Seeing With The Heart

Title: Seeing With the Heart (5/7)
Author: Aglarien
Type: FPS
Pairing: Glorfindel/Erestor
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine. The great Master Tolkien's estate owns everything else. I promise to return his elves when I'm done playing with them.
Warnings: AU.
Beta: phyncke
Author’s notes: Written for the Glorestor competition, and dedicated to the real Elladan and Elrohir and their beautiful family who all just seemed to creep into this story.
Summary: An encounter on the Great East Road changes the lives of Erestor and Glorfindel.


We may remark in passing that to be blind and beloved may, in this world where nothing is perfect, be among the most strangely exquisite forms of happiness.... The supreme happiness in life is the assurance of being loved; of being loved for oneself, even in spite of oneself; and this assurance the blind man possesses…… Possessing love he is not deprived of light. A love, moreover, that is wholly pure. There can be no blindness where there is this certainty.
Victor Hugo (1802–1885), Les Misérables (1862).


Chapter 5

The next day dawned chill and breezy, with a hint of coming rain in the air. After a hurried breakfast of bread and cheese, the Elves set out down the road once again. There would be no adequate place for shelter from the rain until they crossed the River Hoarwell at the Last Bridge, still many days away. First they had to skirt around the Midgewater Marshes and then go by Weathertop, Amon Sûl.(3) If the rain became heavy, they would simply draw the wagon and horses off the road and wait out the storm under the protection of the wagon cover.

It was nearing mid-day when a brisk wind and darkening clouds signaled the rain was coming, so they moved off of the road to grassy ground, unharnessed Asfaloth and Dulinn, and drew the canvas cover over the wagon. Elladan and Elrohir’s tent was set up as shelter for the horses, one side fastened to the wagon and the other tied to the tents poles. Glorfindel quickly scoured the landscape for all of the scrub and kindling he could find that was usable for a fire, and placed the fuel under the wagon to keep it dry. From before the Forsaken Inn to the Last Bridge, the land was desolate and home to only stunted trees and brush, affording scant fuel for fire.

The downpour fell around them for just an hour or two as the Elves huddled together in their cramped wagon space. Erestor rested against Glorfindel, and the captain wrapped his arms around his love.

“It would seem that your relationship has changed a bit,” Elrohir said with a smile, seeing Erestor rest his head on Glorfindel’s chest. “Elladan and I are happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Glorfindel said with an answering smile, holding Erestor tighter. “It was time we stopped dancing around each other and admitted our feelings for each other.”

“At least something good came out of my blindness,” Erestor said softly. “I don’t think we would have had the nerve to change anything if it wasn’t for my injury. We were both too afraid of ruining our friendship.”

“Silly Elves,” Elladan teased.

“Look who’s talking,” Elrohir quipped back.

The storm passed to the west, much to the travelers’ relief. The horses were released from their shelter and allowed to graze and drink from the many pools of water that had formed from the rain. Glorfindel retrieved the dry fuel from under the wagon and soon a cheerful fire blazed. Hot tea brightened their dampened spirits. As they ate a simple meal of fruit, cheese and bread while sitting in the wagon, the captain said, “We would be wise to hunt for fresh game before tonight and save the dried provisions we carry. A few rabbits or fowl would make a good supper and breakfast for tomorrow. There are usually birds in abundance around here, so near to the Marshes.”

“The road will be muddy and slow us down for the rest of the day,” Elrohir said. “We should find a good place to camp and stop earlier so the horses do not become over tired.”

“I agree. I will ride ahead soon to hunt and find a source of clean water,” Elladan said. “I am sure I can manage to bring down a duck or two. If we roast some of the potatoes tonight we can have them for lunch tomorrow with the fruit, and we should be able to find some roots and greens this time of year for a nice stew tonight.”

“Stew sounds lovely. I just wish I could help. I feel so…useless,” Erestor said sadly. “I am sorry I am making more work for you all, especially when you two young ones should be hurrying home to your loved ones.”

“Erestor, for how many years did you help Elrohir and me?” Elladan asked. “Let us do this for you. You have nothing to feel sorry for. It pleases us to be able to help you.”

“And by the grace of the Valar, you will see again,” Elrohir added. “Erestor, do you not know how dear you are to us? To all of us? Sighted or blind, we love you the same. We would choose to be nowhere else but here at your side, and if we left you and hurried home, our wives would send us right back to you.”

