Is He or Isn't He?
folder
Lord of the Rings Movies › General › Lord of the Ring Stars
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
3,676
Reviews:
14
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › General › Lord of the Ring Stars
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
3,676
Reviews:
14
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is work of fiction! I do not know the celebrity(ies) I am writing about, and I do not profit from these writings.
V: You're From Iowa?
Title: Is He or Isn't He?
Pairings: Orlando Bloom/Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom/Viggo Mortensen
Rating: Overall: NC-17. This chapter: NC-17. I use the word "fuck" entirely too often, methinks. Oh well. I rather like it.
Summary: Oh, so cheesy. Elijah tells Orlando how he feels. Fluff! A little tiny bit o'sex. Suspense. Yes.
Archive: Limey Sugar; all others please ask.
Beta: Nope. This is just for fun. I didn't take it seriously enough for a beta.
Notes: To my knowledge, none of the events described in this *fiction* ever happened. That is why it is called fiction. I do not know any of these people personally (much to my chagrin), and therefore cannot make factual statements regarding any of their respective sexual orientations. There is no intent to cause harm to any person or make a profit from this writing.
Thoughts in -in --...--, and emphases are written as *"¦*.
Feedback and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism are always welcome at: limey_sugar@yahoo.co.uk.
Want more Orli fic? Send email to the above addy for an invite to the Limey Sugar group on Yahoo! Groups.
****
Chapter Five: You're From Iowa?
"What do you suppose *that* was all about?"
"Dunno, mate. "˜S hard to tell with Orli." Billy put his empty pint glass he bhe bar and motioned to the barman for a refill.
"Think he's hot for Lij?"
"Yeah. I think Lij's hot for him too, if you wanna know the truth."
"Hmm," Dom took a long draught of beer before continuing. "You think?"
"Sometimes. But really, I think they're buggering like bunnies behind our backs. They're probably getting it on in the loo right now."
"Shut. The. Fuck. Up."
"Turns you on, doesn't it, Sblomie?"
"Oh, yes. Thinking about my two best mates fucking each other in a public toilet is all it takes to get me in the mood. How ever did you find out?"
"Thought you might be a pervy bastard."
"*You're* the pervy bastard. The way you're carrying on about it. Why don't -"
"Carrying on about what?"
"Ehm, nothing, Lij." Dominic nearly spit his beer in Billy's face when Elijah spoke. He hadn't anticipated him being there.
"Oh-kay then. n'n' Orli are gonna go. He drank too much and I'm taking him home."
"Sure, Elijah. You make sure Orli gets tucked in to bed all nice and snug." Billy exchanged glances with Dom. Of course Dom and Billy knew Orlando wasn't drunk; he'd told them as much before going after Elijah. "Don't take advantage of him."
Elijah punched Billy in the arm and headed toward the door where Orlando was standing. He wasn't sure what in Hell Billy and Dom were on about, and we wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. He'd heard something about Billy being a pervy bastard, but that wasn't anything new.
"Told you they were fucking." Billy was *sure* of this. Absolutely sure.
"And I told you to shut the fuck up."
*~*~*
Orlando tossed his keys onto the end table and looked at Elijah. The car ride back to Orlando's flat had been strangely silent, and even now, Orlando wasn't quite sure what to say.
"So, why then? Why him and not me?" Good thing Lij knew how to break the silence. "I mean, if it has anything to do with the other night, I can only say I'm sorry- "
"Forget about it."
"Not until I tell you why it happened. Please."
"Alright, then," Orlando sighed. "You want something to drink?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just listen." Elijah threw himself down onto Orli's couch and leant his head back against the arm. His heart was beating so fast and so hard he was certain it would come flying out of his chest and land on the coffee table.
"Go ahead." Orlando handed Elijah a Coke and sat in the chair across the room.
"I'm thinking of how I want to say this. It's not easy, you know." Elijah shifted on the couch. "I feel like a little kid, telling a girl on the playground I have a crush on her."
