Hidden Love
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-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
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19
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3,543
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
3,543
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 7
Title: Hidden Love (7/19)
Author: Janalynn27
Type: FPS
Pairing: Erestor/Glorfindel
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. No disrespect is intended and no profit is being made.
Beta: Patricia Pleasant aka slayer9649, Thanks a bunch! Any other mistakes are of my making.
Summary: Erestor and Glorfindel love each other but are afraid to let the other know, for fear of rejection.
Timeline: 2610 TA, a hundred years after Celebrían passes into the west. The rest is AU.
Feedback: It is greatly appreciated, this being my first story in Tolkien’s wonderful world of Middle-Earth.
Author's note: When Erestor and Glorfindel are mindspeaking it is accentuated by 'dialogue'.
Chapter 7
It had been two weeks since the honoring ceremony and things were slowly returning to normal. Glorfindel and Erestor went back to their normal routines; working during the day, Glorfindel training and Erestor doing his Chief Adviser duties, then spending the evenings together, often with Lostariel. They most often read to one another, played a game of some sorts, or Lostariel gifted them with a song. Glorfindel no longer came to Erestor in the middle of the night, though he still had an occasional nightmare. He knew that he could not become dependant on Erestor, knowing full well that they were just friends, not mates.
They were sitting with Elrond and Daugion, who had become Glorfindel’s second, having breakfast, just like every morning, when Glorfindel asked, “So when Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen return from Lothlórien, Elrond? I find that I miss the twins’ mischievousness and Arwen’s quiet grace.”
Elrond smiled at his friend’s affection towards his children, “In a few weeks, they are very anxious to return. They were sad to hear of Landion and really wanted to be here. They have asked about you, my friend.”
Smiling a little sadly, “I will be sure to thank them for their concern when they arrive back home. Who is going to escort them back?”
“A guard of Galadhrim will bring them safely home to Imladris,” Elrond said. Secretly, Elrond hoped that Haldir was among them for he had found comfort in his quiet company when Celebrían had sailed to Aman.
“I wonder if Legolas will come for a visit. Is he not visiting Lothlórien?,” Erestor asked hopefully which made Glorfindel look at him, ‘Did he just hear yearning in Erestor’s voice?’
Elrond chuckled, “You just want a rematch at chess. I do believe he won the last time you two played.”
Erestor was known for his skill at chess. None except Elrond and Glorfindel had ever beaten him. Glorfindel thought that it must have had been luck or Erestor had taken pity on him and let him win.
“Humph, he did not play fair; he cheated,” Erestor scowled.
“Cheated, Legolas? I do not believe it,” Glorfindel teased.
“He knew exactly what he was doing. He distracted me, flipping and playing with that golden hair of his,” Erestor said with even bigger scowl.
Glorfindel’s heart sank, ‘Erestor distracted by Legolas’s hair, surely he must be attracted by him then’. Suddenly, he lost his appetite and pushed his plate away.
Elrond noticing Glorfindel’s reaction, thought deeply. He had yet to approach either him or Erestor since they had returned to Imladris, he would need to soon.
Erestor, seeing Glorfindel stop eating, frowned with concern, “Glorfindel, are you all right? You look pale.”
Pasting a smile on his face he said, “I am fine, just a bit tired I suppose. I think I will go to the barracks and check on the warriors, training will start soon.”
“Maybe you should rest if you are tired?” Erestor said.
“I am fine, mellon nín. I may rest after lunch,” he said, then left the dining hall, or more to the point, fled.
Daugion quickly finished his breakfast, took his leave from Elrond and Erestor and followed his captain.
After Daugion left Elrond asked, “Erestor, will you come to my office this afternoon? I have some things I need to discuss with you.”
“Of course, Elrond, is something amiss?” Erestor asked, still concerned over Glorfindel’s hasty departure.
“No, just meet me there. I believe you have some duties to do this morning and I have some missives to read over,” Elrond said as he stood to leave.
“Would you like me to arrange to have lunch brought to your office? We could discuss whatever it is over food?” Erestor asked.
Smiling, “That would be just fine. Until then, have a good morning, mellon nín.”
“And you too, my Lord,” Erestor smiled back.