“Thank you,” Erestor whispered. The twins’ words made him too emotional and he knew it was a sign that he was overly tired again. He longed to lie down and sleep. Blinking back the tears that threatened, he said, “I am sorry, but I am so very tired.”

“It is time for us to get moving again anyway,” Elrohir said. “Is your head hurting again? Any nausea?”

“No, I am fine,” Erestor responded. “I am just tired.”

The twins quickly left the wagon to extinguish the fire and gather the horses, leaving Erestor the room to stretch out on the mattress. Glorfindel covered his weary love and tucked the quilts around him. “Would you like me to stay with you until you fall asleep, dear one?” he asked softly.

Erestor shook his head. “Go and help the twins,” he replied. “I will be able to hear you until I fall asleep.” He reached up a hand to caress Glorfindel’s face. “I love you so very much,” he whispered.

Glorfindel leaned over and kissed Erestor, a slow, unhurried kiss, full of love and tenderness. “I love you, Erestor, more than the stars. Sleep, dear one. I will be near and hear you if you call.

That night they dined on a succulent stew made of duck and the roots and herbs the twins had gathered on the way. The counselor asked about the sky and the stars, and when they slept, Erestor laid his head on Glorfindel’s chest and listened to the steady heartbeat and calming breathing, blocking out the unsettling sounds.

In the days that followed, they passed the Midgewater Marshes, blessedly far enough away to avoid its voracious bugs; Amon Sûl; and the desolation of the Lone Lands. They stopped where they found good water to bathe and refill their skins, hunting animals and harvesting wild plants to supplement their food supplies. Each evening Erestor asked about the stars, and each night he rested his head on Glorfindel’s chest and listened to the rhythmic meter. Fourteen days into the journey, they reached the Last Bridge, crossed the River Hoarwell, and passed into the forested Angle of Rhudaur. (4) On the morning of the eighteenth day since they set out from Bree, they crossed the Ford of Bruinen into Imladris, less than a day’s ride to the Last Homely House.

They were finally home.

After the sentries greeted the small party, Erestor turned towards the twins and said, “Ride on ahead – your family is waiting for you and you must be anxious to get home. We are in our own lands now and the guards will keep an eye on us. Tell your father what happened; it will make our arrival easier and avoid an hour of questions.”

Glorfindel nodded to the twins, and after hurried goodbyes, the two younger Elves hastened away.

“Brilliant, my love,” Glorfindel said softly. “Let them answer all of Elrond’s questions instead of us.”

“There is a reason I am chief counselor,” Erestor said with a chuckle. “Elrond is sure to be upset and is going to be worse than a mother hen.”

“That he will,” Glorfindel agreed. “I suppose there’s no chance of getting you all to myself tonight, more’s the pity. Well, at least we have some hours alone together before we reach the house.”

“Just us, all alone in the woods,” Erestor said dreamily, wrapping his arm around Glorfindel’s waist and resting his head on the captain’s shoulder. “Just us and a few score hidden sentries gawking down at us from the trees.”

