The secret life

Part 5


Greenwood the Great, 1432 T.A.

This was their last day in Greenwood. They had stayed for a week, until Elrohir had beeen well again. The young elf’s wound had already healed, he was still a little weak, but none the less the Imladris’ elves would travel home the next morning.
The day was still young, Elladan was sitting on his brother’s bed, the younger twin paced the room.
“Six days, Elladan! SIX DAYS! We have been inside the whole week... I’ve seen nothing more than this room... I’m going mad! Can’t we go out? Just a little walk. We will return at once if I’m starting to feel weak... saes!!!”
“Elrohir, you know we are not allowed to walk around in the palace.”
“Yeah – but king Thranduil said nothing about the gardens, did he? Saes, Elladan...”
“Allright, I can’t possibly turn you down... but only a short walk in the gardens! And we should be very careful, that no one will see us outside our rooms. I don’t want to embarras Adar with our behaviour.”
Slowly and quiet they sneaked out of the room and through the corridors.


At the same time in another part of the palace:

Legolas was bored. No one had time to play with him today, his father had to rule, his mother was writing some letters, Séregon was needed at the borders and Kela visited an old friend. The little one felt abandoned... he felt lonely... he felt...
// Stop – Ama – stop at once... it is a too fine day to be so moody... such a nice warm summer day! To warm to stay inside!//
He grabbed his little bow and the quiver and headed for one of the secluded gardens. There he began to shoot at one of the old trees growing there and didn’t stop until all of his little arrows stuck in the wood.
Exhausted but smiling he let himself fall into the grass. But after a few minutes relaxing in the sun, he felt bored again. He surveyed the gardens with its shallow ponds.
//Perhaps I could try a little swim...//
He jumped up, undressed and waded in the water, that was so shallow, he could stand even at the deepest point, so there was no danger. He tried his best, but after a few swim strokes, he always got under the surface.

Elladan and Elrohir walked through the gardens, when they saw a little elfling frolicking and laughing in the water. They neared the scene and Elrohir cleared his throat. Legolas froze in his motions and curiously eyed the strangers... two identical strangers... in warriors garment. At this moment, Legolas became aware of his own naked state. He blushed and quickly grasped his clothing to cover his private parts.
“Hello there pen-neth,” Elladan called. “No need to be shy. You’ re not the first naked little boy we’ve seen.”
Legolas was confused. //Why did they call me a little BOY?//
“I hope you don’t mind, if we join you. It really is a good day for a bath outside, what say you Elrohir?”
Elladan started to undress. As soon as all clothes had gone from the older elves body, Legolas held his breath.
//This warrior looks like me... more mature, but there are no real differences between his body and mine... but if, if there are no differences between a warrior’s body and mine.... but girls cannot become warriors... and he’s a warrior..and I’m a girl...and... but... why...?// The elfling shook his head in desperate confusion and ran away... he ran towards the palace in search of his father, of Kela, of answers...


***

A knock at the kings study. Thranduil laid the document, he was reading, aside and watched Kela enter the room.
“Kela, what can I do for you?”
“Your highness... I... there has been a little incidence today. Your ion just asked me if I was sure, that girls cannot become warriors... apparently he was swimming this morning... naked... and the twins were walking in the gardens, they wore their warrior garments, you see, and... they wanted to join him...and so they undressed and... he...he saw them... naked and...”
“What did you tell him?”
“I said that he should ask you this question!!!”
The king panicked.
“Oh, that’s not good... not good... what do I tell him... I ...I could tell him that in Imladris, girls are allowed to be warriors... or I tell him, that what he saw were no warrior garments.... or that their dresses were dirty...or..or”
Kela stepped at her kings side and laid her hand on the monarchs arm.
“It’s over, your Highness. No more lies. Tell him the truth!”
Thranduil sighed and slumped into the chair behind his desk.
“You’re right Kela, it is time! This was the day, I feared the most for more than a century – and now it has come... tell Legolas that I won’t be there for dinner, but that I come and answer all his questions tonight. I must speak with my wife first... oh, and please, could you make sure that Lord Elrond will meet me in the library in about two hours? I have to speak with him too.”


***


Elrond nervously paced the library... Thranduil had to speak with him? He was sure that this had to do with the fact, that his sons had sneaked out their rooms and possibly had frightened a little one, who had been playing in the gardens, as Elladan earlier had confessed. Now the elvenlord was hoping that the small steps to a new intercourse with Thranduil hadn’t been ruined.
He heard the door open and the king enter the room and prepared himself for the worst. But instead of an angry monarch, he saw a worried elf, who walked slowly towards the settee near the fireplace, looking so very tired and sad.
“Thranduil – Elladan already told me about their sneaking out... I hope you can forgive...”
“I did not ask you to come because of their behaviour - worry not. Please take a seat... Have a glass of wine with me...” He poured them both a glass of wine, that was standing at a small table beside.
“Actually I’ve summoned you here to ask a favor, Elrond.”
“What ever it is – it’s done. You saved my ion’s life – I’m forever indebted to you.”
“This was a very long day, and the most difficult part is yet to come... Your sons got something going today, that perhaps should have started years ago. You’ve said that I saved your ion – perhaps you can now save mine!”
“Thranduil – I don’t understand...”
“Let me tell you a story Elrond. - It began long ago, before the last alliance and the fall of Sauron. I was still crownpince, the only child of the `Great Oropher´, you knew me back then, I was an arrogant bastard. I always thought I could take whatever I wanted without to pay the price – I was such a fool. One day, an istari came to my father’s court, Rodalan was his name. He was young and handsome and when I discovered that he had fallen in love with me, I took him in my bed for a short time. I did not love him, but he satisfied my needs. When I had enough, I left him. I told him that I would marry an elleth, because I needed an heir, a crownprince for Greenwood. He swore, that if my first child would be an ion, he would come back and kill him...”
“But Thranduil, you...”
“No, let me please go on. Centuries passed, my father fell, I became king, I married and I forgot Rodalan’s threat. But then, news were spreading, that the queen was pregnant and I received a `gift´ from my ex-lover: a cradle covered with blood, and I remembered. I told my wife everything and every night we prayed to the Valar to send us a daughter, but they didn’t answer our prayers. Elrond, the queen bore me an ion! First I was devasted, but when I held him in my arms for the very first time, I loved him with all my heart and I thanked the Valar, because never before I had seen such perfection. I vowed to protect him at all cost. Elrond – you must understand that everything, I did back then, I did to ensure his safety, even if it all was a great mistake... I... I announced the birth of a daughter, and I raised my son as a little princess.”
“You did what?”
“It was the only way. I was sure, Rodalan wouldn’t hurt a daughter of mine. Except for a few trusted people, no one knows, not even my ion himself... he was raised as a girl, as Amariel, princess of Greenwood... I made sure, no one would ever find out, and not even Legolas, that’s my son’s real name, himself discovered the truth... until today...”
“Your ion saw mine and vice versa...”
“Yes...now I can’t hold on to all those lies any longer... tonight I’ll tell him the truth. And now that you know this, Elrond, I need your help.”
“Tell me, what can I do?”