****************
Erestor closed the book he was transcribing and stretched with a sigh. Normally the tediousness of his job would give him pleasure but lately he was filled with a restlessness he did not want to think on too much for he thought he knew the reason, or more to the point, whom the reason was.
Erestor walked into Elrond’s office just when lunch was being set out. When the servants were gone Erestor sat down with a loud sigh.
Elrond looking to Erestor asked, “How has your day been so far, mellon nín?”
Pouring both of them a glass of juice, “I find I am having an unusually hard time concentrating today, and you, how is your day going?”
“It seems we have more and more refugees coming to Imladris for shelter,” he said, then took a sip of the juice.
Nodding, “Yes, I worry about the increase of violence, the darkness; what do you make of it, mellon nín?”
Elrond got a distant look in his eyes and he was quiet for a few minutes. Finally coming back to himself he said, “I feel these next few centuries are going to be difficult.”
Erestor, not wanting to discuss such dire circumstances during lunch, asked Elrond what he originally wanted to discuss with him.
Elrond had pondered all morning the best way to broach the subject of Glorfindel but had finally decided that a straightforward approach would be best, so without preamble, “Erestor, what are your feelings for Glorfindel?”
Erestor had his arm outstretched intending to grab a finger sandwich when Elrond’s question made him snatch his hand back and stare at his friend as if he had just grown another head, “What do you mean?”
Elrond knew that this was going to be difficult, for if Erestor did have feeling for Glorfindel he was going to be very reluctant to confess them, “You know what I mean. Erestor, mellon nín. I have noticed, with growing concern, your restlessness and I had thought that possibly Glorfindel was the reason.” He did not confess that he was also worried about Glorfindel, actually more so, for he was fairly certain of his feelings towards Erestor.
Erestor looked away in horror, ‘Had his feelings been so transparent? Surely if Elrond had noticed them then Glorfindel had’. Then the thought that if Glorfindel had and had not said anything, then that meant that he did not love him in that way and that filled Erestor with a pain so intense, all he wanted to do was run from this chamber and hide.
Seeing his distress Elrond quickly said, “Erestor, I did not mean to upset you so, I just was worried for you. I am here for you; you are my dear friend.”
Looking back into his eyes, Erestor smiled sadly and said, “What if I did love him? What would it serve me? He does not feel the same, so it does not make any difference.”
“And how do you know that he does not love you, have you asked him?”
Standing up to pace, “I do not need to ask him. Elrond, Glorfindel and I have been friends for so long, not once in all these centuries has he let on that he had any stronger feelings for me than friendship.”
“If you have never told him, why do you think that you can be so certain of his feelings? What if he is just as afraid as you to confess his true feelings?”
Turning quickly to look at him, Erestor asked hopefully, “Has he told you of his feelings?”
Elrond knew that he could not tell Erestor of his suspicions, because that was all they were. He would not give his friend false hope, because if he was wrong about Glorfindel’s feelings he would make things worse, not better.
“No, he and I have not discussed you in that way.”
“Then what is this all about, Elrond? I am not going to risk our friendship and confess my love for him. I refuse to,” Erestor whispered, he hated that it made him sound the coward, but he just could not take Glorfindel’s rejection.
Neither of them heard the footsteps coming down the hall or the fact that those footsteps stopped just outside the door that stood ajar.
Glorfindel had tried all morning to concentrate on his training and had a few bruises to show for his failure. His warriors looked on in shock as their captain was knocked down, for that had never happened before. So he decided, when they broke for lunch, to give them a couple of extra hours of rest and sought out the council of Elrond. He knew that he could not go on this way, and he certainly could not go to his closest friend for council, him being the reason of his predicament. Reaching Elrond’s door, he was about to knock when he heard voices inside. Upon hearing Erestor’s voice, Glorfindel had the intention of turning and walking away, for he did not want to face Erestor just yet, but was pulled up short with what was being said inside.
Erestor was back to pacing, “Elrond, leave this be.”
“Mellon nín, I just worry about you, you must tell him of your love.”
“There is no reason to. My golden elf does not love me; it would be for naught and only cause me more grief,” he said trying to keep the tears at bay.
Elrond stood up and walked to the other side of his desk, “You must tell Glorfindel.”
“Baw! He can never know; it would only hurt him.”
Frowning, “What do you mean hurt him, how would this knowledge hurt him?”
