Rides A Pale Horse

Title: Rides a Pale Horse
Author: Emmess
Rated: NC17
Genre: Romance, Angst, movie verse, to a point.
Summary: The Elves arrive at Helm's Deep
Warning: Angst level soars...tissue warning.

Rides a Pale Horse, Part VI


Haldir's bellows echoed throughout the city, breaking through the song and music, silencing the revelers in the feasting hall. Galadriel paled, covering her ears as the powerful voice rang in them, ringing even louder in her mind as the Captain of the Guard, in his panic, sent a screaming summons to her.

Orophin was on his feet and running just a split second before Rumil, followed closely by Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, who needed support from her husband to move, so strong was Haldir's grief and entreaty for aid.


Bursting into the talan, the sight of the slight human lying twisted on the bed, the sheets soaked with her blood and the wild-eyed Elf kneeling beside her brought Orophin to a sudden halt in the doorway, blocking the others' view.

"Orophin! Help her!" Haldir begged, holding her hand helplessly as Amaryn lay completely still, the shallow rise and fall of her chest the only indication that she still lived. Moving as quickly as his Elven feet would carry him, Orophin flew to the side of the bed, quickly taking stock of the situation. His hands gently probed, concern and worry etched on his face even as he concentrated on the human woman.

Feeling for the baby's position, he froze, an unfathomable expression crossing his face as he looked up at his grief-stricken brother. "The baby is turn-tailed, Haldir...he is feet first." Tears welled in Orophin's eyes as he imparted the news, wishing it were not he to be the one to have to tell his brother.

"What does that mean, Orophin? Why are you not helping them?" Haldir demanded, his own tears streaking his face, dripping down onto his wife's limp hand.

"I do not know if she has the strength left to borne him, Haldir. She is spent, and it will be much more difficult than a normal birth...her birth waters have broken...it will be a dry birth, and he is in the wrong position..." Orophin replied, his voice trailing off in his despair.

Rumil's hand flew to his mouth, weeping openly. Celeborn's strong hand found his shoulder, lending him the strength to see the event through, for the youngest of the brothers was known to be the most sensitive to tragedy.

Galadriel moved to place her hands on Haldir's shoulders. "Orophin will do what he can, Haldir...but you must prepare yourself. We may lose one...or both. Only Eru knows which way the tide will turn."

Haldir shook his head vehemently, unwilling to accept the prospect of losing either of them. Already he was blaming himself...for bringing her to Caras Galadhon, for getting her with child, for leaving them both at the time they needed him the most. He watched as if from a great distance as Orophin mounted the bed, positioning himself between Amaryn's legs, bending them at the knee.

Orophin sent a silent prayer to Eru to guide his hands as he slipped them in the birth canal, feeling for the infant whose position was not only feet-first, but twisted as well. He looked up at Haldir, willing his brother to be strong. "Haldir...when I give you the word, you must push down on her stomach. The contractions have nearly stopped and we must help her push the infant out. Haldir...Haldir, you must be strong for her! Haldir! Are you weak? Are you afraid to help her?"

Orophin's voice finally broke through the self-loathing that had enveloped the proud Captain, crippling him as he stared mutely at his wife, lying unconscious on the bed. His eyes flashed with anger as he flicked them up toward his brother, his brows knitting.

"Help us, Haldir...Help me to help them..." Orophin begged, his hands still within the birth canal, inching their way up a tiny leg to find the baby's hips. "I am going to try to turn the baby, then we must push him out or they will both die!"

Haldir nodded, aware that Orophin had only said what he must to get Haldir to cooperate. He stood, readying his strong hands on Amaryn's abdomen, waiting for Orophin's signal.

Very softly, almost too low for anyone to hear, the voices of Celeborn and Rumil began to sing. Rich in emotion their voices begged Eru to lend His hand to the birthing of Haldir's son, to aid Orophin, to give strength to the human woman. Softly pulsing and reassuring, their voices aided in keeping both Orophin and Haldir calm enough to concentrate on what they were attempting to do.

