Reasons to Hope, Reasons to live

Pairing of the chapter: Haldir/Legolas



Warnings: Major OOCness… (don’t kill me)



Keys:



Dreams and flashbacks



“Common language”



‘Elvish language’



[Translations]



//Thoughts//



Thanks for Cheysuli for editing my horrible mistakes



More reviews = Less pain for Legolas and Aragorn *grins* Flames only make Legolas and Aragorn suffer more…



Take place in the same day and the day after of chpt 4



~~~~***~~~~



Mallorn urged his gray horse to ride faster. He and Lord Celeborn were on their way to Rivendell, where they knew that a confrontation between Legolas and King Thranduil would eventually take place.



Mallorn was very worried about that matter. Deep in his heart, he knew that things would be very bad if the elders did not find a solution to the problem at hand.



On one hand, there was Legolas’ life but on the other hand, there was the safety and welfare of their kin.



He hoped that lord Elrond’s wisdom would find a loophole in this matter.



Both riders urged their mounts faster as the lights of The Last Homely House appeared through the darkness of the thick forest.



~~~~***~~~~



King Thranduil gazed at the midnight sky, distracted. He sighed deeply, thinking of his absent sons; mostly of his youngest son, Legolas. He sighed again, thinking of the type of life Legolas had lived for three thousands years.



Life wasn’t that easy on his beloved son. By the time Legolas was born, Mirkwood was under threatened by dark forces that had turned the beautiful land of Greenwood into a battlefield. The war against the dark forces took most of King Thranduil’s and his sons’ time, leaving them only a small amount of time to spend with little Legolas. His mother’s sudden death after his birth made it even worse for the elfling. Although the three elder elves tried their best to make him feel loved and wanted, their care and love didn’t fill the emptiness of the queen’s absence in Legolas’ life.



King Thranduil sighed again; he had always felt guilty towards his son. That was the main reason the old King kept Legolas near him in Mirkwood all of the time. It had been that way for the first two thousand and 500 years of his life, until Aredhel suggested appointing him as a messenger in the name of Mirkwood’s crown. Then when Legolas first met Haldir and fell in love with the brave elf, King Thranduil hadn't objected to their love. He knew that Haldir was a brave and noble elf. As a matter of fact, he was glad that Legolas’ heart had chosen well and was more than happy to know that his son had found someone to love and was loved in return. However, he did warn Legolas not to be blinded by his emotions and do something he might regret later, which his son had ignored.



King Thranduil gazed on the stars, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Legolas’ pregnancy would risk all the elves’ safety and yet, it was his grieving child's only salvation. He closed his eyes, praying to the Valar to help them all.



A soft cooing caught the elven King’s attention and he opened his eyes to see a white dove standing on the edge of the window. King Thranduil raised an eyebrow. What was a dove doing out at this time of night?



‘Why aren’t in your nest, little one?’ he asked softly, caressing its soft neck.



The dove looked directly into his eyes and cooed again softly.



‘A message from Lord Elrond, you say?’ King Thranduil smiled softly, noticing the small parchment tided around the bird’s leg. ‘My greatest thanks, little one,’ he said, unrolling the letter and reading it. King Thranduil frowned thoughtfully as he read the message. He clapped his hand twice and a servant appeared at the door.



‘My Lord?’ the servant asked, bowing respectfully.



‘Wake up my royal adviser immediately,’ the elven king ordered. ‘And the chief of the guards, as well.’



‘Yes, my lord.’ With that, the servant bowed again and left the room.



