The old ways

“Travel with us?” Eowyn looked utterly shocked. “You will most certainly not travel with us. You will need at least a few weeks more before you can sit on a horses back again. Let me assure you of that.” She marched over to the elf and sat down the tray with food and drink with force.

“But I have to.....”
“Yes, you have to lie down again!” Eowyn put her hands on her hips and glared at Haldir.

During the next days, Haldir conspired with the Hobbit to come to him at night time and help him to get up from the bed and walk around for a bit. At first it was nearly impossible for Haldir to take a single step, but the more they practised the easier it got and Eowyn was surprised to see Haldir getting betterh evh every day, thinking it was due to her stern commands for the elf to stay in bed. And rest.
But clearly the exercise helped to speed up the healing process and by the end of the week Haldir could walk without aid and was even able to bend down to his toes without too much pain.
Early in the morning of the last day before Thn Kin King and his army were to leave for Gondor Haldir dressed in an armour and clothes, which Merry had gotten hold of during the last days. Surely they were not elven made but fitted him and made him feel a lot better then the sleeping robe he had been confined to for the last weeks.

Head held high he slowly moved down towards the great hall to enlist himself among Theoden’s men, Merry always at his side in case he did need help.
Half way down the rs, rs, they met Eowyn, whose eyes grew when she saw Haldir descending more or less gracefully down the stairs.
Tears were running down her face and it was distorted with anger.
“What are you doing up and about?” she barked at Haldir.
“I am going to join Theoden’s army. I am going with you to Gondor.”
“You are not going with us! You are going with them! Theoden wont let me come. They said they had no use for a woman among then!” she shouted at the elf.
Haldir looked at her. “But you are the shieldmaiden and surely know how to use your sword in battle, you would be an asset to the army.” Haldir had never understood the concept of man, not wanting their women to participate in a battle.
“That is of no matter to them!” she wiped her tears away and looked down the stairs in direction of the great hall.
“My lady, let me enlist and then we will meet in my room again and see if we can find a way to take you with us.” Haldir smiled at her.
She threw him a disbelieving look and went further up the stairs.

Theoden was not too sure about Haldir’s wish to join them, but every sword or bow was badly needed and so he granted Haldir the wish and wrote his name down for the troop to Gondor.
When Haldir walked back to his room his heart was lighter than it had been for weeks. Finally he was moving on again and moving in direction of Legolas. All of his thoughts were occupied and filled with images of his husband and what joy it would be see him again.
He found Eowyn in his room, like they had agreed to and later, after a long talk, Eowyn left the chamber with a smile on her face.


To Legolas it seemed to take hours until Aragorn and Gimli left him in peace, sitting beside him muttering about the child, what they had heard and how wonderful life could be. Gimli had been talking to him, but Legolas did not have the strength or will to answer. Later the dwarf had quietly wiped the tears off the elf’s face and had moved over to his sleeping area, snoring only minutes later.
Aragorn had long left by then and joined his men and friends at the campfire.
It must have been around midnight, when the camp had at last grew silent, apart from the watch that circled the camp now and then.
Legolas’ eyes were fixed on the stars above him and he thought about his life and future. But honestly he saw no future. Every time he found this little bit of peace and his mind relaxed, he felt this pulling. Haldir’s presence calling out for him. It was nearly like when Haldir had still been alive and a long way from him. This ever lasting bond they shared, that confirmed them of their love and strength. It made his heart clench and tears well up in his eyes. Some time ago it would have shamed him deeply to be so weak and even worse to show this weakness to others. But nothing of that seemed to matter to him any more. His world had shattered and all he wanted was peace. Endless peace.
He would try and keep going until his child was born and then let his soul travel to Mando’s halls.
He was glad that he had Gimli’s promise to look after the child and was sure the dwarf would make a loving and just father. The grief for his husband was slowly but steadily taking his will to live and his strength. He could feel it every time he had to use his bow, every time he mounted a horse or had to walk for a long time. His body failed him now more and more often. It was only a question of time until it would cease to function.
After a while Legolas eyes took the vacant expression of sleep and in his dreams there was Haldir calling out for him. He was standing amidst a battle before a city wall, waving his arms at him. Shouting something. And then he came running towards him, opening his arms, catching him, holding him and moving his lips gently over his face while the fight went on around them. But here in his dreams they were safe and nothing could harm them. It was only them.

Gimli woke from the sound of a strangled sob, coming from where Legolas was laying.
He got up immediately and crouched beside the elf, gently shaking him.
“Hey, crazy elf! Wake up. It’s only a dream! Legolas, please wake up!” worry shone on the dwarf’s face as he watched the dark blue eyes coming back into focus.
“You had me worried there for a moment!” Gimli smiled at the elf. “A nightmare?”
Legolas shook his head and sat up wearily.
“What was it?” the dwarf insisted.
But Legolas didn’t answer him straight away. Instead his hands went to his braids and with trembling fingers undid them one by one. The braided hair waved unlike his other hair and Legolas bowed his head and let it fall before his face like a curtain.
Gimli shuddered watching the elf. To him it seemed like Legolas was not only unbraiding his hair but instead by doing so degrading himself from warrior to a plain citizen.
Gimli would have none of it. He went over to where his pack lay and removed a fine silver comb, he usually used to tend to is beard, and stood behind Legolas.