Galadriel said little, but her powerful mind connected with the infant's, sending waves of peace through the tiny body, alleviating some of the stress that the pressures of the ill birth bore upon him.

Rotating his wrists, Orophin managed to twist the babe into a face-forward position, all though he could not turn him fully so that he presented head-first. As he moved his hands out of the birth canal, he gently pulled the baby along with them, nodding at Haldir to push.

Amaryn began to moan softly, the horrendous pain reaching into her darkened state, bringing her consciousness to the surface once more.

"Speak to her Haldir...let her hear the sound of your voice and know that you are with her," Galadriel instructed, her voice steady and calm.

"Amaryn? Amaryn, I am here...soon our son will be here as well. You are most amazing, my love. I cannot claim half of your stength...be strong for me, my love. Be strong for our child...be strong for us both," Haldir whispered, as his hands pushed along with the next weak contraction.

Two tiny legs appeared in Orophin's hands. At the next contraction, a slick, slippery body followed, as well as one shoulder and arm. The following contraction brought the rest of Haldir's son into the world.

Holding his nephew, Orophin quickly used the laces from Rumil's boot to tie off the umbilical cord, the knife from his own belt severing the babe's physical connection with his mother.

A finger swiped through the infant's mouth and a gentle flicking on the soles of his feet brought a weak, but life-affirming cry to his diminutive lips that sounded like a roar of victory to the Elves who looked upon Lord Celeborn's newest subject.

Haldir smiled at the sight of his son, cradled tenderly in Orophin's hands. He watched as his brother handed his newborn son to Galadriel, turning his attention once again to the Amaryn. "Haldir, once more...push!" Orophin instructed, catching and quickly disposing of the mass of afterbirth that was expunged from the softly moaning woman.

Haldir slipped his hand under Amaryn's head, kissing her clammy forehead. Gently he stroked the side of her face, whispering his thanks to her for presenting him with a beautiful son, and his pride in her for withstanding the pain and suffering to do so. He watched her face carefully for a sign that she had heard him, but her eyes remained closed and her only sound that of her tortured breathing and an occasional whisper of a moan.

It was only when he happened to glance up at Orophin that he realized that something was still desperately wrong.

"Orophin?" Haldir asked, his voice breaking with tension and the rush of foreboding he felt at the sight of his brother's face. "Orophin, she will not speak to me."

"She has lost so much blood, Haldir...she is not of the Eldar...she..." Orophin trailed off, unable to continue.

"What are you saying, brother?" Haldir asked, his panic returning. Looking down at the woman who lay frail and broken upon the bed, he pleaded with her. "Amaryn...Amaryn...wake, my love! Look at me...Amaryn...look at me..."

Her eyes opened, although as though the weight of many stones rested upon her eyelids. They focussed for a moment on Haldir's face, and the ghost of smile touched her lips.

"Captain..." came a strangled, hoarse whisper through her drying and cracked lips. She parted her lips as if to speak again, but no sound escaped.

"A son, my love...our son is here...look at him," Haldir begged, as Galadriel bent over the bed to show Amaryn her baby.

Weakly her eyes moved to look at her son, who cried softly in the Lady of Light's arms. Amaryn smiled again, her body somehow finding the moisture to form tears. "He is beautiful, Haldir..."

"He is his mother's child," Haldir answered, his own tears flowing freely. He bent to place a kiss on Amaryn's lips, his breath hitching in his chest.

"Haldir...promise me...promise me that when the time comes..." Amaryn whispered, each word pulled from her throat by a supreme effort of will, "...that he will choose the way of the Eldar. I do not wish for him to...suffer, Haldir. Promise me."

"I promise, my love. Anything...I promise."

"Tell him...tell him how much I loved him, Haldir," she whispered again, her eyes drifting shut.

"You will tell him yourself, Amaryn...you will tell him..."

"Loved you, too, Haldir...most of all...loved you..."

"I love you, Amaryn...Amaryn? Amaryn, look at me...Amaryn!" Haldir cried, his chest hitching as he slowly realized that his wife was gone.

Throwing himself over her body, he wept, as great heaving sobs of despair and sorrow wracked him.

