Lord Of The Rings Parody
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-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
1,390
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
1,390
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 5
Legolas: Aw now that’s much better Lets switch to Hmmm? Should we talk about Gandalf going to Rhoan and getting drunk or about Frodo having to deal with annoying people poking through his stuff and having to have extra watch. Even intrusting his cousin Merry to watch the party as he goes to his Study to try and get a little RNR. I think I will talk about that Yeah so Frodo is sitting in his study and Mrs. SB we will call her cause that’s what Frodo and Merry call her comes bursting in the door holding the plastic spoons looking very insane like someone who is about to blow smoke out of there ears and this is kind of scary to Frodo but he doesn’t make any sign that he is bothered.
Mrs. SB: SPOON! ( breaths fire out of her mouth or she would if she could) I have waited 55 years for this please and all I get is stupid SPOONS! Oh I would have pushed you in the lake too if you weren’t staying with the nasty Queers Up in Buckland. Why your nothing But a Brandybuck you queer!
Frodo: Your nothing but a hot head old Hobbit who is a witch,
Merry: Hey I’m a Brandybuck and we aren’t Queers that is so rude! Can I throw her out Frodo!?
Frodo: Please get her out of my sight and make sure you take out the Gold and Silver and jewels out of her Umbrella
Mrs. SB: ( Laughs nervously) Oh how did they get in there ( Merry takes the treasure out of her Umbrella and Boots her off the property )
Frodo: ( when he comes back) Lock the door after we get that lil Fat Hobbit Lad out of the Food pantry and don’t let anyone else in ever you hear me Merry?
Merry: yeah what about Sam and Pippin.
Frodo: They have keys ( so they cleaned out the place of Hobbits poking around trying to find Frodo secret stash of gold and food) Aw much better ( he sighs him and Merry sit down to tea) ( When there comes a knocking at the door) OH! ( he growls!)
Merry: Just ignore them and maybe they’ll give up and go home?
Gandalf: ( pounds on the door again waits still no answer)
Frodo: They sound really angry maybe we should go out the back door?
Merry: Nah they’ll go away! ( he was to happy eating his tea to want to move)
Gandalf: Hmmm ( he walks around to the window quietly) FRODO OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW AN I’LL BLASTED YOU OUT THE BACK DOOR OK!!!! ( Frodo leaps 3 feet in the air Merry flips the table over still holding a muffin and his tea cup)
Frodo: ahhhhhhhhhh it’s a talking Bread we are done for Merry run! ( He grabs Merry and runs out the door) ( aw they saw was Gandalfs dangling beard in the window since he was so tall Gandalf was now on the front step) Oh Gandalf come in hurry there is a Killer Beard on the lose! (Gandalf ducks in and Frodo shuts the door still holding Merry’s hand)
Merry: You can let go now really Frodo I’m ok
Frodo: Oh sorry (drops his hand)
Gandalf: (Feels he’ll just leave out that it was him) So how come you’re hanging out with Merry and Not Sam and how come Pippin isn’t with Merry? ( Frodo and Merry look at each other wondering that now too)
Frodo: Hmm I don’t know.
Merry: Those punks I bet there hanging out together while we hang out! ( Merry says putting a fist in the air)
Frodo: yeah and I bet I know what there doing to!
Merry: What going shopping and watching the Movies we wanted to see with either of them?
Frodo: No Skate boarding Sam would never do that to me.
Merry: Oh yeah.
Gandalf: Pardon me I have some important information to give!
Frodo: shh Gandalf its not polite to interrupted when other people are talking. So what where you saying Merry.
Merry: Just that we should go bust in on there little cheating Party!
Gandalf: ( roles his eyes) I wonder if this will actually get anywhere or we will be stuck in Hobbiton forever!? (Meanwhile Pippin and Sam)
Pippin: tell me why are we walking to the park?
Sam: It’s a nice day.
Pippin: I miss Merry why are we hanging out again?
Sam: I don’t know something about Merry and Frodo being a lone today or something.
