Touching Tomorrow

Title: Touching Tomorrow – Part Seven

Author: Charlie

Beta: keiliss

Contact: legolaslovesaragorn@yahoo.co.uk or glorfindelanderestor@yahoo.co.uk

Type: FPS

Pairing: Erestor/Elrond

Rating for this chapter: NC-17

Warnings for this chapter: Very AU, Violence, implied M-Preg

Disclaimer: Don’t own these elves, sadly.

Summary: The eyes in the mirror…


Chapter 7
Closing the door behind me, I wipe away the tears that have formed in my eyes, forcing them back for now. I strip quickly as the sink fills with water, and, turning the taps off, I dip the flannel into the warmth and then rub the soap over it.
As always, I wash my chest and arms first before moving downwards, cleaning and wiping. Starting at my thighs, I work all the way down to my toes which I also wash very carefully.
I rinse my hands, and, as I do so, I pull the sink plug and watch the water swirling while I dry myself.
After I am sure I am completely dry, I sink to my knees, the tiles cold against my skin. Dividing my loose hair and bringing it forward over my shoulders, which leaves my back exposed, I clasp my hands together behind my neck, and kneel rigidly upright
The floor is hard, and the tiles are chilling against my skin. The way my arms are stretched behind my neck hurts my ribs, and I have to fight not to cough, because I know I will fall over.
And so I wait for him.
The seconds and the minutes slowly slip by, until I no longer have any notion of time. My body hurts more and more, the strain of remaining like this is taking its toll on me.
And still I wait.
It becomes much harder to remain upright; as time passes the muscles in my legs and shoulders grow stretched and sore. As my arms become stiff, I strain not to let go of my neck.
And I wait, as I was ordered.
But there is something, something that slowly trickles in the back of my mind, telling me that this is wrong. I dare not listen to it yet… but it is growing, I can feel it…
And still time wears on.
I can hear movement from our bedroom, but I remain perfectly still, as ordered, because if I move, even to see if something is wrong, I know I will be punished. I shudder as I remember the time he chastised me by leaving me in here, like this, till dawn, and I can only hope that is not what he plans tonight, although I don't really believe that it is Suddenly the door is thrown open, and Elrond strides in. He always does that, so that if I am out of place he will catch me, making certain I will not have time to move before he sees me.
I stay motionless and silent as he begins to circle me, making sure that I am doing what he requires. Coming to stand before me, he grabs my chin and pulls it right up so that he can look at me, which makes keeping my hands positioned behind my neck nearly impossible, and I almost let go – which is, of course, what he is testing me for.
But I cling on, and eventually he seems satisfied and lets my head drop again.
“Go into the bedroom, and present yourself for punishment,” he orders. He watches me as I shakily rise to my feet, my joints moaning in agony as they are finally moved back into their normal positions.
Keeping my head lowered, I look at the floor as I walk past him, biting my lip as he spanks me hard.
Slowly I make my way over to the bed, and, taking a deep breath, I crawl onto it, moving along to the end so that I am reflected in the huge mirror. He likes us to watch what he does to me in the mirror and has long since found this to be his preferred position for punishment.
On my hands and knees, I carefully lie down so that my chest is against the bed, my arms folded before me, and my body slanting upwards as I am still on my knees. My hands clutch at my elbows to steady and support myself, and I lean forward, resting my chin on my arms. And I wait for him to come to me.
I can hear him move around the room, and I hear the drawer open – his drawer - and I shiver, for he keeps an unthinkable number of things in there, mostly for punishment, though I don’t really know, I am not allowed to look in there.
Finally, I hear the drawer slide closed, followed by even footsteps as Elrond walks over to me, and his looming figure appears behind me in the mirror. His hand begins to caress my skin gently as he looks down at me, the item he has selected hidden from my view.
“You have been very bad, Erestor,” he eventually tells me, still stroking my behind lingeringly.
“You know this, don’t you?” he whispers.” You know you have to be punished. Ask me to punish you; ask me to forgive you and make you clean….”
I have little choice… I know how this works, but this time it feels different. I don’t trust his words so much anymore… I am beginning to wonder…
.~*~*~*~*~*~
As the lashes began to fall across my back, I bit my lip, trying to prevent my tears from flowing, while my eyes remained fixed on the image of myself in the mirror. The lashes rained faster, and my body grew tense, my muscles weary, as I attempted to stay in the right position for him, each time just trying to get past the next blow.
I watched myself in the mirror, and I hated what I could see there.
Elrond’s face, as cold as stone as he watched, expressionless, while my body trembled at each lash. And myself… head lowered, body submissive and bruised, hair falling limply across the bed in soft curls, and deep brown, liquid eyes glistening with tears of hurt.
And I looked away, because I could not look at those eyes anymore, my own eyes which told me that I would do anything for the one behind me, everything to make him love me….
The eyes which told me that, if I stayed, I would pay with everything.

