Sex, Drugs, and Orcish Theatre
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,022
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,022
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Elf Lust
Chapter 6
"Well you certainly seemed to enjoy being humiliated by me," said Kalina, unbuckling her strap-on.
"Nrghh," was the extent of the response Legolas could manage at this point. He felt distinctly violated and irreversibly dirty. Yet inexplicably he had relished every last minute of it.
"Want untying?"
"Pleaf?" he replied, his mouth muffled by a pillow. Kalina walked over and straddled the elf's back and untied his wrists. She slipped off him and allowed him to roll over, then lay down beside him.
"You are easily the most filthy, depraved, and immoral being I have ever met. I think that I quite possibly love you," said Legolas gazing at Kalina in awe.
"Well, you clearly haven't run away screaming, which is definitely in your favor," said Kalina, smoothing back Legolas's tangled hair.
"Does my mistress require anything else?" asked Legolas, half dreading the response.
"That Shire weed you were bringing me earlier would go down well right about now," replied Kalina leisurely.
Marginally disappointed that this was all she desired, he got up and fetched the weed from where he dropped it when ambushed. When he returned he found Kalina in the process of putting on the clothes she had earlier.
"Aww!"
"Calm yourself, fuck-puppet. I should probably make an appearance before anyone gets curious where I've got. And
you, for that matter," replied Kalina. "Here, give me a hand with my chain mail."
"Staying for a spliff?" asked Legolas.
"Roll a couple of them then meet me back at festivities. I'll go on ahead and pretend I'm being sociable. Hopefully everyone will be drunk enough to amuse me." Kalina adjusted her chain mail, then grabbed her cloak." See you soon," she added, kissing Legolas lightly on the lips before leaving.
Legolas sat back down on the bed. He had a hideous feeling that he was verging on something akin to infatuation over Kalina. She was... well, seemingly as evil as was elfly possible, which on a grand scale wasn't particularly evil. But still Kalina possessed a sadistic streak that would probably give the Witch King of Angmar cause for concern. He rolled himself a joint, smoked it slowly, and then dredged up his clothes that were scattered around the room.
Celeborn opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. Searing pain shot through his head and there was a vile taste lurking in his mouth. He shut his eyes again and rolled over.
"Nrghh... Galadriel?" he mumbled, feeling a body curled up next to him. "Quit stealing the covers," he muttered, yanking the bedding and rolling away. And into someone else.
"Oh good! You're awake!" said Haldir snuggling up to Celeborn.
"Wuh?" Panic began to set in. Celeborn edged away and felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist and another set of waist and definite indignation that behind him was an aroused male.
Celeborn's head snapped around and found the heir to Gondor smiling at him.
"Ekgh?? ARGH!! NO!!"
"That's not what you were saying earlier," intoned Haldir suggestively into Celeborn's ear.
"In fact you were really enjoying yourself, wasn't he?" agreed Aragorn.
Celeborn whimpered and froze. His head hurt, he felt manhandled, and on top of all that was a horrible sensation of satisfaction indicating that on some level he'd enjoyed it. At the same time, though, gay sex was better than no sex...
"Was... was... I any good?" he hazarded.
"Truly divine," said Haldir, stroking Celeborn's hair.
"Can we do it again? I don't seem to remember much of it..."
"We'd love to but we really have to be somewhere," said Haldir quickly, starting to get out of bed with suspicious haste. "We'll get in touch with you at some point and hook up again... right Aragorn?"
"Wuh?" Aragorn looked vaguely annoyed. Celeborn had started to fondle him and Aragorn was quite enjoying it.
"We need to meet up with Legolas," snapped Haldir, pulling his pretty light blue robe back on.
"Why?" asked Aragorn distractedly, snuggling up to Celeborn who had turned and wrapped his legs around Aragorn's waist and was gently caressing his face.
"Because! It's important, you short-lived man-slut!"
"I'm sure he can catch up with you later, Haldir... and maybe he'd care to join us later?"
Haldir rolled his eyes, annoyed that the fickle human had fallen for his grandfather-in-law to be before Haldir got to have his way with him. 'Still,' he mused, 'at least I got to brutally penetrate Celeborn before he came to. There may be something to this necrophilia... except for the maggots... and the smell... hmmm... okay, maybe just raping dead drunks...' Haldir's remaining morality slapped his frontal lobe and quickly evicted his brief thoughts on corpse raping.
"Right, I'll see you gentlemen later," said Haldir. The writhing mass under the blankets declined to reply as Haldir let himself out.
