Beautiful Nightmare

With a rush of air and the blink of an eye he was gone! Haldir disappeared over the edge of the tree house and in horror I fell backward, tumbling hard to the floor as my corset prevented me from bending at the waist. Staggering to my hands and knees I crawled quickly to the edge of the floor and peered over into the dizzying plunge to the ground below, pressing myself as close to the security of the floor as possible. Holy god, where was he? There wasn’t a nasty mess of splattered body parts and innards as I was terrified there was going to be scattered over the forest floor, but I didn’t see Haldir hovering anywhere in midair, nor did I see that he was holding onto the edge of the tree house. Then, suddenly, he came swinging into view, startling me so bad I swear I jumped out of my skin and had a heart attack at the same time! He was not harmed, nor was he distressed in any way like I was; he was climbing down what I knew to be a ladder, though I didn’t see what he was holding onto at first. The force of his plunge had pushed him under the talan as he caught the ladder, swinging him out and under and out and under until his weight stilled its dizzying motion and he looked up at me as he climbed down.

“Sarah!” He called. It thrilled me to hear him say something I could understand—whether or not it was only my name—but I was too busy trying not to vomit over the edge of the tree house to relish in the sound of his voice saying my name. The ground seemed like it was a hundred or more feet below me, and once more the delicate structure upon which I clung for dear life suddenly appeared to me to be about as supportive as a paper doll house to my destroyed nerves.

The tree swayed in a slight breeze. I felt sickness wretch into my throat and my head swam until I couldn’t see anything. I could feel how tightly I clung to the floor, because my knuckles were sore and I could hardly breathe through my corset as I pressed myself to the floor. Another gust of wind and I would lose it, I knew!

“Sarah!” Haldir called once more, but I couldn’t open my eyes to look at him, nor did I have the courage to lift my face off the floor enough to shake my head and tell him that I would, actually, prefer to stay in the tree house, on my bed, where I couldn’t feel the swaying of the tree, or see how far below the ground was. “Tula, Sarah, Tula sinome!” I was too sick to enrage myself at the chuckle I heard in his call. Then he could see me. Great! He’d probably seen me naked, and now he was looking at me like this! And I had only known him for, like… three… or four…ish days! The second man in my life whom I had any chance with, and already he had seen me at my most vulnerable. This condemning feeling along with my tremendous fear of the distance between the now formidably swaying tree house and solid ground did really make me want to vomit. But I couldn’t! Disgusting!

Therefore, keeping my eyes firmly shut I leaned my head out over the edge and shook my head wildly. “NO!” I screamed, tucking my head back onto the floor once more. There was a long moment of silence. Then, I heard him laugh, from so far below. It was not a chuckle, it was not a rude noise, it was a genuine laugh, as clear and hearty as any laugh could ever be, only sounding less like a human’s laugh and more like a mixture of all the nice sounds I had ever heard. It was because of this that I didn’t get too mad when I immediately realized he was laughing at me.

I didn’t hear anything for a while, other than the sound of the wind in the leaves of the trees. “Haldir?” I called, hoping to hear something from him. I wasn’t brave enough to open my eyes, but it made me nervous how silent and agile he was, able to sneak up on me at any moment. Memories of my father sneaking up behind me and tossing me into the swimming pool when I was little sprang to mind, and though they weren’t bad memories at all, they made me nervous. Sneaking up on me and grabbing me up seemed like the logical thing for Haldir to do, since I wouldn’t come down by myself. Oh, the thought of suddenly opening my eyes and seeing the ground swirling below me as I was balanced on Haldir’s shoulder made me sick to the stomach again.

“Haldir?” I called once more. I couldn’t hear anything for a moment. “Haldir!?” I shouted, frustrated by his silence.

Then, suddenly, I felt someone touch my shoulder, wrapping long hands across the front of my chest, one across my back. The contact startled me and I jumped, rolling onto my side quickly, opening my eyes though I feared to do so. But instead of seeing Haldir there like I expected, I saw another face, one that was familiar… one I recognized as the young elf who had first carried me into the elven forest when I had been shot in the snow what seemed like ages ago. It had been a few days since I’d first met this elf and my mind had soaked up so much information that it was tiring, but I remembered this elf’s name as he looked down at me and smiled.

“Rumil?” I asked breathlessly. Rumil nodded quickly and smiled wider, lifting me up steadily with his hands till across my chest and back so that I wouldn’t lose balance awfully. I scrambled to my feet, holding onto his arm for extra support. “Hello!” I smiled, keeping my grip tight on his sleeve even as he removed his hands. Then I heard Haldir from down below.

“I dass carnen?” He called, though his voice was not far enough away to be on the ground.

