An Infernal Love

Mortensen Castle, November 13th 1798, Diary of Sir Viggo Mortensen

11p.m.

I decided to spend the day out on business and gave David time to come to terms with what he has seen so far. I can only hope that he will adjust to the new situation since I have decided to keep him, her – with me. I am sure that he will be of great use to me and my plans once he has been properly schooled and I will see to that myself.

I cannot let him go again. I just do not want to. I hope he will prove to be an apt and willing student since I have no other reason for keeping him here. God is cruel, I have always known it and the fact that I am falling for David, a human, only strengthens my point. How could He do this to me?

I am an essential part of his plan, he never said so but I am sure of that nevertheless. Unless He does not have a plan. But He must have! For if He does not I would have been right from the start and all the things He did were nothing but a game to him. But nay, that cannot be!
For if He does not have a plan, then how can it be the He countered all my attempts so easily?

I never wanted this position, He never left me a choice. Should I have spent millennia for nothing but His amusement? I refuse to believe that, even though I accused him of it right from the start.


I have allowed Ian to give his diaries and some other things to David. They might help him understand. And I hope that he will. I do not want to continue being without him. I could not.
No matter what his plans are, I will keep him. As soon as he understands what I am and what the matter is with Ian I will begin his lessons. However, I shall not teach him to command the Moraki since what has befallen Ian might happen to him, too.

They are weak but wilful spirits. Nothing but remnants of souls who linger on for petty reasons – envy, green or hatred – and yet I know now that they are dangerous in spite of what I always thought about them. Somehow one of them or maybe even more must have become part of Ian. Ian lusts for red meat because the Moraki lust for blood. Their existence is forceful but without blood – the only matter they can absorb – they are unable to influence matter and people.
I wonder if that could happen to Ian, too. Could he become like them? If so, then I should try to starve him and see how he reacts when I refuse to indulge him and feed him a diet of fruit instead.

And yet I am tempted. Tempted to find out what happens when he gets the blood he craves so much without even knowing it. Will he really become like them? Or maybe one of them, though much more powerful perhaps?

But nay, I cannot allow that to happen. Not while David is in the castle. What if Ian turns against David? He knows that I like David more than I should and could use that against me. David is my weakest spot. And I know how much Ian would enjoy taunting me.
Tomorrow I will reveal myself to David, but for now, good night!


Mortensen Castle, November 14th, Diary of Sir Viggo Mortensen

Midnight

I did not manage to reveal myself to David. Too much happened and all of it seemed to happen at once. Accursed be the day I met Ian McKellen! My worst fears have proven true. For days I have feared now that the Moraki have somehow become part of Ian but now I know that their mortality has somehow become part of Ian too. What am I to do against an adversary who is just as immortal as I am?

I made sure today that Ian got his meal spiced with a large amount of Belladonna and Cyanide – both of them are very strong poisons – but they showed almost no effect at all!
At first I thought they had been effective. Ian’s face turned ashen and he choked as his now always red-rimmed eyes glared at me from his pallid face but as he drank the glass of chicken blood I had brought him he was quickly restored to health.

If I did not know better I would say that he looked younger than before but that cannot, no, must not be. I was right on all accounts: he thrives on blood, is immortal somehow and seems to grow stronger every day. I have yet to harm him with either sword or knife but I dare not do that while David is still here.

David! I have barely heard his wonderful voice these last two days. He is in the same castle, always only a few rooms away from me, and yet unreachable. Such a short time without his company and I feel as though I had not seen him for centuries. Oh damned creation that ever gave me a heart! Oh damned God! Didst Thou know how this would pain me? And if You did, why make it part of Your plan? Or is it as I feared? Do You have no plan for this world? No plan for Your creation? No rules for Your most beloved children to follow? Oh cruel Lord, if that may be so! And all the more unjust the reason You banished me for! And yet I cannot hate You, for I too am of Your creation, though not of Your mortal one.

But David is and I know that he will die someday. All the more cruel that my heart should be set on him –but it is and I find myself unable to do anything against it. Oh cursed spite, that ever I was born to set in right!

But no, You shall not have David! I defied You once when You refused to see that creating order out of chaos had been a mistake and I shall defy You again on this account. I shall bind him to me. You shall not have his soul!
Even if he dies, I shall bind his ghost to me. But how am I to do that without harming him if he continues refusing to see me? He has kept himself locked up in his rooms these last two days – or at least wants me to believe he did so, for I know fully well that he has secretly visited Ian. But what they talk about I do not know.

I dare not read David’s thoughts and Ian has been able to cloud his mind for quite some time now. I never know what he plans any more. What if Ian is doing the things I should be doing? What if he started teaching David to command the Moraki? David has Ian’s diaries and I know that there are a lot of hints in there.

I will have to do something to get David out of his room. But hark, Ian calls for me. I will continue this later.


Later that night

If things continue to develop this way I soon shall not be able to do anything about Ian anymore. Ian pleaded, no, commanded and begged me to do something which was so horrible it almost made me scream.

And yet I had to comply. He demanded a child – or rather the blood of a child – and pressed me into fulfilling his demand by threatening to kill David. And I know that he truly would be capable of doing just that. He demonstrated his newest “talent” as he called it by lighting the fire in the fireplace with his mind. I know that he could just as easily set fire to David’s body as he did to the logs in the cabin.

Somehow I have to get rid of Ian without endangering David any further. But back to the matter with the child.

It was awful. Even I was more than just revolted. And I had already seen a lot on my millennia. “Go, find me a child.” Ian said, his voice awfully hollow, “Something cute to look at.” And what could I do but comply?

I sneaked into the village in the Moors and soon I had found what I had been looking for. A girl, about seven or six years of age, who lay unmoving on a filthy mattress of straw. I thought she was already dead when I first glimpsed her through the window of her parents’ small cottage but as I ventured inside I saw that she was breathing shallowly but regularly. She was thin but with a round sweet face, long blond curls and dark lashes resting against pale cheeks. Quietly I put her into a trance, lured her into my arms and off we sped into the night, her bright blue eyes staring unblinkingly at me as I carried her to her doom. Not once did she as much as lift a hand or try to flee.

All too soon we had reached the castle and I could feel her anxiety grow. It almost seemed as if she knew that she was to die that night. But oh how admirable the calm with which she met her impending fate! Almost unbelievable.

“Perfect.” Was all Ian said as I put the child to the ground in his chamber. And there she stood, shivering in her threadbare white nightgown, looking at Ian as though she had always known that this day would come. And oh so calmly she walked towards him as he entranced her.

I have witnessed much in my days but never did I feel such horror as I did when he gathered her into his arms, bared her neck and sunk his teeth – no – his fangs, for that is what his canine teeth look like these days into it.

Even now I shudder and tremble when I think of the sick crack with which her skin broke beneath his fangs. The sucking and smacking sounds he made – no! I refuse to remember them! Not even a minute later he had finished his ghastly meal, the girl’s once rosy cheeks ghostly pale and her eyes wide open and staring as she rested limply in his arms. I could not stand it.

I fled the room then and there and came here to write these happenings and my awful deed off my soul. But alas, I hear commotion from Ian’s room. I dread to think what I might find but I have to go.

Tbc…