"You've got a crush on me? That's cute." Cute. Fucking cute.
"No, not a crush, really. I don't know." But Elijah *did* know. He knew that he would be terribly heartbroken if he told Orlando how he really felt and Orlando laughed at him. "I mean, I can't explain it. There's just *something*. You're an amazing person, Orli. You do all these crazy things, and you don't even care what people think about you."
--Wrong. I care what *you* think.--
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"You asked a question. I answered it. If you keep interrupting me, I'll never get this out." Elijah didn't think he would anyway. His palms were starting to sweat and his throat was going dry despite the Coke he was drinking. "Me, Dom, and Billy were just wondering if maybe you were a home team kind of guy or what, and the next thing I knew, we were talking about how to find out. Then you were there, and I- "
"I know this part already. We went over this." Orlando wanted Elijah to get to the part where he said that he wanted them to be together, and he didn't give a flying fig what anyone else thought. He was coming to that, wasn't he?
"Do you have any clue how fucking hard this is for me, Orlando? I don't think you do." Elijah stood up and was pacing about the room. "There's nothing at stake here for you."
"You don't know that."
"What? What do you care if some stupid kid from stupid Iowa falls in love with you? You've probably got a boyfriend or something in London anyway. All fucking cool and shit." Elijah thought he was going to be sick.
"You're from Iowa?" Orlando had no idea what else to say. His brain turned to sludge and his stomach fell into his toes when Elijah said he was in love with him. "I didn't know that."
"I gotta go. I'll call a cab or something. See you on set."
"You can't just say something like that and leave. Fuck, we have to talk about this." Now Orlando was pacing. And sweaty. And . . .
"What are you gonna tell me? "˜This is just a film set thing, it'll go away.' I've been on enough film sets, Orli. I've heard that before, so just save your breath."
"Shut up. Just shut up!" Orlando gripped Elijah's shoulders so he couldn't turn away. "Don't fucking assume you know what I'm going to say." He moved one hand around the back of Lij's head and drew the shorter man closer. Elijah could feel Orlando's heart racing as Orli held Lij's head to his chest. "Don't assume, because you're wrong."
"What?" Elijah pulled away and looked up at Orli.
"You know why I was so hurt over your little game? Yeah, I was a bit cheesed because you lot thought I was the evening's entertainment, but more because of you- specifically." Orlando took a deep breath. "Look, when Billy told me that you wanted to know- and all you had to do was ask me, by the way- I thought maybe there could be something."
"Fuck, Orli. I didn't-"
"Well, I wasn't going to put an advert in the bloody paper, now was I?"
"Would have been easier." Elijah half-smiled at Orlando, still unsure if what was going on was really going on. "Saved us both some trouble."
"What about you? *You* could have said something too, you know."
Elijah'd wanted to. He'd gone to Orli's with the intention of putting it all out there, but when he saw Viggo's car, he'd lost his nerve. It had seemed as though Orlando's affections were already spoken for. And Elijah was no match for Viggo, or so he thought.
"Oh, well. I don't reckon it matters now. We're both here; we've both said how we feel." Orlando turned away and went back to sit on the chair. "Now we've got to decide what we want to do about it."
"I know what *I* want to do about it." A ridiculously stupid grin spread across Elijah's face and he went to the chair and straddled Orli's lap.
"What?"
"Stop talking about it and fuck already."
"Words of wisdom, Lij."
*~*~*
--Surreal. Sur-fucking-real.--
Orlando was on his back, Elijah was above him, his cock sunk so deep into Orli's body that Orli thought he'd split in two at any moment. When Elijah pulled backwards, Orlando was certain he'd be turned inside out.
"Harder, Orli?"
"Fuck yes." Barely a whisper.
"Like that?"
"Harder."
"Ohhhrli, I dohhhn't thiiink-" Elijah couldn't get the rest of his sentence out in articulate words as he came inside Orlando.