Leaning on each other, awash in their own tears, Orophin and Rumil could only watch, helpless to offer anything that might ease Haldir's sorrow and pain. Galadriel and Celeborn motioned to them, and the four slipped silently out of the talan, Galadriel still holding the infant, now wrapped in soft, warm blanket, leaving Haldir to grieve the loss of his wife.


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"Why, Orophin? Why would Eru give her a child, then take her before she could even hold him in her arms? Why, after all she has suffered? Why?" Haldir demanded, looking up at his brothers who stood before him.

It had been a month since Amaryn's passing. Her son grew stronger, nursed by those Ellith with babes of their own, loved by the entire community. Haldir, however, grew ever more despondent, silent and withdrawn, sometimes sitting for hours on the bed where she had given birth and given up her life. He would hold his son, tears streaming down as his face, wondering how this precious babe would ever know the strength of his mother.

"Haldir, who knows the mind of Eru? He has a plan for us all, Haldir...we know not where the souls of Man go after death, we know only that this gift was given to them by Eru for a reason..." Rumil counseled, wishing to ease some small part of Haldir's pain.

"Gift? Gift? Whose gift would that be, Rumil? Amaryn's gift? That she might never hold her son in her arms? My son's gift? That he might never know the sound of his mother's laughter? My gift? He forced the one I loved to suffer more in her short lifetime than I have ever suffered in mine, and then took her from me! A gift, Rumil? Then damn the gift of Eru, and damn Eru himself for giving it!"

"Haldir..." came Galadriel's soft voice from just inside the doorway.

Only the training of his lifetime enabled Haldir to swallow his anger and look at the Lady with respect.

"Rumil is correct, Haldir. No one can know the mind of Eru. But I know this much...Amaryn was a strong woman. Stronger than any human I have ever met. Would you dishonor her memory and her sacrifice by giving up and wallowing in your self-pity? She would never have done so. She rose above her pain, and found happiness here, amongst strangers. If a gift has been given, Haldir, then it was her gift to you...your son. Would you belittle that most precious gift by abandoning it and fading?"

Tears shone in Haldir's eyes as he shook his silver head. "I will not fade, Milady...I have promised Amaryn to watch over him, and help him with his choice when the time comes. But my heart breaks anew each time I see him..." Again, his voice cracked with the heaviness of his emotions.

"Your heart weeps because he reminds you so much of her, Haldir...but, this is a good thing. She lives on in her son. She is as much a part of him as he was of her. Each day that you love him, you also love her."

The Lady of Light placed Haldir's son in his arms, then quietly led his brothers from the talan, leaving Haldir to ponder on her words as he looked down into the tiny face so reminiscent of his wife's.

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"His name shall be Amorocuil, for it was Amaryn who gave him life, and Orophin who helped him draw his first breath," Haldir announced softly to the group gathered before the Lord and Lady. His son's Naming Day had been wrought with emotion and memories, although Haldir was finally becoming able to remember Amaryn's joy and love of life, rather than her pain and death.

The babe he held in his arms gurgled and cooed, a hank of Haldir's long silver hair fisted in his tiny hand. Soft, silver fuzz coated his head, indicative of his father's coloring, but the child's face was a miniature of his mother's, from her soft blue eyes to her cupid's bow mouth. His tiny, delicately pointed ears belied his Elven heritage, and he was already showing the hardiness of that heritage in the way he continued to grow and thrive.

Haldir looked down at him, a soft smile on his lips that was so full of love for his son that it was nearly palpable. He knew now, without a shred of doubt, that this child was, indeed, Amaryn's gift to him, and he would spend the rest of his days rejoicing in it, protecting it, and loving it.

And in the evenings, as he slowly rocked his son to sleep in his arms, Haldir would remember the woman who had touched his heart; the small, fragile woman who had instead been a tower of strength. He would remember her smiles and her laughter, her teasing and her comfort, at the Wall, riding to Lothlorien, living and loving him in Caras Galadhon.

In his dreams she rode free, her body whole, on a pale horse.

The End.