Reasons to Hope, Reasons to live

Pairings: Legolas/Haldir, Aragorn/Legolas.



Warnings: Slash, Mpreg, Major Legolas OOCness, angst, drama, depression, and every depressing feeling u can think of. I tried to put some humor in this chpt but as can u see, the plot doesn’t allow any humor at the time being…maybe later.



Keys:



Dreams and flashbacks



“Common language”



‘Elvish language’



[Translations]



//Thoughts//



I want to apologize for the crying Legolas part in the previous chpt :P I don’t what the hell got to me while writing it…I’ll try not make Legolas very OOC in the coming chpts.



Special thanks to Cheysuli for editing my mistakes, Radiion-hobbitwarrior for the names

Takes place same time as chpt 5…



~~~~***~~~~



Aragorn laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. He felt too lazy to get up from his bed. Last night, he had some difficulty getting to sleep. Thoughts of Legolas occupied his mind and prevented him from finding any rest.



Aragorn sighed deeply, wondering what the end of his futureless love would be. He had made his choice and released Arwen from their engagement, choosing to live alone with visions of an unrequited love for the rest of his life. His steward, Faramir, had argued and practically begged him to marry and have a queen and heirs, but he simply couldn’t.



No, he wouldn’t.



No one would replace Legolas in his heart and he couldn’t marry anyone without love; he couldn’t do that to anyone. He couldn’t do that to himself.



Aragorn sighed again, wishing he could either forget Legolas or remove him from his heart. But was that really what he wanted?



Aragorn shook his head. He didn't want to forget Legolas or take the love for the beautiful elf out of his heart.



He closed his eyes, remembering their first meeting.



They had met in Lothlórien, when Aragorn was only eighteen years-old and was visiting the Golden Good with the twins. Legolas was there with his brothers, also visiting the elven realm.



Aragorn was taken by the beauty of the young prince and his gentle nature and fell in love with him almost immediately. Legolas’ beauty was rare, even among elves. He remembered Elladan telling him that Legolas, unlike his brothers, had inherited his beautiful features from his late mother, who was the most beautiful maiden in the entire east region. She was even called the Jewel of Mirkwood for her rare beauty and grace.



Aragorn couldn’t help but to believe in this. By that time, he had seen neither King Thranduil, who was in Mirkwood nor Queen Aarien [Sun-maiden], who was dead long ago. Still he could see that Legolas’ features were soft and somehow more feminine, while his two brothers possessed more hard and masculine features. In fact, Aragorn had discovered later, that the two elder princes of Mirkwood were younger images of their father.



Aragorn smiled to himself, remembering how fast he and the youngest son of King Thranduil had become friends. They used to have early walks through the trees of Lothlórien everyday, practice archery and swordsmanship, or sit near the lake and simply talk.



Through that time, Aragorn’s feelings were growing deeper and deeper for the golden beauty. However, he didn’t realized the nature of his feeling until he saw Legolas, one day, sharing a passionate kiss with the Marchwarden Haldir.



FLASHBACK



Aragorn ran through the thick trees of Lothlórien; h e was late for his early walk with Legolas. He had to reach to their meeting place before the elf decided to go alone. As he got nearer, his ears go caught the sounds of soft moans coming from between the trees. Frowning, he slowed his pace, trying not to make any sound. He peeked fro around some bushes, and his heart dropped.



He saw Haldir's arms circling Legolas’ body in a tight embrace, with his lips locked onto Legolas’ lips. Legolas was moaning softly as the Lothlórien elf explored his mouth passionately.



Aragorn didn’t know what to feel or what to do. His world shattered at the scene in front of him. He backed away a few steps before breaking into run, his tears falling from his eyes and his sobs filling his ears.



END OF FLASHBACK



Aragorn shook his head violently, dismissing the memories . He should not think of them right now. There were so many more important issues to take care of than pondering the past.



A knock on the door brought Aragorn back to reality.



‘Enter,’ he said, getting off his bed.



“Estel, may I have a word with you?” Lord Elrond asked as he appeared from behind the door.