Glorfindel’s laughter rang out through the valley.

~~~*~~~
The bell toll announcing the return of residents of the valley rang out from the last sentry post as Elladan and Elrohir passed. By the time they reached the courtyard of the Last Homely House, their family and other Elves of the house stood waiting.

The twins quickly dismounted and turned their horses over to the waiting stable hands who would see that their saddle packs were delivered to the house. After they kissed their wives and the little twins, who finally stopped squealing at the sight of their father and uncle, Elrond embraced his sons and said, “Where are the packhorses? Did something untoward happen?”

“They are coming more slowly with the wagon that carries Glorfindel and Erestor,” Elladan said, his arm around the heavily pregnant Ellothien’s waist.

Elrond raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps you had better explain quickly, my son. You met them on the road? Why are Glorfindel and Erestor in a wagon, and what wagon?”

“Ada,” Elladan said carefully, “there is no easy way to say this. Glorfindel and Erestor were attacked on the road on the way to Bree from the Havens. Erestor was struck on the head and suffered a concussion. He has lost his eyesight, Ada. Erestor is blind.”

“Blind?” Elrond whispered incredulously. “Erestor is blind?”

“Robert, the tanner, and his family aided us greatly and loaned us a wagon for the journey,” Elrohir said. “Neither Elladan nor I can tell if his blindness is permanent. We hope you will be able to tell more.”

“And you left Erestor alone out there?” Ellothien asked, most displeased with her husband and law-brother. “How could you ride ahead and leave him alone?”

“He is hardly alone with Glorfindel, love; they are surrounded by our sentries. We did not leave them from the time we left Bree until we were within our borders. Ellothien, Ada, all of you, listen to me,” Elladan said, encompassing all of the Elves who had moved closer upon hearing about the chief counselor. “Do not dare to treat Erestor any different than you have before. He is managing very well with his blindness, but I swear to you, if any one of you makes him feel useless, you will answer to my brother and me! He needs us to be his eyes only, not to do everything for him. He is not lame, he is not deaf, and he is certainly not incapable. Ask him if he needs help, but do not take over for him unless he requests it. Do you understand me?”

“And woe betide you if you try to lead him around anywhere!” Elrohir added.

“I am riding out to meet them,” Elrond said determinedly. His mind was still reeling from the shock of learning that his dear friend, confidant, and counselor was blind.

“Ada, do not,” Elladan said. “Erestor’s injury happened twenty-one days ago. He is healing and has improved greatly on the journey here. He rarely has headaches anymore and does not tire as he did at first. I know you are anxious for him, but after so long a few hours more will not matter.”

Elrond practically growled at his eldest son.

“Elladan is right, Ada,” Elrohir said. “You should also know that Glorfindel and Erestor’s relationship has changed. It will be good for them to have the time alone together. Erestor sent us on ahead for a reason. I believe he needs this time to prepare himself for his arrival home.”

Elrond sighed, frustrated, but then nodded in agreement. “So, tell me about this new relationship between my counselor and captain,” he said.

Elrohir grinned as they began to walk into the house. “I think there will be a spare room in the family wing opening up very soon that will solve the problem of the limited space for the children.”

It was early evening when the family was once again called to the courtyard by the tolling bells. The Elflings bounced in their parents’ arms, calling out to their Gwadors Fin and Restor. Elrond moved to help Erestor alight from the wagon, looking at his unseeing eyes, when Elladan held him back.

“Don’t, Ada,” Elladan whispered when Elrond looked at him questioningly. “Let him do it. He has managed it for eighteen days on the road. If he needs help, he will ask for it.”

Elrond nodded and watched as Erestor carefully maneuvered out of the wagon, taking Glorfindel’s arm to steady himself. When the counselor was on the ground, Elrond approached. “Erestor, my dear friend,” he said quietly, embracing his old companion. “Welcome home. I have missed you and Glorfindel greatly.”

“It is good to be home,” Erestor said with relief in his voice, returning the embrace. It *was* good to be home again. This was where he knew his way around blindfolded and felt most comfortable and secure.

“After you have greeted the others I want to examine you,” Elrond said, releasing Erestor and clasping Glorfindel’s arm in welcome. He nodded to the captain, conveying so much with his look – relief to have them safely home again, gratitude for Glorfindel’s care of their friend, worry for Erestor – and then took his chief counselor’s arm and began to lead him to the Elves waiting on the house steps. “We can wait until tomorrow to discuss the results of your mission to the Havens.”

“Your pardon, Elrond.” Glorfindel stopped them and removed his lord’s hand from Erestor’s arm. Placing Erestor’s hand on Elrond’s arm instead, he said, “Never pull him along. Erestor has a deadly aim with that stick of his.”

“As if I would ever strike Elrond,” Erestor muttered. “I would just give him a gentle… tap.”