*~*~*
"Orlando?" A voice called from Orli's loungeroom. "Are you here? Your door's not locked. I was going to call, but then I thought "˜fuck it.' Orli?"
To Be Continued. . .
Pairings: Orlando Bloom/Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom/Viggo Mortensen
Rating: Overall: NC-17. This chapter: NC-17. I use the word "fuck" entirely too often, methinks. Oh well. I rather like it.
Summary: Oh, so cheesy. Elijah tells Orlando how he feels. Fluff! A little tiny bit o'sex. Suspense. Yes.
Archive: Limey Sugar; all others please ask.
Beta: Nope. This is just for fun. I didn't take it seriously enough for a beta.
Notes: To my knowledge, none of the events described in this *fiction* ever happened. That is why it is called fiction. I do not know any of these people personally (much to my chagrin), and therefore cannot make factual statements regarding any of their respective sexual orientations. There is no intent to cause harm to any person or make a profit from this writing.
Thoughts in -in --...--, and emphases are written as *"¦*.
Feedback and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism are always welcome at: limey_sugar@yahoo.co.uk.
Want more Orli fic? Send email to the above addy for an invite to the Limey Sugar group on Yahoo! Groups.
****
Chapter Five: You're From Iowa?
"What do you suppose *that* was all about?"
"Dunno, mate. "˜S hard to tell with Orli." Billy put his empty pint glass he bhe bar and motioned to the barman for a refill.
"Think he's hot for Lij?"
"Yeah. I think Lij's hot for him too, if you wanna know the truth."
"Hmm," Dom took a long draught of beer before continuing. "You think?"
"Sometimes. But really, I think they're buggering like bunnies behind our backs. They're probably getting it on in the loo right now."
"Shut. The. Fuck. Up."
"Turns you on, doesn't it, Sblomie?"
"Oh, yes. Thinking about my two best mates fucking each other in a public toilet is all it takes to get me in the mood. How ever did you find out?"
"Thought you might be a pervy bastard."
"*You're* the pervy bastard. The way you're carrying on about it. Why don't -"
"Carrying on about what?"
"Ehm, nothing, Lij." Dominic nearly spit his beer in Billy's face when Elijah spoke. He hadn't anticipated him being there.
"Oh-kay then. n'n' Orli are gonna go. He drank too much and I'm taking him home."
"Sure, Elijah. You make sure Orli gets tucked in to bed all nice and snug." Billy exchanged glances with Dom. Of course Dom and Billy knew Orlando wasn't drunk; he'd told them as much before going after Elijah. "Don't take advantage of him."
Elijah punched Billy in the arm and headed toward the door where Orlando was standing. He wasn't sure what in Hell Billy and Dom were on about, and we wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. He'd heard something about Billy being a pervy bastard, but that wasn't anything new.
"Told you they were fucking." Billy was *sure* of this. Absolutely sure.
"And I told you to shut the fuck up."
*~*~*
Orlando tossed his keys onto the end table and looked at Elijah. The car ride back to Orlando's flat had been strangely silent, and even now, Orlando wasn't quite sure what to say.
"So, why then? Why him and not me?" Good thing Lij knew how to break the silence. "I mean, if it has anything to do with the other night, I can only say I'm sorry- "
"Forget about it."
"Not until I tell you why it happened. Please."
"Alright, then," Orlando sighed. "You want something to drink?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just listen." Elijah threw himself down onto Orli's couch and leant his head back against the arm. His heart was beating so fast and so hard he was certain it would come flying out of his chest and land on the coffee table.
"Go ahead." Orlando handed Elijah a Coke and sat in the chair across the room.
"I'm thinking of how I want to say this. It's not easy, you know." Elijah shifted on the couch. "I feel like a little kid, telling a girl on the playground I have a crush on her."
"You've got a crush on me? That's cute." Cute. Fucking cute.