King Thranduil looked again towards the dark sky outside the window.



~~~~***~~~~



Legolas sat on a bench in the gardens of Lord Elrond’s house, listening to the joyful life around him. A small smile started to form on the edge of his lips as he listened to tirdsirds singing while they collected their food. He had always loved nature, adored its beauty and enjoyed its peace just like any other woodelf. He sighed deeply; it had been a long time since he allowed his troubled heart to relax.



//Ever since Haldir’s death, // Legolas thought, sighing again. He could still remember their last conversation hours before the battle of Helm’s Deep. He could still remember Haldir’s warm arms holding his naked body protectively as they lay in their bed. He could still hear Haldir’s soft reassuring whispers ringing in his ears.



FLASHBACK



Legolas snuggled against Haldir’s body, seeking warmth and safety. He couldn’t force himself to sleep, not with thoughts of the coming battle running through his mind. He sighed deeply, remembering his near breakdown in front of Aragorn. He wasn’t afraid for himself. He was a warrior, trained to face danger all the time. However, the children he had seen in the Rohan army weren’t. He had seen children barely old enough to carry weapons standing among the soldiers. He had seen farmers, workers, and peasants, but certainly not warriors, waiting for their death. Legolas felt tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Death was something foreign to elves. Something he couldn’t understand. For him, death meant being separated from those who he had loved and cared about. It took away his mother. He never knew her or knew what it felt like to be cuddled in her lap or fall asleep to her singing voice. Moreover, deep in his heart, he had envied his brothers for experiencing all of that. It also took Gandalf away when he fell in Khazad-Dûm and everyone believed that he was gone. It felt awful to realize that he was no longer there. Legolas didn't want to see anyone die again. He didn't want to see those children die. He didn't want to see his friends die. He didn't want to see Haldir die. At that thought, Legolas lost his self-control and sobbed softly, burying his face into his lover’s bare chest.



Haldir opened his eyes, feeling a hot liquid on his sensitive skin and hearing soft sobs filling his ears. He looked down to the young elf in his arms and was surprised to see him crying.



‘Legolas! What is wrong, Melamin? [Love]’ he asked worriedly.



Legolas looked up at his lover and shook his head. Haldir frowned and got up into a sitting position.



‘Legolas! What is it?’ Haldir insisted, shaking Legolas’ body slightly.



‘I’m afraid, Haldir!’ Legolas mumbled softy, lowering his face in shame.



Haldir raised an eyebrow in clear surprise. Well, to know that Legolas was afraid was a shocking thing but to hear Legolas actually admitting it was stunning.



‘What you are afraid of, Legolas?’ Haldir asked quietly, hiding his own shock well.



Legolas chewed his lower lip nervously, not knowing how to start.



‘I…” he started, trying to find the right words. ‘Earlier before your arrival, Aragorn and I had an argument.’ He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. ‘I felt despair after I saw those children in the Rohan army. They are so young, Haldir, so young and innocent. They are no warriors. They are going to die, Haldir. Everyone is going to die!’ Legolas cried in despair and burst into tears, burying his face again in his lover’s chest. Haldir took the crying elf into a tight embrace, whispering soothing words into his ears. He waited patiently until Legolas’ sobs ceased, then took his lover’s face into his hands, forcing their eyes to meet.



‘Listen to me, Legolas,’ he said quietly. ‘I can’t assure you that no one is going to die in this war. You are a warrior yourself and you know that every battle has its victims. All can I tell you is that at the end everything will be fine. This war is for the good of Middle-Earth. This war is to ensure that those children will have a bright future one day-’



‘But they are going to die!’ Legolas interrupted.



‘We are here to help the men win this war, Legolas,’ Haldir said. ‘Yes, some of them may die, we can’t stop this. However, we can make sure that not all of them will.’



‘I don’t want to lose any of my friends, Haldir,” Legolas whispered. ‘I don’t want to lose you.’



Haldir smiled softly. ‘You won’t lose your friends, Legolas, for they are the most stubborn creatures I have ever met in my life. And you won’t lose me, because I’m the most stubborn lover in all of Middle-Earth. Besides, I will not give you the opportunity to run away from me that easily.’



Legolas chuckled between his tears. He looked deeply into Haldir's green eyes, losing himself in those green pools.



‘Do you promise?’ he whispered.



‘What, Melamin?’



‘Do you promise that you’ll always be with me and never leave my side?’



Haldir smiled and kissed Legolas’ lips passionately. After they broke, Haldir took Legolas hands in his and said in low voice. ‘I was going to ask you after the war was over but since you need the assurance, I’m going to delay no more.’ He looked directly into Legolas’ blue eyes. ‘Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, do you give me the honor and accept to be my mate and be bounded to me for all eternity?’



Legolas gasped in surprise. For a moment, Legolas forgot how to breathe.



Haldir. Asked him. To be his mate.



Haldir. Asked him. To marry him.



