In the Garden

Title: In the Garden, Chapter 7
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, others implied
Rating: R
Warning: AU (Story set several hundred years after ROTK in Aman); Het.
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF.net; fanfiction.net
Acknowledgements: Thanks also to Lady Victoria for betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Prof. Tolkien. A quick check of my bank account should prove I’m not making anything off of writing my stories. Sigh!
Summary: Life in the Blessed Land has not been so blessed for Elrond. Can the happiness that has long eluded him be found in the words of a red-bound journal, the help of his scheming friends, and the granting of a wish that none thought possible?

Chapter 7 --- A New Chapter

“I need to confess…”

Elrond looked up from the red journal in his hands to meet her eyes. /Please do not say you read my journal!/ “Confess, my lady?”

Blushing furiously at the way that sounded, Meril nodded her head. “I saw some of the pictures you drew. I did not mean to invade your privacy! I opened it meaning to work on one of my poems and… saw the drawings. I promise you I did not read any of your thoughts nor look beyond what I saw upon opening it… but I did see… several sketches.”

Relieved, yet embarrassed, he spoke quickly accepting her apology and offering one of his own. “I am not offended for I did much the same upon opening yours… though I confess I did read the poem on that page. It was very good! It took me a moment to realize what had happened and… I wanted to finish it, for I found it quite moving. I hope you will forgive me for I did not do it with intent.”

Anxious, as well as curious, she asked, “Which poem did you read?”

Looking back at his own journal, he answered, “Hear You Not.”

“Oh.”

“May I ask… the pictures… were they…?”

Glancing up to meet his eyes, she knew what he was asking, “One was of your sons… another, the fountain. Two were of me… sitting on my bench. I know you often sketch while you are in the park, so I was not surprised… we are often here at the same time and there are only so many things to draw in this garden.”

Touched and amused that she felt to need to ease his embarrassment, he commented, “There is also the fact that you are lovely… even by elven standards.”

A shy, pleased smile was his reward. “Hannon le, my lord. You are kind.” (Thank you, my lord.)

Charmed by this shy turn, his smiled grew wider, “Tis hardly being kind to be truthful. Since you offered the first confession, shall offer the second? While I did not look beyond that first time… I was tempted. Your journal seemed to find its way to my hands as if magically summoned on several occasions and I had to force myself to put it aside unread. I have sat in this park for many years and seen you writing in it. I was… intrigued, but happily I resisted and return it to you, your secrets intact.”

Relieved by his honesty, she shared his grin, as she moved to sit on the bench he normally occupied. “I too had such a problem. It was quite a temptation we survived, my lord, for it is always an enticing prospect to see what someone writes when they have no fear others will see their thoughts. Other than noting the handwriting was unknown to me, I saw nothing other than the sketches, but it was a… bit of a struggle at times. The rain did not aid me, trapping me in my rooms as it did!”

Uncertain about the propriety, he continued to stand near the bench. Confused, Meril asked, “Do you not plan to stay today, my lord? If you need to be elsewhere, I understand.”

“Nay, I have no other plans, but I did not want to place you in an unwelcome position by sitting with you uninvited. I would understand if you felt it best I stand.”

“Why…? I am confused…”

Sighing, Elrond ran his hand through his hair. “My reputation has been… tarnished, and I am still married to…” He hesitated before finishing, “…Celebrian. Many would find it inappropriate for an unmarried maiden to be seen with me, regardless of the circumstances.”

Concerned when she suddenly looked away, Elrond worried he had offended her or… that the possible damage to her reputation had not occurred to her. “My lady… if you wish me to leave…”

“Nay, that is not it, I assure you. Please sit. I hold no value in the opinion of any that would question your honor and integrity, so any alleged slurs to mine they might make are of no consequence. Please… sit,” she urged, a shy, sad smile upturned in his direction.

Elrond stood looking down at her expressive face for a moment before sitting beside her, careful to maintain a respectable distance between them. “There is more to your reaction than I know. Will you tell me what grieves you so? Only, if you want to do that, of course.”

Meril was silent for a long time, sorting and organizing her thoughts. “It was not until I came to Aman that I became fully aware of the whispers of those that find sport… seemingly their very reason to exist, in spreading gossip. That much of it is cruel, malicious lies only seems to add to their enjoyment. Facts… compassion, honor have little to do with what they say. The fact that they may actually have a truthful story to tell once in a while is purely by accident, not design.”