“Sure, Ada,” Aragorn said, sitting on a nearby chair. “Please, have a seat.”



‘Diola lle, nîn ion. [Thank you, my son.]’ Lord Elrond sat next to Aragorn. He studied Aragorn for a while, thinking of a way to say what he had come to say.



“I wanted to talk to you about Legolas’ condition,” the old Lord finally said, locking his eyes directly into Aragorn’s gray eyes. “Surely, you understand how complicated his situation is now.” Elrond waited for Aragorn to nod his understanding before continuing. “Lord Glorfindel and I thought of loophole around the whole problem.”



“I’m listening,” Aragorn said, nodding.



“This problem exists because of the fact that Legolas is pregnant without being bonded to Haldir. We’ve thought that if Legolas got married as soon as possible and his husband claimed the baby as his own, everything would be normal and there would be no problem at all,” Lord Elrond said quietly, studying Aragorn’s reaction with careful eyes.



Aragorn stared at his father with pure shock written all over his face.



“What?” Aragorn asked in surprise. “What have you just said?”



“You heard me, Estel,” Lord Elrond said quietly. “Legolas must get married as soon as possible.”



“No, you must be joking, Ada.” Aragorn shook his head. “You cannot possibly mean it. You want Legolas to marry to cover his pregnancy from Haldir? This is impossible. Legolas will not agree to this.” Aragorn stood and walked to the window.



“He has no other choice but to agree, Estel,” Lord Elrond said stoically. “Either this or-”



“Or what?” Aragorn snapped, turning to face to his foster father. “You want Legolas to hide his pregnancy as if it was something wrong, something to be ashamed of, something-”



“His pregnancy *is* wrong. Estel,” Lord Elrond said firmly. “I’m trying to help him so his father won’t force him to abort his baby. This is the only solution I could find.”



“Why don't you just leave him alone? Isn’t enough that Legolas lost Haldir in that war? Now, everybody wants him to kill his child too! The only thing that reminds him of Haldir!”



“We both know why, Estel,” Lord Elrond said.



Aragorn shook his head. “Why you are telling me, anyway? You should tell this to Legolas not me.”



Lord Elrond studied his foster son for a while before standing from his seat and walking to his son’s side. “Because I know about your feelings towards him,” Aragorn stared at him, shocked. “I want you to be his future husband, Estel.”



“Ada, I…” Aragorn didn’t know what to say.



“Aside from your feelings towards him, I can’t think of anyone that will take care of Legolas and his child better than you would.” Lord Elrond placed a comforting hand on Aragorn’s shoulder. “I know that asking you to marry Legolas, knowing that he doesn’t return your feelings, is a difficult thing to do; but think of it this way, Legolas needs someone to love and take care of his child. His grief is growing each day, Estel. Every day, Legolas’ soul is fading away from us. He needs someone to give him new hope, a new reason to live. He needs a new love, Aragorn.”



“He doesn’t want a new love,” Aragorn whispered. “And he already had a reason to live, his baby.”



“But that baby cannot be born if things stay the way they are, Estel. Our safety is at risk.”



Aragorn looked deeply into his father's eyes, trying to read his inner thoughts. “I need some time to think,” he finally said.



Lord Elrond smiled softly. “Estel, you shouldn’t fight your feelings for so long. You need Legolas as much as he needs you. You two have the chance to find happiness together.”



“But he doesn’t love me, father,” Aragon snapped; pain was clear in his eyes. “He loves Haldir, and no body else.”



“Haldir is dead, Estel.” Lord Elrond sighed. “Centuries may pass before he would be reborn again, that if he would be at all. Legolas is still young; his opportunities to find another love are still available.” Lord Elrond paused for a moment before he added in a whispered voice, “And I’d love to see you two happy together.”



Aragorn looked at his father wistfully. “What if Legolas refuses? Or his brothers? Or his father?”



“Leave them to Lord Celeborn and I. You only have to make your decision, whether you want to take this chance or not.” Lord Elrond took a deep breath. “I shall go and inform Legolas about my suggestion and leave you to think about it. He too will need time to think before his father’s arrival.” With that Lord Elrond nodded and left Aragorn alone.



As soon as his foster father left his room, Aragorn threw himself on the nearest chair and lost himself deeply in his thoughts.



