Touching Tomorrow

Title: Touching Tomorrow – Part Five

Beta: keiliss

Contact: legolaslovesaragorn@yahoo.co.uk or glorfindelanderestor@yahoo.co.uk

Pairing: Erestor/Elrond

Rating for this chapter: Pg-13

Warnings for this chapter: Very Au, implied Violence, implied M-Preg

Disclaimer: Don’t own these elves, sadly.

Please R/R, feedback would be most appreciated.

Summary: Morning Memories…

Chapter 5

Daylight slowly filters through the cold glass of the apartment window, finding the gap in the dark curtains. A thin gash of light streams across the bed, but this time it falls onto a tossing figure, who is very much awake…

I turn uneasily, in some limbo between sleep and wakefulness. I can’t sleep though, equally, I can’t yet face rising to an empty house, where fears and memories jump out at me from every corner. I know I am alone. I have already been up this morning, and I could feel right away that something was wrong….

~Flashback~

Erestor pulled the blanket more closely around himself as sleep began to fall away from him, but, though he fought it, he was soon returned to the waking world. He was immediately on edge. Something in the air just felt wrong; he could sense it, he could feel it, and his mind was immediately alert.

Throwing off the covers he leapt from the bed, ignoring the cold floor and the chilling air of early morning. Grabbing a sleeping robe from behind the door, he covered his form and almost ran from the room, franticly entering Rodoniel’s. Empty. Into the kitchen, the bathroom – empty. He even threw open the door to the forbidden study, but all in vain.

Empty – that was a good word. If you looked in a dictionary, this is what you would be likely to find: containing
nothing, not holding or having anything within, void of contents, hollow, or emptied of emotion. The rooms
were all empty, and so was Erestor, barren of any feeling within.

Distraught with pain and worry, his heart deadened with want and need for Rodoniel and horror that Elrond
had stolen him away, Erestor could no more tell where Elrond had taken their son than he could know for
how long. They could be back the same day, or it might be weeks.

In a state of denial, he slowly drifted back into the cold bedroom, seeing nothing. He crawled back under
the chilled covers, even though he was not tired. Returning to bed could not keep his memories completely
at bay, but sleep, even an uneasy half-sleep, might calm his thoughts.

~end of flashback~

Elrond is gone and Rodoniel with him.

My heart aches, screaming out for my child whom I have cherished since birth, raised almost alone, and
loved above all others – and now Elrond has taken him from me, snatched my little angel, who is sometimes
my only reason to keep going.

As I lie alone in the cold bed, time passes, unhindered by my grief, and eventually I know I must rise, for
the day is wearing on late, and the sun would be high, were the clouds not blocking it and casting a grey
and grim light over everything.

A clear ringing breaks through my thoughts, loud and blatant. I fly from the bed, dashing through the house
as I realize what it is, and I grab the phone carelessly, bringing it to my ear and whispering into it desperately.

“Hello?”

Elrond’s cold, cruel drawl answers me.

“Hello, love. Having a good day?” he asks sarcastically, and I can almost see his smirk.

“Where is he? What have you done to him?” I demand in terror, clutching the phone so tightly it is amazing
that it does not break.

“How dare you speak to me like that!” he hisses, his smirk and sarcasm gone, to be replaced by fury.
He continues in a commanding tone.

"He’s here with me, Erestor, and we won’t be back till late. Don’t bother with dinner, we won’t need it.
Clean the house, do all the things that need attention, do the shopping just before the store closes, and
don’t contact your ‘friend’. If you do, you’ll regret it. Goodbye.”

“No, don’t….” But he is gone, and the dull dial tone echoes in my ear. I drop the phone onto the charger miserably.
I am relived that they will be back the same day, but I am still deeply unhappy, and the memories still leap out at me
from every picture, candle, book.

Numbly, I automatically turn the radio on, before stumbling to the table, sinking down into one of the seats, my
head falling into my hands. I let the music wash over me, hardly hearing the song or the lyrics, as my memories
flood my mind….

