Because of You, I Am Afraid

Chapter 6

A/n: Thank you to all my reviewers again, your feedback is appreciated very much. enjoy this next chapter, Enjoy. and by the way, the next chapter will b veeerrrryyyy interesting…..but you have to read this one first! Lol let me know what you think.

Their return to Lorien had not proved as quiet as they had hoped. A large crowd had gathered to greet the returning wardens, the Lord and Lady of Lorien amongst them. After living with the men for so long, she found the peace of Lorien to be a little unnerving at first, but her soul welcomed it. Her soul, she knew, would always belong in Lorien.

“Imrhienna”

She looked up from her contemplation at the sound of her name, to see the Lady of Lorien herself approaching her. She swallowed hard, before dropping into as much of a curtsy as her practical skirts would allow.

She felt a hand come to rest underneath her chin, forcing her head up.

“You have left us for a long time, Imrhienna. It is good to see you have returned to us.”

Nothing, she noticed, was said of the Marchwarden’s banishing her. Well, it would not be she who brought it up then, like a whining child.

“Thank you Lady,’ she murmured, keeping her eyes downcast. The Lady’s face was serene, as she turned to face Rumil, who traveled in a wagon behind her. “And dear Rumil, can you not keep yourself out of trouble for more than a few days?” she asked, smiling gently.

Rumil smiled his most devilish smile back, not looking in the least chastened.

“It was not my fault this time, Great Lady, the whole brigade was trapped by three score or more orcs! And I was the only one who had managed to avoid capture, being as nimble footed as I am, so without a thought for my own safety, I did what any warden would do! I fought the orcs off, one by one, until…”

“Until the Marchwarden steps in and prevents you from filling the Lady’s ears with such lies.”

Haldir, as if appearing from nowhere, was suddenly at the wagons side.

The Lady smiled bemusedly.

“Perhaps you could finish telling me the tale of Rumil and the three hundred orcs another time, Rumil. I must admit, I am a little confused as to why you were so badly injured. Surely this must have been relatively easy for you, given that last time you were injured, I believe you said the number was something near to five hundred?” The Lady asked, smiling.

‘More like he fell out of his own flet,” Haldir muttered under his breathe. Imrhienna looked amused.

Rumil noticed her smile.

“Ahh, you are all sullying the ears of my new beloved with your profane tales! Do not believe a word of them, Imrhienna, for my word is-”

“About as good as your sword arm at this stage,” Lord Celeborn remarked, coming up to inspect the condition of Rumil for himself.

Rumil scowled.

Haldir managed a small smile himself, before he caught the eye of Imrhienna. Instantly, his face returned to its original cool mask, and looked away. As did she.

“Bring him to the healing talans, and I will complete healing him there. Although- ” Galadriel turned her omniscient gaze to Imrhienna once more, who averted her eyes once more. “Imrhienna has done much good in such a short amount of time.”

“Nothing our own healers could not have managed, I am sure, had Rumil not been so stubborn,” Haldir spoke then, for the first time in a while, and the Lady looked at him in surprise for his vehemanance, before she narrowed her eyes at him slightly, no words needed in conveying her disappointment at her Marchwarden’s behaviour.

Haldir had the grace to look chastened.

“Thank you, My Lady,” she murmured, dropping into another curtsy.

Galadriel nodded. “I would see you later child, in my garden perhaps. I wish to speak with you.”

Imrhienna nodded.

“And Haldir, I will see you now,” she said, before following the wardens who carried Rumil to the talans.

Haldir followed, but stopped for a moment, turning to face Imrhienna. “Orophin will take you to a talan. Stay there until someone fetches you.” He bit out, before turning back to the Lady.

“Do not concern yourself Haldir.” She retorted, hating how he made her appear such a fool in front of the Lady, but finding she could not stop herself from speaking up now. “I am only here for Rumil.”

He shook his head slightly, unable to think of anything to say, before turning and stalking after the Lady. Why did she always manage to have the final word?! And why, if he was so determined not to love her again, why did he hate himself for how cruel he had been?

&&&

‘Haldir, I must admit I am a little surprised and disappointed in you,” the Lady said, as she closed the door to Rumils room behind her. “I had thought that after all these years, you could move on from your bitterness enough to at least be civil towards Imrhienna. You owe her a debt for saving Rumil.”

“If I get too close, Lady, she will only cut me again.”

“And so you are content with seeing her with your brother?”

“The matter does not concern me. If he wants to become involved with the little hell cat, it is his hide.”

The Lady nodded sadly, before looking him straight in the eye.

“You are a fool, my Marchwarden. Why do you not admit that despite it all, it is not bitterness or anger or her rejection that keeps you from her again? Will you not see that the only thing keeping you from her arms is your fear?”