Legolas opened his month and closed it several times, not knowing what to say. He stared at Haldir in shock. Tears started to fill his eyes again. However, this time from happiness. He threw himself at Haldir and wrapped him in a tight hug, sending them both down the bed.



‘Amin mela lle. [I love you.]’ He whispered repeatedly in Haldir's ear. ‘Amin harmuva onalle e' cormamin. [I shall treasure your gift in my heart]’



Haldir smiled, stroking the silken gold hair gently. ‘And I shall be always there for you, Legolas. I will not leave ever, I promise.’



END OF FLASHBACK



A sad smile formed on Legolas’ lips. For the first time, Haldir couldn’t keep a promise. Just a few hours after that promise was made, it was broken. A tear ran down Legolas’ cheek.



“I wonder what father would say if he saw these precious tears fall down from these beautiful eyes?”



Legolas looked up and saw Mallorn and Aredhel standing in front him.



“Mallorn!” Legolas exclaimed, jumping from his seat and throwing himself into his brother’s open arms. “When did you arrive in Imladris?”



“At dawn,” Mallorn said, releasing his brother. “Lord Celeborn and I.”



“Lord Celeborn is here too? Where?” Legolas asked as the three brothers sat on the bench.



“He is now with Lord Elrond and Lord Glorfindel. They are talking about your problem,” Aredhel said carefully.



“Oh,” Legolas said, lowering his head.



“Don’t worry, Legolas!” Mallorn said, squeezing his hand gently. “I’m sure they will find a solution. You will see.”



Legolas just nodded. The three sat in silent, not knowing what to say or do. However, Legolas felt peace fill his soul, knowing that his brothers were here with him. No matter what happened, he knew that Aredhel and Mallorn would always be there for him.



Gathering his courage, Legolas looked up at Mallorn.



“Mallorn how was your trip to Lothlórien?” he asked, almost whispering.



“My trip? It was an eventless trip.” He shrugged. “Nothing dared to face the great and only Mallorn,” he added, grinning proudly.



Aredhel and Legolas rolled their eyes in mocked annoyance.



“Probably they thought that you are a mere child and not worth the bother.” Aredhel ruffled Mallorn’s hair, drawing a protest yell from him. “The poor baby elf.”



“If you remember correctly, my dear big brother, Legolas is the baby brother here, not me,” Mallorn said, folding his arms in front of his chest.



“Will you two please stop calling me baby?!” Legolas exclaimed. “I’m three thousand years old. I’m not a baby anymore.”



“Wrong, *baby brother*.” Mallorn smirked. “You *will* always *be our baby brother*. No matter how old you are. Besides, you must enjoy all the pampering you’re receiving before you lose it.”



“I hate to say it, but Mallorn is right,” Aredhel said, mocking a pout. “Because one day, another young one will come and take all the pampering for itself.”



“Do I hear jealousy in your voice, big brother?” Mallorn’s smirk widened.



“Me?” Aredhel raised his eyebrows. “Jealous? of you? Impossible.”



Mallorn grinned and was about to answer his brother when Legolas interrupted.



“Will you two stop this now?” He shook his head disapprovingly. “Sometimes, I think that you two are even worse than the twins.”



The two older elves grinned at him sheepily before Aredhel regained his serious old self.



“Sorry, Legolas,” he said. “But it has been so long since we have our *little* fights, you know.”



“Aredhel is right.” Mallorn smiled. “We can’t do this in front of father. You are the only one who father doesn’t object about behaving that way in front of him.”



“Here we go again.” Legolas shook his head. The three paused for a while before Legolas talked spoke again.



“Have you met Haldir's brothers in Lothlórien, Mallorn?”



Aredhel frowned, hearing the same fear in Legolas’ voice. Mallorn looked distressed for a moment, but an expressionless mask slipped on his face.



“Yes,” he answered seriously. “I met Rûmil at the borders. He had taken Haldir's position.”



“I know,” Legolas whispered. “Have you two talked?”



“Briefly,” Mallorn answered. “I just asked him to allow me to meet Lord Celeborn.”



“Did you tell him why?” Legolas asked, frightened.



“No,” Mallorn snapped. “I just told him that I carried an urgent message from my father to Lord Celeborn. That’s all, Legolas.”



Legolas looked down again. He felt as if his heart would burst from its place due to the rapid beating.



“Do you think Rûmil would suspect that something is happening?”



“No. Why do you think that?”



“Well, because I’m the one who carries father’s messages, not you.” Legolas looked at his brother.



“Don’t worry, Legolas.” Mallorn smiled, reassuring his brother. “Neither Rûmil nor Orophin will dare to harm you. We are all ready to protect you.”



“If they knew about my pregnancy…” Legolas’ voice trailed off in fear.



“No one will harm you or your child, Legolas,” Mallorn assured him, taking his brother into his embrace. “I’ll protect you both with my life, if I have to. I promise.”



“Thanks you, Mallorn.” Legolas whispered, leaning his head on his brother’s shoulder.



Aredhel listened to the conversation in silence, frowning deeply. There was something wrong between his brother and the Lothlórien brothers, and Mallorn knew about it.



//Oh, well…Mallorn will be easy to take care of. // he thought to himself. Getting information from Mallorn was much easier than getting it from Legolas. He would have a very brotherly talk with Mallorn later.







To be continued…