~Flashback~

Erestor smiled softly, though behind the smile was a kind of hidden pain. He was standing in the
shadows of an arch, looking out over the bright grass to where his Lord and Lady sat having a picnic.

She was radiant. Her silver-gold locks were flowing loose about her shoulders, floating in the wind
as she shook her head in laughter, her slender body beneath the elegant white dress shaking with mirth.

But it was his Lord who held his attention.

Valar, he was beautiful, so perfect and merry. Long black hair, held off his face by a Mithril circlet,
cascaded down his back, shimmering in the light. He, too, shook with laughter, his face shining with
love and delight as they laughed together. They talked – but Erestor couldn’t hear what they said, nor
did he want to; this was their time, not his.

His Lord’s eyes were sparkling sea-grey, though the words did them no justice, and they twinkled
with a love for life that was unique unto him. Rich red robes graced a body which was muscular, though
not overly so, and his skin brought to mind a warm peach, though his lips were a deeper shade, akin to ruby

Erestor sighed as he watched them, but he did not feel part of it, hidden as he was in the shadows.

Suddenly Celebrian turned and, smiling warmly, beckoned him over to join them. Elrond turned
as well and seconded his wife.

Smiling, Erestor left the cool shade and crossed the lush grass to join them, sitting down beside
Elrond. Smiling, Elrond wrapped an arm about his waist and pulled him close as Celebrian moved
to be on his other side, welcoming him with a soft kiss that brought a flush to both of their cheeks.
He could feel Elrond nuzzling his neck, and he smiled against Celebrian’s lips, feeling he was, once
more, where he belonged.

“Glad you joined us, love...” Elrond murmured in his ear as the kiss slowly ended.

“We were missing you,” Celebrian whispered to him, snuggling against his other side as her arm
found his waist as well.

“We love you, Erestor. Don’t live in the shadows when you could be here with us.”

Both purred together, Elrond’s deeper voice, his nose buried in Erestor’s raven hair, and Celebrian’s
softer one, her head resting against his shoulder and he could not help but be consumed by their love.

“I won’t.... I promise. It will be us three together, forever”

~End of flashback~

A heavy sob rents the air as the memory fades and I come back to myself.

“Come back... no, please, don’t leave me here alone...” I cry aloud, clutching at the air, trying to
grasp the happy memory, but it’s gone, swept away by the tide of time, and I am alone once more.
The radio still plays, and the clock still ticks, and my heavy breathing overshadows the low hum of
electricity running through the house.

I remember those days, clearly. Oh, how I wish I was still there!

Oh Celebrian, Celebrian, my darling, how your heart would break to see what we've become.
How you would weep if you could see how much we miss you, if you could see what this parting has
done to us.

We were so happy; the three of us. A love so deep was rare and treasured.

Celebrian, our queen of mithril and gold; you were so beautiful, your heart so warm and giving, your
mind witty and clever.

How I loved you, how we both did – who wouldn’t love you?

I remember how you used to laugh, one of us on either side of you, a soft but clear sound, full of
mirth and love. There could never be another who loved so freely and unconditionally as you, our
sweet, compassionate Lily.

You’ll always be my Lily, even though you are no longer here with us. I remember the way you were,
and I hope that you are once more like that, living an unending life of bliss in Valinor. You never deserved
to suffer as you did.

I wish I could have kept my promise, that things had turned out differently….

~Flashback~

The sky was a neutral grey above the havens, and not a single gull dared break the grim silence
that enclosed it. The ship lay in the dock, majestic in grey and crowned with white sails, but there
was no joy on the air, no longing for travel, only a soul-deep lament.

A dozen or so elves had come to bid their last goodbyes to the fair Lady of Imladris, but less than
half still remained, only those held closest to her heart.

The Lady herself stood upon the faded wood of the docks before the gangplank. She looked much
as she always had, though her ever present smile had gone, and her eyes… None of those present
could bear such a thing to be suffered by their dearly loved Lady.