“Elrond, Glorfindel needs my friendship too much. This would make things awkward between us. I cherish his friendship too much to wedge a barrier between us. No, he must never know of my love, it does not matter, the love is not returned. The knowledge would just hurt Glorfindel, and I will not cause him any pain. I will always love my golden elf, but nothing can come of it,” Erestor said with determination.
Glorfindel could not listen to anymore; he quickly turned and stumbled through his tears to his chambers. Making his way to his bed, he threw himself down upon it as his heart tore in two. It was true, his beloved loved another, loved a golden elf, Legolas, who did not return his affection. ‘How could somebody not love Erestor? His dark elf shone like a dark jewel, precious and rare‘. Tears soaked his pillow as he crushed it to his face, trying to muffle the sobs that were being ripped out of him. After what seemed like forever he finally sat up and looked around wildly. He could not stay here, could not face Erestor. Then he remembered that a patrol was due to leave at anytime. Standing up quickly, he put on his armor and threw a few things in a sack, stopped by the kitchen for a few foodstuffs, and just made it to the stables when the patrol was mounting their horses.
At seeing his captain entering the stables Daugion asked, “My Lord Glorfindel, I thought I was leading the patrol out today?”
Walking over to Asfaloth he saddled him and said, “Yes you are, but I have decided to join you. The increase in orc activity on our borders concerns me greatly.”
Daugion watched Glorfindel with worry. His captain had been acting peculiar since breakfast and now he looked so upset. He would need to continue to watch him and he hoped that Glorfindel would come to him; he respected him and did not like the thought of him being so unsettled.
After saddling his horse Glorfindel motioned for a stable Elfling to come to him, “Pen dithen (Little one), would you do me a favor? I need you to take a message to Lord Elrond.”
The Elfling was awed by being asked to help a mighty warrior such as Lord Glorfindel. Nodding enthusiastically he said, “Of course, My Lord, anything you need.”
Ruffling his hair, “Thank you, pen dithen. Would you please tell Lord Elrond that I apologize that I did not have time to tell him that I was leaving. Tell him that I will talk to him the moment that I return with the patrol.”
Once he was sure that the Elfling would remember it all, Glorfindel swung up onto Asfaloth and he and the patrol headed out.
TBC
Author: Janalynn27
Type: FPS
Pairing: Erestor/Glorfindel
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. No disrespect is intended and no profit is being made.
Beta: Patricia Pleasant aka slayer9649, Thanks a bunch! Any other mistakes are of my making.
Summary: Erestor and Glorfindel love each other but are afraid to let the other know, for fear of rejection.
Timeline: 2610 TA, a hundred years after Celebrían passes into the west. The rest is AU.
Feedback: It is greatly appreciated, this being my first story in Tolkien’s wonderful world of Middle-Earth.
Author's note: When Erestor and Glorfindel are mindspeaking it is accentuated by 'dialogue'.
Chapter 7
It had been two weeks since the honoring ceremony and things were slowly returning to normal. Glorfindel and Erestor went back to their normal routines; working during the day, Glorfindel training and Erestor doing his Chief Adviser duties, then spending the evenings together, often with Lostariel. They most often read to one another, played a game of some sorts, or Lostariel gifted them with a song. Glorfindel no longer came to Erestor in the middle of the night, though he still had an occasional nightmare. He knew that he could not become dependant on Erestor, knowing full well that they were just friends, not mates.
They were sitting with Elrond and Daugion, who had become Glorfindel’s second, having breakfast, just like every morning, when Glorfindel asked, “So when Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen return from Lothlórien, Elrond? I find that I miss the twins’ mischievousness and Arwen’s quiet grace.”
Elrond smiled at his friend’s affection towards his children, “In a few weeks, they are very anxious to return. They were sad to hear of Landion and really wanted to be here. They have asked about you, my friend.”
Smiling a little sadly, “I will be sure to thank them for their concern when they arrive back home. Who is going to escort them back?”
“A guard of Galadhrim will bring them safely home to Imladris,” Elrond said. Secretly, Elrond hoped that Haldir was among them for he had found comfort in his quiet company when Celebrían had sailed to Aman.
“I wonder if Legolas will come for a visit. Is he not visiting Lothlórien?,” Erestor asked hopefully which made Glorfindel look at him, ‘Did he just hear yearning in Erestor’s voice?’
