Strange Allies

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A/N: It's been like getting blood from a turnip lately with him. I guess the big goofball doesn't want to deal with the pain yet so he keeps dragging this out. What he doesn't understand is that he can't just stop talking now! UGH!

Sandra - Awww, thank you so much for your kind words. It has been my pleasure (for the most part - when he's not being too hateful) to write this. I've certaily learned more than I ever wanted to know about Mr. Wicked and then some! Perhaps that is what it feels like ultimately - hearts, bodies and minds becoming one. It would seem that none of us want it to end but it must. When, I'm still not sure. It's sort of taken on a life of it's own.

Paige - oh, you are quite welcome, my dear. I'm glad you have enjoyed this saga of his. But now you've puffed his ego up again and he's not ceased to remind me how everyone wants him. But that's ok. It's been worth it most of the time. (Besides, if he feels better maybe he'll stop moping around and TALK!)

Naira - well, you know how he is! That little black heart of his isn't very well hidden. As long as he is getting what he wants, he's ok. But when he doesn't - that's when he tends to get all huffy and haughty. Which is a pretty big clue to his personality, yes?

~~~

“Haldir,” Annowe murmured softly to him, her heart still pounding in her chest at the depth of intimacy they had shared.

He sighed in response and nuzzled closer to her, smelling her scent and watching the pink haze slowly fade around them. He could still feel her desire holding his but the blinding hotness of it had subsided leaving only soothing warmth behind.

“I would stay here like this with you forever,” he murmured unintelligibly against her skin in his own tongue, needing to say the words but not wanting her to hear them. What would she do if she knew? Would she ask him not to leave? He shivered at the memory of her words in the heat of passion “don’t leave me”. He did not want to leave her – not now and not ever.

“I am sorry,” she breathed against his shoulder, squeezing him tightly.

“You have done me no harm, little one,” he soothed.

“But I will. I will hurt you and I want you to know that I am sorry for it,” she said, her voice tight with emotion.

With a sigh, he rolled off of her, pulling her close. Tenderly, he stroked the hair back from her troubled brow. Why was she even thinking of this? The guilt must be gnawing at her at last.

“Soon we will join your sister and I will leave. There will be plenty of time to be sorry,” he reminded her.

“But I don’t want,” she began then stopped abruptly lowering her gaze.

And he felt it. Before she could completely hide it from him he felt it again. She did not want him to leave. That thought was more painful to him than even the thought of Legolas breaking their bond. She truly wanted him at last and he would leave her! He wanted to scream at the bitter irony of it. For a split second he considered telling her that he did not want to leave but thought better of it. Now was not the time.

“You don’t want what?” He prompted her, allowing her to think he did not know what she desired.

“I don’t want to be sorry. I don’t want there to be pain for you,” she confessed half-heartedly.

He remained quiet for several moments as he continued to smooth her hair back considering her words and her feelings as well as his own.

“But there will be pain for you as well, you must realize this,” he reminded her.

She sighed heavily. “Yes, but I have Legolas,” she whispered guiltily.

Haldir murmured noncommittally at this. Yes, she had Legolas but she was assuming that he would be willing and able to break the bond. If he were not – how agonizing would it be for them to continue to be separated yet bound to each other?

Separated by time and space yet eternally joined? He did not wish to think of that. Perhaps there was still a chance he could stay or she would go with him.

“Well I will have Valinor,” he countered.

She did not answer him but sighed and pressed closer to his neck smelling the scent of him. Yes, he would have Valinor and she would have Legolas. Wasn’t that their original bargain? Isn’t that what she wanted? For Haldir to leave her in peace so she could be with Legolas?

So why was she feeling nothing but dread and pain at the thought of Haldir departing for Valinor? It was dread and pain so acute she had never felt this way about leaving any other creature – not even her beloved sister, Holly. What had gotten into her?