“Ta thand…” Rumil replied. He leaned over the edge of the talan and looked down. Not being able to imagine anything else but the horrible scene of him slipping and falling forward, I turned my head away and closed my eyes, gripping his sleeve tighter. “Re gorga, Haldir.”

Rumil retreated from the edge and somehow managed to pry me away from him, setting me aside, saying something in their strange language that I couldn’t understand, but I got the feeling it was supposed to reassure me. I’m sure that would have worked much better had I understood what Rumil was saying. “Uuma dela, Sarah.” He said, smiling. He looked at me expectantly. I scrambled for something to say, but couldn’t think of how to reply. All I could do was nod my head in an awkward way while trying to look like I totally knew what he had just told me to do. Apparently satisfied, Rumil turned away to the edge of the tree house and looked down to Haldir who was still below.

“Lle merna amin koluva he vanwa?” He asked.

“Uma, uma…” Haldir’s head suddenly appeared over the edge of the floor, and he looked from Rumil to me, though I was slowly beginning to shake my head no. Something told me they were plotting an evil plan to get me on the ground, and I wasn’t going to have it! I was in no mental condition to be faced with death by falling off a tree house! Haldir smiled a little, chuckling at how pathetic I must have looked pressed against a wall of the tree house, barely able to open my eyes for fear of vomiting and dizziness. “Sarah, Sarah…” He said calmly, climbing higher so that he could reach out his hand toward me. Yep, I knew it! They were going to try to get me down that ladder!

“No, no!” I said, shaking my head wildly. “No, no, no, no, no, no…!” Rumil glanced down at Haldir and their eyes met deviously.

“Sarah, lle natuluva varna, amin vesta…” Haldir cooed, tilting his head, beckoning to me with his elegant long fingers. I shook my head and again replied: “No…”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Sarah!” Haldir called curiously when he did not see the girl following him down the ladder. He looked, but did not see her until her black head peered over the edge of the talan, her eyes so wide that anyone would have seen the terror within them, even those who were not gifted with elvish sight. She was frightened! Haldir chuckeld to himself and called her name once more, but he received no reply. Instead, she withdrew and he could not see her.

It had not occurred to Haldir that this woman would be frightened of height, although he knew it was a common fear for humans to bear. Nor did he consider her mental fragility which could be put in jeopardy lest he aid her.

“Haldir, what are you doing?” Haldir heard Rumil approach, and turned to him with a sigh, gesturing with his hand toward the talan above them. Rumil looked upon him questioningly. “What are you—“

“Sarah…” Haldir said quickly. “…she will not come down.”

Rumil furrowed his brow as if he was taken aback. He seemed to be as surprised as Haldir to learn that the girl feared great heights. “She is frightened to come down?” He asked, “Or does she simply refuse?”

“She is frightened.” Haldir replied with a grin, “to such an extent that she cannot open her eyes to see the ground below her.”

Rumil scoffed, “You jest!” He said, “We found her running about half naked in the snow and now you tell me she is frightened of heights?” but Haldir shook his head.

“Listen, for I tell only the truth.” Haldir said quietly, then lifted his hand to his cheek, calling: “Come, Sarah, Come here!” There was a brief moment of stillness wherein the two elves waited expectantly for an answer. Then, Sarah’s head appeared over the edge, her eyes shut tight, and her knuckles white from the force with which she gripped the edge of the talan.

“NO!” She shouted, then as quickly as she had appeared, she disappeared.

Haldir chuckled and looked at Rumil, who was still looking up toward the talan. His mouth was open slightly in thought and amusement. The young elf allowed a small smile to play across his lips before a sudden, hearty laugh poured forth from his belly. Haldir sighed, grinning, and shook his head. “Did I not tell you she will not come down? And I pray you silence yourself or the poor child will burst into tears upon the sound of your laughter. She is—delicate.”

“I think we may coax her down yet, brother.” Rumil said thoughtfully. “Though it will not be unlike catching a rabbit.” And Haldir laughed, stifling the mirthful noise with his hand as he bowed his head and nodded. “We must not frighten her over the edge!” He chuckled, “I fear that I would miss if I tried to catch her from so far below!” He looked up, folding his arms across his chest. “She must not know that we are going to carry her over the edge, or she will frighten.” He said, “Go to her… I will follow from below.” And he sighed, climbing a few steps up the mithril ladder. He looked over his shoulder and asked with mirth: “Do you think it would be wise to tell Sarah there is a winding staircase which she could simply descend?” Rumil laughed silently and shook his head quickly.

“No, no, Haldir,” He replied, “She must overcome her fear somehow if she is to remain in this wood very much longer!” and Haldir grinned. Rumil leapt onto the side of the ladder and maneuvered his way over his brother, quickly reaching the talan above. When he had disappeared over the edge and Sarah’s voice could be heard no doubt defying whatever Rumil was telling her to do, Hadlir called up: “Do you have her, Rumil?”