The eyes are the windows of the soul – and Celebrian’s soul was broken; there was no peace or joy
for her anymore. Elrond and Erestor had healed her physically since the terrible incident, but, though
they did their best, only the light of Aman could heal her mind.

And so here they were, at the Gray Havens, the only place that offered hope of moving on, though at a price.

Erestor’s arm was wrapped around Elrond’s shoulder, and he held him close as they both tried to
hold back the silent tears that were streaming down their faces.

Celeborn and Galadriel stood silently before Celebrian, and each embraced her, whispering soft words
of love to her, before they stood back to let the heartbroken pair say their last goodbyes to their wife.

One on either side, they both stepped forward and wrapped their arms around her, and she about
them, and they clung tightly together, their tears mingling as their time together grew short.

“Oh Celebrian, how will I go on without you?” Elrond sobbed softly into her shoulder, unable to let her go.
He was distraught, his heart broken, and he had screamed, and he had cursed, until his throat was raw
and he could scream no more, but it changed nothing.

“I’m...I’m going to m-miss you so m-much, Lily,” Erestor whispered, smiling at her weakly through his tears,
trying to put on a brave face for her.

“I’m so sor-“

“Don’t be, love; it’s not your fault. Just you p-promise to heal, Lily…” he urged her.

“This …This is not goodbye forever, is it?” she asked Erestor, looking at him pleadingly.

“No, love… we will meet again someday, and you will be healed, and we will live in bliss,” Erestor assured
her before stepping back, though it broke his heart, to let her board the ship.

“Goodbye, Love...” he whispered with a bitter smile as, with a last, longing look, she boarded, and the ship
slowly hauled up anchor and left the dock.

Elrond clung to Erestor, who tried to comfort him as best he could, although he was equally empty inside.

And so, clinging together, they watched the ship until it was far from view, and the love of Celebrian, Elrond,
and Erestor came to an end.

~End of flashback~

“Oh Celebrian, I still miss you with all my heart...” I whimper, as the memory of our last moments together ends.

If you were still here, Lily, would things be different?

I still talk to you as though you were here, Lily, I still ask you things as though you could hear and answer, and
every time I only receive silence, because you are not here, love, you are in Aman.

After you left, everything moved so quickly - not time in itself, but things changed fast, much too fast. Elrond
withdrew deeply; he would never again be exactly the same. After a while it seemed he recovered, except
when alone with me – Ai, he scares me so sometimes, Celebrian.

He ignored me completely for a long time after you left. Though I was constantly at his side, it was as though
he could not see me. Eventually, he began to notice me again, and if I had though being ignored hurt, it was
nothing compared to the hate he had for me, deep inside his broken heart.

He took to yelling at me; telling me it was my fault you left – telling me I killed our love.

And I suppose I believed him… Elrond loves me; he would never lie to me, no matter how he hurts me.

But what I hated most – it was as though you were dead, Lily. He talked of you as though you were dead, not
just waiting in Aman. And he never let us sail. When the last boat left, I cried with all my heart, for all hope of us
being re-united was shattered, any chance we had to rebuild our love was lost in that moment.

Wiping the tears away from my eyes, I take a deep breath to calm myself; I don’t want to be carried away in my
memories again.

Glancing at the clock, I start in shock as I realize how late it is already - I still have work to do before I go shopping!

I rise slowly, as my mind is still not completely clear, and walk through to Rodoniel’s room, then to ours, collecting
up the dirty clothing.

After carefully sorting it, I put the first load in the washer, adding the powder before turning it on and leaving it to
work, for I have other things to do.


TBC


HHS : yes, it does happen, and that’s the sad thing, sort of the point of the story, that I try to make it as realistic as possible to show the meaning.

Ishkibibbles : lol, glad you’re enjoying it; I hope it gets more interesting as it goes on, please keep reading :)