Was it because she understood the pain that awaited him? Did the guilt of what she had done finally catch up to her? She squeezed Haldir closer, fearing for him and fearing her own fate. What if Legolas did not forgive her? She shivered.

“Stop dwelling on it, Annowe,” Haldir’s gentle voice cut across her spiraling thoughts.

“I’m scared,” she admitted guiltily, her lips brushing his skin as she spoke.

“I know you are, little one,” he soothed, running his fingers lightly over her spine. “But what is done is done and if Legolas breaks the bond then you will not know of my pain nor of he your guilt.”

“So why do I feel as if I am cheating the both of you?” She murmured, lifting her head to look at him. “I have everything and have sacrificed nothing to gain it.”

Haldir raised one questioning eyebrow as he considered this. “Have you not sacrificed your own loyalty to Legolas? Have you not sacrificed part of your very self to gain what you have?” He asked gently.

He saw the realization growing in her eyes. Yes, she had sacrificed much to be with him, no matter how briefly.

“Is that not a high price to pay for what you have gained since you could very well lose it all?” He reasoned.

“I did not consider that,” she answered in a shaking voice.

Yes, she had sacrificed many things and had explained them away – telling herself it was for Legolas. But who would truly benefit from this union between she and Haldir? Isn’t that what she had wanted in some secret part of herself? If she had truly hated him wouldn’t she have taken every opportunity to avoid him?

Galadriel could not order her about – she was a daughter of Ulmo. If she had refused the White Lady then she would have been completely free of this entire situation. But in some deep dark part of her she had wanted to remain with that wicked creature. And she had wanted him badly enough to sacrifice her own loyalty to Legolas for it.

Annowe blinked in confusion as she gazed into Haldir’s gray eyes. Did she even know what she wanted herself? All she had done was for Legolas, or so she had told herself. But what if it was not? What if everything she had done was for her own benefit? That would mean the bond they now shared was even stronger than she could fathom.

“What will happen to us if the bond cannot be broken and we remain separated?” She breathed anxiously, fearing the answer.

Silently Haldir stroked her hair. He did not have an answer for her and was very reluctant to voice his thoughts on the matter. It would only increase her agitation and he did not want that.

“I am not certain for I have not heard of it,” he confessed.

“And yet you have your suspicions,” she countered, feeling the hesitation inside him.

He grunted. He would have to remember that she could read him more and more easily with each bonding session. Soon it would be difficult to hide anything from her.

“Yes,” he admitted reluctantly. “But as I said, I do not know for certain. I have no way of knowing what will happen.”

Her dark eyes narrowed at him and he could feel her probing him, searching for the answer inside of him. When she could not find it, she hastily retreated from him and sighed dejectedly. They were both treading in unfamiliar territory and the only way to find out the answer was to live the question.

“Will you be happy to see your sister again?” Haldir asked, gently changing the subject.

She grinned impulsively. “Oh, yes! It has been many years since I’ve seen Goldberry and Tom,” she replied.

Perhaps Tom would know what would happen to them if they remained apart and yet bound to each other. He was older than the elves – if anyone would know it would be Tom. At that thought she relaxed.

Haldir felt the tension drain from her and sighed as he continued to stroke her spine as she rested her head back against his shoulder. How could he do this? How could he leave? He had not been this happy and content in thousands of years and now he would just walk off and leave it all because he was wanted in Valinor!

Silently he cursed The Call. Valinor could certainly be no more pleasurable or happy for him than he was now! He should stay here. He should ignore the call and stay here!

Perhaps this was his punishment for all the hearts he had broken in the past. To find what he truly desired and yet have it snatched away from him at the last minute. To bond so completely with another creature only to leave that creature behind!

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her hair. There must be a way! Now that he had her, he did not want to let her go. He did not want her to return to Legolas. Selfishly, he wanted her to leave for Valinor with him. But could she? Could a daughter of Ulmo go to Valinor? And would she even want to if Legolas would be left behind?

~~~