“Yes, I have her.” Rumil’s voice answered, and Haldir climbed higher. “She is indeed frightened, Haldir.” Rumil finished, and Haldir shook his head with slight frustration. For the sake of bother their well beings, she need only to climb down the ladder! Haldir had nearly reached the top of the mithril ladder when he heard Rumil tell Sarah that she had nothing to fear, and that she need not worry. Then, Rumil looked over the edge as Haldir continued to climb and asked if he was ready to receive the girl. “Are you ready for me to carry her over?” He asked.

“Yes, yes…” Looking over the edge, it was all Haldir could do to keep himself from laughing as he saw Sarah pressed against the wall of the talan, her eyes as wide as a doe, darting from Rumil’s face to the floor, and then to Haldir as if she were afraid of the both of them. She knew what they were going to do, but it had to be done. And with the both of them, carrying her down the ladder would not be as frightening of a thing as she clearly anticipated it to be. “Sarah…Sarah…” Haldir cooed, soothing his voice until it he knew it would beckon her to him, but instead she shook her head fervently, closing her eyes. He reached out his hand and motioned with his fingers, smiling softly. “Sarah, you need not be afraid, I promise…” He cooed, but the girl shook her head.

“No…” She said firmly. Haldir could see that she was torn, for her longing to see the elven city was more than obvious, but her fear of the distance to the ground kept her solid to the talan. She bit her lip and wrung her hands before her, standing as close to the wall as was physically possible for her to stand.

“Rumil—“ Haldir whispered quietly, never removing his eyes from Sarah’s as she stared wide eyed at him with terror. “Rumil, slowly, bring her closer.”

Rumil held out his hand to Sarah, but she shook her head slowly and pointed over the edge of the talan. Obviously, she was telling them she would not climb down, and they did not know how to tell her that she would not have to climb down—they would carry her instead.

“Perhaps, Haldir, she would be apt to come to you…?” Rumil asked.

“Perhaps…” Haldir agreed. He flicked his chin and Rumil turned slowly and disappeared beyond the talan, and Sarah gasped, covering her mouth with her small hands. But Haldir pulled himself fully onto the talan in one swift movement, taking care to keep the girl from spooking; he waited a moment. Sarah looked upon him long, tarrying where she stood, unsure of herself and of Haldir as he reached forth his hands and beckoned for her to come to him.

“Nothing will frighten you, I promise you this, Sarah…” He said sweetly, taking two steps forward. Sarah would have stepped back two steps, but she was already so close to the wall that she knew she could break through it if she pressed any harder. “Come here to me,” Haldir cooed, moving slowly closer, keeping his keen eyes melted with hers so that she could not look away from him. As she looked into his eyes, he watched her face calm, if only enough to slightly relieve the furrows in her brow.”Come here to me…” Gently, Haldir wrapped her writhing hands in his fingers and, keeping her eyes captured by his gaze, pulled her slowly away from the wall. Her lips parted, her breathing slowed, and before she could know, he pulled her close enough to him that her lips could very well have touched his if he bent his head only just enough to kiss her. The trust in her eyes as they flickered and her lashes fluttered—but never took her gaze from him—was endearing, and the blush that rose beneath her pale skin as he wrapped one arm tightly around her waist made him wish he could do more to make that delightful rosiness darken.

It was a strange feeling, and its sudden blow struck Haldir as if he had been struck by the girl herself—but he found himself leaning closer than he should have, touching her cheek with his own as he lifted her arms over his shoulders. Her cheek was warm and when he brushed his lips across her jaw, he could feel her skin go rosy and flush beneath his touch. This brought a smile to his face, though his brow furrowed slightly with a question he asked himself within as he placed a small kiss upon her cheek and her shoulders stiffened ever so slightly: What did he think he was doing? He could not help but kiss her, though, even as reason tried to pull him away. Sarah released a long breath, turning her cheek into his kiss as he brushed her skin with his lips once more.

Haldir hesitated, his lips dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. He looked at her face and found that her eyes were wide open, watching him with a worried brow, her full lips open ever so slightly, and ready for him to continue. How he wished he could kiss them! The rosy flush gracing her pale cheeks was more inviting than any feature in any woman he had ever known, and the timid shyness glistening like tears in the corners of her eyes ensnared him, for he longed to show her that there was nothing she need weep for or fear anymore. He could show her this, but when she turned her cheek and met his gaze fully—when their lips were breathlessly near—he pulled his face away and shook his head slightly, a gesture to control his longing rather than have her notice, but she did notice and her wide eyes tore themselves away from him woefully, her lips pressing firmly together as tears gathered and lingered on the brinks of her lashes. Haldir could say nothing, for he knew that she would not understand him if he spoke, but he wished to tell her that he felt he could not know her … for reasons he did not know.