"Well you certainly seemed to enjoy being humiliated by me," said Kalina, unbuckling her strap-on.
"Nrghh," was the extent of the response Legolas could manage at this point. He felt distinctly violated and irreversibly dirty. Yet inexplicably he had relished every last minute of it.
"Want untying?"
"Pleaf?" he replied, his mouth muffled by a pillow. Kalina walked over and straddled the elf's back and untied his wrists. She slipped off him and allowed him to roll over, then lay down beside him.
"You are easily the most filthy, depraved, and immoral being I have ever met. I think that I quite possibly love you," said Legolas gazing at Kalina in awe.
"Well, you clearly haven't run away screaming, which is definitely in your favor," said Kalina, smoothing back Legolas's tangled hair.
"Does my mistress require anything else?" asked Legolas, half dreading the response.
"That Shire weed you were bringing me earlier would go down well right about now," replied Kalina leisurely.
Marginally disappointed that this was all she desired, he got up and fetched the weed from where he dropped it when ambushed. When he returned he found Kalina in the process of putting on the clothes she had earlier.
"Aww!"
"Calm yourself, fuck-puppet. I should probably make an appearance before anyone gets curious where I've got. And
you, for that matter," replied Kalina. "Here, give me a hand with my chain mail."
"Staying for a spliff?" asked Legolas.
"Roll a couple of them then meet me back at festivities. I'll go on ahead and pretend I'm being sociable. Hopefully everyone will be drunk enough to amuse me." Kalina adjusted her chain mail, then grabbed her cloak." See you soon," she added, kissing Legolas lightly on the lips before leaving.
Legolas sat back down on the bed. He had a hideous feeling that he was verging on something akin to infatuation over Kalina. She was... well, seemingly as evil as was elfly possible, which on a grand scale wasn't particularly evil. But still Kalina possessed a sadistic streak that would probably give the Witch King of Angmar cause for concern. He rolled himself a joint, smoked it slowly, and then dredged up his clothes that were scattered around the room.
Celeborn opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. Searing pain shot through his head and there was a vile taste lurking in his mouth. He shut his eyes again and rolled over.
"Nrghh... Galadriel?" he mumbled, feeling a body curled up next to him. "Quit stealing the covers," he muttered, yanking the bedding and rolling away. And into someone else.
"Oh good! You're awake!" said Haldir snuggling up to Celeborn.
"Wuh?" Panic began to set in. Celeborn edged away and felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist and another set of waist and definite indignation that behind him was an aroused male.
Celeborn's head snapped around and found the heir to Gondor smiling at him.
"Ekgh?? ARGH!! NO!!"
"That's not what you were saying earlier," intoned Haldir suggestively into Celeborn's ear.
"In fact you were really enjoying yourself, wasn't he?" agreed Aragorn.
Celeborn whimpered and froze. His head hurt, he felt manhandled, and on top of all that was a horrible sensation of satisfaction indicating that on some level he'd enjoyed it. At the same time, though, gay sex was better than no sex...
"Was... was... I any good?" he hazarded.
"Truly divine," said Haldir, stroking Celeborn's hair.
"Can we do it again? I don't seem to remember much of it..."
"We'd love to but we really have to be somewhere," said Haldir quickly, starting to get out of bed with suspicious haste. "We'll get in touch with you at some point and hook up again... right Aragorn?"
"Wuh?" Aragorn looked vaguely annoyed. Celeborn had started to fondle him and Aragorn was quite enjoying it.
"We need to meet up with Legolas," snapped Haldir, pulling his pretty light blue robe back on.
"Why?" asked Aragorn distractedly, snuggling up to Celeborn who had turned and wrapped his legs around Aragorn's waist and was gently caressing his face.
"Because! It's important, you short-lived man-slut!"
"I'm sure he can catch up with you later, Haldir... and maybe he'd care to join us later?"
Haldir rolled his eyes, annoyed that the fickle human had fallen for his grandfather-in-law to be before Haldir got to have his way with him. 'Still,' he mused, 'at least I got to brutally penetrate Celeborn before he came to. There may be something to this necrophilia... except for the maggots... and the smell... hmmm... okay, maybe just raping dead drunks...' Haldir's remaining morality slapped his frontal lobe and quickly evicted his brief thoughts on corpse raping.
"Right, I'll see you gentlemen later," said Haldir. The writhing mass under the blankets declined to reply as Haldir let himself out.