~~~~***~~~~



“No!” Legolas exclaimed angrily, standing up from his seat. “This is impossible.”



The three Lords had summoned Legolas and his brothers earlier to the council room to discuss the current situation. The three brothers sat infront of the elders, listening to carefully to what they were saying.



‘Havo dad, Legolas [Sit down Legolas],’ Lord Celeborn said. “Let us discuss this reasonably.”



“No, Lord Celeborn.” Legolas shook his head, still standing. “There is nothing to be discussed,” he said, turning to Lord Elrond. “With all due respect, my Lord, I can’t heed to your suggestion. I will not marry another to cover my pregnancy.”



“But child,” Lord Glorfindel said. “This may be your only chance to keep your baby.”



“No, Lord Glorfindel,” Legolas snapped. “This is not the only way!”



“What is the other way, Legolas?” Lord Celeborn asked calmly.



“Leave me be!” Legolas answered. “Leave me be with my baby. Why is my pregnancy brothering you all? It’s my child; Haldir's and mine. I’ll take care of it and raise it by myself.”



“Legolas, I think I’ve told you the consequences of your pregnancy,” Lord Elrond said in stoic voice. “if wif we leave you alone; your father will not. Eventually, he’ll force you to abort the child or he might do something he’d regret later.”



“I don’t care of all of this, my Lord.” Legolas placed one hand on his stomach protectively. “And as for my baby, no one will harm it. No matter what price I’ll have to pay. Even if I had to run away and live on my own, forsaking my title, my land and everything in my life.” Everyone in room stared shocked at him.



“Legolas, you surely don’t mean what you are saying!” Mallorn said weakly.



“Yes, I mean it, Mallorn!” Legolas glared at him brother. “If my father is ashamed of my baby, then I’ll spare you all from all of this and leave, putting an end to this absurd situation.”



“Legolas, your father is not ashamed of your pregnancy as much as he’s concern about yours and your kin's welfare,” Lord Glorfindel said. “You and your child will be under the care of your future husband and his protection. Believe me, it’s the best solution for everybody.”



“And who would be the fool who’ll agree on claiming and raising a child not his?” Legolas asked bitterly.



“I am.” The three elven Lords, Legolas and his brothers looked at the entrance to see Aragorn standing there with a determined expression on his face.



Legolas stared at Aragorn, shocked, as the man walked towards him.



“Prince Legolas,” Aragorn addressed Legolas as soon as he stood infront of him. “I’d be honored if you'd agree to marry me.”



Heavy silence reigned on[in] the room. The three Lords looked at the two friends expectantly while Mallorn dropped his jaw in shock and Aredhel raised a dark eyebrow, unpleasantly, at the King of men.



Legolas looked deeply into Aragorn’s gray eyes, trying to read the man’s inner thoughts. Aragorn’s eyes were determined, cold, ral,ral, daring and strong. He couldn’t know what his human friend was thinking at that moment. The two stared at each for a while, before Legolas looked away, breaking the contract.



“This it ridiculous.” He shook his head, and started to move away.



“You haven’t given me your answer, Prince Legolas,” Aragorn said, his voice full of authority.



Legolas turned towards his friend, glaring at him for speaking with him w using that tone with him.



“If you want an answer, King Elessar,” he replied with the same sharp voice. “Then it’s *No*. I will not marry anyone and Haldir's child will remain his and nobody else’s.”