Not sure how to proceed, Elrond offered, “You were fortunate to have gone so long deaf to their ramblings.”

“Perhaps I was… or perhaps, if I had not been so trusting and naïve, I would have heard the rumors and ended my betrothal long ago. My parents and friends sheltered me and I was the last to know,” she whispered. “I find I am ill-prepared to know how to handle their slings and arrows.”

Wrapped for the moment in the familiar confides of the garden, the thought that this was a very personal conversation for two that had only been introduced the evening before did not occur to either of them. They shared a painful connection that had marred both of their lives. Both needed the confidence of the other… the only other that could truly understand their wounds.

“I did not realize Haldir was betrothed until after… Knowing Celebrian, she would not have liked hearing him mention you, so he did not tell us of his engagement when he visited Imladris. I left the valley, but infrequently, as Vilya was vital to her defense. I also suspected my wife was having…” Breaking off his thought, he looked away, “I had no desire to be placed in such a situation, so I did not visit Lorien in the millennia after our marriage.”

Staring out over the immaculate beds of the garden, he continued. “The people of Imladris were, by and large, Noldorian elves. Many had followed me from the ruin of Eregion and were… are fiercely loyal. Any that knew or suspected… none would have spread the gossip out of concern for me and my children.”

Pausing, he thought back over the centuries since he had become aware of the affair. “He came to Imladris on several occasions to bring messages from Lorien, or as escort to the Lord and Lady. After he became Captain, he was forced to remain in Lorien to see to its defenses. She then began to spend most of her time ‘visiting her parents’.”

“My dealings with him were always… stilted.” Sighing, he noted, “I now understand why. I had begun to suspect years earlier… during one of his visits, but I did not know for sure until one of my advisors, a dear and trusted friend, overheard talk while in Lorien. He told me upon his return, for he knew of my suspicions.”

“I had no friends that would tell me… though many knew,” she sighed. “Haldir always told me he had no choice in going to Imladris because he had been selected by his captain. Lady Galadriel has since told me he was always the first to volunteer. She thought it a sign of his desire to please and impress them with his dedication to service. We had no reason to compare stories then, so his lies to us both remained unchallenged.”

Meriel began to trace the design burnished in the leather of her journal with a distracted finger. “I have known him since I was a tiny elfling. His siblings are younger than he is and they were my playmates… friends. I grew up trusting him… loving him. I was well over a thousand before he sought to court me. I had waited… My father told me it had taken Haldir so long because he needed to sow his wild oats for a time to make up for having to mature at such a young age because of the War of the Last Alliance… and because he had been left to care for his siblings after their parents died.”

“We were betrothed for over fifteen hundred years… I was a fool. I believed his lies that he did not want to risk leaving me widowed with children for he had seen the effect it had on his family.” Looking off into space, she whispered, “Sadly, he continued to sow his oats even after we began to court and became betrothed. I now understand why certain ellith… even a few ellyn, would laugh when I walked by them. It was a great joke for so many.”

“I was spared that… until I arrived in Aman. While the official story was that Celebrian and I shared a marriage of great love and passion, most knew our marriage was not a love match. We married because Middle-earth needed the stability the union of Lorien and Imladris brought. I married her knowing we had no love for each other, but was hopeful we would be happy once we bonded. Knowing her parents so well, I assumed she would be of like character. I learned a valuable lesson from that… never assume something where the stakes for being wrong are that high,” he concluded, a bitter smile his only concession to his comment.

“Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn did not know, my lord. Some of their other advisors kept the truth of their daughter’s behavior from them and from my parents. My Ada is, for all his brilliance and cunning, somewhat naïve and trusting in matters of family. My mother is obsessed with… avoiding scandal and talk. She is quite adept at turning a blind eye to things she would prefer to ignore.” Forcing herself back to her original point, she continued, “I have since learned that my aunt and uncle were much grieved when they learned of their affair in the years after Celebrian sailed.”

“She often lamented in those dark days that she was unable to see anything in her mirror other than the final battle.” Reaching over to pluck a delicate pink rose from a nearby bush, she let her memories of that time swamp her mind. “They were devastated. I had not realized… so much suddenly makes sense.”

Seeing his confused look, she clarified. “We all knew Haldir had fallen out of favor with the Lord and Lady. At the same time, they became even more protective of me, though Haldir seemed to resent that… and me. His brothers have since told me he worried they would demote him, but the gathering dark would have made such a move unwise as it would have undermined our defenses.”