Elrond chuckled, “You just want a rematch at chess. I do believe he won the last time you two played.”
Erestor was known for his skill at chess. None except Elrond and Glorfindel had ever beaten him. Glorfindel thought that it must have had been luck or Erestor had taken pity on him and let him win.
“Humph, he did not play fair; he cheated,” Erestor scowled.
“Cheated, Legolas? I do not believe it,” Glorfindel teased.
“He knew exactly what he was doing. He distracted me, flipping and playing with that golden hair of his,” Erestor said with even bigger scowl.
Glorfindel’s heart sank, ‘Erestor distracted by Legolas’s hair, surely he must be attracted by him then’. Suddenly, he lost his appetite and pushed his plate away.
Elrond noticing Glorfindel’s reaction, thought deeply. He had yet to approach either him or Erestor since they had returned to Imladris, he would need to soon.
Erestor, seeing Glorfindel stop eating, frowned with concern, “Glorfindel, are you all right? You look pale.”
Pasting a smile on his face he said, “I am fine, just a bit tired I suppose. I think I will go to the barracks and check on the warriors, training will start soon.”
“Maybe you should rest if you are tired?” Erestor said.
“I am fine, mellon nín. I may rest after lunch,” he said, then left the dining hall, or more to the point, fled.
Daugion quickly finished his breakfast, took his leave from Elrond and Erestor and followed his captain.
After Daugion left Elrond asked, “Erestor, will you come to my office this afternoon? I have some things I need to discuss with you.”
“Of course, Elrond, is something amiss?” Erestor asked, still concerned over Glorfindel’s hasty departure.
“No, just meet me there. I believe you have some duties to do this morning and I have some missives to read over,” Elrond said as he stood to leave.
“Would you like me to arrange to have lunch brought to your office? We could discuss whatever it is over food?” Erestor asked.
Smiling, “That would be just fine. Until then, have a good morning, mellon nín.”
“And you too, my Lord,” Erestor smiled back.
****************
Erestor closed the book he was transcribing and stretched with a sigh. Normally the tediousness of his job would give him pleasure but lately he was filled with a restlessness he did not want to think on too much for he thought he knew the reason, or more to the point, whom the reason was.
Erestor walked into Elrond’s office just when lunch was being set out. When the servants were gone Erestor sat down with a loud sigh.
Elrond looking to Erestor asked, “How has your day been so far, mellon nín?”
Pouring both of them a glass of juice, “I find I am having an unusually hard time concentrating today, and you, how is your day going?”
“It seems we have more and more refugees coming to Imladris for shelter,” he said, then took a sip of the juice.
Nodding, “Yes, I worry about the increase of violence, the darkness; what do you make of it, mellon nín?”
Elrond got a distant look in his eyes and he was quiet for a few minutes. Finally coming back to himself he said, “I feel these next few centuries are going to be difficult.”
Erestor, not wanting to discuss such dire circumstances during lunch, asked Elrond what he originally wanted to discuss with him.
Elrond had pondered all morning the best way to broach the subject of Glorfindel but had finally decided that a straightforward approach would be best, so without preamble, “Erestor, what are your feelings for Glorfindel?”
Erestor had his arm outstretched intending to grab a finger sandwich when Elrond’s question made him snatch his hand back and stare at his friend as if he had just grown another head, “What do you mean?”
Elrond knew that this was going to be difficult, for if Erestor did have feeling for Glorfindel he was going to be very reluctant to confess them, “You know what I mean. Erestor, mellon nín. I have noticed, with growing concern, your restlessness and I had thought that possibly Glorfindel was the reason.” He did not confess that he was also worried about Glorfindel, actually more so, for he was fairly certain of his feelings towards Erestor.
Erestor looked away in horror, ‘Had his feelings been so transparent? Surely if Elrond had noticed them then Glorfindel had’. Then the thought that if Glorfindel had and had not said anything, then that meant that he did not love him in that way and that filled Erestor with a pain so intense, all he wanted to do was run from this chamber and hide.
Seeing his distress Elrond quickly said, “Erestor, I did not mean to upset you so, I just was worried for you. I am here for you; you are my dear friend.”
Looking back into his eyes, Erestor smiled sadly and said, “What if I did love him? What would it serve me? He does not feel the same, so it does not make any difference.”