“This is the only solution, Legolas,” Aragorn said arrogantly. “Either this or you’ll lose your baby.”



“And who are you to say so, son of Arathorn?” Legolas nearly yelled. “My situation does not concern you. You have no right to make decisions concerning my life.”



“I’m your friend, Legolas, and I want to help,” Aragorn said. “You can’t run away from your responsibilities forever. You have conceived a child out of wedlock, now we’re trying to correct your mistake.”



“My pregnancy is not a mistake, son of Arathorn,” Legolas yelled, glaring at Aragorn dangerously.



“Whether it was a mistake or not, Legolas,” Aragorn said. “It was out of wedlock. I’m willing to marry you and take your child under my care and protection.”



“You’re forgetting two things, King Elessar,” Legolas said. “First, you must marry and bring heirs to your throne. Second, marriage between two males is unheard among men. Your people will not be pleased.”



“And you’re aware that I’m a King. I can choose whoever I want as my heir. And as for my people, they know very well that I have been raised among elves, so whatever I do they must accept it whether it was heard of among men or not,” Aragorn said, folding his arms in front of his chest.



“You have no right to interfere in my life, Aragorn,” Legolas hissed. “None of you do.” He turned towards the three elder elves. “You have no right in arranging meetings to decide what I should and shouldn’t do in *my life*; especially in my father’s absence.”



“First of all, Legolas,” Lord Elrond said. “Your father is on his way to Rivendell and will arrive in three weeks. Second, we have the right to talk about your baby since this pregnancy may risk our safety. Third, we told you about this now because we wanted to give you some time to think before your father’s arrival. Aragorn is the most suitable husband for you and your child will be Aragorn’s heir.”



“And what if I don’t want my child to rule Gondor?! That legacy is not its right!” Legolas exclaimed.



“Your child doesn’t have to be my heir, Legolas,” Aragorn said. “I can name whoever I want to be my heir. There is no need to worry about this matter.”



Legolas looked at Lord Elrond then at Aragorn. He felt tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. This was more than he could take.



“No one understands me,” he whispered before running out the room, crying his heart out.



‘Mallorn, go after him,’ Aredhel ordered his brother. Mallorn nodded and foed Led Legolas.



“This was worse than I thought.” Lord Glorfindel sighed, shaking his head.



“He still cannot accept Haldir's death,” Lord Elrond said, messaging his temples. “And you, Estel, made it worse,” he said, looking at his foster son.



“Me?” Aragorn raised an eyebrow. “But I did what you told me and asked him to marry me!”



“Asked him or ordered him, King Elessar?” Aredhel said, darkly. To say the truth, Aredhel wasn’t please with the idea of his brother marrying a human, even if that human was king and Lord Elrond’s foster son. He wished the three Lords hadn’t suggested for Aragorn to be Legolas’ husband.



Aragorn looked at Aredhel and nearly gulped in fear. Aredhel looked so much like King Thranduil at that moment; his blue eyes had cold fire burning within them and his expression was so firm and serious. He was looking at Aragorn, as if he were reading the human’s inner thoughts. If Aragorn weren’t sure, he would say that King Thranduil was sitting in the room, not the Crown prince of Mirkwood. The three Lords raised their eyebrow at the scene in front of them as the same thought occurred to them.



“You want to marry my brother then, King Elessar,” Aredhel said, looking deeply into Aragorn’s eyes. “Why?”



For a moment Aragorn didn’t know what to say. He stared at Aredhel silently before finding his voice again.



“I want to help him,” he said uncertainly. “He’s my friend and I don’t want to lose him to grief. Besides, he deserves to have this only chance of happiness, especially, after Haldir's death.”



“Are these your only motives to accept Lord Elrond’s suggestion?” Aredhel narrowed his eyes as he studied the human closely.



“Yes,” Aragorn whispered, not trusting his voice under Aredhel’s steady gaze.