Pippin: Those Cheats I won’t stand for it! Come on Sam Lets go! ( he Grabs Sam’s hand and rushes back to BagEnd. So while they argue over that Gandalf Kid naps Frodo and tells him tones of things about the Evil ring and how it must be destroyed.
Frodo: so explain this to me one more time I promise I will get it this time. ( Gandalf stares at Frodo amazed this was his 5th time!)
Gandalf: Ok Look Ring ( Points to it on the table)
Frodo: *Nods*
Gandalf: Ring Is Evil it must be taken out of the shire but I can’t do it cause I have too much power and Golden rings are ugly anyways. Gold Rings should be destroyed and replaced with white gold! Anyways! YOU have to do this Go to Rivendell and See Bilbo or something but the Ring can’t stay here all right!
Frodo: Nods so I get to go see Uncle Bilbo!
Gandalf: Maybe if you make it through( He mutters)
Frodo: what was that?
Gandalf: Oh Nothing.
Frodo: so how do you know the ring is bad?
Gandalf: ( flings the ring in the fire)
Frodo: Oh that’s really mature!
Gandalf: hold out your hand (he says taking the ring out of the fire with tongs)
Frodo: No way I’m not getting burned I’m not stupid!
Gandalf: JUST DO It or I’ll drop it down your pants!
Frodo: Fine ( says scared at this sudden anger holds out his hand and Gandalf drops the ring on his hand which is surpisely Cold) Hey this thing is cold and heavy
Gandalf: Yeah yeah is there any Markings on it or anything?
Frodo: Yeah it says Property of Saroun E Mordor…..
Gandalf: No Stop don’t say that Name! That’s bad see prove right there that its Bad so I am going to go now for along time wait a moment! ( he goes to the window and Picks up Sam sheers and all he was innocently clipping the hedges) Since you where cutting the grass so near my reach you will go with Frodo on his quest all right!
Sam: I’ll gladly go sure it could be fun
Gandalf: Great this should be kept a secret that you’re going until your gone all right! So now I’m going to go for years and years and years but don’t worry about me all right. And make sure you leave the shire at the last possible moment! All right see you all later!
(He goes out the door as fast as he can he didn’t want to stay near evil any longer then he had to)
Legolas: wow my Pinky is going to fall off I need another brake! This sure is a long story how did Tolkien Ever do it though I am glad he did Praise the Maker of me heheh and all Middle Earth Amen Good Day for now ) ( To Be continued)
Mrs. SB: SPOON! ( breaths fire out of her mouth or she would if she could) I have waited 55 years for this please and all I get is stupid SPOONS! Oh I would have pushed you in the lake too if you weren’t staying with the nasty Queers Up in Buckland. Why your nothing But a Brandybuck you queer!
Frodo: Your nothing but a hot head old Hobbit who is a witch,
Merry: Hey I’m a Brandybuck and we aren’t Queers that is so rude! Can I throw her out Frodo!?
Frodo: Please get her out of my sight and make sure you take out the Gold and Silver and jewels out of her Umbrella
Mrs. SB: ( Laughs nervously) Oh how did they get in there ( Merry takes the treasure out of her Umbrella and Boots her off the property )
Frodo: ( when he comes back) Lock the door after we get that lil Fat Hobbit Lad out of the Food pantry and don’t let anyone else in ever you hear me Merry?
Merry: yeah what about Sam and Pippin.
Frodo: They have keys ( so they cleaned out the place of Hobbits poking around trying to find Frodo secret stash of gold and food) Aw much better ( he sighs him and Merry sit down to tea) ( When there comes a knocking at the door) OH! ( he growls!)
Merry: Just ignore them and maybe they’ll give up and go home?
Gandalf: ( pounds on the door again waits still no answer)
Frodo: They sound really angry maybe we should go out the back door?