Sarah’s fingers ran delicately through his hair, her arms still wrapped around his shoulders, her eyes watching him with tears that threatened to fall as they flickered over his face, undoubtedly in an attempt to say something that he, too, could understand. Haldir sighed lightly, unsure of what he should do next—this confusion was something he had never encountered and it ran so deeply through his entire body, battering the confident shell he enveloped himself within and prided more than anything about himself. “Forgive me, dear one…” He said finally, never looking away from her captivating gaze. “But I cannot.”

Sarah looked upon him intently for a moment longer as she read his face with her wide eyes. Then, she nodded slowly and finally looked away. Haldir lifted her into his arms, and she laid her head upon his shoulder, closing her eyes as he climbed over the edge of the talan onto the silver mithril ladder. Haldir’s heart was suddenly very heavy, and his torment grew, for he wished to know the girl. To know her was his assigned duty, though he wished to know more than her history or origin—he wanted to know her body and heart like he had never wanted to know another’s, and this longing confused him, for he had lived so long without it. He wished he could tell her something that she would understand, but she spoke no tongue of Elves or Men, and he spoke not her strange language. Haldir felt her arms tighten around his neck as if she was embracing him tenderly, nestling her head in his chest. The feel of her body pressed against him was soothing, and Haldir did not want to release her when they had come to the ground.

Sarah did not open her eyes for a moment.

The girl looked up at him finally, and her glistening eyes shone translucent with piercing color in the light of the morning. “It’s alright, you know…” She said in her chirpy tongue, though, of course, he did not know what she said and only looked upon her silently until she blinked and nodded her head toward the ground, loosening the hold over his shoulders. She opened her mouth as if to speak more, but closed her lips firmly and looked away as Haldir lowered her to the ground. She busied herself momentarily by brushing the folds of her skirt straight again, and adjusting the gathered sleeves of her chemise.

“Well now, Haldir…” Rumil chuckled, and Haldir winced, lifting his chin and looking away from Sarah to face his younger brother.

“Rumil, I thank you for your aid,” Haldir said, suddenly curtly, and Rumil’s grin widened in a mischievous way. “But I would like to accompany Sarah—alone, into the city. Not for any reason that you might think, but for the sake of her timidity.”

“And what might Sarah have to be timid for, Haldir?” Rumil chuckled, stepping away with a nod of his head. “Ah, but I shall go and trouble your retreat not.”

Haldir bowed his head slightly, but he could feel the irritation within him at his brother’s bold assumptions—though Rumil knew it not, he had every reason to assume what he assumed—and he could say nothing more lest he cause a dispute. Rumil turned and walked away swiftly, disappearing into the trees; Haldir could hear him retreat through the branches as he caught them, and it was not until he could not hear Rumil anymore that he finally turned to face Sarah once more.

The girl looked up at him with wide eyes and smiled awkwardly, reaching out her hand. Just as awkwardly, her shoulder was raised in some kind of attempt to perhaps hide her tilted face as she looked upon him with her chin turned into her shoulder. Haldir smiled warmly; amused by the blush on her cheeks and the thought of what feelings she might have gotten from he and Rumil’s debate. They had said her name enough for her to know that they were indeed speaking of her. “I apologize, my lady.” He said gently, lifting Sarah’s chin with his thumb. Her eyes faltered, keeping a steady gaze with the ground, but she finally lifted them to his face and his heart melted within his breast. Such wide, colored depths flicked with blue and gold, shaded by long, dark lashes; they made his heart warm.

Haldir smiled once more and pulled her toward him as he took a few steps back. “Come, I shall take you into Caras Galadhon. And you will see many, wonderful sights, for there is no fairer city in elvendom.”

Sarah nodded, though he knew she did not know what he said. He wondered why she was so willing to pretend she understood him rather than asking him to explain. But thinking upon it no longer than half a moment, Haldir turned and led her after him, locking her fingers with his own until she grasped him tight. He looked over his shoulder. Sarah looked upon him with eyes that were not wide with fear or nervousness, but something akin to adoration.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The feeling of his lips touching my skin, which felt like it was on fire from how close he stood, sent chills through my body, and I could feel my hair stand on end, and all of my muscles tense with a torturous anticipation. He looked at me. The intensity of his grey eyes shocked me. But I was entranced by them for what I knew in that moment would be forever, because there were no other eyes that I wanted to look into ever again. I only wanted to see him and be near him, and never leave his side. I stiffened in his arms as he placed another kiss on my cheek.