Caressing the rose she cradled in her hands, she continued. “Haldir was greatly insulted when Lord Celeborn ordered him to remain with the small force in Lorien, while he and our lady led our forces to Dol Guldur. He found it demeaning that many of those left were not trained warriors, but those of us from other professions that had some skill with a bow or sword. He did not approve of Himiel and me donning livery and taking up our bows, though she is as good a marksman as her brothers.”

Looking over at her companion, she added, “He was also ordered to stay in Middle-earth with his lordship until such time as my uncle sailed. I was broken-hearted by this, for he had long said we would wed upon our arrival in Aman. It now is clear that my aunt intended to sail ahead of us all to confront Celebrian and, I would imagine, order her to end the affair. It would seem she did not listen to her mother.”

“Indeed. Once she discerned that I knew, we had several long discussions during our voyage. I must say, I was relieved to find out they had not known until after she sailed. I would have been terribly hurt to think they had known and done nothing. I appreciate your telling me what actions they took with Haldir. I never asked, but did wonder at his being left in Middle-earth,” Elrond mused.

After a lengthy silence, Elrond asked, “May I ask… why you reacted as you did earlier? I somehow doubt that you were referring to Haldir’s conduct only.”

A deep blush swept up her throat to stain her face a bright pink. Before Elrond could retract his question, she looked away and answered. “I realize you were savagely treated… during the earlier scandal. I would assume you… withdrew after the second scandal began and that none close to you would have troubled you with the idle gossip that it produced.”

Seeing his nod out of the corner of her eye, Meril sighed. “Then you would not have heard… Our wedding was to have been one week from the day… he moved into her house. It was to have been a double wedding with my twin sister and her intended. There was already much speculation about it, given that fact… and the length of our engagement.”

Methodically, Meril began to tear the thorns from the stem of the rose she held. “As fate would have it, there was a recital by a company from Lorien planned for that night. My twin and I were part of this group. As we began to play, we wondered where our parents and brother were, for they had not taken their seats with Min’s betrothed… nor had Haldir.”

“The performance had been underway for some minutes when Saelrus, my brother, arrived… sent by our parents to bring us home. Rather than call further attention to me, he chose to take his seat and wait until intermission.” Tears began to slip down her pale cheeks, as the pain of that moment came crashing down on her senses. “My parents remained at home, hoping to avoid scandal and left it to my siblings to support me. I was trapped on that stage for over three hours hearing whispers from the audience at each break in the music… as well as from some of the company, about what had happened.”

“They began to speculate as to the exact nature of mine and Haldir’s relationship. I was everything from his mistress that he was being forced to marry because I was with child, to a cold and selfish shrew that had kept him dangling on a string for millennia to his bonded betrothed he had abandoned for another.” A tear dropped onto the velvety surface of the rose, glistening like a diamond in the afternoon sun. “My pride kept me from fleeing the stage until the very end, despite my siblings’ urging for me to leave at the intermission.”

Dropping her head to stare at the ground, she whispered, “My reputation was greatly assaulted over the months that followed, so I doubt I have much of one left beyond the small circle of my family and friends.”

She had heard him gasp in /was it surprise… outrage… disgust…/ several times during her rambling answer. Now that she had finished, she was unwilling to turn and see the look in his eyes. /He has no reason not to think them true. Why would he think I am still an untouched maiden? I was betrothed for so long, after all./

A gentle hand reached over to tilt her face up so their eyes could meet. Taking a moment to wipe away her tears, he smiled gently. “They are fools. You have done nothing wrong and anyone with half a mind can see the truth if they but look into your eyes. I am so sorry you were so badly treated in this.”

“I know what it is to have you honor and character so viciously maligned. I flatter myself that you understand those charges made against me to be lies or else, you would not be sitting here now. Bad though my marriage has been, I made vows and have kept them. While I make no claim to be without fault, I do have my honor,” he concluded.

A slight smile softened the planes of his face. “In the end, that was why I was able to resist reading your journal… my desire to retain my honor by respecting the privacy of another. That is all that seems left to me these days.”*

Breathless with surprise at his response, her swimming blue eyes remained locked with his shining silver. “My sons and Lindir both expressed great joy in seeing you last evening at the recital. They praised you highly and with great affection. I gleamed from their comments that you have not… been seen much in recent years at such gatherings. We all hope that will no longer to be the case, as we all enjoyed your company.”

