Till end of Time

Even though I saw him differently from that night on, I still loved him and stayed in his household. Though by then I knew, I was not the one he loved nor ever would. I had learned my lesson; that I was a mere item of his household like a candle stick he had wrought or like a chair, which could be replaced.

With a burning heart I thought back to that night that never repeated itself, for Maeglin did not go out into battle again.

But once he came home, from the mines I guessed, because he had been absent for many days and his look was bewildered. Maeglin fell heavy into his chair and signed me to take his boots off. As his maid, I went down on my knees and slowly pulled them from his feet, while I softly rubbed his toes. A tradition that we had since many years.

Can you hold me?" He suddenly asked. I was startled, because my master never had shown any gentle emotion and in the last years, his mind had become very dark. Ever since Tuor had arrived in Gondolin, Maeglin hated him. He hated him as much as I hated Idril. She could have had everything I dreamed off but refused it.

I stayed kneeling on the floor, not daring to look up at him to ask if he was serious. Maeglin slid down from the chair and joined me on the ground. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. And he started to sob.

I held him like a child. The mighty smith and miner was clinging on to me and I only reached my arms around his waist to support him. We both kneeled for a long time on the stony ground and at some point he had no more tears to shed. He simply got up and locked himself into his chambers. Left me on the floor.

---

There was fire everywhere. I saw ellith run, holding their children in despair, trying to flee out of the town. But they were too late.

There are creatures that I have not seen in my worst nightmares. I crawl over the bodies of fallen friends and family members. I see our warriors fight against an enemy that clearly outnumbers them.

Turgon, my king! I barely can see him through the fog. He screams his orders at the top of his lungs. And then I run from the balrogs with their firery whips, I know my king is slain.

Maeglin is now king!

I try to hide behind a corner, though I need to leave. Orcs are rutting over the remains of my friend, the elleth that used to warm Ecthelion's bed. He is gone already.

And there he is. I see Maeglin standing on the wall, fighting with Tuor. The mortal, I hate him by now as much as my master does. Hearing nothing other than the taunts about him poisoned my heart too. I hear Erestor bellow orders into the night.

„To the tunnel! To the tunnel!" Erestor barks through the fog. Ecthelion had taken a balrog into the fountain, steam and fog comes over the blood stained white city.

Maeglin is halted in his movement, just a for the blink of an eye, when the word tunnel reaches his ear. I too am startled, for I had not known of an escape tunnel either.

Idril, she must have been behind it. Anger flashes through my heart like molted iron. Grabbing the sword of a fallen warrior I run up the way to the wall. I will stab Tuor.

My master shall be king!

This mortal filth needs to go, a half breed shall not be on the throne of the Noldor one day.

I rather fly than run to get to Maeglin's side, even though I am not a warrior maiden nor have I ever been trained. But the fear of losing my love makes me grow strong.

And then time stops. I see Maeglin's black eyes open wide, when he realizes that he has lost balance, when Tuor's sword pierces his armour.

I scream his name. Tuor leaves me, trying to find his elven wife and his son. I climb up the wall and drop to my knees when I see his body hitting thrice the ground, before it disappears into the fire.

Not hesitating, not taking time to grieve, I react. I do the only thing I can do. I stand straight upon the wall. Looking one more time behind me, gazing over the white walls of Gondolin, that now are painted red by the fires of the dragons and demons.

I turn back and look down into the fire.

I hear Idril's voice screaming, but I do not care about her anymore.

I take a big step to follow the one I love.

To be with him united at least in death, till the end of time.