Elrond snorted and walked slowly, allowing the counselor to set the pace, understanding now what Elrohir had said about trying to lead Erestor anywhere. Erestor’s stick tap-tapped in front of them and Elrond nodded approvingly.

They greeted the rest of the family, and while Glorfindel held the excited Elflings, Erestor was nearly smothered in a dual embrace from Ellothien and Lonneth. Finally, the counselor held Boronir in his arms. The Elfling patted Erestor’s face before placing a sloppy kiss on his cheek and said, “Daurada Elwond fix you, Gwadow Westor. You home now. Daurada make it all betta.”

Berianir leaned away from Glorfindel toward Erestor and held out his arms. “You hold me now, Gwadow Westor,” he said. “You see me now.”

Erestor shifted Boronir to hold him on one hip and held his other arm out for Berianir.

Elrohir had tried to explain to his sons that their Gwador Erestor was hurt and couldn’t see them with his eyes, but he hadn’t been sure they understood. It was difficult to explain to ones so young that Erestor needed to touch them in order to ‘see’ them. Clearly, they did understand, Elrohir realized proudly. It was quite normal for Elflings to both walk and talk by one year old. Although his sons were not quite that old or walking on their own yet, their ability to speak was developing early. It seemed that their ability to comprehend difficult concepts was also developing early.

When the Elflings were back in their parents’ arms, a slender Elf stepped up to Erestor and said, “Master Erestor, it is I, Melpomaen. Welcome home.”

Erestor smiled and reached out to feel where Melpomaen stood before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, my friend. I will need your help more than ever now. You must be my eyes when we work.”

Melpomaen placed his hand over Erestor’s and squeezed it gently. He was the chief counselor’s assistant and friend, and loved and respected Erestor like an older brother. “I will gladly be your eyes, and anything else you need of me. You have only to tell me what to do.”

“Thank you, Mel,” Erestor said gratefully. He had known in his heart that Melpomaen would support him, but it was a relief to actually hear his friend say the words.

After greeting the rest of the assembled Elves and entering the house, Erestor wanted nothing more than the privacy of his own rooms with Glorfindel, but Elrond still insisted on examining him.

“Go along to your rooms, Erestor,” Elrond said. “I have just remembered something and I must gather a few things from the healing rooms. I will meet you in your rooms very shortly.”

“I don’t suppose I could convince you to wait until tomorrow morning, could I?” Erestor asked. “Oh, don’t bother to answer that. I felt the breeze from you raising your eyebrow,” he jested. “Just hurry… there is a bath that is soon to be full of warm water calling my name.”

“I will not be long,” Elrond said with a smile, happy to see his friend’s normally good spirits were not dampened by his blindness. “The servants will be bringing your supper to your rooms and you can eat while you wait for me.” He hastened away.

“Are you sure you still want to share these rooms with me, Glorfindel?” Erestor asked a little reservedly as they reached his chambers and the door closed behind them. “I am doing much better now and I will understand if you would like your privacy.”

Glorfindel removed his cloak and dropped it in a chair. Drawing Erestor into his arms, he countered the question with one of his own. “Are you sure you still want me here?”

“Of course I do! Glorfindel, you know I love you. How could I not want you here with me?” Erestor said with fervor.

“Then don’t ask silly questions,” the captain whispered, his mouth descending to cover Erestor’s in a deeply passionate kiss.

Erestor moaned and wrapped his arms around Glorfindel’s neck just as a knock sounded at the door. He broke the kiss, groaning, and laid his head on his lover’s shoulder. “Who could that be?” he asked impatiently.

“The servants with our supper would be a good guess,” Glorfindel responded, rubbing Erestor’s back soothingly. “I will get it.” They were both looking forward to a nice soothing bath, but they were also both hungry.

While the servants set the table in Erestor’s sitting room for their meal, Glorfindel whispered to the counselor that he was going to fetch some clean clothing. His rooms were just next door, so it would take only a moment for him to dash there and grab some clothes and a few other necessities. He quickly returned empty-handed. “My clothing and things are missing from my room,” he said, confused.

One of the servants looked up. “We moved your clothing and personal things into Master Erestor’s bedroom this afternoon on Lord Elrond’s instructions,” he said. “We left the items in your sitting room, as Lord Elrond said you would let us know later where you wanted things. I hope that was right, my lord?”

Glorfindel smiled at the servant. “That is just right,” he said. “My thanks.”

The servants finished laying out the meal and left. Glorfindel helped Erestor sit at the table, noticing that there was an extra bowl for the counselor. No doubt one of the twins had given instructions for it.

The two Elves made short work of their meal. After days of wild roots and game, the food tasted like a feast. They were just finishing when a knock sounded at the door and Elrond’s voice called out that it was he.