A shiver of pleasure slide through her system in response to the gentle tone of his voice, it’s deep, silky timbre like a caress to her battered senses. With a shy nod, she murmured, “I enjoyed last night too… especially your performance. Will you be playing again?’

“Perhaps,” he replied pleased by her praise. Looking away so that she would not see his growing interest, he tried to sound as casual as possible as he commented, “I seem to remember you and Lindir have made arrangements to play together in the near future. Is it possible I might be included on this select roster? I would love to hear you play, though I can well understand why you would not want to perform for a large group.”

“As Master Lindir and I are to meet in the gardens of your home, it seems reasonable to allow the master of the home to join us. We have agreed to meet tomorrow at mid-morning.” Having offered the invitation, she dropped her gaze back to the rose, embarrassed by her boldness.

“I will plan to be there. Will you bring your flute only or will you bring your other instruments, as well?” he inquired. “Unless you prefer to play only your own, you need only bring your flute, for we have all common instruments… and a few uncommon ones, too. My dear friend has long collected music and musical instruments… a passion he instilled in me when I was still a child.”

”You have known Master Lindir since your childhood?”

“Lindir was a young scribe and minstrel in my parent’s home in the Havens of Sirion. He was one of the very few to survive the attack that destroyed my home. When my twin and I were finally returned to the care of the High King, we were thrilled to find Lindir had found a place in Ereinion’s court. He made it his personal mission to take care of us… then me ever since.” An ancient pain flared to life in the depths of his silver eyes. “I do not know how I would have survived losing my twin had it not been for the King, Cirdan… my dear friend Glorfindel, but most especially Lindir.”

Reacting on instinct, Meril reached over to place a comforting hand on his arm. “I am so sorry. I cannot imagine losing my twin; she is so much a part of me.”

“Indeed the bond between twins is special… strong.” Pushing aside the gloom thoughts of Elros always inspired, he glanced back at his companion. “Being a twin… tis another thing we share. Does she live here in Valimar?”

“Nay, she and her family live a few miles north of Alqualondë in a house that overlooks the sea. Her husband is an artist and prefers the light he finds near the ocean to do his work. He was a ship’s captain in Uncle Cirdan’s fleet at the Havens for many centuries.” Smiling, she added, “I think it more he cannot bear being far from the sea than the quality of the light, but Min and their children love it as well, so it was a good choice.”

“Min?”

"Minuial. I miss having her near, but she is happy and that is more important.” Unsure of how to continue what she had belatedly realized was a very intimate conversation, Meril was saved the need by the sudden arrival of a large grey dog.

Laughing, she asked, “Is this not the dog that caused us to confuse our journals? Fangorn, I believe he is called.”

“Indeed, it is. I wonder where his young owner… Ah, her she comes.” Smiling, he greeted the child as she hesitantly came toward them, trailed by two other elflings. “Suilad, pynneth. Fangorn has come to visit us again.” (Greetings, young ones.)

“I am sorry, my lord. I told him to stay… but he has a mind of his own,” the little elleth said.

Grinning at what was obviously a phrase she had heard from an elder, he asked, “Fangorn… do you know the story of the ents of Middle-earth?”

“Aye, my lord. My adar’ra has told me stories he heard when he lived in Lindon. Fangorn was the oldest of the ents and their leader. The forest where they lived was named for him,” she proudly reported.

“Very good, penneth. Your adar’ra lived in Lindon?” (young one)

“Indeed, for he went there after his old home sunk into the sea. His name is Thalatang and he was a warrior for the High King. Adar’ra marched under the banner of his Herald, Elrond. He died in Mordor and was rehoused here in Aman,” an older ellon interjected. “Our ada was a scribe in Imladris and sailed here with Lord Elrond.”

“Who is your Ada?”

“Glanfer. He works in the main library in the heart of the city,” the child happily proclaimed.

“I am indeed pleased to hear this! I know your Ada and Adar’ra. Both served me well for many years. They are fine and wise elves. I am happy to see they have found peace in the Blessed Lands, and the joy of family to sooth their spirits,” Elrond proclaimed. “What are your names, pynneth?” (young ones)

“I am Thindthir and my sisters are Bronor and Bregloth.” Trading an amazed, excited look with his sisters, he asked, “Are you… are you Lord Elrond?”