Haldir straightened his shoulders, his chin jerking up. “I am not afraid of her!”

The Lady shook her head. “Yes you are. You are afraid of losing her again, so afraid that you will not let yourself have her. And you fear her rejection. But tell me, Marchwarden, is seeing her in the arms of another not even more terrifying than your own loss of pride?”

Haldir did not answer.

“May I take my leave, now, Lady?” he asked, not meeting her gaze.

The Lady closed her eyes in a moment in defeat, before trying a different approach.

“You had no right to keep her from her home forests Haldir. From now on, she is welcome amongst us. Maybe it was I who was the fool to think the two of you could get through this. That you could overlook your own insecurity with her wanting something more out of her life. But know that from now on, there is only one thing keeping you from her. Yourself.”

He turned and walked away, trying to tell himself that she had not stripped five hundred years of misunderstanding and anger into a few sentences of truth, and that she had not seen right into the heart of the matter and laid it bare before him. Or for that matter, right into the heart of him.

Insecurity, fear? Not I, he thought, as he pulled himself even straighter, and continued to stalk to his own talan, slamming the door behind him. Not I.

&(&(

She waited in her talan until she found she could not stand it any more, and she threw herself from the room, running along the many paths of Lorien as though she had never left.

Very little had changed. The trees were taller, there were faces she did not recognize, but the spirit of the city still recognized her. At the end of one of the many paths she had trodden, Rumil waited, smiling, before striding over.

“You are healed!” she exclaimed, a little unused to seeing him mobile, after all the time she had spent seeing him in bed.

“I am up and about once more, dear Imrhienna. Thanks to your divine skill, and that of the Lady, I am once more invincible!”

He thumped his hands to his chest, and she struggled not to laugh. He threw his arm around her back, pulling her to him.

“If you were invincible, then how did you become injured in the first place?” she asked wryly, as she let herself be drawn against him, trying to suppress the wrongness she felt at being in his arms.

“Ah, nothing but a clever ploy to meet you once more, fair Imrhienna,” he said, before dropping his head to kiss her.

She turned her head slightly, and his lips met her cheek. He drew away, a thread of surprise in his eyes. Then understanding.

“I’m sorry Rumil, I…the Lady is waiting.” She tore herself from his arms, and with an apologetic smile, she made her way to the Lady’s talan.

Rumil sighed and shook his head a little. He would give her time. For it seemed that she was not as over Haldir as she would like all, including herself to believe.

And in the mean time, he would simply try to win her over, he thought, as he strode away, a new life in his step. His cold older brother did not deserve her, if he could not see her.

She hesitated outside of the talan, more than a little unsure of what would happen if she entered. Steeling herself, she knocked, and heard the Lady’s gentle voice bid her to enter. She opened the door, and stepped inside, and found the Lady smiling gently over at her from her place on the balcony.

“Come, sit with me,” she murmured, and her feet, almost unbidden, found their way to stand beside the Lady. She looked out over the city.

“You have done a great thing in healing Rumil, Imrhienna” Galadriel said, before turning to look at Imrhienna.

She reddened slightly. “I am a healer, Lady. I did what any would do.”

Galadriel shook her head gently. “There are not many who would face the Marchwarden’s wrath for one they barely knew. Especially if they had parted under the circumstances that you and Haldir did.”

Imrhienna could not meet the Lady’s eyes, she kept them on the city below her. Galadriel turned her to face her, her hand forcing her chin up to look at her, her eyes searching, and smiling slightly at what she found.

“You are not meek like you once were Imrhienna. It was perhaps, besides your stubbornness, your only failing.”

“It is difficult to be meek when surrounded by village men, Lady,” she murmured. The Lady nodded in agreement.

“You have changed much in your time away from us, Imrhienna.”

“Not so much,” she murmured in reply, knowing the Lady could see through her like water.

“You still love him,” Galadriel stated, softly, and once more, Imrhienna turned away.

“I do not feel for him what I once did.”

“No, it has only gotten stronger. Foolish child, do you think that Rumil can replace Haldir in your affections?” Galadriel asked gently, not taking her eyes off of her for a minute. It made her most uncomfortable.

“I do not seek to replace, Lady. I seek to forget.”

Galadriel nodded sadly. “It should never have been taken this far.” she said, before turning back to face the city again. “You are welcome in our city, your home. You always have been.”

“I thank you, Lady, but the Village is my home now.”

The Lady nodded sadly once more. “Very well then. But know you are welcome.”

Imrhienna turned to leave then, when she heard the voice of the Lady following her.

“One more thing, Imrhienna.”

Imrhienna turned to face the Lady once more.

“If it is Haldir you seek to forget, than why did you come back?”

And in all honesty, Imrhienna could not answer her.