Merry: Nah they’ll go away! ( he was to happy eating his tea to want to move)
Gandalf: Hmmm ( he walks around to the window quietly) FRODO OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW AN I’LL BLASTED YOU OUT THE BACK DOOR OK!!!! ( Frodo leaps 3 feet in the air Merry flips the table over still holding a muffin and his tea cup)
Frodo: ahhhhhhhhhh it’s a talking Bread we are done for Merry run! ( He grabs Merry and runs out the door) ( aw they saw was Gandalfs dangling beard in the window since he was so tall Gandalf was now on the front step) Oh Gandalf come in hurry there is a Killer Beard on the lose! (Gandalf ducks in and Frodo shuts the door still holding Merry’s hand)
Merry: You can let go now really Frodo I’m ok
Frodo: Oh sorry (drops his hand)
Gandalf: (Feels he’ll just leave out that it was him) So how come you’re hanging out with Merry and Not Sam and how come Pippin isn’t with Merry? ( Frodo and Merry look at each other wondering that now too)
Frodo: Hmm I don’t know.
Merry: Those punks I bet there hanging out together while we hang out! ( Merry says putting a fist in the air)
Frodo: yeah and I bet I know what there doing to!
Merry: What going shopping and watching the Movies we wanted to see with either of them?
Frodo: No Skate boarding Sam would never do that to me.
Merry: Oh yeah.
Gandalf: Pardon me I have some important information to give!
Frodo: shh Gandalf its not polite to interrupted when other people are talking. So what where you saying Merry.
Merry: Just that we should go bust in on there little cheating Party!
Gandalf: ( roles his eyes) I wonder if this will actually get anywhere or we will be stuck in Hobbiton forever!? (Meanwhile Pippin and Sam)
Pippin: tell me why are we walking to the park?
Sam: It’s a nice day.
Pippin: I miss Merry why are we hanging out again?
Sam: I don’t know something about Merry and Frodo being a lone today or something.
Pippin: Those Cheats I won’t stand for it! Come on Sam Lets go! ( he Grabs Sam’s hand and rushes back to BagEnd. So while they argue over that Gandalf Kid naps Frodo and tells him tones of things about the Evil ring and how it must be destroyed.
Frodo: so explain this to me one more time I promise I will get it this time. ( Gandalf stares at Frodo amazed this was his 5th time!)
Gandalf: Ok Look Ring ( Points to it on the table)
Frodo: *Nods*
Gandalf: Ring Is Evil it must be taken out of the shire but I can’t do it cause I have too much power and Golden rings are ugly anyways. Gold Rings should be destroyed and replaced with white gold! Anyways! YOU have to do this Go to Rivendell and See Bilbo or something but the Ring can’t stay here all right!
Frodo: Nods so I get to go see Uncle Bilbo!
Gandalf: Maybe if you make it through( He mutters)
Frodo: what was that?
Gandalf: Oh Nothing.
Frodo: so how do you know the ring is bad?
Gandalf: ( flings the ring in the fire)
Frodo: Oh that’s really mature!
Gandalf: hold out your hand (he says taking the ring out of the fire with tongs)
Frodo: No way I’m not getting burned I’m not stupid!
Gandalf: JUST DO It or I’ll drop it down your pants!
Frodo: Fine ( says scared at this sudden anger holds out his hand and Gandalf drops the ring on his hand which is surpisely Cold) Hey this thing is cold and heavy
Gandalf: Yeah yeah is there any Markings on it or anything?
Frodo: Yeah it says Property of Saroun E Mordor…..
Gandalf: No Stop don’t say that Name! That’s bad see prove right there that its Bad so I am going to go now for along time wait a moment! ( he goes to the window and Picks up Sam sheers and all he was innocently clipping the hedges) Since you where cutting the grass so near my reach you will go with Frodo on his quest all right!
Sam: I’ll gladly go sure it could be fun
Gandalf: Great this should be kept a secret that you’re going until your gone all right! So now I’m going to go for years and years and years but don’t worry about me all right. And make sure you leave the shire at the last possible moment! All right see you all later!
(He goes out the door as fast as he can he didn’t want to stay near evil any longer then he had to)
Legolas: wow my Pinky is going to fall off I need another brake! This sure is a long story how did Tolkien Ever do it though I am glad he did Praise the Maker of me heheh and all Middle Earth Amen Good Day for now ) ( To Be continued)