Calling out for Elrond to enter, Erestor rose and carefully tapped his way with this stick to the sofa in his sitting room, Glorfindel at his side.

“I hope I did not keep you waiting,” Elrond said, entering the room, “but I needed to find these.” He waved the pieces of black cloth he held in his hand.

“Black scarves?” Glorfindel asked. “Whatever for?”

“For an idea I have,” Elrond responded, moving a footstool and seating himself on it in front of Erestor. His gentle hands roamed over Erestor’s head, assessing any swelling and pausing here and there to feel certain spots. “I can still feel some swelling on one side of your head,” he said. Taking up a lit candle, he held it in front of Erestor’s eyes and examined them closely. “Have you any headaches still?” he asked when he had finished.

“Occasionally – not often,” Erestor replied. “And before you ask, I no longer have any nausea and I usually only need to rest once in the middle of the day.” He paused and then, nearly afraid, asked, “Will my sight return, Elrond? Do you know?”

Elrond sat back and sighed. “I do not know for certain,” he said. “But I do not sense any great damage that has not healed and I can see no direct injury to your eyes. It is possible that the swelling is still causing your blindness.”

“That is what the twins both said,” Glorfindel said. “Is there anything we can do, Elrond?”

“Possibly,” Elrond answered. “Erestor, a long, long time ago, I knew a very wise and skilled healer. He told me something once that I had nearly forgotten. Sometimes, he said, a temporary blindness is brought about by something like a blow to the head that causes swelling inside the skull, but is worsened – prolonged – because the eyes are strained. Even though you cannot see, your eyes are constantly ‘trying’ to see. It doesn’t work because something, like the swelling, is blocking them, but they don’t know that. This old healer told me that in such cases it is important to totally rest the eyes so that they stop working so hard.”

“How do I do that?” Erestor asked breathlessly, hope in his voice.

“By keeping your eyes closed and bandaged with these,” Elrond replied, placing the black scarves in Erestor’s hands for him to feel. “There are small pieces that are folded and placed over each closed eye, and a scarf to tie around your head to hold the small pads in place.”

“And this will… rest … my eyes?” Erestor asked.

“Yes,” the master healer replied. “You must keep your eyes covered as much as you can, Erestor. You may remove the bandages while you bathe and if they trouble your sleep, but other than that, keep them on.”

“For how long much I wear them?” the counselor asked.

“I am not certain,” Elrond said. “Each person is different and heals differently, but if this is going to work, I would expect to see some improvement within a month.”

Erestor nodded. “I will wear them.” Hope soared in his heart.

Tbc….


Daurada: Grandfather

(3). Weathertop overlooks the Great East Road east of Bree, about midway between the Shire and Rivendell. The hill rises a thousand feet above the level lands round about, and was the site of a watchtower in the days of Arnor. The watchtower and fortifications were burned and destroyed in T.A. 1409, but the top is still flat and surrounded by a ring of stones. A path leads from the top northward, connecting to the other fortresses of the Weather Hills. The tower originally held one of the seven palantíri. The Tower of Amon Sûl is a watch-tower on Weathertop hill. It was once tall and fair, but by the end of the Third Age only ruins remained. The Tower of Amon Sûl was built in the first days of the North-kingdom of Arnor, which was founded in 3320 of the Second Age. At that time, the seven palantíri were divided and placed in different parts of Gondor and Arnor. The largest and most powerful palantír in the North was kept in the Tower of Amon Sûl. The Stone of Amon Sûl was the chief palantír used for communicating with Gondor. The palantír was kept on a round table of black marble with a curved depression in the surface where the seeing-stone was set. It was said that Elendil watched from the Tower of Amon Sûl for the arrival of Gil-galad before the Last Alliance set out to wage war against Sauron. (Wikipedia)

(4). Rhudaur (Eastern Forest) was the most easterly of the three regions in Eriador, stretching from the Weather Hills with Weathertop (Amon Sûl) to the river Bruinen (Loudwater). It shared a long border with Cardolan along the Great East Road, and with Arthedain along the line of the Weather Hills. The land between the rivers Hoarwell and Bruinen was also considered part of Rhudaur. It was called the Angle, and it is here that the first Stoor Hobbits came into Eriador around T.A. 1150. However, due to the increasing hostility of Angmar these Stoors fled the region around T.A. 1356, with some of them moving west to the Shire, and others moving back to Wilderland. There is evidence that after the fall of Angmar at the Battle of Fornost the Angle became home to the remainder of the Dúnedain, and the Rangers of the North established several villages there, where their people lived until the resurrection of the northern Kingdom under King Elessar at the end of the Third Age. But northern Rhudaur remained wild and dangerous for the rest of that Age: Arador was slain here by hill-trolls in T.A. 2930, and his son Arathorn II fell in battle with Orcs in T.A. 2933. And in T.A. 2941, trolls captured the company of Thorin at the start of The Hobbit. (Wikipedia)