“I must agree, my Lords,” Aredhddreddressed the three Lords. “I cannot see another solution other than Lord Elrond’s. However, I doubt that my father will agree.”



“I will speak to King Thranduil personally, Aredhel,” Lord Celeborn said. “What's important now is to convince Legolas.”



“I shall see what I can do about that, my Lord, though I can’t promise you anything.” With that, Aredhel excused himself and left the room much to Aragorn’s relief.



“I can see that King Thranduil has succeeded in making another image of himself,” Lord Glorfindel said in amusement after Aredhel’s departure. “For a moment, I thought that King Thranduil was actually here, not his son.”



“Yes,” Lord Celeborn agreed. “Prince Aredhel will be a fine King just like his father.”



“Estel,” Lord Elrond addressed his son. “Your way of proposing to Legolas was wrong. You shouldn’t be that firm and cold with him, especially when he’s still hurt emotionally.”



“I know,” Aragorn sighed. “But, father, it was so difficult for me. I love him but I know that he doesn’t love me. He’s still in love with Haldir; he'd run again if he knew my true feelings.”



“Estel, you have to tell him your feelings,” Lord Glorfindel said. “If Legolas is in need of anything at this moment, it would be a new love; someone to care about him the way Haldir once did. It may be difficult for him to accept it at the beginning, but eventually he’ll return your feelingsm sum sure.”



“I hope so, Lord Glorfindel,” Aragorn said wistfully. “I hope so.”



~~~~***~~~~



When Mallorn arrived at Legolas’ bedchambers, his ears caught the sound of soft sobs coming from the bedroom. Sighing, he knocked on the door and entered without waiting for an answer.



He found Legolas lying on his bed, his face buried in the soft pillows as he sobbed. Mallorn walked towards the bed and sat near his brother.



‘Don’t upset yourself, Legolas,’ he said softly, running his hand through his brother’s golden hair. ‘They only want what's best for you and your child.’



‘They don’t understand,’ Legolas said between his sobs. ‘I cannot betray Haldir's memory. I cannot marry another, let alone my best friend.’



Mallorn sighed deeply. ‘Legolas,’ he began. ‘Lord Elrond is concerned about you. He wants you to live with happiness shining in your life. You are not betraying Haldir's memory by trying to save his child. Besides, you deserve another chance in love, my dear Greenleaf. ’



‘I can’t love again, Mallorn.’ Legolas raised his head, looking at his brother. ‘I can’t imagine myself loving anyone other than Haldir. Besides, Aragorn is like a brother to me, how could I love my best friend?’





‘Father will not agree to this, he’ll force me to abort my baby,’ Legolas said, tears streaming from his eyes.



‘If you agree, then I’m sure that Lord Elrond will convince father to agree.’



‘I can’t,’ Legolas whispered.



‘There is no other way, Legolas,’ Mallorn said. ‘Besides, Aragorn is very strong; he might be what you need in order to protect you and your child from any harm. Especially from…’ Mallorn’s voice trailed off, but Legolas understood what his brother meant.



‘Do you think that they will try to harm the baby if they found out?’ Legolas whispered in fear.



‘Well, Rûmil might. Orophin is weak; he'll cause no serious harm. But Rûmil will surely try to do something if the news of your pregnancy by Haldir reached his ears.’



‘But if I marry Aragorn, then I'll have obligations towards him as a husband. I…I don’t think I’d be able to fulfill them,’ Legolas said, lowering his head as a blush threatened to rise.



‘Then you two must talk about your siion ion before the ceremony,’ Mallorn said quietly.



‘I need time to think, brother,’ Legolas said after a moment of thought. ‘I can’t decide now.’



‘Father will arrive in three weeks, you have until then to make up your mind, Legolas,’ Mallorn said, smiling warmly. ‘And remember whatever you decide, you have my full support.’



‘Thank you, Mallorn.’ Legolas smiled slightly at his brother. Mallorn’s smile widened and kissed Legolas’ brow tenderly.



‘You are most welcomed, baby brother,’ Mallorn said softly.



He chuckled when Legolas tried to hide a yawn but failed miserably.



‘I’ll leave you now to get some rest, Legolas,’ he said as he got off the bed.



‘I can’t sleep yet,’ Legolas said, blushing slightly. ‘I feel terribly hungry. I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.’



Mallorn smiled. ‘I’ll ask for your breakfast to be brought to you here. Bfterfter that, you must get some rest.’



‘Surellorllorn.’ Legolas smiled at his brother. ‘But would you please ask the cook to include red berries in the meal?’



‘Red berries?’ Mallorn raised an eyebrow.



‘I feel a big desire to eat red berries.’ Legolas whispered, blushing.



Mallorn chuckled in amusement. ‘I’ll see that you will have your desire fulfilled, Little Greenleaf.’ With that, Mallorn left the room.