***

It was already late when Thranduil came to his son’s room, but Legolas wasn’t tired. To many questions were on his mind, todays events had confused to much. The king sat down on the bed, placed an arm around the little one’s shoulders and sighed.
“This is going to be the most difficult task I ever faced in all my years. I know you have many questions – ask them!”
“Adar – I saw those warriors today and they looked like me... but you’ve always said: Girls do not become warriors! So, how can that be?”
“Have you ever seen another girl without chlothes, pen-neth? I know you haven’t. If you had seen one, you would have recognized some bodily differences. It is right: girls do not become warriors, but those two you’ve seen today were no girls, but boys... boys like YOU!!!”
“No, Adar, NO! I’m your little girl... you’ve always said that – I’m your IELL.”
“You are my child, but not my iell. You are my ION... and your real name is not Amariel, but LEGOLAS.”
“No, I don’t believe you! You are just joking, aren’t you? - Aren’t you, Adar?”
“I’m sorry pen-neth, but it’s the truth. You may ask your mother if you don’t believe me...”
“This cannot be true. You MUST be joking! Why should you do such a thing?”
“To protect you!”
“Protect me?”
“This all began long before you were born, when I wasn’t even king yet. I met someone, an istari named Rodalan... I... I was not a very nice elf back then... I made many mistakes, said some things, which I regret now... I hurt him very much... and he vowed that one day I would pay for that, he vowed that he would harm my first born ion... that he would harm you!”
“But can’t you just tell him, that you are sorry for what you’ ve done?”
“I wish it were that simple, but Rodalan turned to evil long ago. He knows only hatred now. He wouldn’t listen to my apologies. When you were born, there was only one way to protect you and that was to pretend you were a girl.”
“I... I don’t understand that.” The little voice trembled.
Thranduil soothingly stroked Legolas hair.
“I know, I know – forgive me. This is very much for you to take. But it was time for you to learn the truth.”
For a few minutes, both of them sat in silence. Legolas was still trying to understand everything, his adar just told him. Could it be? Was he really a boy? Legolas – this name was so alien to him... What would that mean for his life from now on?
Thranduil cleared his throat and continued:
“Today, I talked to Lord Elrond. He’s willing to take you with him to Imladris, Legolas. No one would know of your origin there, you would be safe-“
“NO! You’ll send me away?”
“Legolas-“
“NO! My name is Ama! I’m your iell!”
Legolas couldn’t hold back his tears any longer, but cried his heart out. His father burried in a deep embrace.
“Hush- my little one. Yes, if you want to, you can stay my little Ama. But I want you to understand what this would mean: you would live as my daughter, but always stay hidden in these walls, possibly forever. You would have no friends - except for the people, you already knew – for no one else would be allowed to talk to you. If you go to Imladris, you will live there as what you are, as a boy, but not as my son. You would learn how to fight, you would train with the mighty Lord Glorfindel and perhaps one day become a great warrior. You would meet many interesting people, for sure you would make some friends. I think this would be best for you, but I do not want to make this decision for you.YOU must decide whether to live your life as a girl here in Greenwood, or as a boy in Imladris. But one thing you must know: your naneth and I, we love you and we are proud of you, no matter which way you go. You will never truly loose us, no matter where you are. - It’s up to you now...”


Translation:

saes - please
adar - father
pen-neth - little one
iell - daughter
naneth - mother


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This chapter was a little difficult to write.... I had a few ways in mind for Legolas to find out... but most sceneries rose a lot of new questions, so I've decided to let it happen this way - I hope you like it...

HHS: Thanks a lot... well I think that Legolas never really gave thought to elvish anatomy... Remember he was isolated, so why should he... The only other elves he met were his family and they avoided the topic completely! So at first it was not important for Legolas, if he was boy or girl... except for one fact: He always wanted to become a warrior... like Haldir! :-)

Carinito: Thank you! Yes, Ama/Legolas is a real sweetheart... I think I already miss the little one from chapter 2!!! Perhaps sometimes I'm gonna write a memory-scene for her... we'll seeabout that...

crowesaga: hope you like it... like I've said... wasn't an easy thing to write!


all others: Hannon le for your reviews ... I'm so glad you like the story


Greetings

Githoniel