“And how do you know that he does not love you, have you asked him?”
Standing up to pace, “I do not need to ask him. Elrond, Glorfindel and I have been friends for so long, not once in all these centuries has he let on that he had any stronger feelings for me than friendship.”
“If you have never told him, why do you think that you can be so certain of his feelings? What if he is just as afraid as you to confess his true feelings?”
Turning quickly to look at him, Erestor asked hopefully, “Has he told you of his feelings?”
Elrond knew that he could not tell Erestor of his suspicions, because that was all they were. He would not give his friend false hope, because if he was wrong about Glorfindel’s feelings he would make things worse, not better.
“No, he and I have not discussed you in that way.”
“Then what is this all about, Elrond? I am not going to risk our friendship and confess my love for him. I refuse to,” Erestor whispered, he hated that it made him sound the coward, but he just could not take Glorfindel’s rejection.
Neither of them heard the footsteps coming down the hall or the fact that those footsteps stopped just outside the door that stood ajar.
Glorfindel had tried all morning to concentrate on his training and had a few bruises to show for his failure. His warriors looked on in shock as their captain was knocked down, for that had never happened before. So he decided, when they broke for lunch, to give them a couple of extra hours of rest and sought out the council of Elrond. He knew that he could not go on this way, and he certainly could not go to his closest friend for council, him being the reason of his predicament. Reaching Elrond’s door, he was about to knock when he heard voices inside. Upon hearing Erestor’s voice, Glorfindel had the intention of turning and walking away, for he did not want to face Erestor just yet, but was pulled up short with what was being said inside.
Erestor was back to pacing, “Elrond, leave this be.”
“Mellon nín, I just worry about you, you must tell him of your love.”
“There is no reason to. My golden elf does not love me; it would be for naught and only cause me more grief,” he said trying to keep the tears at bay.
Elrond stood up and walked to the other side of his desk, “You must tell Glorfindel.”
“Baw! He can never know; it would only hurt him.”
Frowning, “What do you mean hurt him, how would this knowledge hurt him?”
“Elrond, Glorfindel needs my friendship too much. This would make things awkward between us. I cherish his friendship too much to wedge a barrier between us. No, he must never know of my love, it does not matter, the love is not returned. The knowledge would just hurt Glorfindel, and I will not cause him any pain. I will always love my golden elf, but nothing can come of it,” Erestor said with determination.
Glorfindel could not listen to anymore; he quickly turned and stumbled through his tears to his chambers. Making his way to his bed, he threw himself down upon it as his heart tore in two. It was true, his beloved loved another, loved a golden elf, Legolas, who did not return his affection. ‘How could somebody not love Erestor? His dark elf shone like a dark jewel, precious and rare‘. Tears soaked his pillow as he crushed it to his face, trying to muffle the sobs that were being ripped out of him. After what seemed like forever he finally sat up and looked around wildly. He could not stay here, could not face Erestor. Then he remembered that a patrol was due to leave at anytime. Standing up quickly, he put on his armor and threw a few things in a sack, stopped by the kitchen for a few foodstuffs, and just made it to the stables when the patrol was mounting their horses.
At seeing his captain entering the stables Daugion asked, “My Lord Glorfindel, I thought I was leading the patrol out today?”
Walking over to Asfaloth he saddled him and said, “Yes you are, but I have decided to join you. The increase in orc activity on our borders concerns me greatly.”
Daugion watched Glorfindel with worry. His captain had been acting peculiar since breakfast and now he looked so upset. He would need to continue to watch him and he hoped that Glorfindel would come to him; he respected him and did not like the thought of him being so unsettled.
After saddling his horse Glorfindel motioned for a stable Elfling to come to him, “Pen dithen (Little one), would you do me a favor? I need you to take a message to Lord Elrond.”
The Elfling was awed by being asked to help a mighty warrior such as Lord Glorfindel. Nodding enthusiastically he said, “Of course, My Lord, anything you need.”
Ruffling his hair, “Thank you, pen dithen. Would you please tell Lord Elrond that I apologize that I did not have time to tell him that I was leaving. Tell him that I will talk to him the moment that I return with the patrol.”
Once he was sure that the Elfling would remember it all, Glorfindel swung up onto Asfaloth and he and the patrol headed out.
TBC