“Indeed, I am, Thindthir Glanferion. Tis a pleasure to meet you and your sisters.” Trading a grin with Meril, he asked, “Since your Adar’ra has told you of the ents, would you like to hear of the day the High King sent me into the forest to parley with Fangorn?”

Eyes wide with wonder, the three elflings scurried to sit at his feet to hear the promised story. Pleased to again have elflings to tell his stories, the loremaster began.

-----

Neither Elrond nor the elleth at his side noticed a shadow detach itself from behind a tree near the entrance to the small garden. Meril glanced over seeking the source of a flash of silver hair she had seen out of the corner of her eye. Quick though she had been, she found no one near the archway. Assuming a child had run by thus catching her gaze, she turned back to listen as the story unfolded.

-----

A call from outside their enclosed garden finally drifted to the ears of the elflings. “Ai! That is our minder. We must go!” Jumping to their feet, the elflings bowed politely. “Hannon le, my lord. That was a wonderful story! I will tell our ada and adar’ra we met you and that you send them your greetings,” Thindthir promised. (Thank you…)

“Please do that and the pleasure was mine in the telling.”

The youngest elleth walked over and stretched her arms up to give him a hug. “Hannon le. Will you tell us another story the next time?” (Thank you)

Touched by the innocent show of affection, the elf lord bent to accept the hug. “If it is all right with your parents and your minder, I would be glad to tell you a story.” Glancing at Meril, he added, “I may not be here for several days, but when I am, come and see me.”

Grinning, the three thanked him again and ran off in response to their minder’s call.

“That was a wonderful story, my lord. I too enjoyed hearing it. Can I join the elflings to hear your stories the next time?” The soft smile on her face confirmed her enjoyment.

“That would be a great pleasure, my lady. By the time we sailed, there were no elflings in Imladris and I have missed telling my tales to such a rapt audience,” he confessed, a pleased smile transforming his face. To her dismay, the smile quickly faded away. “Since I arrived, none have brought their children to see me. I hope those little ones will not get into trouble for speaking to me.”

Shocked by the change and saddened by it, Meril exclaimed, “Did you not hear the awe and respect in their voices? They have not been told anything but praise of you, my lord. I suspect their Ada and Adar’ra will join them if they can to see you again, for if both served you for as long as you say, they would have known the slander of your name to be false.”

Staring straight ahead for a moment, the smile slowly returned. “I have just had a revelation, my lady. Here we sit, much abused by scandals not of our making, and we are the ones hiding from the world for our partners’ conduct. We have both spent far too much time feeling we need to defend ourselves and letting those that have no connection to us rule our lives. We did nothing wrong so as to deserve this. I say we end this and take back our lives.”

Tilting her head, she studied the changes in his demeanor. Pleased to see some of the ancient weight drop away from his shoulders, she resolutely nodded her head. “You are right, my lord. We have let the small and petty drive us into hiding… or at least I have. The ones that matter, know we did nothing wrong to deserve the scandals that attached themselves to us. I agree; we take back our lives.”

Grinning, he nodded his head. “Wonderful. As a first action… please call me Elrond.”

Blushing slightly, she agreed. “And you must call me Meril.”

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Those we met in this chapter:
Thalatang (steady bowstring) --- a reborn warrior from Lindon
Glanfer (White beech) --- a scribe and junior advisor to Elrond in Imladris
Thindthir (Grey eagle) --- the son of Glanfer
Bronor (Enduring flame) --- the elder of the two daughters of Glanfer
Bregloth (Wild flower) --- the youngest of the three, an elleth

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A/N --- * For those of you wondering why I teased you with the idea they would read each other’s journal, but ended up having them resist, I wanted the journals to be a way to get them talking to each other and to begin to acknowledge their silent attraction to each other. I stopped short of having them read them because I felt Elrond would not knowingly violate someone’s privacy in such a manner regardless of the temptation. As he says, he had reached a point where he felt his own sense of his personal honor was all he had left.

If Elrond didn’t give into temptation, then neither could Meril or he wouldn’t be able to trust her. Both had been badly hurt by lies and betrayal; their relationship needed to begin… be founded on trust and honesty. So, they were tempted, but resisted and that gave them a comfort level to begin to talk. And what could have been a stumbling point has become another point of connection and respect between them.

At least, this was my reasoning… it made sense to me! The journals will continue to pop up in the story, as they have yet to fulfill their total potential in my plot!

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A little more progress, MarzBar! Hope you enjoy the chapter.