~~~~***~~~~



When Mallorn returned to his chambers, he saw Aredhel waiting for him.



‘So what happened?’ Aredhel asked as soon as his brother joined him.



‘He needs some time to think. He’s still so confused.’ Mallorn sighed. ‘This is more than he can take, Aredhel.’



‘I understand.’ Aredhel nodded. The two sat silently for a while before Aredhel spoke again.



‘Mallorn, if I asked you a question, would ans answer me with nothing but the truth?’



‘Of course, big brother!’ Mallorn answered in surprise. ‘I would never lie to you.’



‘What is it between Legolas and Haldir's brothers?’ At that question, Mallorn’s face paled. He looked terrified for a moment before regaining his self-control.



‘Why do you think there is some thing wrong between them?’ he asked, trying his best to keep his voice neutral.



‘I didn’t say that somethins wrs wrong between them, Mallorn,’ Aredhel said, studying his brother carefully. Mallorn kicked himself mentally for his mistake.



‘But now that you mentioned it,’ Aredhel continued. ‘I would like to know what is *wrong* between Legolas and Haldir's brothers?’



‘There is…’ Mallorn looked away from his brother’s sharp eyes. He couldn’t lie to Aredhel; he couldn’t lie to anyone in his family. But neither could he reveal Legolas’ secret. It had been long time since it happened. Even Haldir didn’t know about it. He had promised Legolas not to tell anyone.



‘Mall wha what are you and Legolas hiding from me?’ Aredhel asked; his voice was somehow kind yet full of authority.



‘I…I…I can’t tell you, Aredhel,’ Mallorn finally said, looking into his brother’s blue eyes. ‘I have promised Legolas not to tell anyone.’



‘Mallorn, you spoke of protecting Legolas from Orophin and Rûmil. I’m your big brother; I think I deserve to know what is threatening my brother’s life, ’ Aredhel said firmly.



Mallorn sighed. Aredhel was right. He deserved to know as well as their father and Aragorn too if he is going to wed Legolas.



‘Ok,’ Mallorn said, nodding. ‘I promise to tell you everything but not now.’



‘Then when?’ Aredhel frowned.



‘Once all of this is over and Legolas is safe in his husband’s care,’ Mallorn said. ‘I’ll you you everything.’



‘Very well.’ Aredhel nodded, standing from his seat. ‘I’ll be expecting you to tell me everything on Legolas’ wedding night.’ With that, he left the room.



‘Ok, brother.’ Mallorn whispered. ‘I’m sorry, Legolas, but they have to know.’



~~~~***~~~~



To be continued…



~~~~***~~~~



A/N: well, how was it? *chuckles* I think I have called Aragorn a fool! LOL…*feels Aragorn glaring at her from behind.* heheheeeee, well, it wasn’t me, it was Legolas.



Anyway, Aragorn has established a new hobby by running into people in the most unappreciated time *grins* naughty Aragorn! FOOL!!



Well, tell me what you think of it, please!