"No, not a crush, really. I don't know." But Elijah *did* know. He knew that he would be terribly heartbroken if he told Orlando how he really felt and Orlando laughed at him. "I mean, I can't explain it. There's just *something*. You're an amazing person, Orli. You do all these crazy things, and you don't even care what people think about you."
--Wrong. I care what *you* think.--
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"You asked a question. I answered it. If you keep interrupting me, I'll never get this out." Elijah didn't think he would anyway. His palms were starting to sweat and his throat was going dry despite the Coke he was drinking. "Me, Dom, and Billy were just wondering if maybe you were a home team kind of guy or what, and the next thing I knew, we were talking about how to find out. Then you were there, and I- "
"I know this part already. We went over this." Orlando wanted Elijah to get to the part where he said that he wanted them to be together, and he didn't give a flying fig what anyone else thought. He was coming to that, wasn't he?
"Do you have any clue how fucking hard this is for me, Orlando? I don't think you do." Elijah stood up and was pacing about the room. "There's nothing at stake here for you."
"You don't know that."
"What? What do you care if some stupid kid from stupid Iowa falls in love with you? You've probably got a boyfriend or something in London anyway. All fucking cool and shit." Elijah thought he was going to be sick.
"You're from Iowa?" Orlando had no idea what else to say. His brain turned to sludge and his stomach fell into his toes when Elijah said he was in love with him. "I didn't know that."
"I gotta go. I'll call a cab or something. See you on set."
"You can't just say something like that and leave. Fuck, we have to talk about this." Now Orlando was pacing. And sweaty. And . . .
"What are you gonna tell me? "˜This is just a film set thing, it'll go away.' I've been on enough film sets, Orli. I've heard that before, so just save your breath."
"Shut up. Just shut up!" Orlando gripped Elijah's shoulders so he couldn't turn away. "Don't fucking assume you know what I'm going to say." He moved one hand around the back of Lij's head and drew the shorter man closer. Elijah could feel Orlando's heart racing as Orli held Lij's head to his chest. "Don't assume, because you're wrong."
"What?" Elijah pulled away and looked up at Orli.
"You know why I was so hurt over your little game? Yeah, I was a bit cheesed because you lot thought I was the evening's entertainment, but more because of you- specifically." Orlando took a deep breath. "Look, when Billy told me that you wanted to know- and all you had to do was ask me, by the way- I thought maybe there could be something."
"Fuck, Orli. I didn't-"
"Well, I wasn't going to put an advert in the bloody paper, now was I?"
"Would have been easier." Elijah half-smiled at Orlando, still unsure if what was going on was really going on. "Saved us both some trouble."
"What about you? *You* could have said something too, you know."
Elijah'd wanted to. He'd gone to Orli's with the intention of putting it all out there, but when he saw Viggo's car, he'd lost his nerve. It had seemed as though Orlando's affections were already spoken for. And Elijah was no match for Viggo, or so he thought.
"Oh, well. I don't reckon it matters now. We're both here; we've both said how we feel." Orlando turned away and went back to sit on the chair. "Now we've got to decide what we want to do about it."
"I know what *I* want to do about it." A ridiculously stupid grin spread across Elijah's face and he went to the chair and straddled Orli's lap.
"What?"
"Stop talking about it and fuck already."
"Words of wisdom, Lij."
*~*~*
--Surreal. Sur-fucking-real.--
Orlando was on his back, Elijah was above him, his cock sunk so deep into Orli's body that Orli thought he'd split in two at any moment. When Elijah pulled backwards, Orlando was certain he'd be turned inside out.
"Harder, Orli?"
"Fuck yes." Barely a whisper.
"Like that?"
"Harder."
"Ohhhrli, I dohhhn't thiiink-" Elijah couldn't get the rest of his sentence out in articulate words as he came inside Orlando.
*~*~*
"Orlando?" A voice called from Orli's loungeroom. "Are you here? Your door's not locked. I was going to call, but then I thought "˜fuck it.' Orli?"
To Be Continued. . .