Butterfly

Not even his favorite books could Thranduil forget his pain. The King sat at the desk in his library; his tears slowly soaked his sleeve as his head lay resting against his arm. “What have I done?” he repeated over and over between sobs. And yet, he knew that if given the chance, he would do it again. He often felt like ripping his own hair from his head, out of anger at what he had become, and what he had done to his son.

A dagger lay just out of reach upon the same desk. Thranduil reached for it with his free hand. He lifted his head and unsheathed the weapon for third time that day. ‘I am a coward,’ he thought, ‘I have not even the courage to end my life.” He enclosed his palm around the shiny blade, the sharp edges drawing blood as the cut into his skin.

A sudden knock on the door made the King jump. “Have I not said that I do not wish to be disturbed?!” he screamed in annoyance.

“Forgive me, my Lord, but Mithrandir is here to see you… and he says it is of outmost importance,” answered a servant.

Thranduil sighed. He did not wish to see anyone. He had been avoiding company at all costs for the last few weeks, but perhaps the old wizard could help him… “Very well, send him in,” he said, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes.

In a few minutes, Gandalf entered through the door, dressed in gray. King and wizard stared at each other in awkward silence before Gandalf extended his arms and Thranduil ran into the arms of his long time friend and mentor. He said nothing, only cried into the wizard’s shoulder. “Come, let us sit,” Gandalf said to the weeping king as he led him to a sofa.

“Have you seen Legolas?” the King asked. A nod told him the answer was yes. “How is he doing?”

“He is getting better, quite well, actually, considering how he has suffered.” Hearing this, Thranduil began sobbing violently again. “But he still loves you… and if your condition is cured you will be able to see him again.”

“Can you help me?” Thranduil asked.

“I think so, but first you must tell me everything, from the very beginning.”

Thranduil told the wizard everything, just as had been asked of him. He told of the vile thoughts that first entered his mind in the garden and of how hard he had tried to resist them, even though they grew stronger and more frequent. He told of all the thoughts and events leading up to, and including his violating his son. When he was done, he looked to Mithrandir with eyes that asked why and begged for a solution.

The wizard was silent for a long while before he began to speak, and Thranduil dared not push him for ackercker response, despite his anxiety.

“Evil is beginning to stir upon Middle Earth once more, and sometimes darkness poisons the minds even of those with the purest of hearts. Often, the loss of a loved one leaves us weak from grief. The passing of your beloved wife has left you vulnerable.” Gandalf eyed the King, who was listening attentively. “It was not you who created those impure thoughts, Thranduil. It is no use blaming yourself now for letting them affect you. Look to the future instead. Legolas needs you to be strong. You can overcome this; you need to overcome this…” The wizard reached into a small pouch he brought with him, and pulled out a small vial containing blue liquid. “Here, drink this. It will help you regain your inner strength.”

Thranduil took the vial and eyed its contents cautiously, “What’s in it?”

“Nothing that will kill you.”

The King was skeptical, but uncorked the vial and drank the tasteless blue potion. He would do anything to see his son again…


***********************************


“I am beginning to worry that there is not much more I can teach you,” Haldir said when Legolas’ arrow hit the target, dead-center. He glanced over at the Prince, who grinned sheepishly, obviously unaware of the lust in Haldir’s eyes.

“It is getting late, are you ready to head back?” the guardian asked.

“Aye, I am ready, although I do wish the day was longer,” Legolas’ smile faded slightly. “Time seems to pass by so quickly when one is having fun.”

“That it does,” Haldir answered, smiling. He watched after Legolas with longing when the Prince went to retrieve his arrows. He had never seen an elf more beautiful.

“How old are you, Legolas?” the Lorien elf asked after they had mounted their horses.

“I just reached my majority last week,” said the Prince. That answered Haldir’s question about whether Legolas was old enough to engage in any romantic activity with him, supported his suspicions that he was an innocent.

At first he thought Legolas simply did not find him attractive, for he did not respond to his subtle flirting, but soon realized that the younger elf appeared to be oblivious to his interest.

Haldir decided not to push the matter any further that day. There would be plenty more such days to pursue the Prince, and he greatly looked forward to them.


*************************************


Legolas stole another quick glance at Celeborn from across the small table on which stood there stood chessboard. It had become almost a ritual, late in the evening, whenever time permitted, they would get together and play a game of chess. So far, Legolas had not been able to win, but he enjoyed playing and even more, he enjoyed being around the Lord of the Golden Wood. He would often stare at him as he concentrated on his next move, admiring the Lorien elf’s beauty, but would instantly look away, blushing, when the Lord’s eyes met his.

“So how did you enjoy your day, Legolas? What do you think of Haldir?” Celeborn asked.

“It was wonderful. Haldir was amazed at my skill,” Legoalas said, proudly. He is very kind and a great archer, not that I would ever expect anything less from a guardian of the Golden Wood. But he does seem a bit… arrogant.”

Celeborn chuckled, “Aye, Haldir is something else. But I assure you, he is not arrogant without reason.”

“Have you any skill with a bow?” Legolas asked, changing the subject as he collected yet another of Celeborn’s pawns.

“I used to,” Celeborn answered, “but it has been many years since I have held one.”

“Could I convince you to do so again?”

“Oh, I do not know. I might feel intimidated by a sharp-minded, skilled young archer such as you. It has been *so* long…”

Legolas smiled. “us mus make a deal. If I win this game, we will compete in archery. I will even give you a month to prepare.”

“You think you can win?” Celeborn asked. “Then it is a deal.”

(20 minutes later)

Legolas looks up at his opponent after moving his knight, eyes twinkling. “Checkmate.”


TBC……

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