~*~*~*~*~*~
After Elrond has completed my punishment, he leaves to wash himself, giving me some time to gather my emotions. Crawling under the thick covers, I bury my head in the pillow and let my tears finally flow, attempting to muffle the sound of my sobbing.
My back feels as though it is on fire, and my lower body throbs with the agony of having been taken roughly and without the aid of a lubricant, but I don’t cry for that. My ribs are aching, and my shoulders as well, but I don’t cry for that pain, either. I cry for my son and the pain he has suffered because of my failure in judgment, the way he has been treated because of my mistake. I see his face before me, tearstained and bruised, and I weep with all my heart because I have failed to keep him safe.
And I cry for Elrond, who has changed so much, cry for all the times I have wished things could be as they once were, cry because he doesn’t even know that he is pushing me away.
But most of all I cry because I love him still. Even after all he has done, I love him still, so much it hurts, even though I know that this cannot go on.
Lying here, I cry for everything I love. In fact it is love I cry for, and all the pain that love has caused.
But soon I hear the water being turned off in the bathroom, and I know I can cry no more. Quickly wiping away my tears, I turn over, facing away from his side of the bed, and I am just in time, for Elrond walks back into the room, clean and dry.
I can feel the bed dip as he sits down and the cool breeze as he lifts the covers to get in.
Elrond is not a forgiving person, but he often acts as though nothing has happened when it suites him. The light goes out, and I feel a gentle hand rest on my shoulder, and I lightly tense, but he does not notice as he presses up against me.
His hand slides down to rest over my bare abdomen as his leg drapes possessively over mine, pinning me in place, while his head rests next to mine on the pillows.
His hot breath stirs my hair, and I shiver as his fingers lightly trace over my skin.
“You looked so beautiful when you were carrying my child, Erestor...” he breathes against my ear, pressing a soft kiss to my neck before his breath begins to even out in sleep.
My heart beats faster at the implication of his words, and it hurts to finally understand that only when he wants something does he treat me gently and with love.
My thoughts, however, become muddled and confused as my exhausted body finally takes over, forcing me to rest, and the sleep I need for recovery overtakes me.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Sometime during the night, I wake; everything is pitch dark, and the only sound breaking the silence is Elrond’s heavy breathing. I have no idea of the time. Elrond’s alarm clock could probably tell me, but I dare not turn to look at it, for even the smallest movement will sometimes wake him.
And then, faintly, I hear something, and I listen closely, trying to work out what it is. There is a small patter, feet on the wooden floor, and then…
“Nana...” a small voice whispers almost silently from beside the bed, and a small hand grips mine.
“I’m scared… can’t sleep…”
“Oh Angel, don’t be frightened, Nana’s here…” I whisper, thankful that Elrond is now on the other side of the bed and no longer draped possessively over me as he had been before falling asleep.
Pulling back the bed covers, I carefully lift Rodoniel up, slowly so as not to wake Elrond, and place him gently beside me. He snuggles against my chest, thumb going to his mouth.
“Thank you, Naneth….” he whispers sleepily as I wrap the covers around him and cuddle him close.
“Sleep now, Angel, or you’ll be tired in the morning,” I whisper, kissing him gently on the forehead, before lying carefully back down on the bed.
Listening to his soft breathing as it fades to a deep, calm rhythm, I wonder how he managed to climb from his crib. I yawn widely, my eyelids seeming to get heavier and heavier. I decide to find out how he did it first thing tomorrow, but I can’t think much longer, and I give up the attempt, as I slowly slip into reverie once more.
tbc

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