’s secret way so we could sneak out of The Shire when ever we wanted and not be seen by any noise Hobbits who have nothing better to do then poke around in our affairs we come out into the old forest to have bon fires its really fun huh Pippin?

Pippin: Yeah except that time I thought I was going to get eaten by the trees when I got lost! Its ok by the bon fire but other then that I don’t like the place.

Merry: Yeah cause the trees whisper and talk to each other even move around. Sam: Are you guys trying to scare us or what here?

Frodo: yeah they probably are Sam don’t listen to them its ok. (Frodo himself was a bit shaky)

Merry: No the stories are true! Me and Pippin would know wouldn’t we Pippin?

Pippin: Yeah can I ride with you on your pony I’m scared. I think I heard one of the trees say something about eating me up cause I’m so adorable then someone said something about eating the plump one he looks nice and juicy. Sam: I don’t suppose there talking about Mr. Frodo? (Pippin gets on Merry’s pony and clings to him and Pippin’s pony MerryLegs trots on behind them)

Merry: No Sam there not.

Frodo: Since when dose Pippin understand tree?

Merry: He is one with plants! So back off!

Frodo: Since when?

Merry: Since all the time

Sam: then who are they talking about Mr. Pippin?

Pippin: Um you. Sam: (his eyes well up with tears) Are you saying I’m plump?

Pippin: No I’m not the trees are. They have black hearts and are unfeeling for those who walk about on 2 ta 6 legs Sam lad. I don’t think your plump your actually looking kind of trim these days.

Sam’s Pony: (He could lose a few pounds what would he know he isn’t carrying him on his back)

Sam: Thanks Pippin.

Pippin: No problem I wouldn’t lie (actually yes he would he just didn’t want to travel with a crier that could get tiresome exspashly someone upset about there wait) So They traveled on through the old forest tell they got swallowed by old Man willow well he swallowed Merry and Pippin whole when they fell to sleep at his back cause he sung a hypnotizing song. Then Thankfully Old Tom Bumble Bee came along and spanked old Man will with one of his own fingers that he tore of the tree and Old Man Willow got in so much pain that he spit out Merry and Pippin.

Legolas: (Also how can a Tree be a Man?) Anyways Tom Bumble Bee Leads them back to his house and tells them.

Tom Bumble Bee: If you so much as give my water lilies a dirty look I’ll Pop you one so hard you won’t know what hit you. Also if any of you tries to make a move on My Goldbarrie Tom Bombadil will again will do things to you. That you’d wish you were back inside old Man Willow got it and Legolas same goes to you if you call me Bumble Bee On more Time!

(Legolas: Sheesh someone forgot to take there meds) Anyways fallow old Tom he’ll take you in and give you yummy things to eat and drink! ( he hops off singing really load and stomping around like a cow wearing yellow boats and a blue hat. The hobbits do there best to try and keep up with him he was pretty fast for a guy as around as a pumpkin with two stubby legs that he skipped around on like he was a deer.

Frodo: I hope we know what we are getting ourselves into? (he whispers to his friends)

Pippin: I’m scared Merry will you carry me. Merry: Fine (picks Pippin up and carries him to Tom’s house)

Legolas: (Wow 11pm I am going to call it a night I have Class tomorrow and I need my rest So I’ll go on with the Tom story maybe tomorrow if I feel like it.)

Gimli: Never Finishes anything I told you.

Legolas: I will don’t worry it’s a long tail ok! Now good Night! (Walks off into the forest singing. To The Sea to the Sea)